Seul
“We are gathered here today to mourn the terrible loss of Frank Longbottom—a boy gone too soon,” Pope Jeremy Allen White, (A/N: *giggles wildly*) head of the Alpha Sigma Church, began solemnly. He was speaking from a podium at the head of the cafeteria in the Sigma Training Centre, the sound of violent sobbing echoing from the front row.
The hall was decorated with black banners and wooden pews, a mahogany coffin set up behind the Pope with a wreath of purple and yellow flowers lain on top of it. It looked awfully like the Alpha Sigma Church, but at least it was less full. Only about fifteen people had actually bothered to show up—not that there were many people invited because this was Frank Longbottom’s funeral service. As it turns out, Siriussy had tripped over his fucking corpse last night. Yippee!
Seeing as though Siriussy had been the one to discover Frank’s body, he was forced to sit just a row back from Frank’s small family, which was honestly torture. He’d been their only kid and the mother was not at all holding it together. There weren’t even many extended family members in attendance. Siriussy saw who he presumed were Frank’s aunt and uncle, but, really, four people was a sad turnout. He wondered if Frank had ever had more family and something had happened to them, or if this had always been it.
“Ma’am?” Pope Jeremy Allen White was now addressing the woman aggressively crying in front of him. He’d just called for five minutes of silent prayers for Frank’s soul and this woman was still gasping for air as if she were drowning in her grief. “Would you mind…crying after our prayers have been sent? It’s a bit distracting.”
Siriussy stopped paying attention after that, choosing to, rather, pretend to pray while thinking about the shitty situation Frank’s death had left him in.
It was difficult to get to problem-solving, though. The image of Frank’s blue lips and sunken cheeks persisted in the front of Siriussy’s mind as he closed his eyes and attempted to just think .
Frank had been poisoned according to the autopsy, and that terrified Siriussy. His body had experienced rigour mortis, leaving him stiff as a board…
The poison he’d consumed likely took an hour or so of excruciating pain to finally kill Frank. He was on his way to the infirmary when he finally collapsed…
It could’ve been anyone in this room. The person who poisoned Frank could be sitting right next to Siriussy—or behind him—and they could be planning to target Siriussy next—
No.
Siriussy needed to stop.
This whole situation was terrible, but he needed to think rationally about the things he knew were definite: the facts. Siriussy needed to lay out the facts. Jame had been kidnapped, but Edgylus, Remu, and Lily were helping Siriussy find him. Frank was now dead, meaning it would be Snarp and Siriussy in the government, seeing as though Jame was MIA.
Oh, and there was a war on. One of which Siriussy very well may be on the losing side of. Not that The Order was a bad organisation, nor did Siriussy disagree with their opinions…but Tom Riddle, head of SAB City, was the most powerful and influential being on this Earth ! How were a bunch of teenagers supposed to defeat his armies and weapons and control over the entire city? They weren’t. And Siriussy was starting to regret his decision to join up…
But he was in love with Jame Fleaman Potter and they would end this war. Together.
All of a sudden the prayer time was over and Pope Jeremy Allen White was calling everyone to attention, explaining that it was now time for the reception and giving directions as to where to go for food, but Siriussy didn’t bother listening. He had matters to attend to for the sake of his boyfriend. He would not sleep until Jame was returned safely into his arms because Siriussy would be damned if he didn’t get to snog that boy senseless before the world changed as they knew it. (A/N: YES YOU GO GET ‘EM BABYGIRL!)
So he slipped out through the foyer, leaving the Sigma Training Centre behind to hop onto a train to Alpha Square. He was going to see Edgylus, Remu, and Lily and together they were going to see Siriussy’s demands into fruition because Jame and Siriussy were going to kiss before this war ended and that was non-negotiable.
Edgylus was about three seconds away from pitching himself out of his third-story window. He was dressed in a tuxedo, specifically tailored to his body, making it all too comfortable for how much he struggled to regulate his breathing. The room was definitely spinning too, no doubt. There was probably some sort of earthquake happening. Edgylus was probably too out of it to properly register the shaking, but his vision was blurring enough for him to know .
He tugged at his bowtie slightly, standing in front of his full-length mirror, but it was sort of pointless. He couldn’t exactly see . Everything was slightly glassy, as if he were looking through a fishbowl, but…but he wasn’t .
Edgylus turned on his heel and stumbled back over to his bed, falling onto it gracelessly. He tried to take a deep breath, but struggled to fill his lungs. He tried to focus on a spot in the room, really see it, but couldn’t get his eyes to focus. Something warm caressed his icy cheek and Edgylus imagined it was Remu’s calloused hand, brushing away his life, leaving only his dreams—the nice ones.
Edgylus closed his grey eyes and let himself believe that Remu was holding him and pushing his slender fingers through his perfectly coiffed curls, done specifically for the wedding—only Edgylus wasn’t going to the wedding in his mind, he was just staying in his bed, in Remu’s arms, safe and sound in the only place that’s ever felt like home. And Remu would hum an old hymn that his mother would sing to him as a young pup while Edgylus smiled up at him, a dreamlike quality to every moment they spent together because they were still so young and in love and life is sweet when you find the right person to spend it with.
But when Edgylus could finally breathe again and could finally open his eyes and see his surroundings, all that was waiting for him were dreary off-white walls and beat-up, grey floorboards. Outside, a raindrop hit Edgylus’ window pane and thunder rolled in the distance. Downstairs, Edgylus could make out his mother’s shrill instructions to the servants. The world did not possess the honey glow of Edgylus’ dreams. It was dreary and grey and awful. Edgylus could not hang onto the warmth he’d conjured with his image of Remu. Edgylus was now cold, the chill in his room cutting bone-deep and lingering like the smell of smoke; lingering like the smell of Remu on his bedsheets.
Edgylus was lonely in a cold, dark house, but at least he could now breathe.
(A/N: Ms Juice where the FUCK did that come from???? The pits of fucking HELL????? It feels like I hate my characters sometimes when I’m rereading.)
Siriussy arrived at Alpha Square about ten minutes later and hopped off of the train quickly, preparing himself for hours of work. His lessons for the day had been cancelled for the funeral, so he figured they’d work for however many hours it took to find Jame.
Siriussy had finally gotten ahold of the vocal-recognition software through some schmoozing of Professor Bunns, so he was convinced they’d figure out where his boyfriend was today . And wasn’t that exciting? Siriussy was missing him dearly.
But when Siriussy reached the street where the alleyway of the trapdoor into his childhood home was and the streets were mysteriously empty, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease. The last time streets were this empty Siriussy had been shot…but certainly that wouldn’t be happening again. Would it?
No. If the AURORs had properly caught sight of his face they’d’ve come for him long ago. No one was waiting for him behind a corner or on a roof with a gun. He wasn’t—he was not going to be shot.
Everyone must be working—it was only…it was only ten or so. Siriussy stopped under a shady awning of a shop with a ‘For Lease’ sign in the window to catch his breath. It was becoming increasingly harder to get in a good deep breath, but—he should at least get to the trapdoor before he…was he going to pass out?
No. No, he was breathing better now. Maybe he was just walking too fast. Okay, he just needed to get to his old house and work on getting Jame back. Maybe they could start back up his “therapy sessions.”
Yeah, yeah okay. He just had to walk two blocks down the street and then he was there.
Siriussy began walking again, careful not to move too quickly, not wanting to have to stop again, but after another block of not seeing…well anyone , Siriussy decided to survey his surroundings, doing a quick look around. And that’s when he saw it.
Celebrate the Marriage of Edgylus Archerous Zakk and Emma Rose Hamilton on March 10th at 10:00.
Siriussy stopped.
What…?
He gaped as he read the sign again and again.
Edgylus. Married.
What?
Siriussy kept his eyes on the sign as he turned his body around, making his way back to the train station. There was no way in Sigma Merlin’s Balls that Siriussy was going to his old house while there was a wedding ! Especially Edgy’s.
Edgylus is getting married. Holy shit. Siriussy could hardly believe it. In fact, he couldn’t believe it. How did Remu take this news? This obviously wasn’t a loving marriage, Edgylus was gay as the day was long, but Emma…
Siriussy definitely recognised that name…
She was probably queer as well if Siriussy could recognise her name. He didn’t associate himself with obscure Alphas unless they were queer.
So a beard? But then why wouldn’t he mention it to his own brother?
Whatever. Siriussy couldn’t find it in himself to care. He just wanted to leave now. If they weren’t going to find Jame today, then he wanted to drown himself in his sorrows with a nice pint of Ice Cream from BetaMart.
So Siriussy boarded the next training to the Sigma Training Centre, leaving his brother to his wedding, on his own way to sugar-coated tears.
They would find Jame tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, the next day. And if not the next day, the day after that and so long and so forth.
The point was, they would find Jame. That was a fact. (A/N: but is it *raises eyebrow*)
Edgylus Archer Zakk was three minutes out from the rest of his melancholy life. He would be tied to this woman until one of them died and he didn’t even have Remu anymore. That was probably the worst part. Remu was gone and he was getting married to a woman who he had zero relations with and hardly knew and that was going to be the rest of his life. The Order would lose the war and Edgylus would be exempt from punishment because of his position in society and Remu would be killed, but it wouldn’t matter anyways, seeing as though they won’t have spoken since their break-up and Edgylus won’t have even heard of his death until twenty years down the line when Siriussy finally speaks to him again, having been exempt himself due to the overwhelming lack of Sigmas, and then he’ll have to relive the pain and grief that he is experiencing right now, only then Remu will be dead and now Remu is just painfully out of reach and—and—and…
The orchestra began playing a steady beat and the endless guests stood from their chairs in front of the arch Edgylus was vaguely aware that he was standing under. The instruments felt like a countdown. A countdown to the end.
Ten…nine…
Emma appeared at the painfully long aisle in a stunning white dress, her brown hair tied up in a bun. She looked uncomfortable through her plastic smile.
Eight…seven…
Emma began the journey towards Edgylus, her hand in her father’s. He was wearing his own tuxedo, looking as Alpha as ever.
Six…five…
Emma was in front of Edgylus and Pope Jeremy Allen White was giving a speech, dressed in funeral clothes. How appropriate , Edgylus thought, staring blankly into Emma’s brown eyes, seeing no glow, feeling no warmth.
Four…three…
The speech was nearly over and Emma’s lips were pursed, eyebrows furrowed slightly. Deep in thought.
Two…
“Speak now or forever hold your peace.” The room held its breath and Edgylus prayed someone would save him. Remu, please.
One…
“You may now kiss the bride.” There was no passion behind their peck. There was no love in Emma’s hand on Edgylus’ bicep. Just formality and pain.
Edgylus felt a pang in his heart as he pulled away from Emma and briefly saw Remu. He wished Remu had been the one he married. Maybe then it wouldn’t hurt like this.
Edgylus spent the rest of his day drifting around the reception like a ghost at his own funeral. There were exchanges of congratulations, but Edgylus barely acknowledged them. He didn’t feel like he should be congratulated for ruining the love of a lifetime and marrying someone he didn’t even know.
Maybe he drank, maybe he ate. He probably danced with Emma, maybe his mother. He couldn’t really remember, but that was okay. He’d rather not remember this day.
The only thing he really remembered was wishing that Siriussy had come. Not that he’d been invited, but maybe if Edgylus had told him, he wouldn’t be so lonely amongst this crowd of strangers and family.
Siriussy would understand.
But Siriussy wasn’t there and Edgylus was alone amidst a celebration of himself. Everyone was there for him, but no one was there for him.
Emma seemed to be interacting with everyone enough for the both of them. She must’ve been outgoing. Edgylus wouldn’t know, he’d only met the bird once. But luckily she was interesting enough for Edgylus to slip out early and back into his room, leaving the wedding festivities to the lower portion of 21 Grimace Shake Lane.
When he was in his room, greyed, wooden door shut and the lock turned, Edgylus sat in the darkness, on a soft bed that hardly felt like his own, and let the tears fall once again. This time he didn’t try to pretend that he’d be okay. Because he knew he wouldn’t be.
He was abandoned and lost to a world that idolised his family and fortune. No one would ever know him again. Without Remu, without Siriussy, who would be able to call him by a nickname, or be a part of his mind? Nothing could be forever, but they had felt like constants who would never be shaken from their perches in the corners of Edgylus’ mind. Now they’d willingly stepped down, leaving Edgylus with unfamiliar cold spots where their warmth had once been.
If you had asked Edgylus what flavour his life had been a month ago, he’d probably have said it was sweet honey mixed with the bitter aftertaste of cigarettes. Now? Life was flavourless and moulded at the edges. And Edgylus is a starving man, forced to shovel it down his dry throat.
Would it ever get better? Maybe three days ago Edgylus would hope so. Know so, even. But now?
Edgylus didn’t think it’d ever get better.
Not without Remu.