“just, like, slip it in from the back” - regulus arcturus black
Regulus felt like he was being followed. Very often, actually. It most likely stemmed from being watched all his childhood. W******* and O**** watching to make sure he did the right thing. Sirius watching to make sure he didn’t do everything W******* and O**** told him to do. Pandora, Barty, Evan and Dorcas were watching to make sure he was taking care of himself. Right up to the public watching him as Spider-Man. He didn’t even necessarily dislike the intentions when he was watched, but he always felt like a thing.
A specimen , if you will, a subtle nod to his spider roots. As objectified as he could get.
Now he felt watched where he thought nobody could ever watch him: flinging himself off, around and over buildings. He didn’t really know the full extent to Deadpool’s super powers, but he knew that he had them. Could he fly? Maybe. Could he read Regulus’ mind? He sure as fuck hoped not.
But when he felt followed, his back straightened. His eyebrows tugged slightly together. His chin was raised higher than usual. His strides were larger and had more purpose. That was still something he had to unlearn. Someday. When their spirits weren’t breathing down his neck.
“Reggie, you must be there, or else I will simply pass away,” Sirius had enthusiastically stated.
He rolled his eyes and nodded slightly. “Fine. I’ll be there.”
This was two days ago, and Regulus was on his way to Sirius and Remus’ new flat. Well, he was on his way to the tube to get to their flat.
Regulus knew he was doing the thing. The thing where he stared into the distance and lost himself. It freaked out a lot of people when he started doing it mid-conversation, but in this scenario he found it acceptable, when he was trying not to get shanked by any roadmen he made eye contact with.
It had been a pretty calm night, so he had decided to stuff the suit into his backpack and threw on baggy jeans and a hoodie multiple sizes too big for him. Pandora said he looked ‘b-adorable’ (whatever that meant) in it, so it became his favourite hoodie.
When the tube came around, he immediately slinked in, threw his backpack on and sat down on the first seat he could see that was furthest away from where the general public would be standing.
He dug around his pockets for his phone, pulling it out to see multiple texts from multiple people.
infuriating bastard
reggie
reg
regulus
are u coming
hehe cumming
no but fr
regulus
regulus black
hurry up
r u sleeping
istg if ur sleeping rn
regulus.
regulus arcturus black
dude
what
r u coming to the party
yeah no shit
i’m on the tube
good job reggiekins
don’t.
call me
no wtf
i’m on the tube dumbfuck
so what
i’m not answering a call on the tube sirius
broooo
its not that deep
js call me bro
fuck you.
Regulus looked around, scanning his surroundings. There weren’t too many people near him and Sirius would’ve kept bugging him, so he decided to just call the wanker.
“YOO REGGIE!” Sirius answered as Regulus winced, aggressively turning the volume down.
“Shut up, I’m on the tube,” he hissed into the phone.
“Yeah, I know, you’ve mentioned,” Regulus could practically hear the overly dramatic eyeroll in his voice. “Are you here yet?”
“I’ve just gotten on, it’s going to be a while,”
“Okay, good. I have to run something over with you and I couldn’t reach you last night.”
“Oh yeah, I was getting wasted at Barty and Evan’s.”
“Uh huh, suuuure, anyways, I’m just gonna rip the bandaid off and tell you there will be no flirting with any of my friends.”
“I’m completely fine with that.”
“-Now I know you’re gonna- wait, what?”
“I don’t have any intention to flirt with your friends today. If they’re as annoying as you are I’d rather not interact with them at all.”
“Oh. Hurtful but at least I got my point across.”
“Is that it?”
“Uh huh, don’t worry your little virgin head about anything, Reggiekins.”
“Don’t call me that. And you know I’m not actually a virgin, right?”
Just as he was saying that, an old lady crossed into his carriage, sitting down a few seats in front of him and turning her whole body around to look at him, astounded and slightly disgusted. He sunk down in his seat, muttering a sheepish “sorry, ma’am,” and covering the lower half of his face with his hoodie.
Sirius’ voice came back on the line.
“You’re lying.”
“No?”
“WHAT. WHEN.”
“When I was around 15, 16, I think.”
He could hear Sirius spluttering on the other line, and he rolled his eyes and hung up, looking back down at the phone before another message from Sirius went off.
infuriating bastard
prongs is coming on the tube as well btw
who?
james
oh
okay
I highly doubt that we’re seeing each other though
so negative smh
just wishful thinking
stfu
hurry up
Regulus scrolled down his messages, about to reply to one of his friends when the doors were about to close and some guy came practically flying through them at the last second, huffing and puffing as if he had just ran from China.
He sat down on the nearest seat to him, which happened to be the one across from Regulus.
This would be a completely normal scenario, if the guy wasn’t hot as fuck.
They slightly made eye contact and the guy - that fucker - grinned at Regulus. A beautiful blinding grin that made Regulus’ heart shatter into a million pieces and simultaneously grow ten sizes bigger, like the Grinch. Or maybe that was just his dick.
But Regulus had an image to maintain. He raised an eyebrow at the guy, bordering on teasing and condescending, but leaning more to the condescending side.
The guy mussed up his hair and turned his attention to his phone. He mussed up his hair a lot, actually, which is probably why it was horrendously messy all the time, sticking out in every direction. But Regulus would admit, it was endearing, in a way.
Holy shit, what was he doing? Regulus, you idiot.
He shook the thoughts out of his head and looked back down at his phone, to see messages from Barty.
obnoxious twat
rggie
we’e leabingm
soon
how are you gonna get there
don’t you have to take evan and panda
nah
just ev
panda’s coming by broomstick
no way
you’re lying
nah ong no cap she said that
idk wtf she means
but pop off ig
so how are you and evan getting there
were
um
taking my motrbije
okay
wait
does that mean
yeah
im so fucked
and gay
how long are you going to let this crush go on for
the rest of time
he cant find out reg
it wouldnt be that bad
he might like you back
incredibly unlikely but whatbevir
anyways
back to that motorbike…
HES GONNA BR HOLDIN G ON TO ME
it’s not really that different to when you cuddle
STFU
anyways ill keep you updated
onmy homo crisis
please
this is going to be so entertaining
you look like a pointy shoe shut up >:(
Regulus looked up through his eyelashes while his head was still turned to his phone to peer at the hot guy sitting across from him, who was currently typing aggressively on his phone, occasionally peeking up at Regulus.
He huffed frustratedly and picked up his phone as, Regulus had done earlier.
“I literally can’t talk right now, I’m on the tube,” he winced and held his phone away from his ear as someone on the other line started yelling excitedly. He rolled his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. He finally turned back to the phone when his friend (or girlfriend?) stopped talking.
“I’m on the tube, man, yeah, I’m literally going right now, uh huh, yeah, give me a bit and I’ll- yeah, I’ll be there. Buh-bye, sugar-booger.”
Sugar-booger, what the fuck?
He turned back to his phone, going to text Evan.
annoying prick
evan rosier
yes reg
so
i hear that you and barty are coming to sirius’
well you’re making us
so yes
but the most interesting part
is
that you’re taking his motorbike
apparently
…
i’m so fucked
the miscommunication is appalling
huh
nothing
anyways i’m so done
how am i going to hold onto his waist
omg evan
what
when you’re holding onto his waist
just
like
slip it in from the back
ABSOLUTELY FOUL
REGULUS BLACK
IM LEAVING
FUCK YOURSELF
YOURE NO HELP
Regulus fumbled in his pocket for his damn ticket, getting off the tube, along with the hot guy.
Regulus was a natural slinker. That’s the only way his mode of transportation when he wasn’t Spider-Man could be described. He hid in shadows and emerged from them, he appeared behind people without them noticing, he kept his steps quiet and his head down. What you could get away with was a miracle if nobody noticed you.
Regulus’ preciseness never left when he was Spider-Man. As Regulus, he moved with the precision and grace that set him apart from a commonplace gangster. Spider-man’s job required that sort of precision when you were hanging upside down from a 20-storey building, obviously.
So that’s what he was doing: slinking. A vibrant contrast to whatever the fuck the hot guy was doing, striding with a bounce in his step. Regulus could hear his headphones from where he was walking and recognised the song as “X Gon Give it to Ya” by DMX.
Regulus’ pace quickened as he realised that guy was walking the same way as him. It wasn’t the first time Regulus had been mugged and stabbed anyway, and there wasn’t even a Spider-Man to save him.
But speaking of which…
Regulus made as sharp of a turn as he could into a nearby alley, pressing himself up against the wall for a few minutes until the guy had left and was far in front.
He grabbed his backpack and dug around for his mask, pulling it on and putting his hood over it. But the thing was, seeing Spider-Man erupt from where you were just standing with no explanation would possibly blow his identity to the guy.
Regulus turned his head to look for anything to climb up a building to at least get himself off-ground, but forgot he was still pressed up against a dirty alley wall in the dark, slamming his face into the bar of a fire escape onto the roof of the building.
He blinked in surprise for a few seconds, feeling his nose for any blood or broken bones. His hand came back from his mask damp.
Sometimes he really really really really really really really really really really really hated his life.
He shouldered his backpack, tightening the straps like a parachute (but really, if Regulus was going skydiving, he would reject the opportunity to wear a parachute) and started to climb up.
By the time he had reached the roof, the guy must have been long gone, so he decided it was time to lock in and hurry the fuck up.
🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️
It had only been one minute by the time he had webbed his way to a dark street near Sirius and Remus’ flat. Honestly, most of the streets around their flat looked like something straight out of Fight Club, minus the skyscrapers and peak Brad Pitt.
He pulled his hood and mask off, ruffling his hair and jogging up to the door. He went to knock on it, as he would if it was Dorcas’ house, or Evan’s.
But then he realised. It was Sirius’ house. Sirius had invited him to his house. It had taken 5 years, but Sirius was talking to him.
Damn.
He realised he was standing out there for a solid five minutes, just standing there. What the fuck was he doing? Sirius didn’t want to see Regulus, he wanted to see Reggie, the five-year-old who was dependent on Sirius and wasn’t essentially fucked in the head like normal Regulus was.
Before Regulus could swivel around on his heel and book it, preferably punting himself into a large body of water on the way, the door flew open, smacking Regulus directly in the face and sending him down a few steps, catching himself on the railings before he could bash the back of his head open (unfortunately).
“Holy fucking shit,” he groaned, feeling his face for any blood or permanently irreparable bone and skin tissue damage. He squinted up at Sirius, standing staring wide-eyed at him. “This has been happening too much.”
“Oh-fuck- are you okay?” He pulled Regulus in, who was wiping a stream of blood from his nose.
“No, it’s fine, I’m fine, don’t worry ‘bout it.”
“Don’t be a dickhead, Reggie, come on,” he called out at the top of his voice. “JAAAAAMES!”
James came running from the other room.
“Yes Pads?”
If you were ever wondering what it felt like to get your nose personally smashed in twice, first by a metal pole that had probably contracted some kind of STD and then a huge door that swings out , for some reason, with the force of a sexually frustrated mediaeval knight, Regulus would be able to tell you. Not before he saw a doctor though.
He would need a different type of doctor, probably a therapist because the hot guy on the tube?
James fucking Potter.
Sirius’ best friend ever in the whole world.
Sirius’ bloodline.
As soon as James recognised him, his eyes grew to the size of saucers, literally. His stupid big brown adorable cow eyes grew to cartoonish sizes. All while Regulus was 99.98% sure he made no change in his demeanour upon seeing James.
“Your friends are stupid.” Regulus turned to Sirius. “I’m fine, I don’t need any medical attention.” Besides the throbbing in his nose and prefrontal cortex.
“Bugger off, you have a cut on your nose akin to the one Marcus Lopez from Deadly Class does.” Sirius snorted.
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Give me something to clean up with and I’ll be fine.”
Anyone who said his Spidey senses were working 24/7 was a fucking liar. Because how did he end up with a bashed-up nose, if he was hyper aware of his surroundings all the time? Eeeexactly.
James came running back with tissues and rubbing alcohol, along with a random assortment of ointments and bandages.
“Lily,” he said as if that explained anything.
“Ohh, you see, this is what happens when you’re friends with a med student.” Sirius explained, slinging his arm over Regulus’ shoulder and guiding him to the bathroom.
🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️
“Your hands are shaking, dumbfuck,”
“It’s because it was bloody cold out, jackass.”
“Let me do it then, wanker,”
“You’re bound to break my whole ass nose, twat.”
“It seems like you’ve already bashed your nose in before this, so I won’t be doing you any more harm.”
Sirius snatched the tissue from Regulus, holding his chin up and cleaning the blood around his nose while Regulus crossed his arms and huffed indignantly.
Sirius’ eyebrows were drawn together, his chin tilted down and staring at Regulus’ nose through the upper half of his eyes.
His friends may have found this to be an endearing (or even hot [but Regulus was ignoring that]) thing that Sirius only did when he was focused, but Regulus knew.
Classic Black family trait. That exact pose, copied through generations of incest and standing still for portraits.
“Done,” Sirius muttered, his head and eyes reverting back to his normal stance.
Regulus didn’t notice how intently he was still staring at Sirius, probably mirroring the pose he was studying on him. They caught each other's eyes and just. Stood there.
They were interrupted by an eruption of yelling from somewhere else in the house.
“Uh, thanks,” Regulus mumbled.
“Nah, you’re good,” Sirius regarded him one last time before leaving the bathroom. “Hey,”
Regulus looked up at him.
“We’re not like them. By the way.”
“I know.”
Sirius walked off and Regulus was alone, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He tilted his chin up and cracked his neck, expelling a tired breath of air through his mouth.
“Uh, fancy seeing you here,” a voice from behind him said. He looked behind him to see James leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom with his hands in his pockets.
Regulus raised his eyebrow, turning around and crossing his arms, leaning back against the countertop.
“You saw me ten minutes ago, in the entrance, remember? I was the one with the bleeding nose.”
He huffed, amused. “I just came over to see if your nose was okay, the whole door slamming thing didn’t seem like the epitome of ecstasy.”
“No, the epitome of ecstasy would be me not having to be here.”
“You were on the tube as well.”
“No I wasn’t.”
“Okay, am I getting gaslighted? ‘Cause I feel like I’m getting gasl-” he saw Regulus’ gaze, catching what he was getting at. “Yeah, nah, you weren’t on the tube.”
He leaned in and whispered loudly.
“But we both know you really were on the tube.”
Regulus rolled his eyes and prodded James’ shoulder.
“Keep moving, idiot.”