Vienna (Theo)
Theo’s mind was supposed to be quiet. All of his questions had been answered, all of the mysteries were solved.
The itch inside of his skin to make his brain slow down had no purpose, no reasoning behind it. It was keeping Theo awake when he should be sleeping, it was distracting him when he should be living.
When Theo could no longer stand it, when he gave in to the itch and sought out the one true cure for it, he found a new outlet.
MDA had been beautiful, it took Theo out of his mind and his body. It wasn’t a popular option in Indiana though and Theo became desperate on his search.
It was late and Theo was sweating and pacing the streets of the largest city near Hawkins that he found. Sirius had given Theo a peculiar and keen look when Theo abruptly left the house, but since Sirius himself shouldn’t have been awake at three in the morning it was easily ignored.
Theo drove for two hours then he began walking. The city was less vibrant and crowded as London, but Theo was relentless. When he finally found a man who looked prepared to make sales, Theo was desperate.
For anything - anything at all.
“MDA?” The man Theo found outside of a closed pub laughed cruelly at Theo’s request. “I don’t have that party shit.”
Theo could feel frustration building up inside of him, twisting his stomach and erupting his skin with invisible hives.
“What do you have?” Theo asked tersely. He wasn’t of a mood to play word games, it already made him feel disgusting and guilty to lower himself to his old activities. They were meant to be in the past, but there was an edge slicing Theo from the inside and he needed something to soothe it.
“I got crystal,” the man said casually. He had a toothpick in his mouth and he twisted it in his filthy teeth. “Give ya a gram for $70.”
No, Theo had no interest in that. Methamphetamine would take him up, too up. High in the sky where his body would shake with adrenaline. It was down where Theo wanted to be, down where he was calm and his body would relax.
If Theo couldn’t be out, he wanted to be down.
“Hallucinogens or opiates only,” Theo said.
The man twisted his toothpick again and shrugged. “I got smack.”
That would work.
Theo only bought three stamp bags, enough to take the edge off for a couple of days, then sped back to Hawkins with them in his pocket.
It was not a habit, it would not become a habit. Theo would relieve the edge, the stress of - of… of moving, and then he would never again touch the poison.
Theo repeated that to himself while he drove, while he ignored Sirius’s too-knowing eyes upon his return, while he informed him that he was sick and not going to school in the morning, and while he smoked behind the house where the odor wouldn’t alarm Sirius.
Three bags, three times.
Then Theo would be done.
The heroin dropped Theo low, so low that he nearly didn’t make it back to his bed before he dropped into a deep and peaceful sleep. Everything inside of his mind went silent, his skin no longer itched with desire.
It would have been better if Harry were there, but Theo couldn’t have him there. There was almost no part of Theo that he didn’t want to share with Harry - to share with his Harry - but the sick need that crept up on him was something Harry wouldn’t understand.
How could he? Harry was strong, resilient, amazing. Theo was weak, desperate, a Slytherin through ambition only.
Still though, Theo curled on his side and hugged a pillow to his chest, he wished that Harry were there and that he would understand Theo as easily as he had when they were children.