anyone got the potions notes?
NAME GUIDE:
one-shirt-wonder = harry
the-snake = draco
friendly-neighbourhood-cryptid = fred
resident-nuisance = george
snake-whisperer = pansy
salazar-was-daddy = blaise
rons-oedipus-complex = hermione
smexy-carrot = ron
Tuesday 11:58
one-shirt-wonder:
psst
draco
the-snake:
Yh love?
one-shirt-wonder:
can you send me your notes from potions please?
i kinda blanked-
the-snake:
Yeah sure
*the-snake has sent one photo*
one-shirt-wonder:
thanks bro
the-snake:
d-
Did you just call me bro
one-shirt-wonder:
i
OH NO HERMIONE NEEDS TO ME CLIP CROOKSHANKS’ NAILS WHAT A SHAME LOVE YOU BYEEEEEE
Wednesday 10:30
friendly-neighbourhood-cryptid:
are you thinking what im thinking
resident-nuisance:
are you thinking what im thinking
resident-nuisance:
yes
friendly-neighbourhood-cryptid:
yes
resident-nuisance:
good
friendly-neighbourhood-cryptid:
good
19:23
snake-whisperer:
b
blaise
salazar-was-daddy:
yeah
snake-whisperer:
whats ‘she can choke me’ in italian?
salazar-was-daddy:
..why
snake-whisperer:
dont ask questions and you wont get answers
salazar-was-daddy:
seems legit
google translate says its ‘lei può soffocarmi’
snake-whisperer:
BITCH
CHEAP ASS I COULD HAVE USED GOOGLE MYSELF
salazar-was-daddy:
WELL THEN DO IT
IM NOT A HOE ALL THE TIME PANS
ITS NOT A PHRASE I USE OFTEN
snake-whisperer:
liar you are a hoe all the time dont try n lie to me
i
fine
but only cos youre gonna be the bestest friend ever and give me your potions notes?
salazar-was-daddy:
pansy idk how to tell you this i didnt get any notes either
snake-whisperer:
HOW
YOU ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION WTF BLAISE
IS SMTH WRONG????
YOU CAN TELL ME YOU KNOW
I WONT EVEN MAKE FUN OF YOU IF ITS DEEP OR SUM SHIT
salazar-was-daddy:
bruh chill i was just thinking thoughts n shit
snake-whisperer:
you were
‘thinking thoughts’
salazar-was-daddy:
yes
snake-whisperer:
ok
salazar-was-daddy:
ok
20:22
resident-nuisance:
mcg in place?
friendly-neighbourhood-cryptid:
yes
chair in place?
resident-nuisance:
affirmative
friendly-neighbourhood-cryptid:
shes not gonna know what hit her
Friday 12:42
one-shirt-wonder:
guys
rons-oedipus-complex:
What's up harry?
one-shirt-wonder:
fred and george introduced mcg to a muggle wheelie chair
she cant stop wheeling everywhere
its
its like the purge
smexy-carrot:
oh my god
never thought this day would come
rons-oedipus-complex:
I agree ronald
She's lost it
smexy-carrot:
i heard she rides it about the castle
detentions are much easier to hand out on wheels…
one-shirt-wonder:
shit shes coming
wish me luck yall
rons-oedipus-complex:
Surely she wouldn't give you detention if you're not doing anything wrong, Harry?
smexy-carrot:
hermione i'm gonna stop you right there
when is harry not doing something wrong
rons-oedipus-complex:
You have a fair point, I concede
one-shirt-wonder:
yall really dont believe in me do you
rons-oedipus-complex:
Nope
smexy-carrot:
nope
one-shirt-wonder:
yeah thats justifiable tbh
anyway do either of yosdhfjbksjhdbfksj
rons-oedipus-complex:
Harry???
smexy-carrot:
wtf
one-shirt-wonder:
sorry
mcg
had to shove yall down my pants real quick
rons-oedipus-complex:
Harry I-
smexy-carrot:
well at least hes accurate
one-shirt-wonder:
..dont tell draco he wont let me hear the end of it
rons-oedipus-complex:
Wouldn't dream of it :))
one-shirt-wonder:
hermione that text sounds fucking menacing
dont think i dont know about your ungodly little friendship
rons-oedipus-complex:
Harry, I'm your best friend and he's your boyfriend, are you sure us getting along is that bad??
smexy-carrot:
Harry lemme answer this one mate
yes
youre both smart and a specific flavour of evil that can and will 100% torture harry if the need arises
one-shirt-wonder:
EXACTLY
thanks ron, couldnt have said it better myself
smexy-carrot:
always happy to be right about your misfortune and impending doom :)
15:36
one-shirt-wonder:
i have made...a terrible mistake
rons-oedipus-complex:
What a rare occurrence
What hath befallen you
one-shirt-wonder:
children
rons-oedipus-complex:
Ahh, I see
That is a horrible fate
one-shirt-wonder:
yes very much so
i have my first one on sunday
rons-oedipus-complex:
Harry I need more info
Harry the way you phrased it made it sound like you were pregnant
Harry babies are gross you can’t be pregnant
Harry why does Sunday bring children
one-shirt-wonder:
mione you sound so panicked and that makes me-
what’s the word?
oh yes.
incredibly happy
rons-oedipus-complex:
Harry you still haven’t explained the children
Why the children
one-shirt-wonder:
because i have my first one on sunday
rons-oedipus-complex:
What does that mean Harry
one-shirt-wonder:
well
uhh
there is a child
her name is polina
she’s very scary
rons-oedipus-complex:
I see…
one-shirt-wonder:
i had a dream about her last night
she was mean
12 year-olds aren’t meant to be mean
rons-oedipus-complex:
They’re all mean Harry
That is children
one-shirt-wonder:
to answer your question i agreed to tutor her
im scared of her
rons-oedipus-complex:
Is she one of those Russian transfers?
one-shirt-wonder:
yeah
she wanted to add her friend too and i had to decline cos goddammit one child is scary enough
rons-oedipus-complex:
A wise decision
one-shirt-wonder:
shes a gymnast
shes 12
she scares me
rons-oedipus-complex:
That is actually terrifying-
one-shirt-wonder:
she always looks me in the eyes when i talk mione its unnerving
rons-oedipus-complex:
Lol have fun with that
one-shirt-wonder:
wooooow very helpful youre such a good best friend
rons-oedipus-complex:
Idk what to tell you children always fill me with existential dread and doubt
I ran into some third-year Ravenclaws in the library a few days ago and just turned around and left
They’re terrifying
one-shirt-wonder:
rip u i guess
Saturday 21:29
salazar-was-daddy:
I recently found out one of my closest friends doesn’t have a daddy kink
True betrayal
snake-whisperer:
are- are you reverse kink-shaming someone?
salazar-was-daddy:
Yes absolutely
Honestly i kinda just assumed they had a daddy kink cos it kinda comes hand in hand with all their other stuff-
AND THEY DON’T?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?
snake-whisperer:
is it a ‘with some persuasion they may gain a daddy kink’ or a ‘hard never gonna happen’ type situation?
salazar-was-daddy:
Probably never gonna happen tbh i’ve already accidentally exposed them to so much-
Pansy do you have a daddy kink.
snake-whisperer:
oh btw did u end up getting those potions notes? cos Draco sent me them if u need them
salazar-was-daddy:
YOU’RE DODGING THE QUESTION
snake-whisperer:
I don’t remember you asking a question
You must not have asked one
salazar-was-daddy:
Ok lemme add the question mark-
Pansy do you have a daddy kink?
snake-whisperer:
so uh anyway yh it was rly funny turns out Draco is like the only person who got any notes in Potions? like everyone was just not listening or smth lol
salazar-was-daddy:
OH MY GOD
YOU DO
snake-whisperer:
like isn’t that weird u would’ve thought at least one other person would have some notes but no
salazar-was-daddy:
I LOVE YOU
YESS
snake-whisperer:
OK LISTEN I HAVE DADDY ISSUES HOW COULD I NOT
salazar-was-daddy:
I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT
snake-whisperer:
blaise if you tell draco about this i swear to fuck-
salazar-was-daddy:
I won’t :)
snake-whisperer:
blaise i know where you live.
im sure one of ur dorm mates would have no qualms with poisoning you
salazar-was-daddy:
Oh pansy
Don’t you see?
He already knows
snake-whisperer:
BLAISE YOU LITTLE SHIT-
*snake-whisperer has blocked salazar-was-daddy*
salazar-was-daddy:
pussy [error: message not sent]
21:41
the-snake:
Blaise.
salazar-was-daddy:
Draco.
the-snake:
Good work