A Talk and an Unexpected Guest
After they had eaten a lovely brunch made by Kreacher of porridge with a side of bacon with topping options ranging from sweet options like fresh fruit and Plum compote to savory options like soft boiled eggs and avocado.
"Kreacher really out did himself," Harry remarked, wiping his mouth off with a napkin after finishing his bacon and porridge that he topped with a simple mixture of brown sugar, a hint of cinnamon, a bit of maple syrup, and banana slices.
"Oh? Does he not usually bring out this many toppings?" Snape queried after wiping his own mouth having finished his portion seconds after Harry finished his. Snape had gone for a more savory combination which consisted of cinnamon, avocado, and just a hint of maple syrup. Snape reached for his glass of water after a pointed look from Harry before Harry answered.
"Yes, I think he either wanted to impress you or wasn't sure what you enjoyed in your porridge. Usually, he just brings out a few sweet toppings to pick from. I was expecting a few sweet topping options and a few savory options to pop up, not this extensive selection of options. I'm leaning more towards him wanting to impress you."
"Indeed," Snape raises an eyebrow, "and you wouldn't have anything to do with this at all? I can't see why he would try to impress me."
"Oi, don't blame this on me! I already knew that you preferred more savory dishes, I would have had Kreacher only set out an extensive amount of savory toppings if I had anything to do with it! Plus, Kreacher obviously likes you. Probably because you are a Slytherin, or for some Slytherin related reason," Harry huffs crossing his arms and turning his head away.
"Oh, and how do you know that? I could like sweet things for all you know. Also, I know you are Slytherin enough to pretend that you don't know my preferences even if you did somehow know them."
"Please, it's easy to see you like savory dishes. Any time a dish was abnormally sweet, like that one loaded potato soup that they had in 5th year, you barely took a bite of it, versus all of the other more savory dishes which ended up completely finished. Although you do have a preference when it comes to desserts for fruit sweetened things without a lot of extra sugar, caramel and sea salt, or dark chocolate..." Harry focuses back on Snape's face which is trying very hard to be indifferent but the slight twitches of the corners of his lips are betraying him, "You're messing with me aren't you."
"N-no..." Snape loses the war with his giggles, "g-go on, I-it's fascinating to l-learn exactly h-how much attention y-you pay towards me."
"Shut up, it's a habit to notice food preferences."
Snape calms back down, "Of people you hate though?" Harry's mind is briefly drawn towards the Dursleys before Snape continues, "If I didn't know better, I'd say that you had a crush on me."
Harry flushes slightly, "Don't even joke about that! You know how sometimes kids will look at pictures of their parents and go, 'How was my parent that hot?' That was me toward your fucking potions book! I had a crush on the boy in your potions book before I knew it was you and now it's weird because you could have ended up as my dad or one of my honorary uncles had circumstances been slightly different."
They pause while what was said sinks in, Snape because it was a surprise to learn that Harry's type was his teenager self, and that Harry thought that he could have been his dad or uncle had things been different. And Harry because he hadn't expected to reveal all that to Snape.
Snape goes to say something, but gets cut off by an embarrassed Harry, "Nope, we are not talking about this anymore, find a different topic."
"Alright then we're talking about the fact that you have multiple Lordships and the fact that you didn't know about Familiars."
"Damn it."
"Let's start with how you have more than just the Potter and Black Lordships, and how you found out about them."
"Uh, so you know how we broke into and out of Gringotts to get a horcrux? And that they're now doing an audit of all accounts?"
"Go on."
"It might actually be easier to just show you, hold on a moment," Harry runs to grab the initial letter from Gringotts and the inheritance test results from his room.
When he comes back, he shoves the letter at Snape, "Here read this first."
Snape grabs the letter and starts reading it aloud for some reason.
~~~~~
Dear Harry James Potter,
We the Goblins of Gringotts bank would like to first and foremost apologize for the gross mishandling of your assets. Upon setting up an audit of all our accounts, we were quite displeased when we found out what exactly you needed to retrieve from the Lestrange's vault as we would not allow such a cursed thing to be near us under normal circumstances, we came across the matter that you had not gotten sent any of the normal account statements, nor gotten the summons to accept your Heirships nor Lordships when you should have.
The perpetrators of this, Griphook, Hutvess, Nagnok, Snaglok, and Uisx are, fortunately for them, dead otherwise they would have gotten the punishment they deserve for such an egregious misconduct.
Secondly, the Goblins of Gringotts bank would like to thank you for all that you have done for us. Getting rid of that foul piece of magic from our midst and taking down the one that made it who has slaughtered many a goblin. We also acknowledge that, while if you had notified us of the existence of the foul thing, we would have handed it over to you immediately for removal or let you watch as we destroyed it, you didn't know as such and thus acted within the most logical manner possible. And although you did cause massive property damage and the loss of a dragon guardian, we are willing to accept the losses to a warrior such as yourself that has rid our world of such evil.
However, this leaves the matter of claiming your rightful Lordships and settling things with your account. We must insist that you come as soon as possible to rectify these matters.
Sincerely,
Ragnrok
President Ragnrok of Gringotts Bank
~~~~~
"Yeah so, I got that right after I had cleared out Sirius's room to refurnish and redecorate it. So, I went to the bank immediately and had a meeting with President Ragnrok."
"Only you, only you would end up in a meeting with the President of Gringotts in order to settle your affairs."
"You should probably be saving those "only you" 's. You're going to feel like saying that a lot I feel. Anyways, Ragnrok had me take an inheritance test as the first order of business. I feel like this will either answer most of your questions or make you more confused, or both." Harry hands over the inheritance test.
Snape also read this out loud, 'It must be how he reads everything,' displaying a remarkable hold on his occlumency barriers in order to read through it in one go.
~~~~~
Inheritance Results of Harrison (Harry) James Potter:
Paternal Relative: James Fleamont Potter (deceased)
Maternal Relative: Lily Jade Potter Nee Evans (deceased)
Godparents: Sirius Orion Black (illegally incarcerated) (deceased), Alice Marie Longbottom Nee Fortescue (incapacitated)
Magical Guardian: Albus P. W. B. Dumbledore (illegal) (deceased)
Titles: Prophecies Chosen, The-Boy-Who-Lived, Basilisk Slayer, Horcrux Destroyer, Time Traveler, Tri-Wizard Champion, The-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice, Master of Death, Dark Lord Slayer, Goblin Friend
Abilities: Natural Animagus (100% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.), Natural Occlumens (85% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.; 15% unblocked by S.T.S. and H.J.P.), Natural Legilimens (100% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.), Parselmagic (80% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.), Eidetic Memory (80% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.)
Magic:Platinum/Grey
Lordships:
Blood inheritances: Lord Potter (Paternal)
Magic inheritances: Lord Gryffindor (Paternal), Lord Peverel (Paternal), Lord Emrys (Maternal), Lord Pendragon (Maternal), Lord Ravenclaw (Maternal), Lord Hufflepuff (Maternal), Lord Hogwarts (Has all 4 Lordships)
Conquest inheritances: Lord Slytherin (T.M.R.), Lord Gaunt (T.M.R.)
Bequeathal inheritances: Lord Black (S.O.B.)
Vaults:
Blood inheritances: Potter vaults (1 furniture, 1 artifact, 1 trust, 1 family)
Magic inheritances: Gryffindor vaults (1 family), Peverel vaults (3 vaults), Emrys vaults (1 family), Pendragon vaults (1 family), Ravenclaw vaults (1 family, 1 item), Hufflepuff vaults (1 family), Hogwarts vaults (1 item)
Conquest inheritances: Slytherin vaults (1 family), Gaunt vaults (1 family)
Bequeathal inheritances: Black vaults (1 furniture, 1 artifact, 1 book, 1 family), 13 misc. vaults from random families
Properties:
Blood inheritances: Potter (2)
Magic inheritances: Gryffindor (1), Peverel (3), Emrys (1), Pendragon (2), Ravenclaw (2), Hufflepuff (3), Hogwarts (1)
Conquest inheritances: Slytherin (1), Gaunt (2)
Bequeathal inheritances: Black (2), 6 misc. properties from random families
~~~~~
Snape put the inheritance test down before letting his anger boil over. "IF I HADN'T KILLED THAT OLD FOOL THEN, I SURE WOULD BE NOW! How dare he place blocks on your natural abilities! If your magical core wasn't this strong you would have died from the strain of trying to hold back the horcrux and having such blocks on you!"
"Oh shit, really? Uh, how does it affect me now?"
"Luckily for you, said blocks were the only thing keeping you alive after you destroyed the horcrux since you hit majority where you get a boost in magical power. Your magic was probably fighting the blocks and hoping that you would try and use the abilities which would cause them to be able to slowly chip away at the blocks. For example, take how we chipped away at the block on your Natural Occlumens. This is because you didn't have Familiars to balance out your core yet."
"So, does that mean I shouldn't get the cleansing ritual, that the Goblins have offered, done? Also, what exactly are Familiars?"
"No, now that you have your Familiars, you should make sure to bring them to the cleansing ritual. The Goblins will know what they are and how to incorporate them into the ritual so that your magic connects to the Familiars properly after being cleansed and doesn't start attacking you. Familiars are creatures that have magic that matches your magical core, they must be strong enough to take on the extra magic that you have flowing out of you to balance your magical levels out enough. They basically help to spread out your magic enough to stabilize your core from the concentrated amount of magic that you hold," Snape briefly descends into teacher mode.
"Oh, okay. Also, let me guess the last person who had two familiars was Merlin?"
"How did you guess?"
"The topic came up a few times throughout my inheritance test, and the fact that I am Lord Emrys aka. related to Merlin through my mother's side doesn't help matters much," Harry sighs.
"How many is a few?" Asks Snape now genuinely curious.
"Three times, once while giving the required amount of blood for the test, then for my magic level, and then for the fact that Lord Emrys is from Merlin."
"It's funny that Lord Emrys isn't even the most influential of those titles since you are effectively wizarding royalty due to being Lord Pendragon," Snape chuckles.
"Shut up. It's bad enough I'm Lord Hogwarts, and therefore have to oversee all matters pertaining to Hogwarts and its upkeep. Don't jinx me by mentioning royalty, I do not want to deal with any sort of hidden duties that could come from being royalty," Harry hissed in alarm. "Anyways I am never using half of my titles so that people don't realize just how much money I have. I was already wealthy with just the Potter and Black vaults; throw in the vaults I was bequeathed and the extra inherited vaults I am likely the richest bachelor in the entire wizarding world. How would I ever find a partner who likes me for me if all they can see is money and fame. I will already have a hard enough time because of my fame, let's not have them after my money as well."
"Hmm, I can see how that would be troubling. I don't have any of those problems because no-one would want to marry me anyways, even if I had a Lordship."
"Are you going to tell him, or should I?" Asked Hermione from the door, scaring the shit out of the two men.
"Hermione! What the fuck?! You about gave both of us a heart attack! How long have you been standing there?"
"Sorry Harry, but you didn't answer the door, Kreacher did, and when I asked where you were he just pointed up here. I've been here since the beginning of the Gringotts letter. I'm hurt that you didn't tell me about this before telling Professor Snape," Hermione finishes with a mock hurt look, "I thought you trusted me."
"Hermione, you know it's not like that," Harry implores, missing that it's mock hurt.
"I know Harry, I'm just messing with you."
"Ugh, why is everything and everyone messing with me today?"
"Maybe because you're extremely entertaining to mess with," chuckled Snape, at Harry's misfortune, "Anyways, what were you going to tell me?"
"You underestimate how many people would be willing to marry you. Especially now that you have Harry's defense. While we were in school, the potions section of the daily profit tended to portray you as the most eligible bachelor in the potion's realm, it included no less than 16 different quotes of people who professed their love for you. Now that you have Harry's defense, I'd expect that number to triple," Hermione informed Snape, amused as his eyes started to bug out of his head.
Snape slowly turned to Harry, "Never mind, we're both screwed." Harry nods solemnly.
"Ugh, boys, it's not the end of the world," Hermione remarks exasperated.
"You are already dating Ron who knows you practically inside and out, and you don't have to deal with rabid fans, you don't get to talk."
"Also, I would like to add that, you have just broken the news that one is very popular with the ladies to a very introverted man. An introverted man who also has no clue on how regular social interaction is supposed to work, might I add," Snape points out.
"Wait, you've never been on a date before?" Harry asks incredulously.
"The closest I've been to a date is a playdate with your mother when we were too young to even start thinking about actual dating. What do you think?" Comes the most deadpan reply that Snape can deliver, raising an eyebrow at the end.
Hermione bursts into giggles at the shade that was just thrown at Harry, as Harry is left gaping.
"Is this how he has been the whole time he's been here?" Hermione asks once she can stop giggling.
"Yes, this man is absolutely hilarious half the time with his deadpan humor. We can be talking about something normal and then he just whips out a joke out of nowhere. I swear he's making up for lost time with having to keep a mask on."
"Half the time?" Hermione asks.
"Probably more than that, but that's just because I don't find half of the stuff funny because it's about me."
"That sounds more accurate," Hermione concludes, "back on topic though. When were you going to tell me and Ron Harrison James Potter?"
"Uh, once I remembered to..." At Hermione's disappointed stare he hurries on, "I would have at least remembered to tell you guys once I got the summons to go to the ritual cleansing. Things have just been kinda hectic though."
"No, Harry, I get it. Seeing Dumbledore, someone who you had trusted, on there as someone who betrayed you in a way probably brought all of the people close to you into question," she raises a hand to forestall him, "Even if it was just for a moment, or even if it was just a lingering suspicion in the back of your head. You have seen Ron's jealousy and even my desire to know everything. You were scared at how Ron would react to you being even more wealthy than previously thought and wondering if he was being your friend just for the money/fame. As for me you were probably scared at how I would react because you likely have many tomes of books, and you know my thirst for knowledge. Whereas Professor Snape was the safe option to tell, you know for certain that he only cares about you, and you have seen it time and time again."
"I didn't even think about that, although I guess it might have been going on in my subconscious. Especially the part about Ron." Harry rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.
"Anyways, I came to check that you both hadn't killed each other, but you're getting along just fine so I'll leave you to it. I won't tell Ron anything other than you have a lot of blocks put on you by Dumbledore for now. Although I would like to know about these new Familiars when you get the chance, and I think that would be safe enough to tell Ron about too, so I suggest you tell him about your new Familiars as well. Bye, Harry. Bye, Professor Snape," Hermione says as she turns to leave.
She gets a, "Bye, Hermione."
And a, "I'm not your Professor anymore," from behind which she ignores on principle.
"What was I going to lecture you about next?" Snape asks after Hermione's departure.
"Why would I know, I'm sure it will come to you."
"Hmm, prob-ably," Snape gets broken off by a yawn, "I do believe however that it is time for an afternoon nap.
"Sure, but first you're going to drink another glass of water and go to the bathroom."
"Blast, I should have just cracked my head open on the floor, I wouldn't have to deal with your mother henning then."