Enough Is Enough
Sirius is knocked backwards, not quite falling to his feet. More surprised than anything. Regulus feels like hitting him again until James steps in the way, holding his fists back.
“Regulus!” James shrieks, “What the fuck?”
Sirius is bleeding from his cheek, wiping it off with his fingers. “You punch like Mom.”
That’s all he says before Regulus is launching himself back at Sirius, James having to use his entire body to hold him back.
“You two are brothers?” James asks.
“Clearly.” Sirius says, “You know Reggie?”
“It’s Regulus.” He snaps at him.
James looks nervous, not wanting to explain to him that they’re basically together, or would have been if he got to officially ask him to be his boyfriend at dinner tonight.
He thinks that might have to wait.
“I know him.” He decides on.
Sirius looks at his brother, then at his friend, “Well, I feel sorry for you.”
Regulus moves his arms, trying to tussle his way out of James’ grip. “Let me go!” He tells James.
“I can’t if you’re going to try and kill him.”
“I can’t spend another minute with him, trust me.” Regulus says, James’ grip loosening slowly. When he lets go fully, Regulus turns around and storms out of the hospital.
James doesn’t know who to follow.
Regulus who is storming away or Sirius who is bleeding.
“Come on,” he steps forwards, “let’s get you sutured.”
He leads him to the pit where Sirius sits in the trauma room when James gets the suture kit out.
“Woah, woah, woah. What the hell are you doing?” He puts his hand out, confused.
James laughs, “Do you want me to sew you up or not?”
“No,” he shakes his head, “I do not. Call your plastic surgeon.”
“You don’t trust me?”
Sirius is holding gauze against his cheekbone, “Of course I don’t trust you! This face is a good face, a damn near perfect face. I need a professional to make this face look the same.”
James rolls his eyes, “Fine.”
He pages Remus Lupin, Sirius swinging his legs back and forth as he sits.
It’s quiet for a moment, awkward.
Remus always takes the elevators, although he never tells anybody why. James figures it will be a few minutes.
“So. . .” Sirius begins, he’s never liked silence. Can’t stand it at all. “Are you fucking my little brother?”
James looks as guilty as sin. “How’d you know?”
Sirius came in, they hadn’t done anything other than talk. Maybe for ten seconds. They are still in the secret relationship era, hiding it from the other doctors in the hospital. There is no way Sirius could have known. Not from that alone.
And it really didn’t seem like the brothers were having weekly phone calls or anything like that.
“He’s never hit me before.” Sirius shrugs, “We’ve fought but it was never physical.”
“You said. . .” he doesn’t even know if he wants to get into this now, “you said that he hit like your mom? Did she. . . did Walburga-”
“She’s not my mom anymore.”
“Oh.” James nods, “Sorry, I-”
Sirius only shrugs, looking at a picture frame on the wall, “It’s fine, they disowned me, I was relieved. I met you, you were like my own mini-family. That’s all I needed.”
James didn’t know any of that. “Why didn’t you tell me? Back in college. You never said anything.”
Sirius looks down, still holding the gauze, “A part of me was embarrassed to be upset about the whole thing.”
He was ashamed to feel sad about leaving such a place like that. A place that had never brought him any happiness.
His mother ruined his childhood. Why would he grieve the fact that she didn’t want him in their family anymore? It’s not like Orion really cared enough to reach out. Or Regulus, for that matter.
Sirius had met James and for the first time since he left, he had felt complete. Like there wasn’t some Regulus-sized-hole in his heart anymore.
In all honesty, he had no idea that Regulus was going to be here. He should have guessed it. The only person he made sure wasn’t around was his mother. If he had to work at the same hospital as his father, he could bear it. But Sirius hadn't even known Regulus went into the medical field. He should have guessed it, Walburga made certain since they could talk that they were bred to be surgeons.
That's part of the reason he ran. He wanted to be a surgeon on his own terms, not because his mother had told him to.
He liked his father, despite his obvious cowardice when it came to Walburga.
His father was the one who told him one night, after everyone else was in bed, and his mother had done enough damage to make him bleed, “You don’t have to be a surgeon because she wants you to.”
It was as close to an I love you he has ever gotten.
Nobody in Sirius’ entire life has ever said those three words to him.
Well, nobody but James.
He said it once over Christmas. Sirius opted to stay at college instead of joining James and his family for the holidays.
James had called him to ask how he was, and before he hung up, it came out of his mouth like it was normal. “Bye, Sirius, love you.”
It was only two words, but it counted to Sirius.
James shoves himself into Sirius’ arms, whispering as they hug, “I’m glad you’re back, Sirius. I missed you.”
James is the only person Sirius has.
He traveled from hospital to hospital, never staying long enough to be liked.
He joined the military for a little while. Did a few tours before deciding that it was getting to be too much and backed out. He did the hospital switching again and then one night, Dumbledore called him, said he is recruiting new surgeons.
Said James Potter has signed on.
Then he offered him a trauma floor, an attending position, and a fantastic salary.
Sirius was in.
“You know I hate sappy, James.” Sirius rolls his eyes, hugging him back.
The door opens and Remus looks at them awkwardly, “Sorry, should I come back in a moment?”
“No,” James shakes his head, “Remus, this is Sirius, Sirius, this is Remus our plastic surgeon. He requested you because he didn’t want me to mess up his stupid face.”
Usually, Sirius would quip back, making a joke or something. But he doesn’t. He is too busy gawking at the surgeon in front of him.
Sirius doesn’t have a type. Not at all. He sleeps with anyone who shows even a little bit of interest.
But now he has a type.
Six foot six. Dirty blonde hair. Scars galore. Surgeon. Walks with a limp.
Yeah, Sirius wants him.
No.
He needs him.
Remus steps forward, looking at Sirius, asking, “So, what happened?”
“Regulus punched me in the face."
“Regulus?” He looks at James, “The intern?”
“It’s my brother.” Sirius sighs, “You know him too?”
“Yes.”
Not a man of many words.
Alright, Sirius can still work with that.
James is pacing the room, a nervous tic he has, “Sirius, are you good here? I need to–you won’t be mad right?”
“Just go, James.” Sirius says, wanting some alone time with his hot doctor.
James is out the door in seconds.
〚*〛
Evan and Dorcas are talking in the kitchen when Regulus pushes between them and grabs the bottle of tequila from the shelf, taking it to his room.
They stare at one another, following where Regulus is taking his tantrum.
“Regulus?” Dorcas asks, “You alright?”
They have to start running up the stairs to catch up.
He doesn’t answer.
“Regulus, come on.” Evan says, talking to him from the hallway, “Just tell us what’s going on.”
He slams the door in their faces, Dorcas knocks, trying to convince him to come outside. She looks at Evan, who is dialing someone.
“What are you doing?”
“Calling Barty.”
If Regulus were planning on opening up to anyone, it would be Barty.
〚*〛
Remus is caught off guard by the boy in front of him. He’s staring and not in the way he is used to. Usually with the scars, he gets a lot of eyes on him. That’s normal. But Sirius is staring like he’s obsessed, in a good way. Like he likes him.
He comes to learn that Sirius is a surgeon too. Trauma surgeon.
At least Remus will never have to run the pit again. About time someone takes that job.
James had all but ran out of there, although Remus has no idea why. He tries to mind his own business. Or did, up until about a few years ago, when people stopped seeing him as creepy and started to try and be his friend.
He lives a quiet life, and he’s okay with that.
After he finishes sewing Sirius up, the man asks him, “You want to go get a drink?”
Remus doesn’t do that. “I’m alright, thanks.”
“Why not?”
“I’m working, for one?”
“And the other reason?”
“I don’t want to.”
Sirius scares him. He’s a lot.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he winks on his way out, “bye Remus, and thanks.”
It’s over. When Sirius walks out, Remus feels like he can finally breathe, taking the elevator back up to the on-call room so he can rest his hip, which is on fire today.
〚*〛
James gets to Regulus’ house and walks through the back door, which stays unlocked for when Evan loses his keys. From what Regulus has said, they’ve already replaced them twice.
He goes upstairs, seeing Barty sit against the door, talking.
When James locks eyes with him, Barty stands up and walks over.
“You’ve got to go.” He says, “I don’t know what you did but you broke him, Potter.”
“I didn’t do anything!”
“Get the fuck out of the house before I call the cops.” Barty threatens him. Usually James would argue, stand a little stronger.
He’s gone soft, not wanting to make things worse for himself right now.
In the car, which is still in Regulus’ driveway, he calls him.
Straight to voicemail.
Shit.
This is bad. This is really bad.
He hits his hands on the steering wheel of his car. It doesn’t make him feel better. Not at all.
〚*〛
Barty falls backwards when Regulus swings the door open. He is all cheery and happy, which is honestly scarier than him raging and yelling.
It’s six in the morning.
“Where the fuck are you going?” Barty asks, hitting his head on the hardwood floor. “Regulus?”
“I’m going to the hospital.” He says, taking a donut from the box today.
Barty goes ahead and gets dressed, work starts in an hour. He’ll try and get there as fast as he can.
Evan is just waking up when someone is pounding on their front door. Barty swings it open, it’s James fucking Potter, bearing breakfast.
“Can I come in?” He asks Barty, clearly nervous.
Barty nods, “Sure.”
James puts the breakfast on the table, looking around. “Where’s Regulus?”
Barty and Evan are digging into the bag, arguing over who gets the pancakes.
Dorcas answers for him, clearly feeling bad about it, unlike the boys. “He already left.”
James rolls his eyes, sassy this morning, “That was supposed to be for him.”
“Bye, James!” Dorcas shouts, the door shutting as he leaves to head to the hospital.
〚*〛
Turns out getting to the hospital early doesn’t matter if his brother is there before him. He has no interest in being in the pit if Sirius is going to be there too.
He gets a coffee and a muffin–something he never eats because sweet foods sometimes make his stomach hurt—and he sits in the locker room, reading a book about new surgical techniques until the rest of them show up.
Barty is there second.
“James brought you breakfast at home.” He says, simply.
In all honesty, Regulus had known James would be looking all over for him, every time he heard someone walking into the locker room, he hid.
Sure, he felt a little stupid but if it meant he could push off having to talk to James for a little while longer, that was fine by him.
It’s not that him and Sirius are friends, it’s that they are best friends.
It’s the fact that James cannot love anybody without loving them with his whole entire heart. So he knows that he loves Sirius.
And he can’t share anymore.
If James loves Sirius and he loves Regulus, then they would fight over him and it would ruin everything.
That’s what happened with Dad.
They both loved him. Sirius left, and it didn’t just affect their relationship, it affected his and Regulus’ too.
Now his dad can barely remember anything.
For a long time, he debated flying to Boston and starting over with his mother’s hospital.
So he can’t do this.
As much as he likes James. As happy as James has made him lately.
He refuses to lose another person because of his brother.
He’ll break it off tonight and that will be that.
The rest of the interns are walking in, Regulus goes to the library to return the book before Macdonald gives them their assignments for the day.
She looks like she’s in a better mood, too.
“Meadowes, you’re with me, I’ve got a bowel obstruction. Rosier, Potter’s got a patient in 2304. Crouch, I need you on discharge and then charts.” She says, watching the boys leave before looking at Regulus, “You’ve been requested by Dr. Black in the pit.”
Of fucking course.
“I was wondering if I could maybe-”
“Do I look like a negotiator to you?” Macdonald snaps, “Go down there now.”
Regulus rolls his eyes, lingering at the door as his brother is speaking to some of the nurses at the reception desk as they tie his gown.
There’s an ambulance coming in, Regulus gets ready for it.
Sirius looks at him outside while they wait, “Weird, right?”
“Don’t talk to me.” He refuses to even turn to him.
Regulus is taller by maybe a half-inch, but the two of them look almost identical now. The most contrasting thing being their hair; Regulus’ doesn’t go far past his ear while Sirius has his down to his neck. It’s tied into a bun right now, a messy one at that. Both of them had gotten the waves.
Regulus thanks the lord when there are three patients. He takes the first while Sirius handles the remaining two.
It’s a mother, father, and their son. They’d gotten into a crash on the freeway. The dad is in critical condition, Sirius taking him immediately to the O.R. while one of the nurses pages Mulciber to the pit to handle the mother.
For now, Regulus does it all.
He gets X-Rays for both of them, and as it turns out, they both have very different versions of how the crash went down.
The mother says it happened out of nowhere. That it was some sort of freak mistake that led to them flipping the car.
The son said that someone cut off the dad in traffic and he lost it. Went ballistic. Starting driving so fast that he began swerving and the next thing he knew, traffic was spinning and they had crashed.
He believes the kid.
〚*〛
Mckinnon is looking at the father, “Is it a lost cause?”
Macdonald shakes her head, working as quickly as she can. Meadowes was the happiest about her getting pulled, she got to run a bowel by herself today. Mary shakes her head, “He’s going to need a new liver. Any work I do won’t save him unless he gets a transplant.”
Sirius Black, the new kid, as Marlene calls him, adds, “His family is in here too, let’s run to see if they’re a match.”
They do.
It’s the kid.
Of course, they send Sirius down to the kid, hoping that a familiar face will help convince him.
He is sitting there, talking to Regulus.
〚*〛
Mulciber pulls Regulus to the hallway, “I think the dad’s abusing the mom.”
Regulus sighs, “How bad?”
“Healed fractures all over her collarbone and ribs, yellow bruise on her backside that is nasty.”
“The kid told me it was because of dad's road rage.” He notes, “Ask Macdonald what we are supposed to do.”
“You ask her.”
“I’m working on the kid. He’s got a gash on his forehead.”
“Fine.”
Regulus goes back into the room, knowing what he knows now. He looks at that kid and wonders if that’s what his eyes were like growing up.
Tired. Scared. Helpless.
This kid didn’t have an older brother who took the hits for years.
Then at the same time, he didn’t have an older brother who left him to the wolves, either, so.
Speaking of his horrible brother, Sirius comes rushing in the room, “Hi, I’m Dr. Black.”
He looks to Regulus, “I thought you were Dr. Black?”
“I am.”
“We’re brothers,” Sirius smiles, like he’s bragging. Regulus has to try not to gag.
The boy looks between both of them and asks, “Are you twins?”
“No.”
“That would be cool though,” Sirius adds, “look, I wanted to talk to you about your father.”
Regulus doesn’t know what he’s trying to do. He came in too cheerful for the man to be dead, that wouldn’t make any sense.
“Is he dead?”
“He’s dying.” Sirius says, “But you’re a match for him, you could save his life. We need to know if you would be willing to donate a portion of your liver to your father?”
Regulus cannot believe him, coming into his patient's room to beg for a transplant. He steps in, a contrary opinion, “This would be a big change for you.”
Sirius eyes his brother, confused as to why he is not on the same side as him. It’s not even out of spite when he does this. He is genuinely unsure of his reasoning. Regulus is a doctor, for fucks sake, why on earth would he do anything that isn't going to save a life?
But the way Regulus sees it: why would he want to save the man that has done nothing but hurt him?
“The liver is the only organ that can regenerate itself,” Sirius says, looking at the bright side.
“Dr. Black, can I talk to you outside?”
Sirius smiles at the patient and shuts the door behind him, looking his brother up and down. “What are you doing?”
“What are you? Trying to convince my patient? You shouldn’t even be in there while you are his father’s doctor.” He folds his arms.
“I’m a surgeon, Regulus, I’m trying to save his life.”
Regulus pulls the scans and shows them to his brother, “Did you know that his father has been beating him and his mother? Did you know that before you stormed into his room and asked for him to cut himself open to save that guy?”
Sirius looks at the scans, carefully, “He’s still his father and we still have to try and save his life.”
He can’t believe this. Of all people, Sirius is the one who wants this.
“Would you do it?” He asks, “If that were Mom would you do it?”
“I was disowned, remember?” Sirius scoffs, “They wouldn’t ask me if death was knocking on her door.” He begins to walk away when he says, “Tell him I need an answer within the hour.”
〚*〛
The elevator doors shut, leaving Regulus with the son. He doesn’t know exactly why the words come out of his mouth, probably because he was overly emotional from the night before, and just an itty-bitty hungover.
“When you’re little, you can hide.”
The kid’s eyes snap up to him, bloodshot.
“You can ignore all the shouting and the screaming.” He notes, “I used to pretend like I was someplace else, Christmastime in France, actually.” The elevator button dings, “Then when you get older and bigger, you feel like you should be doing something. Fighting back.”
In this kid’s case, he’d be fighting his dad, but Regulus would have been fighting his mother. Fighting his mother for hurting his brother.
He could take it after Sirius left, when it was just him who was suffering. And he wasn't going to fight her for inflicting a punishment on somebody who deserved it.
But back when they were younger, listening to his brother’s screams at nighttime? That was a punishment Regulus couldn’t ever be okay with.
“You don’t even know who you're the angriest at, the one doing the hurting or yourself because you can’t stop it. Usually it’s yourself.”
The kid looks scared, so young and so old at the same time. “So what do you do?” He asks Regulus, “About all the anger?”
Regulus pauses, “I waited for it to pass and it’s still here. So, I don’t know.”
He isn’t the most motivational speaker out there, that’s for sure.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“You have to decide that for yourself, I can call someone to help you talk about it if you want.” He suggests.
He shakes his head no, “Will you stay, just for a little bit?”
Regulus nods, sitting by his bedside. “Sure.”
〚*〛
Scott, the boy, is sitting in front of his mother. They need to make a decision. Regulus, Sirius, Macdonald, Mckinnon, and Mulciber are all here. Waiting to figure out what he will say next.
He looks at Regulus, then back at his mother, “Are you going to hate me if I say I don’t want to do it?”
“You don’t want to?”
“Ma, I can’t.” He says, “I don’t want to.”
Marlene nods, “Okay, that’s that.”
They leave the family to talk, the doctors closing the door when Sirius just erupts.
“Did you tell him to do that?” He says, getting in his brother’s face.
Regulus is oblivious, “Me?”
“You were with him all day, did you convince him not to?”
Macdonald steps in the way, “I don’t know what kind of beef you two are having right now but it will not be done on my surgical floor.”
Sirius says one more thing before he leaves, “You are unbelievable. I hope you're happy with a man's death on your hands.”
Regulus wishes he could punch him again, but he is on the clock and honestly, he wouldn’t put it past Sirius to try and file a restraining order.
〚*〛
With Dumbledore’s surgery, Mckinnon is acting Chief. She holds that title high of James Potter’s head, who seems all too distracted to care.
The attending lounge is quiet today.
Sirius is throwing shit in his locker, Remus is watching him. Peter has left for the day. James is pacing around. Marlene is smiling big.
“James?”
“Hm, what?” He asks.
“I asked if you want to come get some drinks with me?” Sirius says, "Since we couldn't last night."
“I can’t tonight, sorry.”
You'd think he could takes an hour of time out of his schedule to hang out with his best friend that he hasn't seen in years.
He rolls his eyes, “Fine. Lupin?”
“Also no.” He doesn’t even look up.
“Mckinnon?”
She gives him a dirty look, “After I’m your third choice, no.”
“It was an open invite, Marlene.”
“It's Chief, to you.”
“Acting Chief,” Remus reminds her.
“Still Chief.”
James leaves and goes to find Regulus, who has been avoiding him all day.
〚*〛
Macdonald looks at her interns, “I need one of you to stay and work overtime for a case in the pit.”
“I got it!” Regulus raises his hand. The only reason he said yes is because James is off the clock which means he can stop trying so hard to stay out of sight from him.
And besides, if he stayed home, all he would do is get drunk and probably try to call James, so it isn’t worth it.
He grabs his white coat, heading downstairs.
He hears the yelling first.
“Watch it. Hands off of me! I could report you to the Chief!”
Regulus feels like the whole world is moving in slow motion right now.
Macdonald looks at the chart and stares back at Regulus.
“Patient’s name is Orion Black. Complaining of intermittent cramping and pain.” He is swinging his arms but it’s no use. They’ve restrained him to the bed. “Also suffers from Alzheimer’s.”
“Orion Black?” One of the nurses whispered.
They wheel him by Regulus, trying to make their way into a trauma room when Orion sits up and looks straight at him, “What the hell are you doing here? Haven’t I told you? How many times have I told you not to bother me while I’m at work!”
Regulus turns, fleeing. He bumps into another nurse on his way, leaning against the hallway wall, one eye still latched on his father.
This can’t be happening.
Why is this happening?
Regulus goes directly back into the locker room, where Barty is staring at him.
“Regulus, are you okay?” He asks, and Macdonald throws him out.
“Go home, Crouch.”
He seems unsure until Macdonald gives him the look. Her I’m not fucking around right now look, and he does leave.
She shuts the door and walks up to the boy, “Are you able to continue working or should I call Rosier in?”
“I’m fine.”
“I would understand if you want to be with your father.” Macdonald notes.
“No,” he shakes his head, trying to stay as professional as possible, “my father and I don’t have the easiest. . . it’s just better if I’m working.”
“Okay,” she nods, “you’re on scut.”
“Scut!” Regulus regrets this.
He'd rather go home.
“You want to be here, run labs, catch up on charting, perfect. Go.”
At least he can always count on Macdonald to treat him as if nothing is wrong. That’s something.
〚*〛
Barty passes by James on his way out.
“If you’re looking for him, he’s in the locker room, Potter.” Crouch tells him.
“So, by that, he’s at home already.”
Barty walks away, James going to his car.
He smiles, laughing. It’s so easy to mess with him.
〚*〛
Orion is losing it.
Rosier is put on the case the next morning. Orion does not take that well. He throws his pillow at him, “Don’t get close to me!”
Vance runs in, “What can I do?”
“Get me some haloperidol.”
“Don’t look at me like that. I am in charge here! You stupid interns hate yourselves and don’t know anything and I’ll be damned if I let you turn my kids into that too!”
“Mr. Black, calm down.”
“It’s all about you, isn’t it!” He screams, “My work is more important. I am a surgeon too, okay?”
“I know, Mr. Black.” Evan nods.
Regulus is standing by the door, horrified. He eventually cannot take it anymore and flees.
Evan goes to Macdonald, as he was instructed when she put him on the case. Any updates and he is to find her and tell her.
“Dr. Black, the father," Evan specifies, considering there are three Dr. Black's in the hospital currently, "he’s got a mass on his liver.”
Macdonald licks her lips, “Let’s do a biopsy before we jump to any conclusions. Find Regulus and get his signature, or Sirius.”
Sirius is off duty and Regulus is sitting in the basement where Barty has been checking on him about every half hour.
Evan is scared to go down there. By the looks of it, Regulus has stopped doing work completely. He’s just sitting on the bed that is against the wall, his arms wrapped around his legs and his cheek resting on his knee.
He looks so small.
Not at all like the Regulus Evan is used to seeing.
His face jerks up when he sees Evan, “What's happening?”
He gets the signature.
Rosier gets the papers and Macdonald does the biopsy. Regulus stays in the basement for a long time before wandering up to the nursery.
The babies are lined up, sleeping in rows.
Regulus likes to see them when he’s sad because these babies are untouched by the horrors of the world. They’re so little. They’ve never been yelled at and they’ve never experienced true, undeniable pain.
They are completely innocent.
It’s hard to imagine he was like that once.
Maybe he never was.
〚*〛
Sirius is sitting at the bar, cracking peanuts when someone slides in next to him.
He side-eyes to see who it is, turning completely when he sees Remus.
“What are you doing here?”
“Felt bad you had no friends.” He turns his drink in his hand, teasing. Sirius makes a face, “Relax, I just decided to come.”
“Why?”
“Well, I was the new guy once too and it is hard to get into the group.”
Sirius makes a face, “You don’t care about that stuff.”
“Yeah, I don’t. But you seem like you do.”
Sirius orders another drink, “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not as mysterious as you or something?”
“No, you’re too loud to be mysterious.”
Sirius shrugs. He’s been told he was loud his whole life, it doesn’t bother him. “So, why’d you pick plastics?”
“Long story.”
“I got time.”
“Personal story, then.” Remus sighs. Sirius doesn’t push, which he’s grateful for, “Why’d you choose trauma?”
“Because I would hate doing the same things everyday. I like the spontaneity of it.” Sirius is given his new drink, ordering something else for Remus, who thanks him immediately.
〚*〛
Regulus goes to his father’s room, he takes one look before deciding that he can’t be here right now.
He walks out of the hospital with his scrubs still on.
Doesn’t bring his phone or his keys or his wallet. He walks straight outside and stands in the torrential downpour of rain, because at least then, nobody can tell he is crying.
Regulus hates crying, always has. Growing up in a household where no emotion can be shown, it’s just always been easier to keep everything so bottled up.
“Hey,” a voice.
Regulus doesn’t turn around, just tilts his head up to the sky. There’s no thunder, no lightning, it’s just water. Lots and lots of water.
“Regulus, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” He says, “Are you alright?”
Is he alright?
He doesn’t even know how many people have asked him that in the last twenty-four hours. The answer is always, “I’m fine.”
But he’s not.
He’s not fine.
And James can see right through him.
“I’m not alright,” Regulus looks at him, James’ glasses covered in water.
James steps to him, wrapping his arms around Regulus.
The worst part is, Regulus cannot even remember the last time he’d been hugged. It’s been so many years, surely.
His head falls into James’ chest, hands slack as James holds tight.
“Come on,” James tugs at him, “let’s go to my place. We can talk there.”
〚*〛
James lives in a RV on a huge plot of land, with an amazing view. You could probably see at least half of Seattle from the windows alone.
Regulus changes from the soaking scrubs to some of James’ clothes. Well, a pair of boxers and a too big t-shirt.
James makes him a cup of hot cocoa, because it’s something his mother always did for him if he was having a bad day.
And Regulus? He is having an ultra-shitty bad day.
As always.
They’re sitting on his bed, listening to the rain as it hits the top of the vehicular house. His fingertips are being warmed up by the mug’s heat.
“How do you feel?”
Regulus scoffs, “I’m unbelievably pissed off right now.”
“At me?”
He shakes his head, “No, not at you, James.”
The relief is sweet.
“Who then?”
“My family.” He leans against the pillow, sitting criss-cross applesauce, “I’m mad at my father, mostly, but then I’m also very angry at Sirius. He probably doesn’t even know Orion is in the hospital.”
James wants to take Sirius' aid, but figures it’s probably best to stay quiet right now.
“My mother left because she didn’t want to watch Orion get sick. I hated her for it, leaving him behind, but I get it now. She was smart.” Regulus is staring off into space, like he is speaking but his mind is onto something else entirely. “It’s always been bad and now it’s worse. I used to think the worst part was that he'd see me and thank Sirius for coming."
James notices his mug is empty and sets it on the counter at the end of the bed. Regulus lays down and lets the blankets over his shoulders. James mimics the movements, eye-to-eye with the younger.
“I’m so sorry about your dad.”
“And I want to hate him but. . . even after everything, he was just. . . he was the best parent we had. And now I’m going to lose him.” His words fall quiet, not wanting to cry in front of James right now.
Regulus shakes his head like it doesn’t matter. Like he shouldn’t even be feeling this.
James does not let anything go unnoticed, “It’s okay. It’s okay to feel whatever you feel. That doesn’t make you any less of a person.”
He closes his eyes gently, reverting back to his normal self for five seconds, “Your RV is ridiculous.”
James laughs, noticing the subject change but figuring maybe this is what Regulus needs. Maybe he just wants things to be the same for a little bit. James lets him mock his trailer and in return, Regulus lets him hold his hand underneath the blankets. “Let’s just get some sleep, okay?”
Regulus rolls over, letting James pull his back to his chest.
It’s the best he’s slept in his entire life.