MMMMM FORESHADOWING
Rei was an odd mafioso.
There is a man lesser than her who refused to kill altogether, that's not what she does. But it’s similar.
She would only kill people who she feels deserves it. Anyone who willingly and not as a form of self-defense, killed, tortured, stole from, or abused a person, were people she was willing to kill. Any rapists, pedophiles or those who hurt children or the elderly were people she would kill no hesitation. Anyone other than people who fit into those categories she refused to kill.
Because of this, the fact that she was being called to the boss’ office was confusing. She opened the door to reveal Mori Ougai, not the boss.
“Ah, Rei-kun! I’m sorry about the boss’ absence but his illness has gotten a hold of him. Now to get to the point of this meeting. Do you know who Shuji Tsushima, or Dazai Osamu, is?”
Rei knew Dazai hates this man. She was not letting him know about her and Dazai’s friendship. Dazai always ranted about Mori telling him that friendships are ‘unbefitting for a mafioso.’ She was going to protect Dazai at all costs. “Shuji-sama? I’ve heard of him, isn’t he the ‘demon prodigy? What about him?”
“Well you see, Shuji-chan,” Rei’s brow furrowed at the odd honorific “Is a traitor. He has fled to a place called Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” Mori said, resting his head in his hands.
“I understand your…condition” Mori said, treating Rei’s moral standards as a type of disease, “I feel that Dazai should be one of those you are willing to kill. You are to sneak into Hogwarts as an assistant to the potions professor and fulfill your job.”
“What is ‘my job’” Rei asked skeptically
Mori chuckled and leaned back in his chair
“Eliminate Osamu Dazai.”
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It had been a day since Dazai was discharged from the hospital. He was still unable to walk, but he began to speak to the Hell’s Hounds and Snape. He had been given clearance to go to class tomorrow, he wasn’t very happy about that but it was better than sitting around on the gang room’s couch or the infirmary bed. Dazai had to be accompanied by another person, student or teacher, at all times. The other students seemed concerned at their favorite monster’s newest disability but still avoided him like a plague. Lockhart continued his hero schemes but no longer named Dazai as the demon.
Snape was almost worse than the twins when it came to mother-henning him. He always would force food onto Dazai’s plate in the mornings, and would constantly be side-eyeing Dazai. Blaise said that Snape was just trying to take care of him, but Dazai knew better, Snape was stalking Dazai. Probably not, but Dazai needed to tell himself that to save his ego. Things were almost back to how things were during first year with Pansy. She obviously still hated him, she wouldn’t have gotten over her jealousy that easily, but she put up with him for Blaise and Draco’s sake. Draco started being around Dazai in public. Dazai tried to remind Draco about maintaining his family’s reputation, but Draco’s response was something along the lines of, “I don't care.” clearly more worried about Dazai than himself.
“What are you thinking about?” Blaise asked, snapping Dazai out of his thoughts. The two of them were currently sitting in the gang’s office. They were both sitting on the couch with Dazai’s head on Blaise’s lap
“Things, why do you ask?” Dazai said
“You got a really far away look on your face and started muttering, so, seriously, what's on your mind?” Blaise said, still leaving Dazai enough room to change the topic if he got uncomfortable talking about his current thoughts.
“I was thinking about the gang’s next mission!” Dazai lied through his teeth. Blaise saw right through the lie but let it sit, not pushing Dazai to answer truthfully.
“Alright… Anyways, it’s getting late. Are you going to sleep in the dorm room tonight or here?” Blaise asked. “If you’re planning on sleeping here I'm going to head back to the dorm rooms, I'm getting tired. Unless you want me to stay with you?” Blaise added as an afterthought.
“No, you can head back to the dorms. Say hi to Draco for me, and maybe Pansy.” Dazai said, sitting up, allowing Blaise to leave.
“Alright, Goodnight Dazai. Stay safe.” Blaise said, then left.
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(TRIGGER WARNING)
Dazai didn’t know what time it was. It was late. It was far past curfew. His mind began to wander long ago.
This was the calm before the storm. He could never have anything this nice. The world was going to let him grab onto this last bit of hope before tearing it all away, the Hell’s Hounds would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him. Blaise would abandon him.
Dazai didn’t understand why, but the fact that Blaise might leave him was what scared him the most. That thought made him itch. His arms itched. His arms itched. His arms itched. His arms itched. His arms itched. His arms itched. His arms itched. His arms itched. His arms itched.
He sat up from where he had been laying on the floor of the room of requirement. He ripped off his bandages and began scratching at them recklessly.
It wasn’t enough
His sin ran deep. His blood was tainted. He needed to get rid of it. He could feel the sin under his skin itching to get out, he needed to get it out. He needed to get it out. He needed to get it out. He needed to get it out. He needed to get it out. He needed to get it out. He needed to get it out. He needed to get it out. He needed to get it out. He needed to get it out.
He stood and walked over to the desk where he found a glass lamp. He unplugged it and threw it onto the ground. It shattered into a million shards, it reminded him of his first time seeing snow. His mother had snuck the both of them out when his dad was away. He was so confused and she laughed. She laughed. Seeing her laugh made that entire day so much better. It doesn’t matter that his father found out and beat both of them till they could barely walk. He had made his mother laugh. That’s all that mattered.
He fell onto his knees and felt the smaller of the shards dig into his skin. He began to chuckle. He sifted through the shards before he found the largest, sharpest one. He picked it up and held it to his arm. There were rivers of faint white lines covering his forearms, some vertical, some horizontal.
He closed his eye, and when he opened it again he could no longer see any of the skin on either of his forearms. He had run out of room. All of the cuts were horizontal, he should be fine.
He brought the shard up to his left bicep and dug the glass into the skin. The skin here was much more sensitive and he winced against the pain. He felt tears welling up behind his eye then flowing down his face. He only managed to make 4 cuts before he had to stop. He was laughing hysterically at this point
“Stay safe” Blaise had ordered him. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order. He didn’t follow an order.
It was such a simple order and he couldn’t even follow it for one night. He deserved to be punished. What he had done to himself wasn’t enough. Maybe if he went to Snape he would beat Dazai like he deserved.
Yeah, that was the best plan.
He stood up and his vision got black in some spots
He had done just enough
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(This is the end of the trigger warning. For a brief summary so anyone who skipped won't get lost. Dazai hurt himself, got mad at himself for not following Blaise’s “order” to stay safe and is going to snape in hopes that snape would punish him)
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Snape had a feeling something was wrong. This was seemingly confirmed when he awoke to a knocking at his door.
“It’s 1:00 AM, what do you want-” he cut himself off when he looked down and saw Dazai. His sleeves were rolled up to his shoulders and his bandages were missing. His arms were a mess of crimson and red. His eyes were red from crying and when he blinked it was slow and tired. His lips were bloodied and cracked and his breathing was slow and labored. He reached out slowly to grab Dazai’s shoulder. Dazai flinched away from the touch before wincing and stepping towards Snape
“Hey, kid, follow me, we're going to go to the infirmary then I will go get Madam Pomfrey. I'm so glad you came to me, you did the right thing, I'm proud of you.” Snape said, trying to ground Dazai. Dazai’s head slowly turned in Snape’s direction before tilting to the side like a confused dog. Dazai lifted his arms slowly and painfully to place his head in his hands before looking back up at Snape
“I-I-I’m s-so-sorry” he choked out before promptly collapsing into Snape’s arms
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Blaise had a building list of red flags in his head
1.Dazai’s behavior last night: Ever since Blaise had known Dazai, but especially since the “incident” Dazai was always on guard. The fact that Blaise was able to sit there for 3 minutes calling Dazai’s name before he finally snapped out of his thoughts was odd.
2.Dazai not showing up to breakfast: this by itself isn’t weird, but paired with his behavior the night before, it’s definitely concerning
3.Dazai not showing up to his first class: It wasn’t unlike Dazai to skip class but he had been telling Blaise about how excited he was to get back to class and escape his boredom.
Blaise, thinking Dazai had just overslept, decided to go to the room of requirement to see if Dazai was still there.
Every step he took toward the gang room a pit formed in his stomach. He brushed it off. Dazai was fine… Probably.
As he opened the door he found another thing to add to his list
4.The shattered glass and pool of blood in the middle of the Room of Requirement.