Remus lupin knew he wasn't okay. He knew he hadn't been okay in a very long time. He also hoped that his friends didn't know.
The weeks after the prank alot of things had changed. The rest of the marauders were ignoring Sirius, and pretending he didn't even exist. Sirius had been forced to change rooms, Frank had taken his place... his bed. Everything felt out of place. Dumbledore had a meeting with him and his parents, James, Sirius and of course Effie and Monty had shown up for the both of them, and Snape and his mother. It was horrible.
One of the only thoughts going round his head during every day and night was that he should just die. Everyone would just be so much happier if he was dead. Hogwarts would be safer, the world would probably be safer without a monster like him in it. He had thought about it before but now he was really going to do it. And so he started to plan it out. He would do it when everyone was in bed, so after curfew.
He was ready. Ready to finally die. It was past curfew on a friday. He had his favourite meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner. His perfect last meals.
He climbed the spiral stairs to the top of the tallest tower, he wasn't going to jump, he had tried that before in second year when the marauders found out his "little fury problem", it wouldn't work there had been a charm around it incase someone fell.. or jumped and it slowed your fall and would be like hitting a soft pillow when you landed. So he wasn't going to jump. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I guess this is it" he whispered into the night.
He took out his wand and muttered something, it didn't hurt, he was used to the pain. Crimson blood started draining from his arm. He did another cut. And another. His head was spinning but he didn't stop. Now covered in sticky crimson blood he fell against the wall behind him, breathing unevenly. His vision fading.. this was it. With that, everything went dark, his body slumped against the cold brick wall.
He didn't know how much time had passed but he could hear faint voices that he vaguely recognised. After a few seconds of readjusting he knew that he could identify the voices of Madame Pomfrey, professor McGonagall and his mother and father. He stirred not wanting to open his eyes. He stirred again and this time he opened them. He didn't know where he was at first it took a few seconds. Oh. He knew. He knew he wasn't infact dead but was very much alive and lying in a bed in the hospital wing. Tears flooded his eyes, he tried to blink them away but that just made them come faster. He was crying. He hates crying it made him feel so weak but he couldn't help it. His body shaking with silent tears.
He could still hear the four voices and he knew they were talking about him but he disney care. As if on cue his mother turned around and rushed to him. "O cariad. Ti'n iawn. Ti'n iawn" came the sweet voice of his mum. She hugged him and he just cried and cried while she was stroking his curly hair. "Rwyt ti'n iawn fy nghariad" she whispered in his ear. "Rwy'n dy garu di remus."
He knew he would be okay when his mum was with him.