long time no see
TW: kiss of a dementor
Days, weeks and a whole month passed. Sirius was used to all of this now. The awful stuff to eat. The good memories being hurtful. Every night he would cry and wake up to an awful bad dream.
3 December 81
Days past and it was now December 12 1981 if I was right.
He woke up a lot at night so he wasn't right at all
It was really hard for me cause I woke up a lot at night and sometimes thought it was already the next day. But I needed some sort of orientation. And I'm not going to start over again just because it didn't felt right
stupid.
The days passed exactly the same.
Waking up.
Crying.
Eating.
Sleeping.
At night I normally would have bad dreams and in the morning I would mostly cry about James.
So this day I woke up to the other prisoner screaming again. He was really loud at night too. Would scream he was innocent and hit the walls. It's fucking annoying. 'Oh im innocent let me out pleeaasee.' I sometimes can't sleep because of him. This bitch.
He was the whole hallway down so I couldn't really talk to him. But I saw him when I was brought here. Dark brown hair. Blue eyes. I didn't knew him. Probably a deatheater. Or less important or something I don't really care. I just want him to shut the fuck up.
What I found out was that it's noon when we get our "meal". Even better to keep track of the days.
Waking up.
Crying.
Eating.
Sleeping.
Mostly I would cry about Remus after that.
I heard a noise at the entrance. Dinner time. Juhey. The no name annoying bitch would always be first. I looked over there. The no name annoying bitch grabbed the dementor's arm while he gave him the food. It kinda looked funny how he was wrestling with the dementor. I couldn't help myself and chuckled. Okay that guy was completely insane.
"Please let me out I I didn't do anything bad! He forced me to! Forced me-"
I rolled my eyes and continued to watch the scene. "Hey you!"- a guard. The dementor looked at the human. "Ministry decided he's useless. Remove him." The black robed being grabbed the prisoners arm and pulled him closer. Please dont let that happen- I tried closed my eyes but I couldn't close them in time. I saw how the dementor pulled down his cap revealing the dark grey skin like head and the huge disgusting mouth.
"No No No!! I- I can tell things an-" I heard the scared scream, muffling and silence. I saw the body fell to the ground. I stared at the soulless body. Silence. Complete silence.
And then the cold fled over the cells like a hurricane. I curled up and tried to warm myself with my coat. It didn't work. I never wanted to see that. I closed my eyes. It became colder and colder and I crawled back to the last wall in his cell. The dementor layed down his food.
I didn't eat anything today. I was not hungry. I knew I would get his plate full of- whatever this sort of supposed-to-be-non-food was. I stared at the dementor. My eyes flickered over to the guy. The cell was empty.
4 December 81
I felt like something bad is going to happen today. I slept without any bad dreams. That has to mean something. At the moment of that thought I heard some noise at one side of the long corridor between the cells. I turned my head slowly over there. Someone was coming. I can see but not who.
It turned out to be a Auror. Maybe they realized that I should get a trial? Or that I'm innocent? Found Peter? Remus told them I would never- He probably saw my excited face 'cause his first words were: "You're not getting out." Damn it.
"Someone is here to see you. I'll get you in the speaking room you'll stay. The person gets 10 minutes. Then they leave and we'll bring you back. Understood?" I nodded. I was to overwhelmed to speak. I didn't know you could talk with prisoners. And who would want speak to me? Dumbledore? Remus? Mary? Minnie- Minerva?
"Stand up common we don't have forever." I stood up and walked closer. He opened the cell and grabbed my arm. "Don't try anything" I scoffed while he chained my hands behind my back. Then he pushed me forward and led me into a even darker room with just one window above my head. He left and I stared up to the window my back facing the door. It was not cold in here. No dementors probably. I tried to think about something happy but all I could remember was pain and loss.
"Sirius." My heart froze. No. This can't be. No. I don't wanna see her face. No please. This has to be a dream. Wake up Sirius. Wake up. I pinched my arm. Autch...not a dream. Please just end me. Of course she would visit but heck end me. It's been years..-
"Sirius?" I'm not going to turn around. I won't ever look in her fucking disgusting face again. I promised to myself. "Why are you here?", I said. My voice was quiet and raspy. I haven't talked in days. I tried to breath regularly but my heart beat got faster and anger crawled up through my vains into my head.
"I'm proud of you. You found the right side." My blood startet boiling. "You are proud of me. You. are. proud. of. me.?" I won't face her. I won't turn around and give her the satisfaction. No. Never. "You're proud of me you écœurante salope?!" Calm down don't stay like this don't move don't turn around just ignore her for an other ten minutes like you always used to do. I closed my eyes and breathed in..1..and out..2..and in..3..and out..4.. and in..5.. and out...I turned around slowly and looked directly into the eyes of my beloved, great mother.