truth is, I can't pretend it's platonic
Mary did not like James Potter one bit. He was pompous. He was arrogant. He was annoying. He and his stupid friends never stopped playing their stupid jokes on the entire school. And worst of all, he was in love with Lily Evans.
For five years, he’d been chasing after her with hearts in his eyes, worshipping the ground she walked on and basking in the warmth she left wherever she went. Thankfully, Lily had never given him the time of day, too hung up on the fact that his favourite target was her best friend.
Greasy snake, Mary thought bitterly. He had been in love with Lily too. And he, too, was a pompous, arrogant, annoying asshole. But everything had changed last year, when Snape and Lily had a falling out, and now she no longer sneered at everything Potter said, but instead smiled. And giggled. And touched his arm playfully.
Mary watched as she did all three, and Potter’s face lit up like a firework. Unbelievable. She’d spent five years being Lily’s closest friend in Gryffindor, spent all of last year comforting her after she’d stopped talking to Snape, and now one day into the new school year, and Potter thought he could swoop in and sweep her away?
Glowering at the pair, she started towards them, until an arm hung itself over her shoulder and swung her around.
“Hello, Macdonald,” a cheery voice exclaimed.
Ugh, thought Mary, now even more disgruntled.
“Hello, Black,” she mumbled back.
Sirius released her from his grip and turned to face her, grinning widely. “What’s got you so down? Breakfast wasn’t to your liking this morning?”
“Breakfast was fine,” she huffed, glancing back at the pair before turning quickly back to Sirius. “I’m just…not looking forward to class, that’s all.”
He let out a rather exaggerated noise of agreement. “Yeah, Binns is the worst, isn’t he?” He pretended to pause for a moment in thought, before snapping his fingers (also rather exaggeratedly) and letting out a small “Aha!”
“I’ve got an idea,” he grinned (Mary was beginning to grow rather tired of his grin), “How about you and I sit together and try to throw things through his head without him noticing?”
She stared at him. To be honest, that did sound like fun, but Sirius Black also knew that for the last five years, Mary and Lily always sat together in History of Magic (and in Transfiguration, Charms, Divination, plus Defence Against the Dark Arts since The Incident, but who’s counting?). They were best friends. (Yes. Just best friends). And she happened to know that he always, always sat with Potter. It wasn’t exactly difficult to see what he was up to.
“I was under the impression that you and James–“ his first name tasted rather bitter on her tongue, “–were attached at the head like a pair of conjoined twins.”
Sirius barked a laugh, “HA! You’re funny, Macdonald.” He cast a subtle glance at Lily and James, one almost too quick for Mary to see, but she did anyway. Her stomach churned. “Well, you appear to have seen through my clever ruse. I’ve been assigned to keep Cerberus at bay so James can get his Persephone.”
Her eyebrow raised. “Cerberus?”
“The three-headed dog guarding the gates of hell?” He supplied.
Mary rolled her eyes. “I know who Cerberus is.”
She received a shrug in response. “Well, you’re always clinging to Evans like you’re her personally assigned bodyguard. It seemed fitting.”
She felt her stomach do a flip. Surely he doesn’t know that I–
“Come on, Macdonald. She’s not pushing him away or anything, just give him a chance to woo her,” Sirius implored. She noted the way his gaze had softened and her heart gave a tiny twinge. “You want Lily to be happy, don’t you?”
Fuck. She did, she really did, but could Lily really be happy with James Potter? No, not when she could be so much happier with me.
But she couldn’t. Lily couldn’t be with Mary. They’d never work. She could hope it and dream it all she wanted, but she knew it was useless. As much as she wished otherwise, their relationship was forever platonic. Mary Macdonald was Lily Evans’ best friend: no more, no less. And now she was finally being forced into that role – a tool to help her friend get the guy and live her happily ever after. The princess with the prince, just like it was always supposed to be. The reality she’d tried to ignore all summer came crashing down all over her as her eyes shifted back over to where Lily and James were. Or where they had been. The spot was empty now, and Mary left Sirius’ side to walk to the classroom door.
Lily was sitting in her usual spot, but in the spot beside her where Mary had always sat, was James Potter. That shaggy haired bitch was distracting me. Lily sent her an apologetic look. ‘We’ll sit together next class,’ she mouthed.
Mary felt another twinge in the left side of her chest. Strange. She ignored it. She turned to her side, where Sirius had appeared, receiving Potter’s thumbs up with a grin, and snarled, “Alright, Black. Let’s throw some parchment.”
The class was spent with Mary sitting in a seat at the edge of the classroom next to Sirius, glaring at the side of James’ head, and occasionally throwing an “stray” ball of parchment at his head instead of Binns’. Petty, but it did make her feel slightly better, especially when Lily giggled and spared a glance back at her.
Sirius Black wasn’t bad company. He was witty and funny, and as much as she wanted to, Mary couldn’t fault him for helping his best friend. Godric, if she hadn’t fallen in love with Lily, she probably would’ve been rooting for him along with the rest of the school. The guy always gets the girl. If she’s learned anything from all those stupid muggle films her father showed her as a child, it was that.
Her new desk partner had surprisingly good aim, almost always managing to throw his objects right through Binns’ forehead. It was strange that their professor didn’t seem to notice, but with all the shimmering wisps around his face as he droned on, it was hard to even tell if he was conscious. Or as conscious as a ghost could be, she supposed. Mary tried to ignore the growing spasms in her chest, humouring Sirius’ quips with a laugh every now and then, and occasionally reciprocating with a joke of her own. She couldn’t risk him getting suspicious of her foul mood and its cause.
As tolerable as he was to sit next to, Mary still felt a rush of relief when Dorcas Meadowes raised her hand to interrupt the monotone groaning of their professor and said, “Sir, the lesson’s over now.”
“Oh.” There was a slow flickering over Binns’ face, which she guessed was his version of blinking. “Yes. Alright then, off you go.”
While Sirius hung back slightly, dragging his feet, Mary sprung to hers and bounded over to where Lily had finished packing up her bag. She looped her arm through her friend’s, and faked a bright smile at the pair. “Alright there, Potter? You wouldn’t mind me stealing Lily here, would you?”
As he opened his mouth to reply, she gave Lily’s arm a tug and started walking away.
“Great, thanks!” she called out behind her, dragging her friend out the classroom and down the hall.
The uncomfortable tingles in her heart were replaced with something warmer as Lily smiled at Mary, as if she’d been waiting for her all along. “How was sitting with Black?”
Mary let out a dramatic groan, and threw her hand up to her forehead. “Merlin, it was horrible! Never leave me again, please.”
“I won’t, I promise! I was waiting for you, but Potter cornered me and when we went inside, he slid into your chair before I could say a word!” Her companion huffed in mock indignance. Her green eyes twinkled. Mary’s eyes raked over her face, noting the light flush dusted across her cheeks, the way her lips seemed to twist up effortlessly around whenever she looked at her.
A flash of satisfaction went through her stomach. She called him “Potter.” She called it my chair. Maybe she wasn’t totally enamoured with him.
Yet, said a small voice in the back of her mind. Shut the fuck up, she replied.
Everything was fine. There was still time.