Seriously Potter?
Harry said he was going to sleep till noon, and he meant it.
In fact, no one in the Grimmauld household got up until 12:30pm. At which point, Kreacher was the first to rise and made brunch for the two tired wizards.
Snape woke up next at 12:40pm after the smell of brunch wafted up far enough to reach him.
He then promptly realized that he needed to empty his bladder and didn't know how he was going to get to the bathroom without falling and breaking his neck. Never mind that it's a connecting bathroom and he only has to go a few steps to get to it. He knows that if he stands up right now, he'll fall over. Since he didn't drink enough water yesterday, only drinking some with the bagels, dehydration is a bitch. He's going to have to call Potter to help him isn't he? Damn it.
He grabs his wand and casts a message patronus and blinks in surprise as it has changed. Although now that he thinks about it, it wasn't surprising that it had changed with so much taken off of his shoulders by the war ending. His guilt, while still there, was lessened due to Harry surviving, although some more guilt is on him as he couldn't protect everyone from the Carrows. He didn't have to pretend to be someone else anymore because he no longer needed to spy. He was free of the two masters that he foolishly chose, one more foolish than the other.
What was surprising though was the fact that the patronus was now a Thestral. Magical patronuses are rare, much less a Thestral. Though the irony of having a Thestral patronus after almost dying is not missed on him.
The patronus nudged him with its nose trying to make sure that he was alright which startled him back into the present, and his pressing need to relieve himself.
Right contemplate later, get help, so that he can empty his bladder, now. He speaks to it, "Potter, it seems as if I require your assistance to get to the bathroom, as I am dehydrated and will surely crack my head open if I attempt to stand without assistance." He paused for a moment before adding, "The change of my patronus is not important currently and can be contemplated later if you do not wish for blood to stain your carpet as I will attempt to get up by myself if you do not show up quickly." And he sends it to the next room over to wake Harry up.
*POV Harry*
Harry groans as something nudges his shoulder. He tries to roll over and go back to sleep but is nudged again, this time on his cheek.
Harry's eyes pop open to a patronus in his face.
"Gah!" He scrambles backward and almost off the bed in surprise, before it clicks in his brain what he's seeing.
He grabs his glasses and jams them on his face right before the patronus starts speaking.
"Potter, it seems as if I require your assistance to get to the bathroom, as I am dehydrated and will surely crack my head open if I attempt to stand without assistance." Snape's voice comes from the patronus.
Of course, Snape would wake him up with a patronus to help him get to the bathroom because he didn't take care of himself and drink enough water. Wait, that's a Thestral, not a doe.
Snape continues right after Harry realized the change, "The change of my patronus is not important currently and can be contemplated later if you do not wish for blood to stain your carpet as I will attempt to get up by myself if you do not show up quickly." The patronus fades since its message is complete.
Fine, dramatic ass bitch, you don't have to threaten him, he would have helped. Wait, Snape must really have to pee if he's threatening him.
Harry gets up with a chuckle and walks over to and through the connecting bathroom, said bathroom connects the rooms to each other.
*End POV*
Severus hears Harry wake up in surprise and then the message plays through. He then hears Harry chuckle before footsteps move in the other room.
The bathroom door pops open as a very disheveled, but in a good mood, Potter sticks his head through.
"You must really need to go pee if you had to threaten me." The brat grins cheekily.
"Of course, the bathroom connects our two rooms. Now shut up and help me." Snape snaps irritably.
"Alright, alright." Potter holds up his hands in mock surrender while he enters the room fully, before walking over to help the grumpy wizard.
He stands up with his arm slung over Potter's shoulder as Potter's arm braces his back. It's a good thing too since as soon as he stood up fully his vision started going black around the edges encroaching on the center of his vision. He leaned heavily on Potter, blinking furiously as he willed his vision to return.
"Whoa, you weren't kidding when you said you were dehydrated."
"Astute observation Potter."
"Wow, that sarcasm is almost palpable. Anyways, has your vision cleared up enough to start heading over to the bathroom yet?"
He blinks a few more times before deciding that yes, his vision is as clear as it's going to get with a slight ring of black still around his vision.
"We can continue."
"Alright," Harry replies as they shuffle over to the bathroom.
Once they make it to the bathroom Harry then asks, "Do you want me to conjure/bring you a chair or something to hold on to just in case?"
Snape blinks once more as the black tries to invade his vision again and grips onto the sink's countertop, "That may be advisable."
A stiff wooden chair pops into existence next to the toilet and a glass of water on the countertop.
"Ah right, thanks Kreacher. Anyways, I'll just wait outside and give you some privacy." Potter says as he leaves through his bedroom's door.
Snape shuffles over to the toilet grabbing on to the chair for a moment before relieving himself with a sigh. He then shuffles back over to the sink and washes and dries his hands quickly before grabbing onto the countertop as his vision threatens to leave him again. Once he stabilizes out again, he grabs the glass of water and drinks it slowly before setting the empty glass back down.
The single glass of water already helped a decent bit seeing as his vision was back to normal and wasn't threatening him with every movement he makes. He still isn't going to chance it before he has at least 3 glasses of water in him though.
"Potter, I'm decent again."
"Alright, ready for the return trip?" Potter asks entering the bathroom again. Harry had obviously looked in a mirror since the last time he saw him, as Harry's hair, while still messy, was its usual state of messiness rather than the disheveled state it was earlier.
Severus fixes him with a look, "I wouldn't have said anything if I wasn't."
"Things can always change," Harry points out with a chuckle, before holding out his arm for Snape seeing that he was much steadier on his feet.
Severus grabs onto the proffered arm, as they exit the bathroom and make it back to the bed without further incident.
"Alright next decision, do you want company for brunch, or have you already tired of my presence?" Potter asks with mirth dancing behind emerald eyes.
"And let you out of my sight? The moment I take my eyes off of you, you'll be getting into some sort of trouble or another," Severus snarks back.
"Hehehe..." Potter laughs nervously as he rubs the back of his neck with one hand.
"No? Seriously Potter? What did you get yourself into now!?"
"Uh, nothing?" Harry tries for a second to act innocent, but falters at the glare sent his way.
"Well, nothing bad at least! Uh so, you went to bed, but I was up for the time being, so I wrote some letters to McGonagall but then I needed to either buy an owl or send them through the Owl Post Office in Diagon. So, I went to Diagon, but no shops were open yet except for S. Starling, so I went in there and looked at the owls but none of the owls were interested in me, so since I had time to spare, I decided to look around a bit. I looked around and then I saw a Snallygaster and what looked like a phoenix close to burning and was entranced by them. Then an old man came up behind me and started a conversation with me about them. The one that looked like a phoenix was a Hoo-Hoo, basically a Japanese phoenix. And then he decided I was the perfect person to give them to since he was getting too old to take care of them and Silas, the shop's owner, was looking after them because he had gotten a cold and could barely take care of himself. The old man's name was apparently Newt, and he gave me books on the two and told me that I needed to name them, get them a ground nest and perch, and separate food and water dishes, because the Snallygaster, now named Doncaster, eats only meat, and the Hoo-Hoo, now named Kageki, only eats plants, and they won't eat if they smell each other's food in their dish. So, I bought stuff for them and came back home because apparently, they both like to deliver mail. So, Kreacher fed them, he called them my Familiars for some reason although I don't know what a Familiar is, and then they went to deliver my letters to McGonagall." Harry barely paused for breath in the whole retelling and was therefore left gasping for breath after he finished his tale.
"I have so many questions. But first why would you be writing multiple letters to Minerva? Surely one would suffice."
"Uh, heh, that would be because I'm hoping that she won't realize that Lord Hogwarts and I are the same person so she will at least stick out the rebuilding of Hogwarts," Harry offered sheepishly.
"Ignoring that you are somehow Lord Hogwarts for the moment. You really think that she won't recognize your handwriting? Even if you change it up a bit you still have clear tells," Snape asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I know, I know, but I had to at least try," Harry sighs in defeat.
"Fair point, next question. How in Merlin's name did you manage to be gifted two, not one but two, rare magical creatures by Newt Scamander of all people while going looking for a bloody post owl???"
"Your guess is as good as mine!" Harry throws his hands up in exasperation, "I can be doing the simplest of things and then suddenly, bam, here you go, have this curve ball thrown at you."
"Fair enough, next question. How did, in all of your chaos, you not hear about Familiars?"
"Didn't come up I guess," Harry shrugs, "You'd be surprised at the amount of things I don't know."
A gurgle is heard. Followed by another one from the opposite stomach.
"Apparently we are taking a brief intermission for brunch. We will be talking about the fact that you have multiple Lordships and the fact that you didn't know about Familiars afterwards though."
"And hopefully you will forget that," the brat mutters under his breath.
"I heard that."
"Fuck."