New Years
There was one thing that could make him feel down. One thing Remus wasn't counting on after the howler that followed Sirius' arrival. A red envelope Sirius left open on his bed while he was showering, "I'm sending over your stuff. They're furious Sirius. Take care, Regulus A. Black." He wasn't used to hearing Sirius' voice in his head yet, but it was something to hear his voice reading his name like that.
"It's from my darling little brother." Sirius said, "It seems they're still mad about what happened." He brushed it off as if they hadn't threatened to disown him.
"Big fight?" Remus couldn't really say much about it, it wasn't something he knew how to deal with at all.
"You could say." Sirius kept it at that. He didn't volunteer anything else, and Remus was sure not to push. He hadn't really wanted to know in the first place, he was alright with Sirius telling him, he could at least listen to him after all he'd done."Exploding snaps?"
Remus agreed, he wasn't too fond of the game, the explosions of the snaps made his mind go into alarm mode for a second each time, but if it would stray them from the family talk, he'd take it.
The day passed, easy, nice, cozy. Games and cheap thrills, exploring the castle, even visiting McGonagall's office for a cup of tea. She wasn't used to social visits from students, but seemed fine sharing an afternoon tea with them. She and Sirius talked about quidditch most of the time though, she told them about her time as a chaser for the Gryffindor team. Quite a rant about her last match against Slytherin, a match that would decide that year's Tournament winner. She went in with a winning spirit, left with a concussion, several broken ribs and a longtime grudge against the Slytherin quidditch team that remained, to this day, very fired up.
All of this seemed to have made Sirius hold her in a much higher regard than before. "But alas, it's time for dinner boys." She stood up and guided them down to the Great Hall.
It was a good day, a great day even. Sirius walked with Remus to the library after dinner to borrow some books, seeing as he had a newfound love for reading, and the writing which was also particularly difficult for him was coming along great. Sirius was all too pleased with himself about it, a spring to his step on their way to the library. Even Madam Pince seemed relaxed, quite unsettling, but relaxed. He'd borrowed a book on Magic History, Remus figured he was very much failing the class and he was quite ignorant on the subject, so it wouldn't hurt at all.
By nightfall, Sirius had put on his record player and laid on bed listening to David Bowie while Remus read a battered copy of A History of Hogwarts he borrowed from Sirius, he'd proposed that if the two of them read it, they could probably find all seven secret passageways out of Hogwarts by the time they left school, "Finally, a challenge worthy of the Marauders!" Sirius exclaimed victorious from his bed. Remus didn't realize that was going to be a marauder activity, but it was fine, something about it not staying between him and Sirius bothered him a little, but not enough to take his nose away from his book.
The chapters went by, the sun went down and Remus' eyes became worn and tired, Sirius had flicked off the music with a whip of his wand, and tossed and turned in his bed. Remus finally called it quits, put off the light from his wand and started to make himself comfortable.
He closed his eyes and heard Sirius stand from his bed, walking to his own, he peeked from between the curtains that surrounded his bed, "Still up?"
"Mhmm." Remus answered like Sirius wasn't just waiting for him to put his book down, though he hadn't turned his head away from his pillow.
"May I?" Remus sat up, he'd heard Sirius do this before, with James, secret meetings in the middle of the night, silencing charm cast after furtive steps. They were best mates, they were allowed, Remus had wondered what they went on about every time it happened, but they never seemed to acknowledge it in the light of day or wand alike. "No use casting any privacy charm, is it?"
He'd never seen Sirius' face like this, he kept looking around his eyes, on the bed-sheets, the frame, his nightgown, but not his eyes. The little light that strayed away from the moon into their little compartment was bouncing of his skin, soft, like he'd been born to be seen below the light of the moon, something Remus was destined to never fully see. "Guess not."
"I know you saw them, didn't realize until I walked out of the bathroom." The scars, Remus had almost forgot about them, wanted to forget about them, but couldn't, he pushed it to the back of his mind as much as he could, "I didn't mean for you to see them."
"I'll act like I didn't see them."
"That's not why I came."
"Oh?"
"I mean." Sirius said, like he'd lost his way, "You did see them, no reason to act like it didn't happen. It did."
"Right."
The Black heir pulled up his pants legs' up, behind both his calves, straight lines, vertical and horizontal, all scars, he let Remus see his scars, let him trace them, his hand moved on its own. "My mother's method of discipline by excellence is the Lacero curse." It was as if he'd rehearsed the words, thought about them.
"I've got scars," just as his hand had moved on it's own, his mouth seemed to have had a will of it's own. He pulled his sleeves, there were the most fresh ones, the ones he still felt.
"Did you get them at the home?" Sirius' hand seemed to have done the same. His scars were different, wild, messy, but just as haunting.
Remus didn't answer, a vague grunt with no real answer he could say aloud, something Sirius could understand.
They stayed there for a moment, two boys, their scars and an unspoken understanding that nothing that was talked about that night would be seen by the light of the sun. Something they both knew James, who came from a loving home would ever understand, he could be there for them, had been, but he would never get it like they got it.
They said nothing. Sirius fell asleep curled himself up in the foot of the bed. Remus wrapped his arms around his pillow.
...
Morning was slow, nothing to hurry about. And so were the days until the 28th, when Remus had to shake Sirius off under the excuse of a headache to go with Madam Pomfrey. Another full moon, so far he'd been lucky that they hadn't noticed between "detentions" from McGonagall and odd illnesses that he was always gone during full moons, he wondered how long it would be until they figured it out and caught him, until he was unavoidably chased by hoards with pitchforks out of Hogwarts and back into st. Edmonds, where he'd be kept until he was of age and then promptly sent out into the wild like the beast he was.
"I'm really sorry Remus, but it's for the best." Madame Pomfrey lectured him often, "If parents and ministry officers got wind of it, especially with the current climate, I don't know what we could do to keep you here." Remus wondered what the climate had to do with it, but he was used to it. Nothing he could do about it but keep it a secret.
...
"Mr. Lupin!" Sirius woke him the next day, a plate of toast with every single spread on his bedside, "You missed breakfast."
"The headache was killing me." Remus' excuse had been a massive headache, "Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let me leave." He had a huge scar on his leg, something felt a little off by his hip. He was thankful Sirius didn't have the sniffing he did, he would've caught him the second he stepped in, Remus' nose was filled with it.
"But I'm so bored without you!" Sirius complained, cuing Madam Pomfrey into the conversation.
"And you'll be bored until tomorrow Mr. Black. Remus here is a still on rest from the headache. Can't very well have him passing out in Merlin knows where in this damned labyrinth of a castle."
"Could I stay here then?" Sirius pleaded, something about sleeping alone seemed to be getting hard for him, maybe he wasn't used to it, shared a room with a brother back home of something.
"In the infirmary? Mr. Black I--"
"Please! There's three other students in the castle, and there's about twenty beds, just for tonight! So I don't leave Remus alone!" That last one struck a chord, somewhere withing the medi-witch's heart, she agreed to it. Maybe she was growing soft from age, maybe from spending so much time with Remus, maybe guilt that this might be the only time Remus would be able to have a friend fight to be by his side like this. But she agreed.
"This stays between us." She said, "If Minnie were to ever find out I swear to Godric, Helga, Rowena and Salazar himself!"
That night, Sirius took the bed next to Remus. They talked for hours and hours, until Pomfrey slipped Remus a sleeping draft and Sirius a soft warning on talking too loud on the Hospital Wing.