Marié?!
The thing about Edgylus Zakk was he was a weak, weak man. Tiny too. Well, that had nothing to do with anything; perchance.
Edgylus was weak and very easily convinced, especially by his conspiratorial brother (who was almost always up to something; there was a reason Walburger abused him). So that is why he was now standing before a traitorous ginger.
“C’mon, Lily, you and Jame are friends, yeah?” Sirius pleaded. Edgylus honestly could not believe that his idiotic brother was genuinely asking this carrot top for assistance in his efforts of getting his boyfriend back from his kidnappers…what was even going on here anyways?
“No, we are not. I hate him,” Lily deadpanned, dead serious.
“I knew gingers didn’t have souls, but damn ,” Edgylus muttered to himself, only half-registering the fact that he’d said it outloud.
“ What did you just say?” Lily snapped her attention to the tiny emo, narrowing her emerald eyes at him.
Edgylus hesitated for a moment. Shit, did I say that to her face? But fuck it, he could use this. “I mean, yeah, you’re a soulless ginger, but my brother here has just lost his boyfriend, but it’s possible to get him back. You’re just proving the science behind gingers being sub-human.” (A/N: You guys, I promise I am ginger and this is also not bullying, it is satire. Please do not take it seriously because it’s just an ongoing bit, okay? Love you gingers <3)
“Fuck you! And just for that, I’ll help ,” Lily growled.
Women .
To say Jame was scared would be a bit of an overstatement. He was living the lap of luxury. No, he did not know where he was, or exactly why he’d been taken away from the hospital—and it wasn’t even a violent “kill the revolution and take war prisoners,” in fact, it seemed as though the people who had taken him had taken only Jame and didn’t seem to even be working for the government.
But either way, he was being treated to anything he could wish for. The only catch was he had to eat dinner with this girl, LeNussy Cockwise, every night. So far he’d eaten three meals with her.
The only weird part about all of this—minus being kidnapped for seemingly no reason—was Jame was required to answer with “I do,” or “I do not,” when asked yes or no questions. Bit of an odd request, if Jame says so himself, but not too absurd. Maybe yes and no felt too informal for these Richie McRichsters? Jame wasn’t one to ask questions.
It was meal number four with LeNussy when things went awry. When she walked into Jame’s room, so did…a number of people. One of whom Jame recognised as the man who’d kidnapped him.
That man approached Jame, hand outstretched. “Cunter Cockwise.”
“Jame Potter.” Jame shook his hand wearily.
“Oh, I know that, silly! I’ve been watching you.” The man smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Jame quickly retracted his hand, strangely nervous.
“C’mon, Dad, don’t scare my husband,” LeNussy exclaimed, rushing between them and looping her arm through Jame’s.
“I—what?” Husband? If Jame was anyone’s husband, he was Siriussy’s. Not LeNussy’s . What was going on here? How did he not remember getting married?
“Yeah, like how we were married last night? You said ‘I do’ and everything,” LeNussy giggled. “You’re so forgetful, Baby.”
Baby. No. No . Jame needed to get out here. He was in love with Siriussy, not this psycho.
“I’m sorry, but…what’s going on?” Jame knew it was against his best interests to question this, but he was a bit too distraught to care.
“LeNussy, dear, I’m going to borrow your husband for a minute,” Cunter Cockwise announced, dragging Jame away from the only person he actually knew in this room. Great Sigmas, why were there so many angry men at this party?
“Look, kid, you’re going to be my daughter’s husband, or else I compromise the Order. I have all the insider information I need to end this war in favour of the government,” Cunter hissed, grip on Jame’s forearm tightening. “I will personally shoot you if you mention any of this to my sweet LeNussy.”
“But—why me?” None of this made any sense. Why would someone with endless information on the Order not turn it all in for riches beyond belief and global reverence? Why would he hold it against one person, merely requesting Jame be his daughter’s husband? This made no sense.
“My daughter…I can’t believe you don’t remember her,” Cunter sighed, shaking his head slightly. “She—you two met when you were younger, probably around thirteen? It was an exchange programme for Alpha children to see what life would be like if they acted up. Kind of like fear conditioning. But she came back absolutely gushing of one Jame Potter, so ever since then, I’ve gathered information on you, and now I’ve gathered you for her.”
“But why?” Jame was scared. This family was crazy. And also he felt a bit bad. He definitely did not remember LeNussy. In fact, he’d forgotten about Alpha pup fear conditioning camps to begin with. It was a rather nasty concept.
“Mr. Potter, are you at all familiar with the willingness to do anything for those you love?” Cunter Cockwise cocked an eyebrow at Jame. “And don’t lie, I know what kind of person you are.”
“Oh really? What kind of person am I?” Jame looked deep into Cunter Cockwise’s moustachioed face, those dark brown eyes holding not even any sort of semblance of a soul.
“ENFP-A,” the man stated curtly, unblinking.
“What?”
Cunter coughed. “Doesn’t matter. Anyways, you understand, so you must do this for me, or else everyone you love and everything you stand for will be destroyed. Womp womp.”
Jame couldn’t believe this was happening. He was Jame Fleaman Potter! Gay as the day was long! He couldn’t be legally married to a woman under his good moral conscience. Especially since he already had a handsomely sexy boyfriend who was probably on his way right that moment to become Jame’s knight in shining armour.
Siriussy was, in fact, no where near where he’d like to be at that moment. He was in Edgylus’ sex dungeon with Evans and Loopin trying to figure out where the fuck his precious Jame could possibly be while Edgylus made them a veggie platter like the mother hen he truly was.
“I just—I don’t understand, Lily.” Lily sighed as Siriussy began his senseless arguing again. “How could you not have seen anything ?”
“I told you, Siriussy, they came in through the vents and only went into Jame’s room as far as I know. I guess I could ask Poppy if she saw anything—”
“Someone else was in the Chamber when Jame was kidnapped?” Siriussy was going crazy. Surely Lily would’ve mentioned this before…
“Lily, why didn’t you say that before?” Remu finally spoke up, eyeing the ginger suspiciously.
“What’s going on?” Regulus asked, closing his closet door behind him, a massive veggie platter in his hands.
“Lily’s withholding information,” Siriussy snarled. “Only people with something to hide withhold information.”
“Look, this is all a misunderstanding—” Lily began, but Remu cut her off, wrapping his slender fingers around her wrist.
“I think we should give Lily the benefit of the doubt.” Remu looked at Edgylus. “She can be on…probation.”
Edgylus and Remu seemed to have an argument with their eyes, Siriussy desperately trying to decode what they were saying. He hated when he wasn’t included in things.
He also hated when people omitted important information. Lily knew that there had been at least one other person who could’ve witnessed Jame’s kidnapping, yet she chose to not mention that. Siriussy figured it might’ve slipped from her memory, but at the same time, she could also be stalling for time. What if Lily was behind this kidnapping?
But…why would she be? That was Siriussy’s other confusion. There was literally nothing she could gain from orchestrating the capture of one dying Sigma. Even though Jame was important to the Order, they would still be able to function without him. So was it Lily? She didn’t seem like someone who’d want to do something inconsequential if she was planning on betraying the Order.
Maybe they should give her the benefit of the doubt.
Maybe they should get some sleep as well.
Edgylus huffed a dejected sigh, drawing Siriussy’s attentions away from his own thoughts—thankfully too, Siriussy probably would’ve spiralled into thinking he was the traitor himself. “...fine. Lily, today’s your lucky day.”
“I promise, Edgylus—”
“Zakk,” Edgylus corrected coldly.
“...Zakk. I—I promise that I didn’t mean to leave any details out and—I will do whatever I can to help you all get Jame back,” Lily insisted, whipping her head back and forth rather nervously. “Okay?”
She worried her bottom lip between her teeth, gnawing away while Edgylus glared with those dead grey eyes.
“Sure you will.” Edgylus shook his head to himself. “Sure.”