The Self Destruct Button
Regulus smacks the snooze button on his alarm, peeling away from James.
“Where are you going?” He whines.
“I have pre-rounds. And you should go before everyone sees you.”
James doesn’t care, “Let them see.”
Evan and Barty knows, but Dorcas doesn't. He is trying to keep this under wraps, the less who know, the better.
“Absolutely not.”
Barty is angrily pouring a coffee downstairs, watching as Evan blinks awake, almost falling asleep at the breakfast table.
“They keep you up all night too? Or was it just me who had to hear that?”
Evan yawns, “You think they’d get sick of each other by three in the morning.”
Barty is pissed off, clearly. “Evan, can I ride with you this morning?”
“Sure.”
They get in the car, leaving Regulus alone. He’s running a bit behind. James is too, coming up behind him as he stands in front of the fridge.
James, knowing that everyone is gone, kisses the side of his neck.
Regulus swats him away, “If you give me a hickey, Potter, I’ll kill you.” He shuts the door, settling on a piece of cold pizza from the night before.
He knew James would judge it even before putting it in his mouth.
“I could buy you breakfast.”
“I like pizza.” He shrugs, “Are you ready?”
James holds the door open for him, getting into the passenger seat.
〚*〛
Evan is staring at him, updating a chart while they sit in the pit, waiting for someone badly injured to stumble on inside.
“Can I ask you a question?” Evan says, chewing on the end of his pen.
“You just did.”
“Is it Potter? The late-night visitor.”
Evan knows it is. Regulus knows that he knows it is. There’s really no use in lying now.
He nods, ever so slightly.
“So you know?” Regulus points out.
“I know.”
“Your life just kinda falls into place nicely, doesn’t it?”
Regulus turns his head, confused.
Evan puts his feet on the table, “You’re stacked. Your family is important. You’re beyond talented. You walk into the O.R. and you have their respect. Nobody doubts you. I grew up in a church, I went to a state school, I paid for med school by modeling, for fucks sake. I guess I just don’t understand, you’re doing this for what? A couple good surgeries?”
Regulus feels for him, he really does, even though he’d never admit it, “It’s not about the surgeries, it’s not about getting ahead.”
“Then what?” Evan laughs, “Some sex? Because if you needed it that badly I’m sure Barry would help.”
Regulus rolls his eyes, “Please.” He's smiling, shaking his head.
“Oh my god.” He realizes, “You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”
“I am not.”
Evan facepalms, “Oh, you so are.”
“I’m not!”
“Dammit, you poor guy.”
“Fuck off,” Regulus snaps, he hates pity. “You know, it’s just that he’s just so. . . and I’m just having a hard time-”
“You’re all mushy and full of secret feelings.” Evan gags, “What’s happened to you? I thought you only knew anger?”
“I hate you.”
His phone buzzes, another missed call from his father’s home. They’ve been calling him a lot today, Regulus tries not to answer.
Luckily, he gets distracted because Barty comes awkwardly over to their area, “I need someone’s help.”
Both of them, never hearing Barty ask for help before, volunteer.
Evan and Regulus shut the patient curtain, waiting for Barty to tell them what’s going on.
“There is something wrong with my dick.”
Evan laughs, Regulus covering his mouth with his hand when Barty drops his scrub pants.
“Don’t laugh, Rosier.”
“I’m sorry—it’s just, well, you have syphilis, Barty.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“He is not.” Regulus nods, “I’ll go get some penicillin.”
Barty leans back on the table, “This is the worst day of my life.”
“Who gave it to you?”
“That nurse, Olivia. I don’t know who gave it to her.”
Regulus walks back in, smiling big.
“You better not tell anybody.” He threatens them.
Regulus pulls out a big needle, “Whatever.”
Barty looks anxious, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“It’s a shot of penicillin, Barty, you should be grateful I’m even doing this for you. And besides, I’m a surgeon.”
“We could find Olivia for you,” Evan teases, his hands in his pockets. "Think she'll do it."
"Stick a needle in him? Absolutely." Regulus nods.
“Alright, forget this." Bennie sits up.
Evan pushes his shoulder backwards, “Sit down.”
That seemed to work well enough.
Barty’s sat.
He bends over the table, ass up.
Then Dorcas walks in, “What are we doing in here?”
Barty drops his face against the pillow, mumbling, “Oh, this is my nightmare.”
Evan is laughing so much harder now, “Barty’s got syphilis.”
She smiles as the curtain is pulled shut, “Oh, Barty.”
“Everyone other than Regulus can leave.” He shouts.
Evan and Dorcas are leaning on one another, “We are here for moral support.”
“Don’t be embarrassed, Barty,” Evan snickers, “you have a cute butt.”
“Be careful,” he turns around to point at Regulus, “I don’t like needles.”
“Good thing you’re a doctor then, huh?” Dorcas adds.
He finishes the first one, despite all of Barty’s whining.
“Ouch, Regulus!”
He does the other side and Barty sits up, pulling his pants back on.
“If I were to imagine myself half-naked in a room with three other people, it is the opposite of this.”
“Bye, Barty!” Regulus says, a real laugh slipping from his lips.
〚*〛
Regulus turns his phone on silent when they enter Dumbledore’s meeting room.
They don’t know what this is about.
He is angry, that’s for sure.
“Three interns. Four residents. Six nurses on this surgical floor.” He booms, “That’s how many people have been diagnosed with. . . syphilis.”
Regulus side-eyes Barty, trying not to laugh.
Dumbledore clearly isn’t here to fuck around, “If you are sexually active with another member of the staff, get tested.”
Regulus is lucky he grew up with the mother he did, or else he doesn’t know if he would have been able to contain the laughter that threatened to spill out of his mouth when someone behind him said, “This place is full of whores.”
He wonders if James is a whore.
Well, not like that.
But kinda.
He texts James to meet him in the stairs, but he never comes.
That is because James is watching Dumbledore’s M.R.I. come up.
He dreads the conversation he’s about to have with his boss.
“It’s a tumor and it’s pressing against your optic nerve.”
The first thing he asks is, “Is it operable?”
“Definitely, just not without risks.”
“I could lose my sight?”
James nods, “You could.”
Dumbledore doesn’t see much of a choice here, “Alright James, let’s see how good you really are.”
“Okay. Tonight?”
“Put Macdonald on this, I want it under wraps. Nobody should know.” James gets this, wanting to keep your weaknesses quiet. Everyone has them and the only reason it seems that some people don't is because they're hiding it.
“Sounds good.” James nods.
He pages Regulus, Mary, and Emmeline Vance. The best of every level.
Dumbledore has the dream team for a neurological surgery today.
James all but skips towards them, “I have a special super secret silent sunset surgery.”
Mary shakes her head, looking over at the intern.
“What?” He sighs, “I’ve been practicing that.”
“You have too much time on your hands.” Mary says, “I’ll be there." She leaves before James pisses her off anymore.
He’s apologizing already, “I didn’t see your text, I was with Dumbledore. What’s up?”
Regulus doesn’t answer James’ question, opting to ask one of his own instead. “Are you nervous?”
“It’s a complicated surgery,” James puts his palm on the handlebar, “one mistake and I end a fellow surgeon’s career. Oh no, not nervous at all. Why? Do you think I should be nervous?”
He’s all panicking and shit.
He’s definitely nervous.
Regulus shakes his head, “No, you’re the best he could get.”
“Mhm,” James sounds like he’s trying to convince himself. Then he remembers what they started with, “What did you need to meet me for? Is everything okay?”
“Oh, uh, I just wanted to ask if I need to get tested.”
James stops walking, “You think I have syphilis?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Then why did you ask?”
“We never made any rules, I don’t know,” Regulus says, “I wouldn’t hold it against you or anything.”
James can see right through the innocent questioning. Regulus wants to know. He wants to know where they stand and doesn’t want to be the one who asks.
But instead of calling him out, like he should---Regulus could use a few knocks to his ego---James laughs, “When would I have time to go out and get syphilis? You’re a handful as it is.”
“Okay. . . good.” Regulus nods, unsure of whether that was a compliment or an insult.
After a moment of bliss, James leans closer, “But maybe we should, you know, make some rules.”
“Alright,” Regulus says, the corner of his mouth slipping upwards.
James is about to walk away when Regulus mentions, “You don’t need to get tested.”
James wants to kiss him so badly.
Regulus walks away.
〚*〛
Sirius gets off of his plane around three o’clock. He tries to call James, who doesn’t answer.
He’s probably just in surgery.
Sirius hired a realtor and bought a house six minutes from the hospital, far away enough that he is on his own land, where his dog can run around wherever he pleases.
He loves his dog more than anything else, except for James, maybe.
He drunkenly named him Padfoot, buying a leash and bowl online for him on the first night he adopted him. And from there he just kind of went with it, the name sticking.
His house is nice, although completely bare.
Sirius likes it. Big open windows, lots of natural light. Plenty of room for his things. A ginormous TV for when he can watch hockey games.
Before he goes to surprise James at the hospital, wanting to meet him there so he can check it out before his first day tomorrow, he feeds Padfoot and takes him on a nightly walk.
〚*〛
“Doctors make the worst patients,” James says, listening to Dumbledore ask every question in the book.
They’re about to put him under.
He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t terrified. He was.
Very much so.
Regulus is standing behind him, “You’re going to do great.”
And you know what?
James didn’t do great.
He was flawless.
The drain is sutured in place, the staples look fantastic, not a single person outside of the room has found out.
But the anxiety doesn’t drop, Dumbledore could still wake up blind. James could have done every step right, and even then, he could be blind.
〚*〛
Regulus answers the phone after the fifth call of the day, “Hello?”
“Regulus Black? This is Avery from your father’s home. I have been calling you all day.”
Regulus hates the passive-aggressiveness they show. “And as I’ve told you countless times, I’m a surgical intern. I don’t have my phone all hours of the day. Is something wrong with my father?”
“No, actually,” she says, “I wanted to call and let you know that he is lucid. He’s asking when his son Regulus is going to return home from work.”
Someone’s behind him, he jumps and ends the call.
It’s just Dorcas.
“What’s going on with you?”
“What?” He says, “Nothing.”
“You are standing like you're about to shit your pants.” Dorcas looks him up and down, jaw-dropping, “Regulus, oh my god, do you have syphilis?”
He stares at her, “Fuck no.”
〚*〛
Evan, Barty, and Regulus are all changing before they leave for the day.
“You going to meet you-know-who?” Barty asks, code naming Potter so Mulciber doesn’t figure it out from where he’s brushing his teeth at the sink.
Regulus, his father still on his mind, flips him off.
Evan claps him on the back, “He’s jealous because he has to fuck different people every day and his dick breaks because of it.”
Barty stands up, “You think you are so fucking funny.”
“Am I wrong?” He counters.
Regulus leaves them there, James waiting for him in the lobby. He takes the stairs, not bothered to wait for the elevator.
James is sitting in the patient waiting chairs, standing up when he sees Regulus, “Hi, you ready to go?”
“Where are we going?”
“I thought I’d take you to dinner, we can make our rules.” He smirks.
Regulus licks his lips, about to speak when someone is shouting.
“James!”
Regulus recognizes that voice.
He heard it in his childhood.
His teenage years.
His college nightmares.
His past memories.
Before he can turn around and know for sure that it’s Sirius, he’s jumping into James’ arms and hugging him.
His James, hugging Sirius.
He wonders if there is cameras on him, if this is some ridiculous fucking prank. But it’s not. It’s real life.
Regulus hasn’t seen his brother in years. Ten of them. An entire decade.
Now? The first time they’re meeting again and Sirius struts past him and rubs it in his face by hugging James.
No.
No fucking way.
James waits for Sirius to let go first. And then when he does, Regulus looks across at his older brother and smokes him in the face with his fist.