Your Boi is Eepy
Harry woke up to a knock on the door.
He wasn't sure why he woke up exactly- it was the middle of his mid-morning nap- but he was rattled by the door handle rattling.
The teen strolled over to his main door, and peered through the peephole to see what was disturbing him.
Or rather who.
As he walked to the door, Harry hoped it wasn't stupid Stark with all his prying ways, and ideas.
Then, the boy flung the door open to meet DUM-E whirring excitedly at him.
The hardware trundled past him into the living room before beeping- loudly.
"Wait, wait DUM-E??!! What are you doing here?!! Does your Dad know where you are?" Harry closed the door and casually walked over to the bot.
DUM-E whined and beeped in distress.
"Well..." Harry walked to the kitchen and conjured some motor oil for the little dude, steering the stream into one of his less special glasses. The bot didn't know his own strength, and Harry wasn't risking his favourite crystal glasses.
"I left because your dad did something very naughty. Actions have consequences and all that jazz. Your dad needs to learn that." Harry passed the glass over to DUM-E. The bot whirred questioningly.
"Yes. I know everyone else is sad. Maybe I'll come over every now and then..." Harry watched the bot open his side hatch and place the glass inside. A loud noise filled the room for a second and then DUM-E took the glass back out- empty- and handed it back to Harry, who was still talking about his dad.
"Was it good?" Harry interrupted his train of thought to watch DUM-E wobble to and fro in happiness at how tasty the oil was.
"You're very welcome." Harry smiled.
"Lets go to the couch and talk shall we?" Harry placed the now re-filled glass on the coffee table, and flopped down on the couch with plenty of room for DUM-E to stand opposite him.
The bot lowered his chassis so that he was eye level with Harry, and began beeping and blooping hurriedly.
Harry listened intently, and hugged the bot when he was finished communicating. "I think your family is very lucky to have you DUM-E. It means a lot to me that you've come all this way just to speak with me. I think I acted very harshly. Just because your dad did something wrong, doesn't mean everyone else should suffer. It makes me happy to know that Thor and Steve loved going out with me. I feel bad that they miss me so much. JARVIS must be very upset if he's not allowing COF-E to make coffee for your dad anymore. And U and Butterfingers putting oil in his coca cola??!! How devious!!"
DUM-E shook in robotic giggles, then whirred some more.
Harry burst out laughing. "I bet your dad will feel really silly when he finds out that it is not, an anal set. I hope he didn't make any of you touch it if he thought it was. His innocent babies exposed to such debauchery!! The fact that he's erected a little quarantine tent around the table is so funny!!!! And don't think I didn't see what you did there. 'erected' very carefully chosen words hmmm? Your dad does know you all have access to the internet doesn't he?" Harry devolved into laughter again.
DUM-E trundled over to the huge TV Harry had in the corner of his living room, and tapped the screen with a questioning beep.
"Bing?" Harry stood up to get closer to the screen. He really needed a new prescription, because he couldn't see the damn thing from two metres away.
"I've not heard of it." Harry turned the screen on, and went to look the show up on youtube. "You'll have to tell me which one is the right one okay."
DUM-E beeped ecstatically. "You watch it with Daddy and Petey?" Harry cooed as he scrolled through to find an episode DUM-E liked.
DUM-E nodded. "But Daddy is the 'bestest' to watch it with??!! How cute DUM-E!!" Harry corralled the large boy into the corner of the living room, and grabbed a blanket. He covered the boy in the fluffy red throw the best he could, and then opened his phone. It would be best to let Tony know the bot had somehow made his way over to his appartment.
Harry did not expect Tony to have gone insane on Twitter.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
I went down to the lab this morning.
DUM-E IS MISSING!!!!!!
COME BACK DUM-E. I'M SORRRRRRRRRRRY!!!!!!!
cumon@spankme
Who's dummy?
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
DUM-E
PPotts@TheBoss
His baby.
PPotts@TheBoss
What did you do to upset him?
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
I DON'T KNOW!!!! I JUST WANT MY BABY BACK!!
IwenttoHawaii@WOW!!
I didn't know TS had a kid. I mean, I know celebrities have a thing about giving their children weird and ridiculous monikers, but DUM-E? That kid is bullied at school surely. lol
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
Cut me some slack. I was like fourteen when I named him okay?!
Cap!@ShmaptainShmerica
Dear Tony Stark,
I was not aware that you had a child so young. I didn't realise there were two DUM-E's either. When can I meet your flesh child?
Sincerely,
Steve Rogers.
SIIntern@PBP
'Flesh child'. Makes me want to be sick actually.
SIIntern@PBP
Thanks for that Steve.
lifesline@spaceybabey
Teen dad Tony Stark before GTA6 guys.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
no. No. NO!!
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
I rebuke this!!
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
DUM-E is a robot I built for a college project. He's a very good boy, but now he's gone missing. Please.
Help me find him.
beatme@likeadrum
#FindDUM-E
PPotts@TheBoss
What a good idea!!
#FindDUM-E
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
PLEASE COME HOME BABY!!
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
DADDY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE DID TO UPSET YOU. BUT HE'S SORRY!!
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
BABY COME HOME!! PLEASE!!
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
I'M ON MY KNEES!!
BEGGING!!
#FindDUM-E
Ilove,love@lovetolove
Seeing Tony Stark waxing poetical about his robot son is my Roman Empire apparently. Pop off @TinyStank. Fatherhood suits you.
#FindDum-E
SIIntern@PBP
#FindDUM-E
>>>>>> continue thread
~~~~~~
SIIntern@PBP
Sooooo, I hacked into the security cameras around the Tower, and guess what I see.
DUM-E trundling around like he owns the streets.
SIIntern@PBP
@TinyStank Did you run out of motor oil or something? Your son looks like he's on a mission to pillage every garage in town to get a fix.
Chibitalia@pasta
@PBP "Pillage??!!!!" I'm dying.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
WHERE WAS HE GOING????!!!!
WE NEED TO FIND HIM AND BRING HIM HOME!!
PPotts@TheBoss
Calm down. Peter is doing his best to find out where DUM-E went as we speak.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!! DUM-E IS MY FIRST CHILD. WE DON'T DO FAVOURITES IN THIS HOUSE, BUT DUM-E IS MY SON AND HE'S GONE MISSING!!
Cakr@IcingSucrose
We stan a healthy parent-child relationship. First child though, how many kids do you have?
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
...I...
👀
SIIntern@PBP
@TinyStank Gone walkabouts is more accurate. I'm eating ice-cream watching this feed. He's so sweet, he even stopped to wave at Mrs Hargreaves at that mama and papa pizza place you like.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
I need to know.
Did. They. Wave. Back?
SIIntern@PBP
Yes.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
Good.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
NOW.
WHERE DID HE GO??!!
PPotts@TheBoss
Watching you devolve on Twitter was not what I imagined my morning to be. But hey, at least I'm not bored.
~~~~~~~~~
HPB@GoldenBoy
Sooooooo...
HPB@GoldenBoy
@TinyStank DUM-E turned up on my doorstep this morning.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
YOU HAVE HIM?
IS HE OKAY??!! MY BABY, WALKING THROUGH TOWN ALL ON HIS OWN!!!!
HPB@GoldenBoy
he's okay.
he came to beg me to come back. he says he misses me at home, so he wanted a cuddle.
PPotts@TheBoss
So sweet.
Are you coming back now? We really miss you.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
DUM-E!!!! MY HEART IS MELTING.
HPB@GoldenBoy
i'll be back on monday i guess.
HPB@GoldenBoy
And Anthony Edward Stark, if you pull a stunt like that again, no amount of grovelling from DUM-E will get me to come back. Keep your nose out of other people's business. Let them open up to you when they're ready. Trauma is a real thing, and no amount of money you shove at someone can make them heal instantly. You may be a cyborg, but the rest of us are completely human, with human feelings, human struggles, and human rights.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
I really am sorry Harry.
HPB@GoldenBoy
Thank you.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
Thor and Steve are going to be so excited to see you!!
smackmyass@likeadrum
We stan healthy boundries in a relationship. I'll show my therapist this thread when they ask about relationships I look up to.
lovecake@cupcakes!!
I wish I was this self aware when I was Harry's age. I'm like thirty, but still entertain stupid behaviours like a child lol.
HarryStan@Clapclap
Harry standing on business is so hot.
StanHarry@claPClap
Like. We've not seen this guy's face, but I'd marry him if I could.
Cap!@ShmaptainShmerica
Dear Clapclap and claPClap,
Harry is a minor. Please refrain from commenting heinous things about him.
Thank you,
Steve Rogers.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
Steve Rogers Standing on Business!! Go ON!!
Cap!@ShmaptainShmerica
Dear Harry Potter,
Can we please go and visit Candy the Capybara and Quincie the Quokka on Monday?
Pleeeeeaaaaaassssseeeee.
Sincerely,
Steve Rogers.
HPB@GoldenBoy
You've named them???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! What does the zoo have to say about that? Hmmmm?
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
He and Thor have been back and forth every day to mourn you at the zoo. Something about, 'Harry used to bring us here.' I don't really understand it to be honest.
HPB@GoldenBoy
"Cyborg."
PPotts@TheBoss
If I didn't know how kind and compassionate he can be, I would say the man's all metal.
But he has a heart.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
I DO!!
HPB@GoldenBoy
i'm going to finish watching this episode of Bing with DUM-E, and then i'll walk him home.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
HE TOLD YOU ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LOVES BING????!!!! HE LOVES YOU HARRY!!!!
I'M SOBBING ON THE TOILET RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
SIIntern@PBP
Harry, we'll have to watch Bing together. Did DUM-E tell you about our evenings on the couch?
HPB@GoldenBoy
he did!!
he loves watching Bing with his daddy the most though. @TinyStank
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
@TheBoss I'm sobbing.
PPotts@TheBoss
He is.
PPotts@TheBoss
I can hear him from the kitchen.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
I LOVE WATCHING BING WITH DUM-E!!!!
HPB@GoldenBoy
We're coming back now.
AWWWWW!!@DUM-EsMom
This entire thread has made me so soft. The fact that Tony Stark sits down to watch Bing with his robot son is somehow so sweet to me. like...
ThatAss!@Capcanreammeraw
LIKE!!
We've discovered so much about Tony Stark today, and I love it. This Harry guy seems good for him too. Like, that telling off? Full name and everything? @TinyStank is so whipped. Family man at heart. #IronDad.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
I am.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
Whipped. That is.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
That is all.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
#IronDad
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Trending Tags:
#ISawHarry&DUM-EWalkingHome
#BingNightForDUM-E
#IronDad
SIIntern@PBP
I'm just looking at the footage of DUM-E rolling to your house Harry. @GoldenBoyThose poor pedestrians were so confused.
HPB@GoldenBoy
@TinyStank your son is really clever. i don't know how, seeing as you're his dad. but yes Peter, he looks so cute!! that one guy in blue looked ready to call the cops lol. random squealing GOOD BOI rolling around the place. Love you DUM-E. <3
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
@TheBoss Harry's bullying me.
PPotts@TheBoss
Good.
HPB@GoldenBoy
i'm going back to bed now. i love DUM-E, but he woke me from my nap. your boy is eepy
Cap!@ShmaptainShmerica
Dear Harry,
Are you always sleeping? Every time you message the Twitter, you're always off to bed.
Sincerely,
Steve Rogers
Cap!@ShmaptainShmerica
Harry Potter?
SIIntern@PBP
Shhhhh. He's sleeping!!
~~~~~~
Trending Tags:
#EepyBoi
#DUM-EForPromKing
#IdiotStank