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Rose's childhood memories were foggy and complicated.
Rose Belle Evans, the third daughter whom her parents did not expect but welcomed very much.
It is said that when twins are in the womb, one baby takes in more nutrients than the other. This sometimes makes it impossible to have identical twins.
Rose was always on the weak side in health, she had visited the hospital more times than her skinny hands could count, and she had slept in white rooms more times than her young mind could remember.
However, although small, there are still memories of the house.
Her home was nice and quiet, with a kind and gentle mother, a cheerful and strong father, a responsible older sister and caring twins, and the scent of flowers in the garden always wafted through the house.
Some of her memories were different, of little evenings in the park at the end of the street, and magic hands making shining butterflies.
She remembers being happy when the slightest light came from the flowers and butterflies from her hands, and that she showed it to both Lily and Petunia alike.
Then later, Rose only saw Lily's wide smile, and Petunia's gentle smile faded from her memories.
On good days, there was the slightest hint of happiness in Petunia's face, and on bad days, Rose couldn't even see her face.
Lily, still the same, was as buoyant and interested as ever.
“Lily, why is my sister so angry?”
One day, Rose asked Lily, who was playing with her.
"I don't know." A sad look passes over Lily's face.
When everything was messed up, when Rose's relationships fell apart, when she lost an important opportunity, it was a day to remember.
It was a bad day, she lost consciousness and needed to go to the hospital, so her parents had to leave Petunia and Lily home alone.
Lily received an invitation to a magical school, Petunia did not receive one.
Screaming and fighting was all Rose saw when she returned home in the evening with her parents.
When things calmed down, Lily confirmed her desire to go, and Petunia flatly refused.
Rose had no choice. Unlike her sisters, Rose had no choice whether to go or not, as her parents refused to let her leave the impregnable fortress they had created for her.
After that, most nights were cold, without Lily's warm hugs or Petunia's soothing words.
When Lily visited home again, she always talked about her adventures at the magical school, the magic they were learning and the future that awaited her.
Sometimes when Rose begged too much, Lily would lend her some of her books, with warnings to never use magic outside of school. The school she couldn't attend.
Rose was curious, with the ability to start fire or make things out of thin air, communicate with imaginary animals and create potions that worked the impossible.
So secretly, somewhere in the dark attic, Rose dared to use magic.
The bright, sparkling butterflies and stars that flew in the air were something she was forbidden from doing in front of her older sister, not even when she wasn't there, for fear of such matters for her health.
It was soothing, a slight but palpable relief spreading through her chest as she used her magic.
She didn't use a wand like her sister, not that she could ever have one, nor even a pretty fluttering dress like the one Lily wore to school.
In fact, she wasn't allowed to have anything similar to what Lily had, she didn't go to school, she didn't learn magic, and she didn't get to celebrate her return from school at the end of the summer.
Rose knows it's nothing important, Lily is studying at a boarding school while she doesn't, it's clear there will be a difference between them.
She knows this and realizes it, that she is not supposed to feel jealous or sad because her sister always got more than her, the hospital bills were proof that she was already a burden, she could not ask for more.
Selfish desires, unquenchable envy and burning jealousy.
This was how Rose felt about Lily for years, even though she always maintained the "sisterly" charade on the outside.
At one point, Rose finds that she gets along with Petunia in some ways.
Rose didn't want to talk about magic, it was a constant reminder of her other half who was somewhere in London.
Of course, Rose hid her desire to learn magic.
Losing one sister was enough, she never needed to lose another.
So she kept up the charade, being Petunia's maid of honor at her wedding, attending her birth and even helping raise Dudley, she organized their parents' funeral and she did it all.
Even when Lily stopped visiting and never came home, Rose continued the charade.
The charade of a good and sad daughter, who is not at fault for the loss of her family.
What a ridiculous thing.
If they knew the truth, they might actually hate her.
The fact that she was a disgusting hater and a jealous envious person.
Maybe that's why Lily left them, because of her bad little sister.
And in the end, no matter what she does, she's still the one and only Rose Belle Evans.
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