this can't get any worse
I didn't knew that askaban was that remote. I didn't knew that askaban lied in the middle of an ocean. I didn't knew that it's gonna be that fucking cold. So fucking damn cold. I didn't notice anything during the journey. It was cold, people were with me and pressed their wands against my head. Nothing I wouldn't be used to.
But when we arrived- hell it was freezing. My robe was wet and not only the air was cold but the dementors have this cold thing shit. I can't explain. my head is too worried about other stuff. So some aurors led me into my cell. Apparently I was guarded very good because I was so dangerous. So cool I'm not only a disappointment to the family, a traitor, a bad husband- no now I'm also a high-security prisoner. Cool.
I decided that I'm not going to lose track what day it was. At least I'm going to try. So I looked out for something like a stone I can mark the wall with. I knew this from some muggle films Marlene showed me. The prisoners in there always wore orange and also marked their walls. My thoughts were I'm going to mark every time I slept so I always knew how many days it was- and which day it was. So today was the 3. November 1981 -oh cool am 22- and tomorrow would be the 4. November 1981.
I took the stone and scratched a stroke into the wall. A very small and little one because I'm going to be here a long time. Then I started to look around a bit. The cells next to me were empty and I could see someone in a few prison cells away from me. So no one to talk to. Cool.
I sat down in one of the corners in the back. I layed my head on my knees and started thinking. This isn't a good idea when you're around things that eat your happy emotions and happiness. Although I wasn't feeling happy. But I was new and that means I was a good meal for the dementors- that's why they all showed up...
It was getting colder and colder and colder..and colder....and..colder..... I made myself as small as possible and tried to ignore all the voices in my head. I must have fallen asleep after that because I only remember opening my eyes again.
The first thing I did was doing another stroke on the wall. It was pretty late when we arrived yesterday so I was sure that it was the 4th November. I sat up and took a deep breath. At least this clothing was dry now. It was still freaking cold but that's normal when dementors are around you. My head felt full of memories, of voices and faces and it was just too much. I closed my eyes and told everyone to fuck off but it wouldn't work.
'It's your fault. It really is'. It is I know but stop telling me you piece of shit. It got cold very cold and it took me a long time until I realized that one of the dementors came closer to me. "Hi", I grinned and waved. No answer of course. It's not human being or something. This dementor opened my cell and put some big bowl in it. It looked like it was supposed to be something to eat. But it smelled like vomit and I wasn't going to try it. I just took the moldy slice of bread and sat myself back in the corner in the back.