Chapter 4
He didn’t know what time it was, but he had the sun in his eyes, and he could faintly hear some people talking in the hallways so he thought it would be around the start of breakfast. He didn’t go down to the Greathall though. He decided to go back to his room so that he could get the books he needed for his classes and after that he just went straight to his first class. He didn’t feel like eating anything and he should starve and die anyway so why not start already.
He knew that the first class would be bad since it would be potions and the teacher always made sure that the people sat in the right seats. Those seats were made at the start of the beginning of the year, so he sat with James. James that didn’t want to talk to him. James that when he got to the class without even looking at him. Even the teacher ignored him, and James just started to make the potion and Sirius was happy because that meant that he didn’t have to stand up and he wasn’t sure he even could if he had to.
The rest of the day was much like the first class, with the teachers ignoring him and his friends never looking at him but almost trying to glimpse over to him which he didn’t understand but also didn’t feel well enough to figure out why.
He felt like he was floating but still like he was stuck. He didn’t know anymore the only thing he knew was that he didn’t eat and that he didn’t feel the hunger that normally came, which he saw as a sign to continue.
After his last class he wanted to try and talk to James but as soon as he tries walking over to him it was like something was holding him back and maybe it was a spell that James had cast so that he wouldn’t have to yell at him again. Maybe it was just his body that wasn’t ready to feel more rejection again this soon but no matter what it was he ended up walking away and walking to the astronomy tower to try and make sense of everything that happened that day.
Except that when he finally got to the top, he saw Remus that had followed him but was still ignoring him like he was just a ghost, but before Sirius could do anything or say something Remus sat down on the edge of the tower and started crying his heart out.
Sirius could faintly hear him muttering some words he said but he didn’t understand what he meant. Remus was almost just repeating the same thing over and over again and at some point he could hear Remus saying ‘why’ and ‘why him’ except Sirius couldn’t hear a name if Remus was even saying one.
Sirius wanted to try and comfort Remus, but he didn’t think Remus would be all that happy with him following him up here even if he thought he went up there to be alone in the first place but then again maybe Remus would just yell at him without trying to let him get to tell his side of the story.
In the end Sirius just left, even after he thought he heard his name? maybe he was hallucinating things but they had never been that realistic before but then again he hadn’t tried having nobody to help him like now.