Snape and dazai's father-son dynamic
Dazai had the best sleep of his life.
When he woke up, it was like he was being compressed by a weighted blanket. Although the source of this pressure was something much more embarrassing. Blaise Zambini.
Dazai’s head was on Blaise’s chest and Blaise had him in a kind of hug, one of Blaise’s hands tangled into Dazai’s hair, the other around his waist.
Dazai realized how awkward it would be if Blaise woke up and saw him like this. He tried his best to squirm his way out of Blaise’s grip but the more he tried the tighter Blaise held him.
It was a hopeless endeavor. All that ended up happening was Blaise pulling Dazai closer.
Dazai gave up and let sleep overtake him for the second time
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When Blaise woke up he realized that he and Dazai were cuddling. Blaise felt his face heat up upon this realization. Luckily Dazai hadn’t seemed to have woken up, it seemed like Blaise had a few moments to save himself from embarrassment.
He shifted Dazai out of his arms and slid out of the bed.
It would be best to get Dazai something to eat. It couldn’t be anything too hard to digest but it needed to be nutritious. He left Dazai a note explaining where he went so when he awoke he wouldn’t panic. Blaise stopped by Madam Pomfrey’s office to let her know he was leaving, then headed towards the Great Hall.
When he entered the Great Hall he was immediately dragged to the side by Draco, Pansy seemingly not awake yet.
“Where were you last night? Why did you never return to the common room with us?” Draco demanded.
“Oh! Sorry if I worried you. I stayed with Dazai over the night. He didn’t seem to be doing well, mentally I mean, and I didn’t exactly trust him to be alone. He also asked me to stay.” Blaise responded walking over to the table where all the food had been laid out. He found a few pieces of toast and eggs for himself and yogurt and grits for Dazai.
He turned to walk back to the infirmary and was faced with the Weasley twins staring down at him
“I'm assuming you two want to know how Dazai is doing?” Blaise stated. The twins nodded ecstatically. “Well why don't you just come with me? I'm gonna go see him and give him breakfast.”
The twins looked at eachother, nodded, then responded at the same time “Sounds good to us!”
The three of them walked down the twisting halls of Hogwarts, eventually finding the infirmary door
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When Dazai woke up again Blaise was absent. A part of him felt strangely empty at the realization that he was alone but he quickly smothered that response. It was ‘unbefitting of a mafioso’ as Mori would say
He’s not there anymore.
He can feel emotions now, there would be no punishment for it.
Feeling emotions would be encouraged actually. Expressing them would be even better. Rei would always write in a notebook, maybe he should try that. Yeah, daily journaling, he could try that and if it didn’t work for him he could find something else.
Dazai sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, they seemed a bit numb but that was probably fine.
He pushed himself of the bed and immediately face planted onto the floor
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The twins and Blaise walked into the infirmary to see Professor Snape and Madam Pomfrey talking in hushed voices. Their conversation was cut off by a crash coming from Dazai’s bed.
They all ran over and threw open the curtains to see Dazai sitting on the floor, holding his arm where the IV had been ripped out.
Madam Pomfrey rushed to his side and helped him back onto the bed
“Dazai! You can't be trying to walk! One of the bullets damaged your spine, it may be a while before you can walk again, dear. Don’t worry, your movement should be restored within a few months but until then you should use a wheelchair, and try to stay off your feet as much as possible .” Madam Pomfrey explained, half to Dazai, half to his visitors. She then walked over to the closet, pulled out a wheelchair and set it next to Dazai’s bed. “If you need to move around, use this,” she said motioning to the chair, “And, once you are discharged, if your movement has not yet returned make sure you have someone with you if you need to move far distances. Now what was it that you needed?” Madam Pomfrey explained.
Dazai reached for his paper and pencil, shook his head, motioned Blaise over, And whispered something in his ear.
Blaise stood up and summarized what Dazai had told him. “He’s interested in journaling, he was wondering if he could have a notebook, preferably with a divider. One half for journaling and the other for communicating.”
The twins and Snape were shocked at Dazai’s sudden ability to talk, but Madam Pomfrey seemed interested at most. Blaise himself was a bit confused as to why Dazai would only talk to him?
“Of course dear, I’ll find one of those for you here soon. It seems that Blaise here has brought you some food, ” Madam Pomfrey then took the food from Blaise’s hands and placed it on Dazai’s bedside table “Make sure you eat now, you are severely underweight." At this she ushered everyone out of Dazai’s room and closed the curtain behind her “Alright,” Madam Pomfrey began looking at her colleague and students “I can tell you all have questions, ask. I will answer to the best of my ability without breaching patient confidentiality”
The twins were the first ones to speak. “I thought he couldn’t talk?”
“There is nothing preventing him from talking, the wound across his neck hit his trachea but failed to hit his larynx. I suspect he has selective mutism, his brain not allowing him to speak, except to a selective few people. Once his brain catches up he will regain speech.” Madam Pomfrey explained briefly
George began “What is a larynx,” and Fred finished. “ And what’s a trachea”
“A larynx is where your vocal cords are stored, and trachea is the scientific term for your windpipe.” she explained
Blaise finally spoke up “Wait, if his windpipe was slit wouldn’t he be dead?”
“Not exactly. While, yes, many people who obtain a throat injury die, if the bleeding is stopped, if the trachea is cut in exactly the right spot, and if the victim gets help within time, and if the doctor has the equipment to perform a tracheostomy, having the patient breathe through a tube till they have the strength and ability to breath on their own. Only then is it probable that the patient will survive. I must say, Mr. Dazai is incredibly lucky and resilient.”
Snape, hearing this, nodded and began talking. “Alright, I need to talk to Dazai in private, so why don’t you kids say goodbye to your friend, you are all already late for class” with this, the twins ran into Dazai’s room said bye and ran to class, not wanting to get another detention on top of their other 8. Blaise was a lot slower in this process, talking with Dazai and dragging his feet on the way out the door.
“Should I join you for his conversation?” Madam Pomfrey inquired handing Snape the notebook that Dazai had requested
Snape shook his head and opened the curtain to Dazai’s bed. Dazai was sitting straight up in his bed and his head snapped in Snape’s direction, his face making him seem scared and ready to fight before morphing back into something more calm and collected
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The curtains flew open, tension seeping in along with the sound of Madam Pomfrey cleaning up her work station and sitting down to do paperwork. The one who had thrown open the curtain was Snape. The look on his face sent Dazai back to a very dark time, a very dark life. A life he had left behind. Snape’s expression was identical to Father’s before beatings. Identical to Mori’s before Mori would cut him up and take samples. Identical to his mother’s before she would lock him up, before she would yell at him; it was the same look she had when she looked at Dazai as she placed the noose around her neck and kicked the chair.
.
‘Show no fear. Once they know you are weak they know you can be killed.’ Mori’s voice shot through Dazai’s head. He quickly smothered the expression on his face and smiled up at his professor
“Here, the notebook you requested. I need to talk to you.” Snape stated bluntly, right to the point, leaving no room for argument or convincing
Dazai opened his notebook and began writing “Straight to the point then, what is it you need? I can't promise I'll write back much. My wrist still hurts from that fall earlier.”
“Of course. No sense in beating around the bush,” Snape noted how Dazai flinched at the word ‘beating’ and added it to a growing list of things he had noticed about his problem child. “We absolutely cannot send you back there and we would like your input on your new living arrangements. I have spoken with Madam Pomfrey, she would be willing to take you in for as long as necessary. The same goes for Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. I, myself, am also willing to take you in if you would like. Take all the time you need to make your decision, If you end up changing your mind after you have said that is fine.” Snape finished.
Dazai, without missing a beat, lifted his hand and pointed at Snape. Madam Pomfrey would have too many medical supplies and while she was a lovely person, Dazai knew it would bring back unwanted memories. Dazai knew the Weasleys were struggling financially and would feel bad adding to that bill. While, yes, Snape was on teacher salary it should still be enough for just two people. Dazai would just make sure to be as quiet, obedient, and cheap as he possibly could.
“I understand. I will let Madam Pomfrey and the Weasleys know of your decision. Now sleep well.” Dazai didn’t need to be told twice. He slid down under the blanket and was asleep before he closed his eye. Snape walked over and placed a hand on Dazai’s head
“Goodnight kid.”