It was too early for this! Peter just had to be awakened to the sound of havoc in Queens. He can’t even go one night without having to put on the mask and monitor the city.
So, now Peter finds himself chasing a masked man in green across the rooftops of New York City. The man lands a hit on him before running again. Usually, if the criminal doesn’t stir up a lot of attention, he will let the police handle it.
Of course Mr. Green Guy manages to get himself in enough trouble for Peter to chase after him.
This is getting tiring now. Peter quickly shoots his webs, trapping the man inside it.
“Hah!” He laughs out, a little too loudly, then again he doesn’t care because he just wants to sleep.
The unknown man struggles to get out of the web’s grasp on him. Peter watches as he struggles for a few minutes before choosing to face him.
“C’mon big guy, it’s late and man I got class tomorrow.”
The man doesn’t reply, opting to still probably look at him (“probably” because he has a mask on for God’s sake! Peter can’t tell where the green man is looking).
“Look man, I’m gonna call 911 yeah?” The sun is rising now, casting a beautiful orangey glow to the city.
While the view sunrise gives is beautiful, this means that Peter is going to school on 3 hours of sleep and pure black coffee.
A few more moments of silence before the man breaks out of the webs and runs.
-
“Hey.” Matt greets, hearing that the whole group decided to just go to his apartment while he was out on patrol. (He’s ignoring the thundering heartbeat of the former Marine following him.)
“Hey Matt!” Danny waves. The kid has manners.
The rest of the group welcomes him (which is funny because that is his apartment), before taking notice of the man standing behind him.
The man who just happens to be a dead wanted man. Who also happens to be the fucking Punisher .
Immediately, Matt feels the others go tense and their body positions themselves to get ready to attack and Frank fucking Castle just stands behind him awkwardly.
“Lord,” he should probably not be saying that, “he’s not gonna fight you.”
Which is ironic considering Frank Castle is a mass murderer and a catholic boy like Matt is defending him.
“Did ya hit your head on the way here Murdock? Because if you don’t know, the Punisher is standing behind you.” Jessica hisses. Matthew can smell the alcohol in her breath.
It is way too early for this so he ignores her, leaving it to Frank to explain why he’s here.
Frank looks at him with wide eyes and a faux look of betrayal on his face as he watches Matt leave to his bedroom.
He quickly rids himself of his suit, setting it to the corner with a mental note to wash it later. He can smell all the blood and grime and whatever disgusting stuff is on it.
He takes a brief shower because he’s all sweaty and he has work today. Matt hears the others talking, hearts beating in discomfort and nervousness.
Matt steps outside while he’s buttoning his suit jacket.
“Ass move of you to just leave, Red.” Frank scoffs with no hostility behind it.
“Can’t believe I’m about to say this but, I agree with him.” Ah, this time it’s Luke who huffs out a reply.
“So.” Matt raises an eyebrow at the big group gathered in his apartment. “Everything sorted out?”
He stands next to Jess, his radar-sense giving him a view of Frank and Luke. Wow. Two buff tall guys next to each other, one who uses guns and the other who is bulletproof.
“Hold on a minute,” Danny’s voice breaks through the tense and awkward silence, “is that fucking Spiderman?”
And even Matt whips his head towards the huge window. A man who has a 360 view of everything, whips his head around is telling you something.
It’s not unusual for Matt to see Spiderman around, the two sometimes pair up together, and there were multiple instances where Peter came by for homework help. But it’s literally almost 7 AM in the morning so the kid should not be running around the city.
Jessica blinks. Like blinks. “Is he chasing a green guy or am I just drunk?”
“No, no. He’s definitely chasing some green guy.” Danny says this like it’s normal. Which it probably is. They witnessed first hand a group of wanna-be immortals hunting a dragon’s remains down, a whole alien infestation, and Matt’s dead girlfriend coming back to life. Hell, even the Punisher and the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen being friendly to each other.
Frank’s staring at them now. “Should we like? Help?”
It’s funny coming from Frank.
“Did the Punisher just say we should help Spiderman? ”
This is gonna be a long day.
-
Wade was walking through the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, chatting with Double D’s lawyer friend.
“And then Matt appears out of thin fucking air, dressed as the Masked Man and passes out on his floor!” Nelson is retelling the story of how found out Double D’s identity.
“So you didn’t just know?” Wade feels wary in civvies. The scars all over his body show but Foggy Nelson seems unbothered.
“No! And I've been his best friend for like 8 years at that point!” From the way Nelson retells the story, it makes it seem like the discovery was funny, but Deadpool’s good at reading others. He could tell that Foggy was deeply bothered by the way he had to find out. He could see it in his eyes as he talked.
How did he even find himself getting coffee with Matt’s friend? It’s a funny story.
Matt, Spidey and Wade had just gotten back from a round of patrol and had decided to crash in DD’s apartment for a little while.
Double D’s taking off his cowl and Wade is trying to patch Peter up.
And then Nelson walks in, holding a really good smelling pie in his hands. Though, he happens to walk in at the worst time ever.
Peter is bent over on the couch and Wade is helping him take off the suit from behind him.
“What the fuck.” Spills out of the lawyer's mouth.
Then Matthew is drinking a cup of tea and Frank Castle walks out from Matt’s bedroom.
“What the actual fuck.” Then Foggy ran, dropping the pie as he fled out the blind man’s apartment building.
Double D had to chase after him, desperately trying to explain that it is NOT what it looked like, that no he was not sleeping with the Punisher and that no, Deadpool and Spiderman were not fucking on his couch.
It’s funny to think that he was now chilling with the guy who had gotten a really bad first impression of him.
“Holy Christ.” Nelson drags him out of his mindless chatter. “Is that fucking Matt?”
Wade looks where the lawyer is staring, eyes wide and mouth open. Because yes, that is Matthew Murdock, running on the rooftops in broad daylight without his Daredevil suit, following Peter Parker.
His eyes quickly fall on the figure of a buff, green, maybe handsome criminal that had a group of people running after him.
He rushes past Nelson, past the crowd watching a group of vigilantes run in broad daylight. Wade remembers his manners and yells a quick goodbye to Foggy before he’s putting on his mask and following the group.
He arrives quickly (thanks to his mercenary skills, his immortality and his amazing abilities), and follows the concerning amount of people chasing after one man.
They manage to trap the man in a secluded corner. Pete’s injured badly with a stab wound and Frank Castle holds a gun in front of the man. Daredevil is ripping Jessica Jones’ scarf off her neck and tying it around his eyes.
“Why didn’t I do that before?” Matt mutters to himself.
“Because you’re a piece of shit who follows his big bad boyfriend around like a dog.” Jessica accuses and Wade’s glad to see that she’s actually sober for once.
Castle grunts. “Not his boyfriend. By the way, hi, DP.”
“Holy cow!” Rand exclaims, seemingly noticing the mercenary now.
“What’s up handsome.” The eyes of his mask crinkles into a crescent moon shape.
Cage sighs, “Please no.”
“Uh guys?” Peter questions concern laced in his voice. “Where did he go?”
Then a portal opens up.
-
Miles is currently walking to school, humming a song that was playing on his headphones when a fucking portal opens up.
He quickly shoves his mask on his face, waiting for incoming danger.
Except he’s caught by surprise when a green man pops out, running for his life as a group of like seven people chase after him.
(He had secretly hoped that it would be Gwen and the others.)
What a weird way to start the day.
Miles swiftly discards his bag and clothes, sticking them to a nearby wall and he runs after them.
He manages to grab a look at them when swinging in between buildings. He watches as the green man bumps into people and knocks them over and steals stuff at the same time.
“Hey!” Miles calls out in the manly voice he can muster up, dangling in front of the group. “Stop right there.”
He hears a loud exclamation, saying something like, “Holy shit! He’s also Spiderman.” Which he ignores thank you very much, because it reminds him of Gwen, of Peter B. Parker, of Spider-Noir and the pig and robot girl.
He takes a good look at the group. The criminal was wearing all green with the exception of gold plating in his suit. Behind him stood a man wearing a spiderman mask, a guy dressed in all red, a girl who might be slightly levitating, a big guy – like really big –, a guy holding a gun, another dude with a light up fist and finally a dude with a scarf over his eyes (how does he see in that?).
What an odd group.
He shoots a web at all of them, he won’t be putting his city in danger today.
“Oh did you really have to, Spiderman ?” The way the girl says it is harsh, his name almost mocking. The group was now stuck all together and hanging from a web in the middle of the city.
“Sorry ma’am,” Miles says politely, “gotta keep my city safe.”
“Yeah? If you want to keep your city safe, you’ll let us go right now.” The guy with the gun was sort of intimidating but then the light up fist guy breaks his web and the same portal opens up from underneath, causing the group to fall into it.
-
It’s just a normal day in Yokohama. A normal day.
Totally normal.
Chuuya is trying so hard to not punch the damn mackerel in the face! The bastard won’t stop bullying him and it’s getting on the ginger’s nerves.
“Oh~! Chibi, there’s a portal above your head.”
Oh that bastard better not be fucking with him. He takes the risk and looks up, prepared for the annoying voice to make fun of him for being so gullible.
Except, there actually is a portal.
And there’s eight people falling out of it.
“Oh fuck no.” He grunts and activates his ability. He may be a Mafia but he does not want to be associated with the suspicious death of eight individuals who fell out of the damn sky.
“Thanks! I’m-” The guy in red and blue was cut off to a gun pressed to his head.
“Shit. Guys, he’s running.” The blindfolded one says. Chuuya’s really lucky he studied English.
“Yes we can see that Murdock.”
“I can’t. ” Blindfold – Murdock – sarcastically replies.
The other’s groan. “Shut the fuck up Matthew.” Now a different dude is speaking ( observe Chuuya, he hears a voice sounding like the God in him grumble. His build, the way he holds himself, grown out hair? He’s military. Shut the fuck up Arahabaki.) and the red guy, mustache and bulky guy are running in the direction the green dude went.
Dazai interrupts him because this bastard probably got something to with this. “Now now! What’s a group of wonderful looking individuals doing here?”
Mackerel’s English is definitely way better than Chuuya’s. He doesn’t have a thick Japanese accent when speaking.
And now shitty Dazai is stroking the only girl in the group’s hands. Chanting something like, “Will you commit double suicide with me?”
She kicks him. Chuuya decides that he likes her.
“Sorry sir,” the Red-Blue guy says, “gotta go and catch this criminal.”
Then the group disappears.
-
Harry could not wait to dig into his food. He’s ignoring the looks of fear that he's receiving from others at his table. Instead he focuses all his attention on Hermione and Ron.
“‘Mione,” Ron calls, “did you finish the DADA homework?”
Harry’s luck is so bad, all their DADA teachers are either some super spy or just insane.
And yeah. Harry’s luck is terrible so he’s only mildly alarmed when a portal opens up in the middle of the Great Hall.
“Harry!” Hermione’s voice is filled with concern and shock.
A kid from their table is screaming, asking what the heck is that. The professors are standing with their wands drawn out.
The entire Great Hall watches as a man wearing the ugliest shade of green Harry has ever seen pop out of the portal. Well almost the ugliest, the Slytherin green is horrendous.
One of the professors yells in question. “Who dares enter?”
The man huffs out a laugh and pulls off the metallic mask on his face. Harry can’t lie, the man has a good body.
Though, this moment of concern filled admiration is cut short when seven people step out the portal.
“Bloody hell Mate! Harry, is this his doing?” Ron has a good point. This could be Voldemort’s doing.
“Wowie~ Petey ain’t green-guy here a handsome one?” The red one says to the red-blue one.
“I mean-” Then red-blue gets cut off by buff guy.
“Nuh uh, we won’t be hearing you guys out.”
The professors look so confused but have slightly lowered their wands. Harry notices that the Great Hall is so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.
This is probably not Voldemort doing. “Ron,” he whispers because the Hall is way too quiet, “I don’t think he’s doing this.”
The ginger nods then goes back to observing the group. Hermione is mumbling something about how the green guy is probably some kind of criminal and that the seven other people are trying to capture him.
The green guy winks at them before pulling out a knife from his arse?
Immediately the group gets into a fighting position. From the corner of his eyes, Harry can see the professors tense up and still. Okay, maybe this is Voldemort.
“Holy shit.” Mustache says before bringing a hand to cover his nose. “This place smells so weird.”
“This is an assault on my nostrils!” Says the red guy.
The scarf guy tilts his head before fainting. Bloody Hell.
Skull shirt guy is rushing to scarf’s side, worry infused on his face. “Matthew?”
Sexy green guy is watching over them with a smirk on his face. The Great Hall is stunned, nobody dares to utter a word.
Harry definitely thinks this is not the works of Mr. No Nose.
“Well, well, well,” Green guy starts, turning to face the wizards, “you kids shouldn’t end up like me. Getting chased by a blind lawyer , a mass murderer, a college kid who got bit by a spider, an immortal mercenary, a bulletproof man, a guy trained by an ancient organization, and a PI!”
Green guy says this while pointing, then, he bows with an imaginary cape before a portal opens again.
Harry watches in pure confusion as the others dash to their feet and rush to the closing portal.
The portal closes. The Great Hall lets out a loud gasp. At this point, the professors are watching in amusement and scarf dude begins to stir.
The girl yells in frustration. Her yells direct itself towards scarf guy. “Murdock! If you hadn’t passed out we wouldn’t be trapped in a fucking school!”
“Shit are we stuck here?” Came from a deep voice. Harry whips his head to the voice and sees the so-called bulletproof man. Harry scoffs, that’s just plain stupid.
Even Hermione is silent as she watches this exchange. There are multiple conversations (or arguments) coming from various people and Harry feels a headache forming just by watching this.
The girl and scarf-guy-Matthew are still arguing. The girl is yelling something along the lines of “give me my scarf back!”, while Matthew is refusing and giving hopefully valid points.
Skull dude is cursing something in a different language. Harry listens as Hermione says that it’s Italian.
Red-blue spandex and red-mercenary look like they are about to make out.
And bulletproof and mustache are arguing about why they even joined the chase.
This goes on for ten whole minutes before orange sparks draws Harry's attention.
Of course it’s another bloody portal.
This time a bloody wizard (he assumes it’s a wizard because the guy slightly reminds him of Snape) and a metal guy step out.
“Stark.” This comes from atleast half the group. Harry swears he hears a, “Mr. Stark” and a “Tony”.
The man – Stark – raises an eyebrow at the group. “Well, what have New York’s local vigilantes gotten themselves into?”
Multiple people scoff and Harry can see people rolling their eyes.
“Ah, right, Strange where are we?”
Strange, who is the wizard man who has a really weird name, speaks up. “Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”
Stark smirks with a questioning look in his eye. “This is where you and the Maximoff girl went to learn your weird wizard shit?”
“Shut up and no. Kamar-taj.”
“Mr. Stark!” Red-blue cuts in, “Why are you here?”
“To save the day of course. Hello Peter.”
Stark scans the group and his eyes land on skull dude. “Ooh. Hello Castle, nice to finally meet you. Big fan of your arrests by the way.”
Oh. Skull dude is really a killer. Harry can’t believe a murderer is standing in his school!
“Thanks. I like your sex tapes, specifically the one where you’re high off your mind and fucking two girls at once.”
The Hall echos with gasps and sounds of coughing from the professors.
“Why are you watching them, Castle?” There’s so much distaste in the voice that Harry shivers are sent down his spine. “Don’t you have a wife and kids? Oh, right, my bad. They’re six feet under.”
“Like your parents.”
The Great Hall roars with cheers and shouts before quieting down at Strange’s interruption.
“Alright settle down. We came here to rescue your asses so let’s catch this son of a bitch.”
The orange sparks start again and the group walks through it before it shuts behind them.
The Great Hall stares at the spot in silence. Someone burps and the professors take action.
-
Rick’s talking to Daryl when he hears sounds coming from the forest.
“I’ll check that out.” He says and grabs a crowbar that's near him.
Rick heads into the forest. As he approaches, the rustingly gets louder.
He’s holding the crowbar up in a defensive position and he watches as a fucking portal opens up and a guy steps out.
The guy is dressed very oddly but thankfully he’s not a dammed Walker.
The guy looks around for a moment before jolting his head behind him as an orange circle starts forming. The unknown guy opens another portal and runs into it, disappearing.
What the fuck.
Rick’s frozen in place, confusion evident. He watches as the orange circle begins to grow in size and a goddamn concerning amount of people stand out.
They are definitely not dead either but wearing the weirdest stuff ever. One’s wearing a cape and flying , one is wearing full metal armour, one has a web design on red-blue spandex, another guy (?) is also wearing red but mixed with black. One dude is built as fuck and tall as hell. There’s a guy with a glowing fist? One guy has a scarf over his head and is wearing a suit, there’s another guy who’s holding a gun and looks strangely like Shane. Finally there’s a short ass girl who might be levitating.
It’s too early for this.
The group observes their surroundings before the scarf guy says, “he left.”
Then another orange circle portal opens up and they disappear.
Rick thinks he might be sleep deprived. He doesn’t hear Daryl’s footsteps coming closer.
-
Everything blurs together as they pass through multiple different dimensions while trying to track the Portal man.
Eventually, after many other worlds, the group ends up back in New York on Earth 616.
The man smirks, “Fun wasn’t it?”
Peter shoots his webs out, trapping him.
“Who are you?” Tony questions, his suit powering up.
“Charles. Charles Little Sky.”
“Alright,” Strange grunts, sparing a glance towards the vigilantes, “Charles Little Sky, you will be taken into custody for interrupting both the timeline and other dimensions.”
Charles' lips quirk up in an exhausted smile, sighing as he nods. Blood drips down his face, staining the webs holding him in a crimson red.
Strange takes him away, ensuring the group that he will contact the X-Men for assistance.
The group is left panting on the roof of a random building in Hell’s Kitchen.