Part II
REGULUS
The first night was fine. The first whole day was also fine. For the most part everyone left him alone. Not bothering him when he clearly didn’t want any company. Sirius of course would come and talk to him whenever they saw him, but that’s to be expected. The whole day everyone was just sitting by the lake or swimming. The weather has been great, not too hot, but hot enough that the water feels good.
He knows this because while everyone else was off getting groceries, he went swimming. It’s the first time he’s gotten to swim after his surgery and the first time he’s even worn a swimsuit. Part of him only went in the lake while everyone was gone to have some peace and quiet. The other part of him will never admit it, but he was nervous about it. About being seen.
No one did, and the rest of the day he sat up in a tree where no one could see him. He brought his book, a notebook, and headphones with him. It was peaceful. The music drowned out the noise from everyone below and he could just enjoy nature. For hours he just scribbled doodles on the pages. One started as a drawing of the lake in front of him but he couldn’t get it quite right. He’ll try again another day. Though he was never the artistic one in the family.
The tree he found is slightly up the hill, closer to the cabins than the water. It’s out of the way so that no one would just stumble upon him, but it’s not completely hidden. There is a clearing in front of it, allowing him a clear view of the horizon laying across the glossy water. Thankfully he’s facing just away from the raucous happening below, so he doesn't have to see it.
It’s only the second day of this, approximately fifty eight more to go. Or something like that. If he can just have a few days of peace before he’s dragged into all of the plans against his will, then it will be fine. It’s bad enough that when they arrived Regulus found that he’s set to share a room with James Potter of all people. Of course that wasn’t told to him before he agreed to get in the car. Had it been he likely would have sucked it up and waited back with Effie until Andy was home. But no, that detail was rudely kept from him.
He locked the door while everyone was still outside last night. Protecting his peace. Knowing that James was not going to bang on the door or try to pick the lock to get in. They aren’t the type. Though it wasn’t entirely his own idea. When Lily caught up with him mid-escape, she somehow knew something was wrong. They then suggested taking the room for himself, so he did.
All things considered, she’s not bad. Tolerable. More so than others that are here, that’s for sure. When he eventually can’t avoid all eight others on this trip, well then maybe she’ll be one that he can talk to. But for now, it’s him and this tree.
Or so he thought. The one downside to his headphones continuously playing music is that he can’t hear anyone approaching. Up in the tree, this shouldn’t have been a problem. No one knows he’s here, plus he should be able to feel if someone were to try and climb it. Regulus overestimated himself, or perhaps underestimated the strength of the tree, because one second he’s looking out over the water and the next the most, maybe second most, annoying face pops up in front of him.
“What do you want?” He seethes, pulling his headphones off just enough to hear.
“We’re working on dinner, I set out to find you.” James smiles.
It takes all of his strength to not kick him off the brand they perched on.
“How about you go back and say you couldn’t find me.”
They shake their head and attempt to reach out a hand, which Regulus promptly swats away. “No can do. Come on before I have to drag you out of this tree.”
It’s tempting. Both of them would topple out of the tree and onto the uneven ground below. If he’s lucky, James would cushion his fall. They’re a bit bigger than him, but not enough that he could get away unscathed. While staying in a hospital to recover may be a bit appealing, considering his options, he doesn’t really want to deal with actually recovering. The past few months after his surgery were enough.
Not to mention the fact that James would also be there. Knowing his luck they would be placed in a shared room there too. At least here if he gets to the cabin before everyone else at night he can lock him out of the room they’re meant to be sharing. He rolls his eyes and swings his legs over to one side of the branch. His drop to the ground is mostly graceful, just a slight stumble as he regains his balance.
“How did you do that?” James looks down at him.
“It’s really not that hard.” He turns, rolling his eyes, only to turn back at the sound of them hitting the hard ground. “James?”
“I’m alright!” He jumps up and brushes off their hands on their shorts, then looks at them and grimaces.
“Are you really?” Regulus asks, but he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t care, the idiot seems to be fine.
He takes a few steps to meet him as Regulus starts to walk away. “I- yeah. I’m alright. Just a few little scratches on my hands. Did you know trees are like that? So pokey.”
“Yes. I do happen to know what trees are like. Is this your first time experiencing them?” He taunts, continuing on ahead.
The short way to the cabin, only barely on a path, James trails behind him. He doesn’t bother carrying on the conversation, he doesn’t want to talk. It’s bad enough he was practically forced out of the tree, and he’ll have to spend at least the next bit of time around everyone. It’s well within his right to attempt to savour the last few moments of peace he can have without having to listen to anything more that James has to say.
Along the way, he looks around discreetly to stake out a new place to spend his time. Now that his wonderful spot is ruined. How many days into this will it take for everyone, mainly James and Sirius, to give up on him taking part in this? Sirius is the one who planned it all, and had all of their friends in mind while doing so. None of this was created with him in mind, he’s not meant to be here. He will end up making it worse for everyone else if he’s forced into whatever dumb activities are planned.
What’s even worse is that the phone signal is horrendous here. In the cabin it works well enough, but as soon as he’s leaves he’s lucky if a text will send within thirty minutes of trying. He hasn’t even bothered trying to call any of his friends. They’re barely answering his texts as it is, regardless of when they go through. Regulus knows they’re just busy, that will change eventually. And he will still be here.
Stepping onto the back porch of the house, he can already hear that everyone is inside having a good time. It’s a very annoying sound. He could just put his headphones on, that would solve the problem. Perhaps create another in the form of their sibling being annoyed at them, but that may be the lesser of two evils. If James weren’t following behind them they would turn and find somewhere else to go.
“You found him! Reggie come on, we’re making your favourite for dinner.” Sirius pulls him through the doorway as if he were waiting for him.
“It smells like burgers.” He scrunches his nose.
“You love burgers! Do you want a drink? Lily’s making them for everyone.” He carries on talking about whatever brightly coloured drink is in his hand, but Regulus doesn’t listen.
He doesn’t really care for burgers. Really, they're’ just fine. Why Sirius seems to think he loves them or that they’re his favourite, he has no idea. They aren’t, to be clear. He only eats them if someone else makes them. In recent years he can’t even remember ordering one at a restaurant. Dorcas is in the kitchen cooking something, a side for the burgers that are being grilled on the side of the cabin by Peter. That appeals to him more.
For now a drink is calling his name if he’s meant to spend the rest of the night in this company. “What do you have for me that doesn’t look like it will make me sick?”
“Wine? Whiskey? What’s your style, we have most everything.” Lily offers him a soft smile, he doesn’t return it.
“Wine is fine. Red if you’ve got it.” He leans against the counter, giving him a full view of the room.
Everyone is moving around, talking to each other, laughing, setting the table for dinner. It’s a whirlwind and more than a few times he thinks people are going to crash into each other with plates of food or glasses and plates. They never do. As if they can all anticipate the others’ movements and it’s a choreographed dance. He’s not part of it, he’s in the wings while they’re all on stage. He’s just observing. He’s always just observing.
At the long table in the center of the somewhat designated dining room, Remus sits and sips at his drink. He appears to also be observing, not quite in the mood to run around the house like Sirius seems to be doing. They’re up and moving, haven’t been still for even a second. Going outside to check on or talk to Peter, returning a moment later and spinning around the room until they find the next person they want to talk to. He’s hoping that it isn’t him.
Lily lifts themself up to sit on the counter next to where he leans. “Hop up, we can stay out of the way until everything is ready.”
“I wouldn’t think you’d want to do that. Looks like your attention is wanted over there.” He nods toward Mary who is finishing off the last of what seems to be a mixed drink and not so sneakily looking at her.
Reluctantly he joins her on the counter, and it feels weird for the first second. He was never allowed to do things like this. If he or Sirius were caught even thinking about climbing on furniture, let alone the kitchen counters, they would be yelled at. Regulus lets that feeling wash over him and then disappear, because well it honestly feels nice to not be worried about that sort of thing. No one is going to be upset with him here, he’s free to do as he pleases.
“Mary can come get another drink if she likes.” She lets her head rest behind her on the upper cabinets. “I’m pretty much always with her, I happen to like talking to other people too.”
There’s something more hidden in her words that he can’t quite decipher. For some unknown reason he wants to pry. “Are you two not together? I assumed…”
“Oh, no we’re not. Just friends.” Lily quickly shuts him down.
Before he can ask anything more, though he’s not quite sure what he would say, Peter comes in carrying the plate of burgers. Timing seems to work out miraculously well because at the other end of the kitchen Dorcas takes the potatoes out of the oven. A second later he is alone on the counter and Lily is rushing over to help. Taking a breath, he decides to wait until everyone settles down before making his way over. One more second of quiet.
Or so he thought. “Reggie!” Sirius yells much louder than necessary. “Come sit, you’re part of this family too.”
Family. Right. This is Sirius’ family that they left him for. Not the whole thing, that includes Effie and Monty too. They are both good people, he has nothing against them. They’re better parents for Sirius anyway. But everyone else here are the people they want to spend time with. They aren’t his family, he’s an extra addition to this trip. His heart tightens as Sirius says it, he can’t help it.
Maybe they mean it, or maybe they’re just saying it. For the past few years since Sirius left, they haven’t really felt like family. Definitely not in the sense that they mean right now. They’re barely even family at all anymore. Only by blood. Only by necessity. Only because they were born to the same two piece of shit parents. Not because they want to be.
And that just hurts more.
Hopping off the counter, he shakes the thoughts from his head. That doesn’t matter. He is the one who ran to Sirius after being kicked out, he does still want them as his family. More than ever. He never stopped wanting that. So really he should just let himself have it, it’s better that way. Sirius can be his family. When no one else is his family, Sirius is. The rest of the people here aren’t, but he’ll take Sirius as his. Even if that isn’t reciprocated.
There’s only one seat left at the table, well technically there is another but that would mean squeezing in on the side that only has a bench. It’s two heads of the table, a bench that could probably fit four if you squish, and four chairs on the other side. The open seat, to his luck, is next to James. Reluctantly he walks over and slides the chair out to take a seat.
“Our first dinner! Thanks Peter and Dorcas for making it tonight.” Sirius says happily now that the table is full.
They’re at the head, looking out and able to easily talk to all of their friends. Lily is at the other head. Which only seems fitting as they were apparently the ones to plan this whole thing. The two ringleaders of each cabin. Remus is between James and Sirius, predictably so. He’s never far from where Sirius is, though who's to say what the hell is going on there. Across from him is Dorcas, Marlene, and Peter.
Everyone starts eating happily. Regulus is a bit hungry. He only had a few bites of something to eat this morning before he set out to avoid everyone else all day. The burgers don’t look bad, he just isn’t really in the mood for one. But he picks at it, taking little bites. Trying not to offend Peter who made them. The potatoes are good, he eats those no problem. He was raised with good manners, to not turn down food that others made, to eat properly. It’s ingrained in him unfortunately.
Focusing on the food is easier than actually participating in the conversation, but when he stops and is only halfway through his burger, he’s pulled back in. “Reg, Reg, Reg…” James annoyingly repeats his name over and over.
“What?” He whips his head around, it’s more of a statement than a question. Just to get them to shut up.
“Just wanted to see if you were enjoying your dinner. You haven’t said anything the whole time.”
“It’s fine.” He turns away again.
When he looks around, everyone’s plates are empty except his. Even Sirius’, who is usually the last to finish if she does at all. Organised meals aren’t usually her style. Tentatively he looks back to the side where James is, but he’s no longer looking at him. Good. He doesn’t want him to. Regulus hates being watched. It’s unnerving.
His ears ring as everyone keeps talking. The volume creeps up until it’s so loud that he wants to yell for everyone to just shut up. That’s not an option though. These people already barely know him. They don’t need to start hating him after only a day of this trip. Then again he doesn’t quite care what they think of him, he’s already mostly formed his opinions of them.
“I’ll work on cleaning up, then games?” Sirius pushes their chair out and starts clearing the plates.
“I can help.” The words tumble out of his mouth before he even has the chance to stop them. He had no intentions of helping, except now he’s volunteered himself.
“Really?” They pause, “Nope, I’m not going to question it. C’mon Reggie, let’s clean up!”
Well now he has no choice. He can’t get out of it now, so he grabs the plates from around him. Purposefully not taking James’, they can do it themself or Sirius can take it. It’s really his fault that Regulus had to be part of this meal, so he can pay for his crimes. He’s able to carry three plates easily anyway, and Lily even offers a little thank you as he takes hers. At least someone is appreciative.
Everyone else migrates to the room over, while the pair of siblings go toward the kitchen. Sirius starts washing the plates after Regulus dumps any scraps into the bin. They never did this growing up, there were butlers and nannies and whoever else to clean up the house. Walburga never forced them to do any of this. Somewhat surprising that chores weren’t even used as punishment. Yet they still easily fall into Sirius rinsing and Regulus drying.
The whole time he keeps one eye on the task and his other watching everyone else through the doorway. It’s not his fault he’s wary of all of them. They’re not his friends. He’s only ever met them when he happened to be around for things. Like Sirus’ birthday the last few years. Even then, he brought his friends along to not be alone. To not feel like the odd one out. That’s what he is now, nothing is really stopping him from feeling like that. Not yet.
Fingers snap in front of his face, just as he is watching James laughing with their whole body at something Dorcas said. “I’m trying to have a conversation with you.”
“Were you talking? I didn’t hear you.” He dismisses him.
“I was.” He sounds less than enthusiastic. “What are you even distracted by?”
Sirius turns and puts his own head into Regulus’ eyeline. Trying to mimic where he was looking. But no one is standing there anymore. Good, he doesn’t need to be wondering why he’s staring at James. Which he wasn’t, by the way. That’s just the person he’s the most wary of. That’s valid too anyway. He doesn’t have to defend himself.
“Nothing. What were you saying then?”
“Are you going to let James sleep in a bed tonight?”
He scoffs. “No, I wasn’t planning on sharing a bed. Thank you very much.”
“They would keep to themself, you don’t have to worry about that. I’ve shared with them plenty of times before. But if you really don’t want to, he and Remus can swap, if you’d rather share with him.” He rattles off those options.
“As if you would give up sharing with Lupin. Isn’t he your boyfriend or something?”
“No, we’re just friends.”
That’s the second time he’s heard that tonight. This one he believes even less than the last. This whole group is full of people waiting to pair off into couples. Maybe not all of them, but he’s seen how everyone looks at each other. No shot he’s getting in the middle of that. Especially not with his own sibling, who sounds all but devastated at the words that just left their own mouth.
“Right, of course.” He dries off the last plate and adds it to the stack on the counter next to him. “We’re all done, so I’ll be going. Good night Sirius.”
“Nope, you’re coming with for games. You were off on your own all day, you have to.” They protest.
“No I don’t.”
“Yes you do. You have to or it means you hate me.”
He sighs. “And what if I do hate you?”
“Do you?”
Instead of answering, he lets them drag him by the hand to the other room. This is going to be a long night.
The thing is, he doesn’t have to play. And he stands by that fact. No one said he had to play the games. He just had to join. He just got guilted into being in the room. Biding his time until he can sneak off and go to bed. Figuring out how long is long enough that it seems to Sirius that he tried. Putting in as little effort as possible to keep them happy. There are countless times when they have been upset with them, but he’s not quite in the mood to do that right now. Aside from being dragged on this trip, the two of them are in a good stretch right now.
It’s been weeks since they last truly fought. The drive up hardly counts. Better to keep it up than let things go sour. Especially given the fact that Regulus technically doesn’t have a home at the moment. It is in his best interest to have at least one person on his side by the end of this trip. There’s nowhere for him to go home to, even Sirius is the one who got Andromeda to agree to let him live there.
Those two were always closer. Regulus was closer with their other cousins. That’s just how the cards fell. Andy has nothing against him, but he also knows that if she had her choice of cousin to house, it would be Sirius every day of the week. It’s fine, it’s not something to be upset about. Sirius just always gets what they want. They deserve that though. It was a hard road for them to be happy, he knows that as much as anyone does. He doesn’t ever want to be a reason they aren’t happy.
The rest of the night, or the hour or so that he hangs around are… interesting. He tuned out when the game was being explained and only tuned back in when it was too late. Not that he wanted to play, but he lost track of any sense of comprehension. Instead he finds himself hesitantly watching James again. Even when he tries to peel his eyes away, it doesn’t work. He ends up back there.
Watching the way the corners of their eyes scrunch up when they laugh. The difference between a real full body laugh, and the light chuckle that he tries to stifle when the joke is at someone else’s expense. Okay yeah, he needs to go to bed. Enough of this, he’s looking at James Potter… for fun. For fucks sake. Time to sleep, notably without James present. He will be on the couch again. Or wherever he slept last night.
Within a second of him standing up from the sofa, Sirius is already calling after him. He really didn’t think anyone would notice his absence. “Going to bed?”
“Yeah, tired. G’night.”
“Can you er- not lock the door so I can get a change of clothes tonight?”
Regulus heaves yet another sigh, which seems to be a constant in this cabin. “Fine. Whatever.” He shuts the door behind him, but doesn’t lock it, he’s not that mean.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
LILY
In the middle of the afternoon, the sun at its highest point in the sky, Lily finds a set of trees to hang a hammock in and settles in. She ties her hair back and out of her face, but some pieces of red still fall in front of her eyes. Mental note to have someone braid it for her later or this will continue to annoy her to no end. Maybe a haircut right before this trip wasn’t the best idea.
It’s peaceful here. They’re able to think without feeling suffocated, but they can also be with everyone else to turn off their mind. From pretty early this morning when Mary dragged her from bed to make coffee and sit by the fire pit, to just ten minutes ago everything has been non stop. Constant conversations with everyone. Music playing from one phone or another. It’s exactly what this trip was meant to be.
Her fair skin however, can’t take being under the sun for hours on end the way others are able to, and sometimes quiet can be nice. So now she’s here. It won’t be long until someone finds her. She’s not purposefully hiding the way Regulus keeps doing. But maybe she is a little bit. Just for right now.
Ever since her phone buzzed with a message from her mum she hasn’t been able to say anything. She’s just staring at it. They aren’t the problem, they never have been. They’re the best parents she could ask for. Accepting them no matter what, providing everything they could ever need. Caring beyond just the bare minimum. Though sometimes to a fault. Like right now.
Dad, Petunia, and I all miss you! Hope you’re having fun at the lake, call when you can xx. That’s what the message said. If anyone were to see it they wouldn’t be able to figure out why they’re upset. Why their chest keeps tightening and won’t give. Why they can’t breathe right. So Lily is off laying in a hammock on their own. Being with everyone is too much right now.
That is no one else’s fault. They’re all just having fun. She doesn’t want to stop that. She doesn’t want to bring anyone else down with her. Besides, she can deal with this on her own. Most of them know that not everything has always been great between her and her sister. Maybe not the extent of it, but some of it. Mary of course knows that they aren’t talking at all now, she had to tell her when she showed up days early for the trip on her front step.
There isn’t even anything to do about it. Tuney doesn’t want to talk to her. So what. It’s fine. She just needs to forget about the text and then it will all be fine. But the text remains on her lit up screen in front of her. Lily sits in the hammock, feet hanging out the side and lightly pushing off the ground to swing ever so slightly. Her eyes stare ahead, not at the beautiful scenery thought. Just at her phone. Lingering, getting stuck, on her sister’s name.
It would be easier if she could just chuck her phone into the woods.
“Lils?” They call from behind.
“Oh hi.” She doesn’t even bother trying to perk up. That’s not something they have to do with Sirius.
“Can I join?”
They hop in, nearly sending Lily flying out from the imbalance. Her phone drops as she catches herself. And it’s as simple as that. Now she’s not looking at the text. It’s not in front of her, so it’s okay. Back to how it was before her mum sent it. All just in her head.
“Finally going to let yourself relax?” They tease.
“I just want to make sure everyone is having a good time.” Sirius settles in and leans their head back.
“That’s not your job, you know. Plus everyone is having fun. This is the best thing we’ve ever done.”
For the last few months, Sirius spent nearly all of their time planning. Lily of course helped whenever they could and generally just kept the plan going. Sirius isn’t known to be the most organised, but they can definitely rally everyone to whatever ideas they have. This is really all they’ve talked about for so long. It’s not their fault, this really is the best thing they could have done. This is the last summer they technically have. One more year of uni and then they all have to get jobs and be real people.
So this is the last summer of just existing and having fun. It’s not a last hurrah, they all have each other always. No one is leaving each other, no matter how far away in distance any of them may get after school. But it will probably get hard to have all of them together for this long. Lily will never complain, she loves spending time with everyone.
“Right but,”
“No. Enjoy it yourself. I know you and I know you’ll make sure everyone is having fun before yourself, so I’m telling you to think about yourself for once.” She’s stern, but only because she loves them.
“I am.” Sirius responds short.
She lets it go, knowing that he’ll bring it up again if he needs to. He’s good at talking. “Alright good then. How are things over in your cabin? James still on the couch?”
He bursts out laughing, they have a very contagious and sweet laugh. Their head falls forward, hair falling in front of their eyes, but they tuck the front strands behind their ears. Lily laughs along, of course James is still on the couch. They’re too nice to push Regulus and he’s too stubborn to give in yet.
“Oh yeah they are. I’m thinking two more days. If it’s longer than that I’ll have him just squeeze in with me and Remus.”
“How’s that going anyway? You’ve barely spent any time with him from what I’ve seen.”
She can’t help but pry now that he’s been mentioned.
“It’s not. Apparently.” Sirius groans loud enough for the whole lake to hear them.
“You can do something about that you know.” She so easily says it to him, knowing she’s being a hypocrite. But why bother thinking about that,it’s not like it is going to change for her. “You both like each other.”
“Well obviously.”
“So… You have options there. You can either talk it out or fuck it out.”
They stare back at her, clearly not expecting that. But really, those are the options. And Lily is pretty sure they have already been doing the latter, so talking is the next step for Sirius if they want anything more. On the other hand, neither have happened for Lily and she doubts either will any time soon. This trip is a chance for it, but really that’s slim anyway.
“You have a point Evans.” They laugh. “Not sure how to do that though.”
“Do I really have to explain it to you? Well, when two people really like each other, that’s not actually a requirement, but you know. When two people really like each other they will take things probably to a private place, unless you’re into the whole exhibitionism thing…”
Sirius kicks her, not very hard but enough to get her to stop talking. “I am aware of how sex works, thank you very much.”
“Ohhhh so you wanted to know how to talk?” She plays dumb just to tease them. “Yeah I can’t help you there.”
“Of course you can’t. No one knows how.” They sigh.
“It’s okay. You have time. All next year at school too if nothing happens this summer. Remus isn’t going anywhere and I can tell he’s just as obsessed with you.” Everyone knows it, she’s not just spilling secrets left and right.
“Right yeah. Next year.” Sirius goes quiet.
Their last year of school is coming up and most of them are excited. Also a little nervous. She’s pretty sure that they fall into the nervous part. More about the fact of what comes after. There isn’t any certainty after uni is over. And knowing Sirius, they love having everyone close. So the possibility that they won’t have that soon, well yeah that probably freaks them out a bit.
“I don’t mean after, but you have that too. You’re not losing anyone after uni.”
“No, I know. It’s okay. School yeah. Can we er- talk about something else?”
Her chest tightens, she hates saying the wrong thing. That’s never her intention. But somehow she always messes things up. With friends it’s hardly an issue, and if it ever is, it’s something that can just be brushed off. One second it’s weird and then everything is okay again. Except Lily doesn’t stop thinking about it. They mull it over and beat themself over the head with every little thing they say wrong until they know to never do it again.
Like now, they won’t mention school or next year again with Sirius. If they don’t want to talk about it for whatever reason, then Lily won’t bring it up. At least they know what it was this time. She hasn’t stopped thinking about her sister though. About what was the final straw for Tuney to stop talking to her. Maybe she’ll never know and she’ll never be able to fix it.
“Of course yeah.” They shake it off, and it’s clear that Sirius has too. They’re okay. “What’s on the plan for tomorrow?”
“If it’s nice outside, then I have some games for us to play. If it’s not, then I have some games for us to play… in the rain.” Just like that, they’re back to normal and the air is lighter.
The next day isn’t nice. Just to their luck. At first it’s just a chill in the air and some fog. The fog slowly turns to mist as they’re outside playing games with a ball on the pavement. By early afternoon it’s fully raining. When they all go inside for lunch, they don’t make it back outside. Sirius tries to rally everyone, but they all already changed into comfy clothes and settled in to just lounge around.
It’s nice having two cabins, though when it’s raining it does get annoying. All of them want to spend time together but that means at least four of them have to trek between the two getting soaked in the process. An umbrella is futile because the wind blows streams of water at them regardless. But Lily managed to get everyone into their cabin. Sirius offers to be the one to run back over and get another change of clothes for everyone who wants it. Just in case anyone is cold and wants a jumper.
When they come back through the door, they look like a wet dog, hair stuck to their face and wet clothes hanging off their shoulders. It’s really only a five minute walk, at the absolute most, between the houses. But it’s also muddy and a full on downpour. So maybe they need to figure out something better for the next time it rains. They won’t be lucky enough to only have one rainy day across the two months. Let alone for it to be the first week.
“Anyone have a towel?” Sirius stands in the doorway, water dripping off them.
“I’ve got it!” Mary says since she is already standing.
She disappears into their room and returns a moment later with a towel and helps to dry her off a bit before wrapping her hair up to sit on top of her head. Sirius, no longer bringing rain with them, comes fully into the cabin and quickly changes into comfortable clothes. Dorcas brings over the last mug of hot cocoa and they just hold it in their hands to warm up.
Cold summer days are always weird, but they can make the best of it. Sirius was bummed that the rest of their game day didn’t work out, but there is plenty more time. There has barely been a dent made in this trip, no use rushing through all of the plans. But they have so many, they want to get to it all. She can see they just want everyone to have fun.
Music is playing in the background, just something soft and chill. Off in one corner, where there is a large comfortable chair, Regulus sits reading his book. He seems to be content, no one bothers him. Sitting on the floor in front of the couches, James and Marlene are working on a puzzle. It gets a bit heated, and almost no progress has been made. The rest of them stay out of it, not daring to mess with the ‘strategy’ that James has. They can get a bit too into puzzles.
“This cocoa is really good, is there more?” Sirius asks.
“You already finished it?” Peter asks. “I haven’t even finished mine. You shouldn’t get more before I do, you just got here.”
“Well sorry I offered to bring you dry clothes Pettigrew. Next time you can do that yourself.” There’s a little bite to his words, but it goes away quickly.
“There’s plenty. Don’t worry, everyone can have more.” Cas chimes in, they were the one who made it and it really is the most delicious cocoa Lily has ever had.
By the evening the rain has subsided and everyone seems to be ready for a break from each other. The puzzle only just has the border done. James and Marlene couldn’t agree on how to organise the rest of the pieces to get any more of it done. The cocoa is all gone, except for two cups that she watched Dorcas hide away for later. Dinner tonight was just whatever snacks people wanted to have, no one was in the mood to cook. Lazy days in, especially rainy ones, always seem to suck the energy out of her. Everyone else appears to feel the same.
Mary is the first to get up from the couch. “I’m going to take a shower and go read. Good night everyone!”
Knowing her, that’s code for Mary needs some time alone. Most of the time ‘alone’ to her doesn’t exclude Lily, and they know that. But they’ll give her space right now. It’s only been a few days of such close quarters, but they don’t want her to get tired of them too quickly. They just nod at her, knowing they’ll talk again tonight before going to sleep. They always do.
Unfortunately there is no sunset tonight, the sun didn’t come out once today. If there had been, Lily would have dragged everyone out to look at it. It’s just an even darker sky of grey now. It’s okay though there will be more sunsets. Tomorrow is supposed to be nice again, they can sit on the edge of the lake and watch it then.
“I think it’s not too bad out now, we could get back before the rain picks up again.” Sirius suggests after not much longer.
The rest of them seem in agreement, so they start grabbing their things to bring back over to their cabin. Regulus is the first out the door, predictably so. It’s a shock that he stayed as long as he did, or even that he came at all. Maybe he’s warming up to the group. Or maybe he just wanted cocoa. The four follow him out the door and to the path that connects the cabins. Leaving just Marlene, Dorcas, and Lily.
They’re not all that loud as a group, but with the people cut in more than half it’s a stark difference. It’s only about nine or so, but they are all tired. Marlene peels off first.
“I’m going to shower, you can have it after me if that’s alright Cas?”
“Sounds good. I might go out and get some fresh air for a bit.” They nod.
Just before they walk out the back door, before Lily goes to see what Mary is up to, they look back.
“You coming Red?”
They bob their head, walking straight for the door. There is a chill from a breeze right when they walk out side by side. Not enough to need anything more than the jumpers they have on though. The wind curls in the air and through the trees brushing her hair out of her face. The leaves are rustling and if she didn’t know it was summer, it could be a warm autumn night.
Lily follows without question, letting them lead. They leave the back porch, finding the pathway that leads all the way down to the water. Usually silence freaks her out, but not with them. With Dorcas it’s nice. Nothing needs to be said, neither of them are trying to fill the air. They can both just be.
Just before they reach the dock, her foot slips. An arm reaches out to catch her before she has the chance to fall. Barely anything but her foot notices the movement. That and the skin of her back where Dorcas’ hand remains. It’s on fire. Skin prickling and she just tries to ignore the feeling. It doesn’t mean anything.
The rest of the way they lead her to the dock. Just keeping the lightest touch on her. There’s no reason to. Her feet are planted firmly on the ground now. The wood of the dock is much more firm than the muddy grass. No chance of her slipping again, but Dorcas holds her anyway. Until they sit at least. Feet dangling off the end of the dock just above the glassy water that’s settled with the rain gone. Unmoving.
They pull a spliff from the pocket of their hoodie and hold it out. Lily takes it in her lips. Watching intently as Dorcas slips the lighter out with their other hand and cups around the end to block the wind. It only takes one try for them to light it and she inhales. Smoke fills her lungs. Freeing her mind, loosening her up. She lifts a hand to remove it from her mouth, holding in and then releasing the smoke to the air between them.
“Here,” She passes it to them.
“You alright?” Dorcas asks before repeating the same actions as her.
She only nods. They don’t need to talk, they never do.
Lily mindlessly swings her legs where they hang off the edge. There’s a small space between them, barely any. The ghost of their touch is still on her skin though, that’s not going away. With each inhale and exhale of smoke she feels it prick. But there’s nothing to do about it. She can’t tell Dorcas it’s all she can think about, that she wants more.
Too much is going on in her mind. The text she still hasn’t answered and doesn’t know how to. The worry that her sister will never speak to her again. The weight of the world. It’s not all bad, but that’s always more prominent. She’d rather not think. But if she’s going to, thinking about the feeling of their hands on them isn’t the worst option. Thinking of all that they could be, the possibility of them. As the smoke takes over, it clouds the worst of it all for her.
The spliff shortens, only a few drags left. She can feel the effects, body growing fuzzy, mind slipping away. At peace. If this were Mary or even Sirius next to her, she would lean her head on their shoulder and let her eyes close. She would soften completely and end up giggling while growing sleepy. This isn’t either of them though.
This is Dorcas. She doesn’t have to try with them, but she’s different. Not a bad different, she likes who she is with them. Just different. It always just feels like she’s waiting. On the edge of a cliff, not knowing what is on the other side. She could jump, but she won’t right now. Lily will fall over to the other side when she’s ready, when the time is right. For now she’ll stand at the edge, heartbeat steady.
“You can finish it off.” Lily passes the spliff back, just the smallest bit remains.
They take it and then gently reaches out to take Lily’s face in their hand. Smoke goes into their lungs, but they hold it there. Cas’ thumb gently runs across their bottom lip and guides their mouth open. Lily lets it happen, eager, wanting. They exhale, releasing the smoke, blowing it into their mouth. She breathes it in, breathes them in.
Dorcas presses their thumb against her closed mouth before pulling away. “Only fair to share the last drag.”
Releasing the breath keeps Lily from having to respond. Just a nod. Always just a nod. Dorcas takes her breath away, they take all words away. No wonder she doesn’t take her own advice and talk. No words exist when they’re together.
“Ready to head in?” They push themself up and reach a hand out to Lily. And so they walk back without saying anything more.
What’s there to say but everything?
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
REGULUS
The third night and the fourth night he doesn’t let James in again. But he does go to sleep and close the door after they have everything they need. It’s a step in the right direction. According to apparently everyone else. Annoyingly, James thinks it means that they are growing on him. In reality, he’s just tired of having to be questioned about why he hates James and called mean every day by multiple people. It’s not hard to just go to bed later, it’s not like he’s usually asleep when they want to get a change of clothes from their bag. Which by the way they could just keep outside of the room.
It’s on the fifth night that he gives in. Under the condition that they stop pestering him during the day. The others in their cabin have long since gone to sleep, or at the very least retreated to their rooms. It’s late. Regulus is lingering on the porch, texting his friends and seeing if they’re around to talk on the phone. They’re one hour off in terms of time zones right now, so it’s later for them. No one is.
“Hey er- are you busy?” James asks, standing just barely outside.
“It’s past midnight.” He states. “No, what do you need? I left the room open so you can do what you need before going to sleep.”
“Well I ah, I was wondering if we could figure out a way I can sleep in a bed… The couch isn’t very comfortable.”
He really should have expected this. But he also expected someone else to graciously let them squeeze into their beds instead first. “I’m not spending the rest of the two months sharing a bed with you. I don’t like you.”
They come closer, allowing them to talk in softer voices and not risk waking anyone else up. He scratches at the back of his neck, obviously nervous. Regulus isn’t trying to be purposefully awful to them. Or maybe he is, but that shouldn’t matter. He’s not his friend. He is Sirius’ and is the reason Sirius has a family that he thinks about more than him. There are many reasons he can think of that he should be allowed to dislike and brush off James. And hardly any, none in fact, that he needs to like him or be the slightest bit nice to them.
“Right yeah of course. I’ll figure something out. But tonight? Would that be okay?” Regulus immediately rolls his eyes, contemplating how to get out of this. “We can put a wall of pillows between us. I don’t even move in my sleep. You can have all of the covers too.”
“Alright.”
“Alright? Really?” They eagerly look at him, eyes wide and bright.
Regulus stands and walks to the door inside, expecting him to follow. When he doesn’t, he turns around and waves him on. “Yes, alright. But if you even so much as brush against me in the middle of the night I will cut off whatever part of you crosses the pillow.”
He’s honestly not sure why he does it. If he let himself figure it out, he wouldn't like the answer. Something pulled him to do it, something he doesn’t like, something he really doesn’t want to think about. It’s just one night, Regulus tries to tell himself. One night is fine. One night is nothing. It’s if it turns into more than one night that he’ll have to confront the feeling in his chest. Or he could continue ignoring it, that’s what he will more than likely do.
And so James gets to sleep in a bed on the fifth night. Regulus on the other hand, spends the majority of the night awake in that very same bed staring at the ceiling.