Chapter 10
Chapter 10
"All I'm saying, kid, is just let me know your plans. New York is a dangerous place and I have a shitton of enemies, and I'd rather not be responsible for something happening to you, especially if it's something I could've prevented."
Harry sighed.
"Fine."
Tom sighed as well. "I'm not doing this to be mean, kid. It's a legitimate safety concern and- why the hell did you walk all the way there? Jarvis could've called a taxi, at least."
Harry shrugged.
"Didn't want to cause any trouble." Plus he had no money at that time. "And I don't mind walking, you know. You didn't have to come and get me."
Tony scoffed, making a sharp turn at the same time. Harry didn't think muggles were supposed to drive like that.
"Of course I did. That and I was going to skin Loki alive."
"He didn't actually kidnap me, you know."
"Close enough in my book." Tony shot him a mischievous smirk. "Let him walk back alone, yeah? So, what do you want to do? Get some clothes, maybe? Food? Xbox? What do teenagers like these days?"
Harry had no idea. Joining Death Eaters sounded like something some people would find a great thing to do.
Plus he wasn't a normal teenager. He was never allowed to have anything in the muggle world and in the Magical one, he couldn't do much either.
He was pretty… sheltered, really.
The only real thing he liked was quidditch, and that wasn't an option.
Other than that… well, Harry seemed to be in a desperate need of hobbies.
"No clue," he answered eventually. "I already bought clothes and um… I mean, you can stop to eat somewhere if you want."
Tony looked at him sharply.
"You bought clothes?" He asked, and Harry nodded. "Well, where are they? Where did you buy them?"
Harry smirked. "Shrunken down in my pocket so I don't have to carry dozens of bags, and I found this store called Madam Allard's Boutique for all occasions and, well, I got robes for all occasions." They could even tailor Hogwarts robes for him. He asked.
"Sorry, robes?" Tony asked incredulously, swerving into another lane for a moment, receiving angry honks from other cars.
Harry smiled sheepishly. "Uh… yeah. Wizarding fashion is a little… well, completely different than the one in this world. You have no idea how many weird looks I got because of what I was wearing."
"What's wrong with what you're wearing?!"
"Nothing," Harry frowned. "It's fine in the muggle world but uh… not to be offensive, but wizards consider that wearing sweatpants is equal to being a peasant. Or something worse." Pretty much.
Not even Ron ventured out with sweatpants anymore. He did once in his first year, and that was the only time he got so much attention from the student body, and not the good kind of attention.
Fred and George made fun of him for weeks after that. They were the ones to suggest it to Ron, after all.
It was a good thing Harry didn't own any at all, or he would've been in the same position as Ron. Hell, that's why Harry preferred to wear school uniform as much as he could; because the only other clothes he had were Dudley's cast off's and… well, he liked wearing clothes that fit him and didn't make him look like a street urchin, like Petunia liked to call him. As if she wasn't the one responsible for it.
But now Harry was aware he had money, that his family left him more than one trust fund, so he splurged a bit.
Sue him.
Well, actually, Loki was the one who insisted he buy so much, lording his new status as Harry’s magical guardian, making Harry doubt his otherwise brilliant decision.
"That's stupid. I wear sweatpants all the time and I'm the farthest thing from a peasant," Tony retorted, sounding more baffled than insulted. Thankfully.
"Well, they are comfortable, but um… I'll stick to them in the muggle world, okay?"
"Do whatever you want, kid. You can wear a bathrobe all day for all I care, but then Pepper will call me a neglectful father and will take you away from me. Sorry, can't risk it. I'll guess you'll have to go on another shopping spree with Pepper though, just to appease that insidious woman."
"What?!" Harry screeched. "I don't need more clothes!"
"Sorry, kid. Consider this your punishment for running away."
Harry groaned. "Just great." He just knew it'd be awful. He didn't like people poking him with needles. "So uh.. where are we going?"
"No clue. I've been just driving around until you decide where you want to go."
Harry’s eyes bulged out in sheer shock.
"Why would you do that?!" Petrol was expensive. Vernon complained about taking him to and from King's Cross Station the whole way, even when he's only had to pick Harry up the last few years, considering Harry escaped that hell hole way before September 1st.
And even then Harry would get slammed with chores for wasting his precious time and he had to deep clean the car every single damn time.
And Tony was just… driving around for no reason?
That seemed not only excessive, but insane.
Tony didn't seem bothered though.
"Because I can? I do that a lot, kid; driving around is fun." Then his eyes lit up. "But flying? Just wait till I show you that. You're gonna love it."
"You can… fly?" Harry asked with so much skepticism in his voice that Tony started laughing.
"Oh yeah. Well, not me personally, but my suit."
"Your suit," Harry deadpanned. Pepper mentioned some sort of a suit, but really, Harry had no idea what she meant.
"Yeah? I'm the Iron Man, kid."
As if that was supposed to explain anything.
"I still have no idea what that is," Harry crossed his arms in frustration. It felt like he was dropped off on another planet where he knew none of the terms and he felt really dumb. Kind of like when he stepped into the Magical World where everyone just expected him to know things and he looked like a complete idiot the whole time.
The car swerved before Tony got it under control again. He was staring at Harry.
"Can you look at the road instead of me? And um, if you really want to take me somewhere, you're going to have to choose because I simply have no idea what even is there." Harry grimaced, especially when Tony was still silent. "Sorry."
The silence stretched, making Harry fidget. Did he say something wrong?
Was Tony mad at him?
Oh no. He probably fucked it up already. Way to go, Harry.
"You don't know anything about the Iron Man?" Tony asked him.
"No? I mean, Pepper said some things but uh…" he was a bit too overwhelmed at that moment and probably forgot half of it already. "No, I don't know."
"Oh boy, you're in for a ride."
To Harry it felt like a warning. "What do you mean?"
"I'll show you when we get home. Now." Tony stopped the car and turned to Harry, regarding him with the most serious expression Harry’s seen so far on him. "Can you do something about this atrocious hair? Because if not, I'm afraid I'll have to take you to the salon and turn you into a ginger too. It's only fair that my son takes after me in the looks department."
Harry started sniggering.
No wonder Tony was all covered up.
"I thought you liked your hair."
Tony smirked. "Jarvis, where is the closest hair salon?"
"Wait!" Harry shouted, because he didn't want to change his hair, if that was even possible. They always returned to their current messy state, no matter how Petunia tried to butcher it. And muggles would definitely notice something wrong, like, his hair growing back or refusing to change colour. "I'll fix it!"
"Atta boy." Tony smiled widely, reaching over to pet Harry’s hair. "I knew you'd do it."
Harry scowled.
"Now I'm not gonna."
"Jarvis! Salon-"
"Okay, fine!” Harry didn't even need his wand for this; one flick of his wrist was enough to cancel the charm, but… he made a horrified expression.
"What? What's wrong?!" Tony asked immediately.
"I- it's not working,” Harry wobbled. “I think- I think I made it permanent."
Tony's horrified expression was worth it, and Harry gave himself up too early when he started sniggering.
That utter shock and devastation… no wonder Fred and George never stopped their pranks.
Tony's eyes narrowed, and Harry shut up immediately. Oh boy, he hoped he didn't make a mistake-
"Very funny," Tony drawled, but he took off the hood and his cap, relieved to see his own hair. "I can't believe you have magic. I'm at a disadvantage here!"
"You're not… mad, are you?" Harry asked quietly.
"Mad?" Tony scoffed. "Kid, I'm bloody jealous. Magic is wonderful and while I think it's insane how the laws of physics just don't seem to exist for you, it's wonderful."
A warm feeling surged in Harry’s chest, forcing some horrible emotion that wanted to make him cry.
How disgusting.
And how utterly bizarre his magic wasn't hated.
"And Harry," Tony brought his attention to himself again. "You think your magic is insane? Just wait till I tell you about my world. You'll be the one who wants to run, I promise you that."
Harry was skeptical.
What could be worse than megalomaniacs with too much power after you?
It seemed like neither Tony nor Harry knew much about each other's worlds.
"I bet you five galleons you won't be able to shock me."
"Five… gallons?"
Harry sighed. "Galleons. Magical World has its own currency. It's gold, by the way." Harry pulled out his new pouch that goblins insisted he get and pulled out a galleon, flipping it to Tony who caught it with surprisingly good reflexes.
It made Harry miss quidditch again.
"Well shit, kid." Tony flipped the coin back and forth, looking begrudgingly impressed. "All we've got is paper money. Totally worthless by itself."
"There are also silver sickles and bronze knuts."
Tony whistled.
“No wonder gold is so expensive. Y'all are hoarding it."
Harry snorted, but Tony had a point, really. Were they hoarding it? It's not like it was convenient, carrying coins around, especially if you didn't have a pouch like Harry’s. This one, apparently, had a direct link to his vault, or something like that.
"So, how do these work?"
Harry quickly explained the monetary system of the Wizarding World, finding it a bit ridiculous, just as the other man seemed to, but it's not like they could do anything about it. Harry was used to it by now, really.
"So, how do those muggleborns get galleons? I assume you can convert the money. Or do they bring their own gold?"
"Oh, you can convert at the bank. It's like, £5 for one galleon."
"Five pounds!" Tony shouted. "Kid, this piece of gold is worth at least three hundred bucks. How has nobody gotten filthy rich due to this?"
Harry smirked. "Goblins aren't stupid, you know. They are the ones who lowered the rates so muggleborns could afford anything, but you see, there are enchantments on wizarding money. You try and take it somewhere other than our world, try to sell it as gold, and muggles would see it as nothing more than a worthless piece of junk. No idea how that works, but it's goblin magic."
"Jesus fucking Christ," Tony muttered. "You're gonna have to take me there sometime."
"Not today though."
"Not today."
They eventually got out of the car and headed into an Italian restaurant. Harry cast some more glamours on himself and Tony, since neither of them wanted to be swamped by people and would rather have a peaceful lunch.
Harry allowed Tony to order for him, since none of the names sounded familiar to him and he felt rather lost.
"So, Harry. Tell me about your world."
With a heavy sigh Harry began to tell the tale of the Boy-Who-Lived.
Tony was livid.
Harry may have glossed over the details, excited to tell him all about a magical wonderland, but Tony could look at it from the perspective of an adult.
The things that seemed so cool and like an adventure to Harry sounded like lawsuits for endangering a minor to Tony.
Why was his son put through all of those adventures to save somebody else? Where were his professors? Law enforcement? Literally anyone else but his small teenager of a son?
How come all of those powerful wizards didn't see a bloody Dark Lord possessing a professor? Nobody?
And why were all these trials that first years could pass through easily were set up in school? To Tony it seemed very much like the headmaster was baiting this Voldemort with the come and get me kind of deal.
If the Philosopher's Stone was real - which really shouldn't be possible, but Tony had given up at this point about things that shouldn't be possible - then why would the old man hide it in a school full of children? Why advertise it?
Tony smelled something fishy.
And then that thing with a basilisk? Talking diaries? Tony needed a drink.
Now, he's heard about Sirius Black, vaguely, when he was in Britain that year for a week or so. Serial killer or whatever.
Tony wondered if that man - even if Harry’s godfather - had brainwashed the boy.
He could see it happening: a boy who desperately wanted a family and a place to belong being offered all that and more - why wouldn't Harry say yes?
And that's not mentioning the sheer insanity of time travel or men being able to turn into animals - Tony was going to ignore all of that for the time being, in order to preserve his questionable sanity.
It was no wonder nobody believed Harry about Black being innocent. Tony was having a hard time believing it himself.
But a few things stuck out again. Why would the headmaster of a school assign two teenagers to save and release an escaped convict? Wrongfully convicted or not, they were just kids. If he wanted Black out so badly, why couldn't Dumbledore let the man out himself?
And what the fuck was up with the soul sucking monsters? And werewolves?
Tony really needed a drink after that one.
Oh, and if an escaped convict could enter the school so easily, as well as all of these monsters and Dark Lords, then what else could just slip in without anyone noticing? That sounded like yet another lawsuit waiting to happen due to nonexistent student safety at that horrendous school.
Tony really hoped Harry didn't harbor any hope of wanting to go back. There were plenty of private schools Tony could send him to or- or probably other magical ones Harry would like.
Because despite all of the magic, Hogwarts sounded like a death trap.
And that had nothing on what happened this year.
He was seething inside, having a hard time not getting up and setting the whole team of Avengers on the Wizarding Britain.
He didn't know what kind of dumpster fire the overseas government was, how they could be so corrupt to sicc themselves on a fucking teenager, but Tony wasn't going to stand for it.
He had enough time and money to sue every single one of them.
Harry had no one to stand up for him, which infuriated Tony more than anything else. But no matter. Harry wasn't going anywhere now that Tony knows about him.
He'll make sure of it.
"Picture? What for?!"
"Harry, be reasonable. For your passport!"
"What do I need a muggle passport for? I never had one!"
Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, reminding himself to breathe deeply.
The day was going so well. He and his son bonded, had an awesome lunch, drove all around New York, watched Godfather in the theater, laughed at Loki who they found still cursing after having to walk all the way back - currently sulking a few floors below since Tony kicked him out - and now the whole lighthearted mood was ruined. Because of this.
"You're my son. And yes, mine, a lowly magicless muggle who requires a legal passport to travel. You need one as well."
Harry crossed his arms and pouted. Lord gracious, what did Tony do to deserve this?
"I can travel by magical means."
"Uh, not here you can't. Don't you want a drivers license?"
Harry blanched. "Me? Driving?!" He sounded hysterical, enough that Tony wondered if there was some story behind it. "I'll stick to flying, thanks."
"But Harryyy… driving is awesome, and I've got loads of cars you could pick from. Even got a few bikes." That perked Harry up, but he still stayed stubbornly silent.
Huh, so Harry was partial to bikes. Noted.
"Fine. You're too young anyway. But what's the big deal? I'm getting your custody transferred, making you my legal son, who needs to have legal paperwork. Otherwise people are going to think I kidnapped you."
And they would. If only to sell more copies.
"I don't like people taking my pictures," Harry muttered eventually, still looking like an adorable pouting kitten. Tony wanted to ruffle his hair, but he didn't want to be turned into a ginger again.
"Eh, I'm sure Jarvis could do it. We'll just send it in or something."
"I'm not a citizen, though."
"Oh, didn't I tell you? My faithful lawyers visited your… well, I ain't gonna call them family. Under some threats and heavy NDA clauses, they willingly signed away your custody, not that they had any legal right to question it."
They didn't want to at first. They managed to hide that it was Tony Stark who was demanding custody, and those idiots were stupid enough or didn't care enough to demand who was interested to have Harry. They signed happily, but they also tried to demand compensation. Which not only had Tony denied, but he threatened them with lawsuits of child abuse.
Apparently, that enraged that walrus of a man, but essentially, there was nothing they could do. They didn't want their neighbors to find out what they'd done to their nephew.
They signed.
It was done.
"They… they signed it?" Harry asked hesitantly. "When? I've only been here a few days."
"Just now," Tony shrugged, unconcerned. "Will it make you feel better if I told you they were visited in the middle of the night? I mean, I could've waited till it was morning there - time difference and all that - but where's the fun in that?" And convincing half asleep people of something was much easier, Tony found.
"So… you're officially my guardian?" Harry’s voice was timid. "Just like that?"
Tony didn't like that.
"Yep!" Tony clapped his hands. "Well, there are just a few more things that need to be confirmed, but I'm pushing it through as fast as possible. No need to worry, Harry. It's just…" Tony grinned. "Is it too late to do a gender reveal party?"
Harry spluttered, never having expected something like this to come out of Tony's mouth, who was grinning unapologetically.
"To whom? Yourself? I mean… I'm glad you finally figured out your gender-"
Tony groaned loudly. Figures his son would be a sarcastic little shit. Just like his father.
"Keep it up, champ, and I'll get Pepper to dress you up for it. She loves parties. I'm sure she wouldn't mind organising-"
"No!" Harry shouted, throwing his hands. "No party! Plus, I don't know anyone here!"
"You know me. And Pepper. And Loki." Tony paused. "Thor is gone, Banner is hiding, but I'm sure Cap would show up." He grinned when Harry scowled at the mention of Rogers. "Not a fan?"
"Of who? The walking flag that everyone must bow to? Arrogant much?"
Tony laughed. Harry was a riot. "You know, he's supposed to be a symbol of American values and whatnot. And now, since you're about to receive dual citizenship… would you be interested in lessons?"
The mortified look on Harry’s face was worth it. "I'll run off to Peru. You'd never find me."
"I'd follow you. I'm fast."
"I'm faster."
"Nah. Have you seen me fly? Nothing can catch me."
"Nothing can catch me either when I'm flying."
They both continued glaring at each other, neither backing down.
Tony huffed, realizing that he should show more maturity than a teenager.
"Wait, you can actually fly? You weren't pulling my leg?"
Harry’s face brightened up so quickly Tony got a whiplash.
He nodded excitedly, the moody teenager disappearing in a blink of a moment.
"Yes! I even got the fastest broom on the market. Sirius got it for me after my last one got smashed into bits by the whomping willow during the game. It can reach 150m/h and-"
"Excuse me, did you say your broom reaches the speed of 150m/s?!" Tony asked incredulously. "A broom?"
"Yes!" Harry bounced on his legs. "And there's a game called quidditch, played on brooms. I'm a seeker - youngest in century, actually." Good god, the kid looked the most lively since appearing in Tony's house. And it was about flying brooms out of all things. Why couldn't it be Xbox?
"You play a flying game?"
Harry nodded, grinning.
"What about safety measures?"
The teenager had the gall to look confused. "Safety… measures? For what?"
"Ugh… you just told me you play a game, in the air flying at neck breaking speed. Surely there are some sort of measures taken so you don't end up dead?"
Harry blushed, a deep frown appearing on his face. "Well, professors always watch in the stands in case something happens. I mean, I fell off the broom last year and Dumbledore stopped my fall - didn't even break anything that time, although I don't remember much; kind of passed out mid air. That's when my Nimbus, ah… last broom got broken. But, well… nobody's really died from quidditch, at least not recently. That's what spells are for. And bones are easy to heal, so…" Harry shrugged, having the audacity to look completely nonchalantly and apologetic after giving Tony a speech worthy of a heart attack.
His pressure was already spiked and kept rising with every word.
"You- you fell off a broom?" He asked through clenched teeth. How was Harry even alive?
A sudden terrifying thought pierced Tony's mind: Harry could've died. And he would've never known he had a son. All because of negligence of some British assholes who will feel the full wrath of one Anthony Howard Stark. They just wait.
"Yeah," Harry scratched his neck sheepishly. "The dementors- they're soul sucking creatures that guard our prison, they were patrolling around Hogwarts last year and- well, for some reason they kept targeting me. And they- they suck the happiness out of you, bringing out the worst moments of your life and- and they showed up during the match. It was during a storm and nobody saw them coming until it was too late, and when they come too close I pass out and-"
"Alright, that's enough," Tony snapped harshly, instantly regretting it when Harry flinched. "I'm suing your school."
"What? Why?!" Harry cried out, panicked suddenly.
How could the boy sound so indignant after what he just told Tony?
"Everything you've told me about that school sounds like a deathtrap. You're supposed to be safe in school and not face mortal danger all the fucking time! The most traumatic thing that should happen to you in school should be being dumped in front of everybody, not- not soul sucking monsters or Dark Lords!" Tony ranted on, feeling overwhelmed with anger and fear of losing his newly found son to that- that school.
No.
He didn't care if the wizards will come after him. Let them.
Tony has more than enough arsenal to blow anything up.
But none of them will be taking his son back there. Over his dead and rotting body.
"You and I will be going back to that magical Alley of yours, and you will show me directly to the best lawyers they have."
Harry squirmed.
"So uh… there's one more thing you need to know?"
Oh, he knew that tone. It was the I did something and you're gonna hate it tone.
"Well, go on, kid. I promise, I'm not gonna be mad at you."
"So… in a magical world a child must have a magical guardian."
"Okay. Go on." He didn't like where this was going.
"So, I just found out that until now my guardian was Dumbledore and- well, goblins didn't like that he neglected his duties. So, until I'm emancipated, for which I've already filed the papers and have a strong claim… I had to get a new temporary guardian."
Dread started to pool in Tony's gut.
Harry’s face was bright red. Kid looked ready to flee.
"Well, and Loki was conveniently just right there, so…"
God damn it.
Tony knew he should've shot the bastard while he had the chance.
He looked at his son, who looked sheepish despite the slight guilt Tony could detect.
"Stay here," he said suddenly and started walking towards the elevator. "I'll be back in a mo', just after I obliterate a child stealing asgardian from my home."
"What? No!" Harry sprung after him, but Tony was determined.
"I only got your custody and he snatched it away from me!" Tony cried. "He shall face justice."
"I didn't have anyone else to ask!" Harry shouted. "It has to be a person with magic, and, well, Loki is a literal God. I like the odds better if he's my guardian than someone Dumbledore appoints, who will no doubt drag me back to Dursleys. And no, pretty sure your word wouldn't matter."
"That's it. I'm lawyering up with magical lawyers. What did you call government here? Mac users or something?"
"MACUSA."
"Splendid. The moment I have your passport in my hand as a proof, we're contacting the most cutthroat law people out there. But until then, you still need to take a picture."
Harry groaned loudly.
"Can't we just obliterate Loki instead?"