The Grapes of Wrath
Having everyone back at Hogwarts was a blessing. Remus and Sirius had been having the time of their lives, of course, but there was only so much they could manage to do by themselves.
"Remus!" Lily was first to catch him, "How I've missed you!" She wrapped her arms around him, he stepped back, not fond of the whole physical affection-or any kind of affection for that matter.
James and Sirius acted like they'd been away for years and thought they were dead. They truly made a giant ruckus. Told each other everything they could, Sirius didn't slip the fact that he'd slept in the hospital wing with Remus, but he did gather the four Marauders-tearing Remus from Lily- in their bedroom.
"My fellow Marauders, odd lads, weird dudes." He had a whole presentation rehearsed, Remus heard his in the shower that morning, "Give thanks to our very own Mr. Lupin!" James was totally into it, clapping at Remus like he was a celebrity, Peter was confused but played along, good old sheepish Pete. "For his great mind has brought us this!" He had a whole show, presented a mountain of candy behind him, "but that's far from it good chaps. We're not at the best part yet."
Remus was dreading this moment, something told him this would be the last moment of peace, if you could call peace whatever had been happening in his life so far, in Hogwarts.
"I present to you and you only: The Marauder's Map!" He pulled the map Remus and him had been working on over winter break. They'd manage to combine their power into creating a few spells for the map conceal the whole of Hogwarts in the parchment when you folded it, the castle was massive. And the map was very much incomplete, the outline of the most part was there, classrooms and Gryffindor Tower, they'd made little progress in the dungeons and closer to the lake for fear of getting caught.
James caught up immediately to Sirius' train of thought, "MERLIN! The mischievous potential!" Remus didn't think he'd ever heard James use a word with so many syllables, he'd only started using them properly himself since Sirius gave him the reading spell.
"And we are to thank, the good old Dudette and unknowing inspiration given by Mrs. Evans, for we have the next prank of our authorship worked out!" Sirius and Remus spent the last few days of their break planning it, researching charms and spells to make it functional. Sirius was dedicated to his craft, Remus was brought along for most of it, well he'd found the spells and how to merge them, but Sirius was the mastermind.
"Wait a moment, Evans? You mean Lily Evans?" Peter asked, "How come she give you a prank idea? She's a rule goody two-shoes, and she's friends with the Slytherin."
"Always a wise question from you little Pete," Sirius went on, Remus snickered a little at the notion of anyone calling Peter wise. And Peter scoffed and got offended at getting called little, they were all eleven-ish yeah, but he was the smaller of the bunch.
"Over Christmas," now Sirius paced the room like a guerrilla general about to give out a mission, "Remus exchanged correspondence with her, upon which she recommended Remus read a muggle novel. Sad bit of correspondence, couldn't talk about something more interesting the pair of them, but little old charming me," he pulled out a letter Lily had sent, he'd taken it off Remus, pleading that it was necessary for the prank, Remus could hear his own eyes roll, "to find such brilliance in their muggle talk."
James and Peter closed in, leaning forward to read.
He had circled a sentence, four words: "The Grapes of Wrath!"
...
Not one of the Marauders was looking forward to potions class. Remus didn't want to have to smell Snape so soon, he hadn't had enough of a break from him--one couldn't be away from him too long, life had never been that kind. James and Sirius were just always grumpy about it because it didn't come easy to them like every other class. And Peter had to be partner with Serena again.
Yet, there was one single shred of light at the end of everyone's tunnel. On Friday, the students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang would get to Hogwarts. Remus had forgotten all about that, the triwizard tournament. But seems like no one else had. Remus couldn't see why the excitement, except for the tournament, everything was going to be the same, they still had to go to class, still had to turn in homework, the only difference was that the Great Hall would be more cramped if they meant for everyone to eat together.
You could always count on Snape to be the biggest prick on the castle, he looked around at the room to make sure Lily wasn't there, hypocrite on top of a prick.
"One semester wasn't enough? It doesn't look like you have enough to buy food for yourself, so I hoped you starved off during winter." he scoffed. Mulciber was behind him, so Remus hesitated to just throw a punch.
"Not enough cleaning supplies to take the smell off?" Remus was certain it was only him who could still smell the faint ghost of their earlier prank, but he would never let him live it down.
"Who shat himself?" Sirius chimed in, "Oh, it's just you Snivellus."
"Someone open a window?" Peter was taking advantage that Serena was late, "Stinks in here." Mulciber growled at him and he moused behind James.
"We haven't even been a week. Can't you lot keep civil?" Lily finally made it into the classroom, Alexander right behind her, he didn't seem to have the conflicted look in his face he spent all of last semester with, still had his nose in a book, but that Remus could at least relate to.
Slughorn wasn't long after that.
"Don't go to your common room on tomorrow after five." Sirius whispered to Alexander, inaudible if you didn't have the wolf's senses attached to yours. They had an odd relationship, Remus figured, from what he'd told him, Alexander kept Sirius updated on what his cousins' were up to, and steered them away from him. Not really friends, Remus figured that Sirius kept him like a necessary evil. Better him that his family. Maybe something inside that weird Black mind needed to feel like he was somehow close to Slytherin, not completely letting his family down. Remus only lamented that it was with the one who could most easily find out his secrets.
...
This time they decided to witness it. As much as they could.
They had left a fruit basket in front of the Slytherin common room, round fruits, grapes mostly. Sirius had a knack for penmanship, years of training by his family, so he might or might not have forged a letter in Lily's handwriting Dear Sev, Here's a late Christmas present, I'm sorry we didn't spend it together. Love, Lily Evans. He copied it off from the one she'd sent Remus. Now it was just a matter of waiting for him to get there.
They saw a lot of people walk through, still not Snivellus yet. Both Narcissa and Bellatrix had been through, lots of students they didn't know and had never seen before. Alexander was just about to head in, he stared at the fruits basket and paused, Remus swore he stared right at them, he gasped and turned around, and finally, Mulciber, Serena and Snivellus.
"Probably mean she's coming to her senses about who the right crowds are." Snape was too giddy to feel the trap, and Mulciber seemed too caught up in an argument with Serena.
He held the basket by the wicker, hadn't touched the fruit yet.
They waited outside, snickered between them when there wasn't anyone. Counting down the seconds until a blonde fifth year Slytherin girl ran out of the common room. "What the bloody fuck!" Behind her, as the door was opened they saw it, the grapes and peaches and apples and pears all multiplying at the touch of anything--a simple enough doubling charm. They were flooding the whole common room, a fruity mess that was about to overtake the entirety of the green common room, groans of disgust and anger came through the whole dungeon, the cue to make a run for their own common room.
"That was bloody brilliant! Absolutely fantastic!" James finally let out the laugh in their bedroom.
"I think I saw Snape trip over an apple," Peter followed suit.
"Best one yet!" Sirius cheered, throwing fists in the air, "Cissy and Bella are sure to be fuming!"
Remus joined in on the laugher, he'd seen it as well, Mulciber and Serena were covered in various fruit pulps.
"All thanks to you Mr. Lupin!" Sirius punched his shoulder, he punched back--that's what you do when you get punched.