Chapter 22
Barty never was one to listen to Taylor Swift.
But here he was, listening to RED (Taylor’s Version) for Evan. He was halfway through ‘the very first night’ when his door opened and Evan walked in. He gave Barty a weird look and sat down beside him on his bed.
‘You’re listening to Taylor Swift? What’s wrong with you, dude?’ Evan asked, his brows furrowed. Barty frowned at him. ‘I thought your nose was still healing from the surgery?’ Barty asked him, but when he blinked again, Evan’s nose was indeed healing from nose surgery. ‘Oh nevermind,’ he muttered, still frowning.
Evan chuckled lowly and slowly moved closer to Barty. Barty frowned at him. ‘Ev? What, what are you doing?’ Barty stammered, his stomach tying itself into knots at how close Evan was coming to him.
Evan grinned at him and pushed Barty back down on the bed. He sat on top of Barty, straddling him and slowly running a hand over Barty's stomach. Barty could feel goosebumps erupt everywhere Evan’s hands trailed. ‘Ev?’ Barty whispered to him, reaching out to tug Evan closer by his shirt.
‘What? What’s wrong my darling?’ Evan asked softly. His eyes fell from Barty’s eyes, down to his lips, to his chest which was now bare of a shirt, though Barty could swear he was wearing one minutes ago.
‘No, no nothing. Go on,’ Barty said, smiling at Evan who took that as a cue to slowly lower himself and kiss Barty. His kisses were wet and sloppy. They went from his lips, to his jaw, to his neck. Evan lingered there, softly sucking at the skin.
Barty could hear himself gasp softly.
It felt so good.
He felt his whole body erupt in flames.
It felt like he was warming up from the inside.
But suddenly, the feeling was gone.
Before Barty knew it, Evan was towering over him. He was standing up, and Barty was strapped to a chair. It was dark in the room. RED wasn’t playing anymore.
‘You really thought I’d give you a chance after all you’ve done to me? I have to be crazy for that to happen, Crouch.’ And then he stabbed Barty. Multiple times.
Barty only woke up when the pain of the knife was dull and his eyes filled completely with blackness, replacing the black spots dancing in front of his eyes from minutes ago.
‘Fuck,’ he softly muttered, while he looked at the state of his blanket. Half off his bed, along with his pillow that was on the floor. His back was drenched in sweat. He winced and stood up from out of his bed, walking over to the bathroom to take a piss.
The dreams really had to stop.
They were fun at first, you know? Only showing him his desires and not his fears.
But now, they more often than not ended in some variation of Evan torturing or killing him. Barty sighed deeply and he walked back to his door.
‘Barty? What are you doing awake at this hour?’
Barty turned around sharply at the sound of Evan’s voice coming from the other end of the hallway. ‘Oh. Uh. Hi,’ Barty stammered. Evan gave him a weird look and raised his eyebrow. ‘Your nose is healing from nose surgery.’
‘Yeah? Has been for a week now, Barty. What’s up?’ Evan asked him, slowly walking over towards Barty. Barty got nervous though, and stepped back to grab the handle of his bedroom door. Evan noticed it, and stepped back. ‘Oh. Are you… Did I do something? Or..?’ Evan trailed off. He looked genuinely clueless.
Barty’s dreams were really fucking with his head.
Of course Evan didn’t do anything. But dream Evan just killed Barty for the third time in his dreams.
‘No, no you’re good. I’m just a bit tired, so I’m going to try and sleep again.’ Barty turned around to grab the door handle of his bedroom again. ‘Oh. Okay. Goodnight, I guess…’ Evan muttered softly, after which Barty nodded once, quickly, and opened his door. He closed it immediately the moment he passed through and slid down against it.
He needed to find out how to stop his dreams about Evan.
Fast.
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Evan had never taken Barty to be a romantic.
Barty was the type of guy to fuck and dash, as established many times before. But here barty was, in a nice suit, blood red rose in his hand. He held it out with a dashing grin. ‘A rose, for my rose.’
‘Uh… Hi, Barty. I uh, what are you doing here?’ Evan asked, which made Barty frown. ‘I’m taking you on a date, my love. You’re all dressed up to go, did you change your mind?’ Barty asked him, suddenly nervous. When Evan looked down at his clothes, however, he did see that he was all dressed up nicely, much like Barty.
‘Oh. No, I didn’t forget. Let’s go,’ Evan muttered, grabbing the rose, and smiling at Barty when he took his hand.
They went to a restaurant, where Evan knew they laughed and talked a lot, though Evan didn’t know what they talked about. They were now on the beach, Evan’s head on Barty’s chest. Barty was treading his fingers through Evan’s hair softly, humming a familiar tune.
‘I had the most wonderful time tonight with you, Evan,’ Barty said, breaking the comfortable silence. Evan moved to face Barty, now laying beside him in the sand instead of on top of him. ‘Me too, Barty. This was really great,’ Evan whispered softly, smiling at Barty.
Barty grinned at him, and pulled Evan closer, so that Evan was half on top of him again. Evan’s cheeks flushed red, and he looked away from Barty. ‘No, keep your eyes right here, my rose. I want to look at you,’ Barty whispered softly. Evan was surprised to hear Barty speak so kind and soft, it wasn’t really something that happened too often, after all.
Evan’s gaze fell back on Barty’s face, and he was almost immediately met with Barty’s lips on his.
It was wonderful.
It was just as last time, still so good.
Barty was humming treacherous.
What they were doing was wrong.
It wasn’t good.
It wasn’t okay.
A cold dread settled over Evan as he broke away and his eyes fell to his chest, which was now ripped open and bleeding. When his eyes shot up to Barty’s, they were cold.
‘You’re not a good person, Evan. I checked, you have no heart. You’re cold as stone, even worse than Regulus. I could never love someone like you.’
Evan stared at Barty as Barty’s face twisted into James’ face. James’ crying face.
‘You ruined me, Evan. I gave my heart and you just ripped it out. But my heart is too big for your chest, so it’s useless for you to steal.’
James’ face twisted again, into Regulus’.
‘I thought you were my friend, but I guess not.’
The face twisted again. Evan wanted to scream, cry, throw up, run away, but he was rooted to the spot.
‘I’m proud of you, my son.’
And then he woke up.
He wiped at his face, to find it completely dry. His blankets were still the same as when he fell asleep, his phone still beside his pillow where it fell out of his hands after he fell asleep. He sighed deeply, shook his head and sat up in his bed.
He pulled a shirt over his head and made his way to the kitchen to grab something to drink. He gulped down a glass of water awfully quick, before he heard the sound of a door closing. His head shot up and he frowned.
He walked over to the hallway, where he found Barty facing his bedroom door. ‘Barty? What are you doing awake at this hour?’
Barty made a sharp turn to face Evan, his bright blue eyes finding Evan’s. Even if it was dark around them, they seemed to shine. Like lightning in a starless sky.
‘Oh. Uh. Hi,’ Barty stuttered, which earned him a weird look from Evan.
Why was he so nervous? Had Evan done something wrong?
Was he regretting the kiss?
Was he regretting Evan?
‘Your nose is healing from nose surgery.’
It was more a statement rather than a question, which made Evan even more confused.
‘Yeah? Has been for a week now, Barty. What’s up?’ Evan asked him. He subconsciously moved closer to Barty, which he only noticed when Barty quickly stepped back to avoid him. He grabbed the handle of the door, after which Evan got the hint and stepped back again.
‘Oh. Are you… Did I do something? Or..?’ Evan asked, not being able to help the confusion nor hurt in his voice.
I could never love someone like you.
But it was a dream, right?
Right?
‘No, no you’re good. I’m just a bit tired, so I’m going to try and sleep again.’ Barty turned around to grab the door handle of his bedroom again.
Avoidance. Of course. That’s how Evan always deals with a situation he doesn’t want to find himself in.
‘Oh. Okay. Goodnight, I guess…’ Evan muttered softly, only getting a curt nod from Barty, who disappeared through his bedroom door as soon as he was able to.
When Evan was sure Barty had left the door, he sighed deeply and slid down against it.
What was he doing wrong? Why didn’t he just, not mess up everything for himself?
Tears fell from his eyes silently before he even noticed them, and he was too tired to stop them from falling.
Always the friend, never the best friend.
Always the love, never the lover.
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Sirius heaved a deep sigh and let himself slide underneath his motorcycle again.
He motioned to James to give him his tools, while muttering ‘I still can’t believe you’re okay with all this.’
James muttered ‘huh?’ and handed him another tool while Sirius continued to tinker. ‘Evan. He just broke up with you out of nowhere,’ Sirius said, which earned him a deep sigh from James. ‘It wasn’t out of nowhere. He just realised he was still in love with Barty and didn’t want to hurt me any more with it.’
‘Okay, but did he tell you how he realised that? Did something happen between them?’ Sirius asked, sliding himself from underneath his motorcycle to look up at James. ‘Well, yeah,’ James’ cheeks turned pink from embarrassment. ‘So maybe they kissed.’
‘WHAT!?’ Sirius sat up, hitting his head on the edge of his motorcycle and groaning. ‘Nevermind that, THEY KISSED?! EVAN CHEATED ON YOU! FUCKING SCUMBAG!!’ Sirius stood up and marched away from the driveway, ready to throw some punches, but James stopped him by grabbing his arms.
‘No, stop. I already said I’m okay with it. He didn’t- he didn’t know. And he stopped when he realised it was bad. He immediately went to talk to me about it, too. So he handled it well,’ James hurriedly explained, but Sirius was having nothing of it. ‘No, no. Nope. Doesn’t make it right. He should’ve not done it,’ Sirius said, pulling a displeased face. ‘Sirius, that is not a good sentence,’ James softly said, but Sirius huffed. ‘And Evan is not a good person, but you don’t seem to acknowledge that.’
James was silent after that.
Sirius shrugged and slid back underneath his motorcycle, this time without hitting his head.
‘Dios mío! Salir! Get out!’ My god! Get out!
Sirius frowned at Effie’s angry voice, which was followed by Fleamont profusely apologising. ‘James! No estás haciendo nada útil. Come help!’ was the next thing Effie yelled from the kitchen. James heaved a sigh. ‘Wish me luck out there, Sirius,’ James muttered while standing up.
‘This is only a temporary ticket to get out of this talk!’ Sirius yelled after him, which was followed by james yelling ‘yeah yeah’ and going inside.
After a few minutes alone, Sirius heard someone sit down beside him.
‘Back again, Jamie? That was fast,’ Sirius said nonchalantly, while moving his hand around for James to give him one of the tools he always forgot the name of. ‘No, Sirius, it’s me. I heard a talk was in order?’
Sirius frowned and pushed himself from under his motorcycle. ‘Monty? A talk? About what?’ He frowned. ‘A talk about love, perchance?’ Monty gave him a cheeky smile, which reminded Sirius of James. ‘Love? I’m not in love. I don’t know what love even is. I never, we never do this. You always do this with James, and I do it with Effie,’ Sirius hurriedly said, grabbing a tool just so he could slide himself back underneath his motorcycle.
‘I know, but you’re not talking with Effie about it, so I want to talk with you about it. Let’s start with stuff you know, okay? What are you doing?’ Monty asked in a calm voice, seemingly understanding how Sirius’ brain works, because he answered question after question without thinking twice about it.
‘I’m fixing my motorcycle, because it was getting old and my brakes were rusting.’
‘Okay, and what did you eat last night?’
‘Effie’s lovely cooking.’
‘What’s your favourite colour?’
Sirius pushed himself from underneath the motorcycle and grabbed another tool. ‘Brown. But not just… brown. But… A very specific kind. You know? Like chocolate, but not really. A little lighter,’ Sirius said, but before he could push himself underneath the motorcycle again, Monty grabbed his arm. ‘Brown like the eyes of a very specific person?’ His gaze was loaded from the question he was asking, but Sirius only frowned.
‘Like James’? No, a little lighter than that,’ Sirius said, before looking at Monty and realising what he meant. ‘Oh.’
Oh indeed.
So, yes, Monty was right.
Sirius gave him a shocked look, before hurriedly pushing himself underneath his motorcycle again and twisting something, which made his brakes break and fall on his head.
‘Sirius, be careful!’
‘I’m fine!’
He sighed deeply and threw the loose brake away, before grabbing the other one and starting to attach it.
‘It’s not a shame to like him, you know. You can. It’s normal,’ Monty said, still awfully calm. Jeez, if James was going to be so calm and wise in a few years, Sirius would riot.
‘Normal? It’s not. He is my friend, Monty. It’s weird to like him,’ Sirius muttered, sighing after he said it. ‘It’s not. Sometimes that’s just how things happen, Sirius. You can’t really help it,’ Monty said, calmly handing Sirius the tool he needed to attach the brakes.
‘Okay… But still,’ Sirius said, like that made sense. To James it always made sense, but to Monty it didn’t.
‘Still what?’
Sirius was silent for a moment, attaching the final screw to the brake and sliding from underneath his motorcycle, now completely dirty from tinkering.
‘What if… You know,’ he started, looking at Monty as if he’d know everything. ‘I don’t know, Sirius. You gotta help me a bit here.’
‘What if he doesn’t like me back?’
And oh, Monty looked ready to sucker punch him.
Sirius just blinked quickly at him, as if Monty’s face would twist into something sweeter and understanding if he kept blinking. Spoiler alert, it didn’t.
‘Sirius, my dear son. I have seen you and Remus grow up. I have seen you make heart eyes at each other when the other wasn’t looking. I have heard him cry silently every time you didn’t sleep over during summer break because you found another bed to keep warm that wasn’t his. If you dare say something as stupid as ‘what if he doesn’t like me?’ again, I fear I may have to grab one of Effie’s oven mitts and hit you until you realise you’re in love with that boy.’
Sirius was silent for a second, contemplating Monty’s words.
Monty just looked at him silently, taking him in. He was really good at that. Just looking and knowing. Regulus must’ve liked that about Monty. He is really good at that too.
‘So, you say… Just go for it?’ Sirius asked him after a while, a smile slowly creeping up his face. ‘Yes. Maybe clean up first, but after, Sirius? Where are you going? Sirius!’ Monty’s shouts followed Sirius all the way to the backyard where Remus was reading in the shade.
Remus looked up confused when he saw Sirius walking up to him. ‘Sirius? Is your motorcycle fixed? What’s-’
And Sirius had never felt better.
Remus kissed exactly how Sirius imagined he would. He tasted exactly like Sirius thought he would. But the feeling it gave to Sirius was so different from what he expected.
Sirius now had no other option than to agree that he was very much in love with a certain man.
And that certain man was Remus Lupin.