u done the charms essay?
NAME GUIDE:
one-shirt-wonder = harry
rons-oedipus-complex = hermione
the-snake = draco
snake-whisperer = pansy
salazar-was-daddy = blaise
smexy-carrot = ron
shreks-illegitimate-child = theo
Sunday 13:50
one-shirt-wonder:
hermione ohhh my god look what draco said!!!!!
*one-shirt-wonder has sent one photo*
HE'S LITERALLY FLIRTING WITH ME RIGHT?????
rons-oedipus-complex:
He's-
He's literally talking about killing you Harry
one-shirt-wonder:
BUT HE'S JOKINGGGG
at least- i think so?
BUT STILL
JOKING IS TEASING
AND TEASING IS FLIRTING
rons-oedipus-complex:
I
Sure Harry
Of course he's flirting with you
He’s kind of your boyfriend...
one-shirt-wonder:
ugh he's so into me god 🙄
rons-oedipus-complex:
I'll just..leave you to it then
13:51
the-snake:
Shit pans are death threats flirting?
snake-whisperer:
...uhhh
for u? id say so yes
Monday 02:12
one-shirt-wonder:
so i guess my real question is-
peas: small potatoes or potatoes: big peas?
the-snake:
Potter it's 2am and i hate everything about that statement
Go the fuck to sleep
one-shirt-wonder:
BUT DRACO
THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW
the-snake:
I
How the fuck am I meant to know?
one-shirt-wonder:
i don't know you're always talking about how you're so smart and all that
figured you would be one of the first to realise the government is lying to us about peas
or potatoes
depending on which they really are
the-snake:
Harry I swear to god if you say anything more about the government hiding the truth about potatoes and/or peas I am breaking up with you
Now.
Have you written the essay due on Wednesday for charms?
one-shirt-wonder:
oh yeah which reminds me did you want to go ice skating on Thursday? it's set to snow again then and i know how you love getting your skates out
the-snake:
HARRY ANSWER THE GOD-DIDDLY-DAMN QUESTION
one-shirt-wonder:
uhhh
i'll do it tomorrow? mione might be able to help me hopefully
the-snake:
Okay we both know Hermione is going to be busy tomorrow with weasley so meet me in the library after class and we can go over it together I guess
one-shirt-wonder:
AWWWWW
DRACOOOOO
YOURE SO NICE TO ME AWWWW
the-snake:
Don't worry I'm reconsidering the offer
one-shirt-wonder:
AW OF COURSE THIS WILL BE SO FUN AWWW
you love me really you arse
the-snake:
Really? don't remember saying anything of the sort
05:29
the-snake:
PANSY
PANS
I AM UPSET
I AM OFFENDED
I HAVE BEEN SMEARED THIS IS A SMEAR
snake-whisperer:
...what happened draco
the-snake:
The rude spotify bot gave me a 24/100
snake-whisperer:
draco
I fucking cant
the-snake:
What?????? Come on you know my music taste is impeccable
snake-whisperer:
draco do u expect me to ignore the fact that i can always see you listening to arctic monkeys on spotify friends?
the-snake:
Excuse me there is nothing wrong with that I happen to enjoy their music very much
snake-whisperer:
ITS ALL ABOUT SEX DRACO
ALL
ABOUT
SEX
the-snake:
I am leaving this conversation pansy I do not wish to be perceived
snake-whisperer:
yh go talk to your boyfriend you insufferable arse
the-snake:
Maybe I will :(
snake-whisperer:
love you too </3
the-snake:
I despise you
snake-whisperer:
BYEEEEEEEEE
07:36
power throuple
one-shirt-wonder:
psst
hey guys
I WAS A GIRL IN THE VILLAGE
smexy-carrot:
DOIN ALRIGHT
one-shirt-wonder:
THEN I BECAME A PRINCESS OVERNIGHT
smexy-carrot:
NOW I GOTTA FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT RIGHT
one-shirt-wonder:
ALL TOGETHER NOW
rons-oedipus-complex:
You guys are children
smexy-carrot:
SO MUCH TO LEARN AND SEE
one-shirt-wonder:
SO MUCH TO LEARN AND SEE
rons-oedipus-complex:
...so anyway which of you haven’t done the charms essay yet
12:42
the-snake:
Oi Blaise
Help me mess with Theo
Just pretend he isn’t there in the chat
salazar-was-daddy:
I got you I got you
Let’s do this shit
12:43
salazar-was-daddy:
Psst
Pansy
snake-whisperer:
what now
salazar-was-daddy:
You know the drill
snake-whisperer:
FUCK YEAH
12:43
someone pls poison draco already
salazar-was-daddy:
Oi oi, we still on for drinks on Saturday?
the-snake:
Yeah, do you guys mind if I bring Harry?
snake-whisperer:
we all knew u were going to bring him anyway Draco
salazar-was-daddy:
Of course not, looking forward to grilling him later then
the-snake:
BLAISE NO
salazar-was-daddy:
BLAISE YES
snake-whisperer:
BLAISE YES
shreks-illegitimate-child:
Hey, have any of you written that charms essay yet?
salazar-was-daddy:
So I guess the real question is now that we have potter….whatever shall we do to pass the time?
the-snake:
TALK BLAISE
WE’LL TALK
shreks-illegitimate-child:
Guys?
salazar-was-daddy:
Hmm….i don't buy it
Pans are you thinking what i'm thinking?
snake-whisperer:
definitely
shreks-illegitimate-child:
Hellloooo?????
salazar-was-daddy:
VERITASERUM IN THE FIREWHISKEY
snake-whisperer:
VERITASERUM IN THE FIREWHISKEY
the-snake:
I
No
Absolutely not
You are not drugging my boyfriend
shreks-illegitimate-child:
GUYS?????????
salazar-was-daddy:
You know what draco, you’re right
I think we need a second opinion on this
snake-whisperer:
yeah blaise i agree
OI THEO WHERE ARE YOU
shreks-illegitimate-child:
Im literally right here im so confused
the-snake:
GUYS WHERE’S THEO??????
DID YOU FUCKING KILL HIM
snake-whisperer:
yes we need him here he would 100% agree with us
shreks-illegitimate-child:
IM
RIGHT
HERE
snake-whisperer:
he was in the library last i saw him idk..
salazar-was-daddy:
Oh my god has he gone missing??????
He's never without his phone
shreks-illegitimate-child:
i'm gonna go write the charms essay while y’all work through this mid life crisis
14:11
one-shirt-wonder:
draco
draco
DRACO
the-snake:
What happened
one-shirt-wonder:
i wanted attention
byeee
15:58
one-shirt-wonder:
ron
mate
oi
smexy-carrot:
What’s up
one-shirt-wonder:
i was thinking…
if bread had a revolution
what would happen
smexy-carrot:
Bread?????
one-shirt-wonder:
yes
bread
smexy-carrot:
Well shit
Uhhh
Extinction of the human race i’d imagine
one-shirt-wonder:
RIGHT????
BREAD IS PROBABLY SO MAD AT US
smexy-carrot:
BUT HARRY
YOU’RE MISSING THE BIG PICTURE HERE
HOW WOULD IT REVOLT
one-shirt-wonder:
UHH SHIT BRO
EATING US????
smexy-carrot:
HOLY FUCK YOU’RE RIGHT
BREAD WOULD TAKE REVENGE BY EATING US
one-shirt-wonder:
SHOULD WE BE GETTING PREPARED FOR THIS????
smexy-carrot:
I THINK WE SHOULD
IT COULD HAPPEN ANY MOMENT
one-shirt-wonder:
BUT RON
WHAT IF
WHAT IF WE ATE THE BREAD BEFORE IT ATE US
smexy-carrot:
FUCK
IT MIGHT WORK
IT JUST MIGHT WORK
one-shirt-wonder:
phew
smexy-carrot:
Well that’s another crisis averted
one-shirt-wonder:
yeah thats good thats good
smexy-carrot:
So uh
Have you done the charms essay?
one-shirt-wonder:
ron dont do this to me
..have you?
smexy-carrot:
Honestly? Not sure if i have
one-shirt-wonder:
h-
how are you not sure
smexy-carrot:
Idk man im just not
Let me live my life
one-shirt-wonder:
i vibe with that i get you
smexy-carrot:
Alright mate i'm gonna go get a snack
Talk to you later
one-shirt-wonder:
good idea
get ahead of em
18:24
one-shirt-wonder:
mione
draco and i wrote the charms essay
rons-oedipus-complex:
YESS
FUCK YEAH
I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO THREATEN YOU
Getting you guys together was the best thing I ever did
one-shirt-wonder:
i
mione wtf is you sayin
rons-oedipus-complex:
I mean
Come on we all know I had a major hand in you two
And Pansy of course
Pansy helped a lot
one-shirt-wonder:
i fuckign
wat
18:26
one-shirt-wonder:
DRACO
DRACO
the-snake:
Do you want attention again is this it
one-shirt-wonder:
NO
HERMIONE SAID SHE AND PANSY ARE THE REASON WE GOT TOGETHER
WHAT
the-snake:
I
WELL
KINDA????
one-shirt-wonder:
DRACO WHAT
YOU NEVER TOLD ME THIS
the-snake:
I MEAN
HARRY COME ON
PANSY WAS THE ONE THAT HELPED ME REALISE I DIDN’T WANT TO MURDER YOU
AND I AM SO SURE HERMIONE MADE YOU GET THE IDEA INTO YOUR THICK SKULL TO ASK ME TO COME WITH YOU TO HOGSMEADE THAT WEEKEND
one-shirt-wonder:
NONONONONO DRACO I OBJECT
the-snake:
OH SO YOU’RE SAYING YOU WOULD HAVE EVER MADE A MOVE IF HERMIONE HADN’T TOLD YOU TO FIRST????
18:30
one-shirt-wonder:
HERMIONE HOLY SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT
rons-oedipus-complex:
Damn right I am
Now you guys need to go out cos Ron and I are busy this weekend
Ask him to do something cute together
18:31
one-shirt-wonder:
i
well
well i
the-snake:
Yeah
one-shirt-wonder:
so...hogsmeade this weekend?
the-snake:
Did hermione tell you to say that
one-shirt-wonder:
no
well-
the-snake:
I KNEW IT
one-shirt-wonder:
SHE JUST SAID WE SHOULD GO OUT TOGETHER AGAIN SOON LAY OFF MY CASE