Better Ridiculous Than Boring (Drabbles)

Hermione had promised herself that she wouldn’t interfere. She would not overstep. She had watched from an appropriate distance as Astoria chose foods Hermione knew Malfoy hated for the reception dinner. The bridesmaids were in pink, a colour that reminded him of Umbridge. People he didn’t like were hired to play string instruments as the wedding party processed down the aisle. 

She had known the flowers would be a step too far. She had known as soon as she walked out into the Manor gardens and had seen the red roses that covered every available surface. She had promised herself, though. She would not overstep. She would not interfere. 

She almost immediately interfered once Malfoy was outside. He left the building with only a brief glance at the string quartet. If anyone had blinked, they would have missed the disgust that crossed his face as he realised Cormac McLaggen was playing the cello. Hermione didn’t miss it, not when she could hardly look away from his face. It was because of that fact that she was the first to notice when he started panicking. When his ptsd reared its ugly head as he realised that there were red roses as far as the eye could see. She wasn’t sure how many people he’d told about the roses. Clearly not many, seeing as nobody had pointed out that it was a horrible idea to have them at his bloody wedding. Hermione stood up as Malfoy closed his eyes, visibly beginning to occlude, physically wrenching away his rising panic. She hid her charm behind the fakest sounding cough anyone had ever done, and quickly assessed the gardens, making sure she hadn’t missed anything. Satisfied, she retook her seat, ignoring the other guests frowning at her. Malfoy opened his eyes and frowned at the sea of now white roses before him. He took a deep breath and walked up the aisle, joining Theo Nott at the front. The curly haired slytherin clapped him on the shoulder and whispered something in his ear. Malfoy nodded, throwing his shoulders back and straightening his jacket. Hermione smiled. 

A very powerful legilimens prodded at her brain a moment later, politely requesting entry, even if they clearly did not need to.

“ Thank you .” Narcissa Malfoy whispered. Hermione looked up to see the witch staring straight at her from her place in the front row. Hermione nodded once. Narcissa returned the expression before turning back around. 

It was a strangely long time before Astoria appeared. There were, thankfully, no more roses in her bouquet of myrtle, baby’s breath, and daisies. An oddly classic choice for a witch who preferred outspoken opulence. Perhaps it hadn’t been her decision, Hermione mused. She also walked alone, her father nowhere to be seen. For the amount of tradition weaved throughout the rest of the day so far, that surprised Hermione. There was no way he hadn’t approved of the match, not with the money and the title on offer. The man would have pureblooded grandchildren, for Merlin’s sake, what more did he want? 

She reached Malfoy, who took her hand and smiled in a way that didn’t quite reach his eyes. This was the point at which Hermione would begin to learn about pureblood marriage bonds, as she had no idea what was going to happen from there on out. She knew there was a bit before the meal and the actual bonding took place afterwards, once it was dark, but outside of that, it was new to her.

The officiant, a very old man in deep green robes, muttered a few words and a wall of magic moved out over the gardens. It tickled Hermione as it passed, covering her skin like oil. Apparently, that was that, as they were all instructed to move into the ballroom, where food would be served. She did as she was told, following the crowd inside. 

Once inside, Hermione came across her second opportunity to interfere. The wedding party were at their own table - a long, straight thing at the top of the room where they all sat on one side, facing their guests. The fact that the only people she really knew sat at that table had posed something of a challenge, but she made small talk with the strangers around her own table as best she could. The couple next to her, for example, worked at the Zabini vineyards in Italy and had been involved in the production of the wine provided for the wedding. Hermione tried not to be offended that she had been seated with people so distantly related to Malfoy and Astoria. 

Malfoy had been a vegetarian for several years. He had told her once that Greyback had brought half dead animals with him to the Manor and had eaten them alive in front of him. Apparently, that was enough to put a person off eating meat. Hermione couldn’t really blame him for that, she supposed.

Her attention was brought over to them as the mains were delivered. She’d gotten quite good at lip reading over the years, and so she watched as an elf, Pipsy, whispered urgently to Malfoy that they had exactly enough plates prepared, and so there wasn’t a second option for him. Hermione scoffed. He’d been served meat at his own wedding? That had to be a joke. She flagged down Mopsy as the elf passed her table. 

“Tell Pipsy that she can swap my meal with Malfoy’s. I chose the mushroom pasta.” She said quietly. Mopsy almost looked like she could fall over in relief.

“Miss Hermione is ever so kind, as always. The kitchens are being complete chaos trying to fix the mistake. Miss Astoria was giving us the wrong choice for Mr Draco, you see.” Mopsy said. Hermione valiantly suppressed her eye roll. 

“Bring me whatever she picked for him, I’ll have it instead. If there are any other clashes, swap those too. I think I chose all the vegetarian options? I’m not that fond of-” 

“Fish. Yes, Mopsy is remembering.” The elf finished for her. “Thank you, Miss Hermione. Mopsy thinks Miss is deserving of another Order of Merlin for saving the day like this.” She grinned, before rushing off towards the long table and an increasingly pale Pipsy. 

“How did you know? That Draco was a vegetarian?” Sophia asked her. Hermione smiled patiently. 

“I’m the ex.” She replied, taking a long sip of the woman’s truly excellent wine. 

“Salazar, am I glad to see you.” Pansy sighed as she pulled Hermione into a quick hug. The guests were beginning to drift outside as darkness fell, ready for the rest of the ceremony. “I am at my limit of these high society bitches.” 

Hermione smirked. “Are you not also a-” 

Pansy interrupted her. “Yes, yes, very clever. You know what I mean, though. They just witter on about nothing. I feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears, I’m so bored.” 

“Well, I had a very pleasant conversation with Sophia and Warren from the winery. Oh, Rowan who made the handfasting cord, too. Simon, who maintains the Manor roof tiles.” She grinned. 

Pansy snorted. “I cannot believe she sat you at the staff table. She may as well have slapped you and then put you right by the toilets. I think she’s just threatened because you’ve got a personality.” 

“Did the rest of the meal go ok?” She asked, and Pansy raised an eyebrow. 

“Was it you? That swapped plates?” Hermione nodded. “I should’ve known. Gods, Astoria pisses me off. I mean, how can you not be aware that your own fiance doesn’t eat meat? Does she seriously not care about anything or anyone other than herself?” 

“Guess not.” Hermione shrugged. “What is it that Malfoy sees in her again?” 

“Tits, I’d imagine.” Pansy replied immediately, and Hermione snorted. 

“Pansy!” 

“You’re saying it’s not true?” The slytherin raised an eyebrow, and Hermione continued to laugh. “Was always one of his favourite things about you. They’re looking lovely today, by the way.” She waved at Hermione’s general chest area appreciatively. 

“You’re unbelievable.” 

“They’re unbelievable. I will be stealing this dress from you.” Pansy smirked. The wedding party then appeared out of the house and Pansy sighed. “Duty calls. Promise you’ll come and find me later? I’m not talking to Astoria all night, I refuse.” She reached for Hermione’s hand, and Hermione nodded, squeezing lightly. 

“Promise.” 

Hermione began to get the distinct impression that things were not running according to plan. Firstly, it had been Narcissa disappearing inside the tent that the bride and groom were ensconced in prior to the ceremony. Then several elves had appeared, blinking in and out of view as they raced to fix, well, something. Theo Nott, Malfoy’s best man, was then called into the tent. Pansy then forced her way inside, and Hermione grew restless in her seat. She was also quite cold, as the night wrapped around her and the other guests. A few other people ducked inside the now quite busy tent, and Hermione stood up. She would not interfere. She would not overstep. 

She found herself standing at the end of the aisle, casting a group-wide warming charm. Several guests smiled appreciatively at her. She then flagged down Bopsy.

“What’s going on, Bopsy? People are getting cold.” She whispered to the elf. 

“Miss Astoria has left. With Mr Gregory.” Bopsy said with a grimace. “Bopsy does not think they are coming back.” 

“Wait, as in left left? With Goyle?” She frowned.

Bopsy nodded. “Miss Astoria said she couldn’t be ignoring how she was feeling. Bopsy thought it was quite unfair of Miss Astoria to be saying so this late. If Miss Astoria was being unhappy, Miss Astoria should have been saying so a very long times ago.” 

“Is Malfoy alright?” Hermione asked, glancing at the tent. 

“Mr Malfoy is talking to Ms Narcissa and Mr Malfoy’s friends. Bopsy isn’t knowing if Mr Malfoy is being happy or sad about Miss Astoria. Ms Narcissa was being very annoyed, though. Ms Narcissa is thinking this will be embarrassing because all of the guests will be laughing now.” The elf said. 

“How about you tell the guests to go back inside? Can you serve them more drinks?” Hermione suggested. The elf looked incredulous. 

“Bopsy cannot be addressing Mr Draco’s guests, Miss Hermione! It would not be right for Bopsy to be talking to witches and wizards that Bopsy isn’t knowing. Bopsy prefers to only talk to Bopsy’s friends.” 

Hermione huffed impatiently. “Then I’ll tell them to go inside. Can you organise drinks? You’ve got enough left?” 

Bopsy nodded. “Lots and lots of alcohol is being left over, Miss Hermione. Bopsy will serve Mr Draco’s guests if Miss Hermione can be telling them where to find Bopsy.” 

“I’ll let everyone know, ok? Could you also find out if Malfoy is ok for me? I know you’re very busy.” 

“Bopsy will ask the other elves. Bopsy will send one to tell Miss Hermione about Mr Draco.” 

“Thank you.” She smiled. The elf beamed back at her. 

“Miss Hermione is being Bopsy’s favourite friend. Bopsy’s very best friend.” He said, before apparating inside. 

Hermione stood, took a deep breath, brushed down her dress, and then addressed the crowd. “Excuse me, everyone? If I could have your attention?” She cast a small sonorus with her wand, just enough to make her louder than the chatter. “There has been a minor issue which we are currently addressing. It’s nothing to worry about, but it may take a little bit of time to sort, so drinks are being served inside if you would like to head back in. I appreciate it is growing chilly out here, and so we would not wish for you all to wait in the cold. All being well, we’ll get this show back on the road as soon as possible, but for now, please, enjoy yourselves.” She smiled, gesturing back towards the double doors that led into the Manor. She received a mixed response, from flat stares to grateful nods. Only one slur, which she counted as a win, considering the pureblooded demographic before her. 

“Ooh, drinks. Splendid.” Theo Nott ducked out of the tent behind her, rubbing his hands together. “You always have such wonderful ideas, Granger.” He pecked her on the cheek gently before scampering towards the doors. She frowned, shaking her head incredulously as she watched him go, several others she didn’t recognise following him out of the tent. 

“Granger, get in here.” Pansy demanded, sticking her head out of the door. “You’re required.” 

“Not at all ominous.” Hermione muttered, stepping inside the tent which was, of course, far larger on the inside than it appeared. There was a table with several abandoned wine glasses on it, recently evacuated chairs surrounding it. 

Malfoy was pacing, his previously immaculately styled hair flopping over his forehead. He’d clearly been running his hands through it. He was smiling, though. She frowned. 

“Everything ok?” She asked tentatively. Narcissa stood from her seat and reached for Hermione’s hands. 

“You, Miss Granger, have been far more generous today than we deserve. I am eternally grateful, and hope, one day, that I can repay you for it. We shall speak soon.” Narcissa promised, squeezing Hermione’s hands before gracefully leaving the tent. 

“What…?” Hermione frowned, bewildered. 

“I’ll leave you to talk. Still come and find me later, or I’ll be annoyed with you.” Pansy threatened, before also leaving the tent. 

“Malfoy, what’s going on? Bopsy said Astoria left, are you alright?” She asked, moving closer to the man. 

“Did you know that I’ve never told anyone else about the roses? Only you and my mother know why I have that reaction to them.” He said. She watched him carefully as she remembered the night he'd broken down and told her about Voldemort's fascination with the flowers in the Manor gardens. The way he liked them as red as possible, because they reminded him of all the blood he had spilled and intended to spill to further his cause. “And it wasn’t her that changed the colour earlier.” 

“I wasn’t just going to sit and watch you have a panic attack.” She replied, somewhat defensively, and he smiled. 

“You wouldn’t be capable of that, would you? Just sitting and doing nothing when you know you can help.” 

“Do you want me to apologise?” She crossed her arms.

“Granger, would you like to know why Astoria left?” He asked, sitting down on one of the chairs.

“Bopsy said she left with Goyle.”

He nodded. “She’s in love with him. That’s why her parents aren’t here, they refused to watch her marry someone she didn’t love.” 

“But why would she stay with you? If she’s in love with Goyle?”

“Sense of duty, apparently. She felt like she’d owed me.” 

“That’s ridiculous.” Hermione replied, and he smiled, despite himself. 

“She was sacrificing her own happiness because she didn’t want to see me hurt. Apparently, that’s the only type of woman I attract anymore.” He looked at her intently, and she huffed, putting the pieces together. 

“The spell this morning? Before the meal?” 

“Brightest witch of her age, ladies and gentlemen. It’s supposed to ensure fidelity within the couple, check that none of the guests are harbouring any feelings.” He replied. “When we were paired up for the marriage law, I thought you fought so hard against it because you didn’t want to marry me. That’s not true, is it?” 

“No, it’s not.” She said simply. “That’s why Astoria felt she could leave with Goyle? Because you both know that I-” She faltered. Malfoy nodded. 

“Granger, I don’t understand. Why would you work so hard to stop it? You must have known that I felt the same.” 

Hermione scoffed. “Of course I knew. Gods, you should have seen the way you looked at me.” She smiled, despite herself, and began to pace around the tent as he watched her, hands clasped. “For your entire life, Malfoy, your choices haven’t been your own. Who your friends were, where you went, who you dated. The mark, the war, all of it. Time and again, you’ve been forced down a path you wouldn’t have chosen, and I refused to let it happen again.” 

“Marrying you is the path I would have chosen.” He said softly. She nodded, willing away the tears. 

“I know. That’s why I had to stop it, because you would never have believed that it would have been the path I’d have chosen too. You would have gone to your deathbed thinking that you’d forced me, that the life we’d built together wasn’t something I would have wanted. Nobody should have to live with that sort of doubt, that sort of guilt. I couldn’t be that cruel.” He gaped at her, mouth slightly open. She ploughed on. “I wanted to give you the chance to go out and find something for yourself. Somebody that you had chosen, somebody that had chosen you right back. Because I know you, Malfoy. I know that’s important to you. You never would have believed that I really wanted you, that the law was forcing me towards something I wanted anyway, so I let you go. I gave you up. Yes, the law was archaic and wrong, a flagrant abuse of our rights, and I am so proud of the work I did to end it for those reasons, but you have to know that it was mostly for you.” 

“I was going to marry Astoria because I thought I wouldn’t get another chance. I’d already held the most beautiful witch I’ve ever seen in my hands and managed to lose her, so I should take whatever I could get. Beggars can’t be choosers.” He replied, and she scoffed. 

“Are you joking? You, a beggar?” She raised an eyebrow, and he smiled. 

“You’re going to ignore the first part of that sentence?” 

“I can if you want me to.” 

“I don’t want you to.” He stood up, cautiously moving closer to her. “I don’t deserve somebody so kind in my life. Somebody so bloody considerate, so generous. Even at my wedding to someone else, you couldn’t stop yourself from trying to fix it when it went wrong.” 

“The food thing was stupid-” She started, but he cut her off. 

“Hermione, I am attempting to bare my soul so that you’ll have me back here. Can you not interrupt me mid-flow?” He raised an eyebrow, and she promptly closed her mouth. “Thank you. As I was saying, you were nothing but kind today and I don’t deserve it. All those years ago, when you fought like hell to be rid of me, I thought you hated me. Now I see that you were trying to give me, frankly, the best gift anyone has ever or will ever give me, and I never said thank you.” 

“That’s not particularly out of character for you.” She smiled, and he huffed out a laugh. 

“Gods, I’ve missed you.” He said, and she nodded. 

“I missed you too. I know we’ve been friends, but it wasn’t the same.” 

“Distancing myself from you was more painful than being crucio’d.” He replied, and she scoffed. 

“That’s terribly dramatic.” 

“I’ve hardly even started and you know it. How about this? Every day, I compared Astoria to you and she hasn’t measured up once. I forced myself to follow through because I thought I couldn’t have you. We’ve slept together once and it was the worst night of my-” 

“I’m getting the picture.” She nodded. “Do you not want to have some time, though? I mean, you broke up with Astoria roughly half an hour ago. You were about to marry her, Malfoy.” 

“The very last thing I need is more time away from you.” He replied immediately, eyes fixed on hers. “I’d marry you right here and now if you let me.” 

She snorted. “Is swapping the bride last minute not considered gauche amongst pureblood circles?” 

In a second, he was holding her waist. “That wasn’t a no.” He pointed out. She shrugged. 

“I guess it wasn’t.” 

“You’d seriously let me do this?” 

“That’s not quite the right phrasing. I’d willingly do it with you, hand in hand, side by side?” She raised an eyebrow. “Only if you ask me properly, though.” She added with a smirk. He grinned as he knelt before her.

“Hermione Granger, I am undeservedly, unreservedly in love with you, and I think part of me maybe always has been. I have been convinced for years that you are my soulmate, and these years apart have only made me more sure. I’m sorry that I wasn’t clever enough to see the freedom you gave me for what it was, but I’ve caught up now. I want to build a future with you, a future we both want and both choose. What do you say, Granger? Will you marry me?” 

She knelt down to meet him, putting them on an equal footing before she answered. “Yes, Draco Malfoy, I will marry you.” She smiled widely, tears freely flowing. He held out his hands and helped her stand before pulling her close and kissing her soundly. It was a few moments before she realised he was crying too. 

“Are your parents free right now?” He asked as he pulled back. 

“They could probably clear their schedule for this.” She smiled.

As they exited the tent to inform the guests the wedding was back on, Hermione saw Pansy and Theo standing in the aisle. They saw Hermione and Draco’s clasped hands, and Theo huffed, rummaging around in his pocket before handing Pansy several galleons. Hermione laughed. 

“You two are the absolute worst, you know that?” Draco called. 

“You couldn’t have held off until next week? Then I would have won.” Theo whined. Pansy sidled up to Hermione and winked. 

“I was never in doubt.” She said, waving her wand and turning Hermione’s dress white. “There. Oh, and I promise I won’t steal it, either.” She grinned.