Even Stranger Magic

"Are you ready?" Billy had a cigarette tucked in his mouth, a backpack of supplies over his shoulder, and a serious expression that didn't suit him very well.

"Yeah." Steve took a deep breath, focused on the fist Billy was making. "Let's do this."

"Rock, paper, scissors - shoot!"

Steve threw scissors, Billy threw rock.

"Best two out of three," Steve insisted quickly. Billy's lips twitched up in a grin and he nodded, cocky ass.

"Rock, paper, scissors - shoot!"

"You can't do rock twice in a row!" Steve cried.

"Why not? You did scissors?" Billy slapped Steve's shoulder and then jerked his thumb toward the Camaro. "I won, fair and square. You can have shotgun, we'll put Munson in the back."

Steve didn't want shotgun, he didn't want to ride in Billy's car, he didn't even really want to go on the trip Billy planned. Except Billy planned a trip and it seemed like he really wanted Steve to go… so he tossed his bag in the trunk and took the passenger seat while Eddie bounded up to the car with his own bag.

Except Billy was so freaking excited when he climbed in the car that Steve was almost excited, it was like contagious.

"Ready, boys?" Billy kicked the car on and he was smiling hugely. Steve didn't think he'd ever seen Billy actually smile that hard.

"California here we come," he whooped.

California here we come.

It was Billy's plan and Steve was pretty sure half of his idea was just for Steve's benefit, which was nice of him or whatever. Billy even did the leg-work with filling out forms to call the entire thing a college scouting trip.

And Billy even scheduled a time for them to tour the college, the University of Southern California, so their forms were signed and the entire trip was excused.

All Steve had to do was pack a bag and pretend to be excited. It was going to be cool, seeing the ocean, Steve just wasn't in the mood for a ‘road trip'. Everything had kind of sucked lately: school sucked, basketball sucked, the swim team really sucked. Steve hadn't apologized to Harry yet and it made every interaction painful and the ones they weren't having were just as bad.

Harry was freaking made for swim team. He was a natural in the way that Steve wished he was. And when tryouts rolled around, Harry never showed up. Because of Steve, probably. Or the freaking boyfriend.

Probably Steve though.

Maybe a week out of Hawkins would actually be good, Steve shouldn't have thrown such a fit. If everything sucked - then a week away from the suck would be better, right? Right.

"That's the spirit!" Billy aimed a light fist at Steve's shoulder when Steve relaxed in his seat. They were already on the highway and Steve thought his problems lightened with every mile they traveled away from everything.

"Yeah, yeah." Steve grinned, a little begrudgingly, and shook his head. "This was still insane, man. Do you even know where you're going?"

"West," Billy said, as breezy as the wind filling the car. "Away from Hickville, directly to the sunshine."

God, Billy was like a whole new person. It struck Steve then, how much he must miss California. It also struck him that on Billy's big road trip back to his home state, he decided to take Steve and Eddie instead of Sirianna.

Which then made Steve feel like a bitch for being - well, a bitch, about the whole thing.

"I can't believe you didn't bring a surfboard," Steve joked, resolving himself to be cheerful about the trip since Billy was so psyched. Billy had been a really freaking good friend to Steve, the least Steve could do was be pumped about something Billy was over the moon for.

"I don't have one," Billy said. He scoffed, though his grin never faded. "And I wasn't going to find one in fuckin' Indiana, dude."

"You don't have a surfboard?" Steve turned in his seat and pulled one leg up to tuck beneath him. He glanced in the back, but Eddie was already passed out across the back row of seats.

"Nah. I had to get rid of it when we moved here." Billy's voice was even, calm, but he had to light a cigarette before he finished explaining with a wry smile that was a far cry from the easy one he had before. "Neil said I wasn't ever going to surf again, no reason to bring it."

"He made you sell your surfboard?" Steve asked, kind of hurt and pissed off about that. Billy loved to surf, Steve knew that before they were even friends. Making Billy get rid of his board, at the same time as making him leave his home, was - was like abusive in its own right.

"Sell it? Nah." Billy flicked his cigarette and shrugged. "I bitched about leaving it behind, he broke it. No need to bring a broken board."

Oh. Oh… that.

"Oh." Steve didn't know what to say. "That sucks."

Billy snorted at the serious understatement and then Steve stopped talking for a few minutes, kind of thinking about how much he hated Neil Hargrove. When Steve turned back forward and glanced over at Billy subtly, studying him without being caught, it made Steve wish Neil a lot of pain and misery.

Harry had been too nice about it. Steve wished he wasn't - wasn't just a nice freaking person. Neil deserved to have his brain melted and leaking out of his ears, not to just have his memory of Billy erased.

Because Billy, Billy who was all happy and singing to the radio and practically vibrating with excitement? Billy who had made Steve a garden and repainted the living room and who started building a dog house for his puppy? Billy? That Billy?

That could have been him all the time, probably. Billy didn't have to spend years miserable and trying to spread it, he could have been a happy guy. Billy was sarcastic, smart as hell, funny, and overly competitive. He was a dick in the mornings, could grill but not bake, and never put the toilet seat down when he used the bathroom. But he was a good person, a happier person lately.

And he could have been like that all the time if it weren't for Neil.

"I hate your dad," Steve commented when they passed the Missouri line. It had been quiet for a while, just Billy singing to the radio, and Steve just wanted him to know that he hated Neil.

It seemed like important information to share.

"Yeah?" Even Steve bringing up Billy's dad didn't dampen Billy's mood. They'd been driving for hours, Eddie slept most of the time, Steve was starting to get kind of bored. Billy only smirked at Steve briefly before continuing down the highway.

"I hate your parents, so I guess we're even," Billy said. He grabbed his drink they stopped at the gas station for and raised it in a mocking toast while Steve tried to make that make sense.

Yeah, Steve's parents were - they weren't… well, they weren't abusive.

"That's different," Steve said, mumbling some in an embarrassed and awkward explanation. "They're just - I dunno, disgusted, or whatever. But they never…" Steve flapped a hand, thinking vividly of the bootprint shaped bruise on Billy's ribs after his ‘wreck'. Steve's parents never broke his belongings either, they also never took Steve off their checking account or kicked him from their house.

So… yeah.

"Never kicked your ass?" Billy asked, too calmly. When he looked over just enough for Steve to see a quirked eyebrow, Steve didn't even see any of the old Billy in his expression.

"Right," Steve agreed uncomfortably. He wasn't trying to brag, it sounded braggy, Steve was just saying that Billy should save his hate for Neil and not Steve's parents.

"So they're not abusive?"

"Right," Steve said again, definitely uncomfortable. Was it really the whole idea of a road trip that had Billy all bubbly and gung-ho and throwing words like ‘abusive' around so easily? California must be freaking magical.

… a different level of magical than Hawkins had become.

"Except they are, they suck, and I hate them," Billy said, side-tracking Steve's thoughts again with how wrong he was. Billy started changing lanes, moving over to the lane on the right side, and swatted his hand toward the back seat. "Munson, time to wake up, princess. You're up for driving."

Steve should have waited or shut up or something but Billy couldn't just say shit about Steve's parents and not expect Steve to argue about it.

"My parents are not abusive," Steve said firmly, making sure that was clear. Steve didn't know how Billy got that idea, but his parents had never laid a hand on him. Steve didn't even get spanked when he was a kid like Tommy always had by his dad.

"They are," Billy said. Then before Steve could argue, "Munson! I mean it, I will leave you here to get eaten by a bear!"

"If we're just talking about Steve's parents, can I sleep?" Eddie whined from the backseat, like he hadn't slept the whole time.

"Eight hours, we agreed," Billy said, glancing up in the rearview mirror and narrowing his eyes at Eddie. "And you better not be high, I will leave your ass in Missouri if you try and drive my fuckin car high."

"It was melatonin," Eddie grumbled while Steve was still stewing over Billy's comment. It wasn't funny, Steve's parents didn't hurt him, just like… his feelings or whatever.

"Who do I look like?" Eddie pushed himself up and popped his head between the two front seats. "Theo?"

Another joke that wasn't funny. Everyone knew, everyone freaking knew, that Theo had started showing up to school messed up on something a lot worse than pot. Billy told Sirianna, she said she asked Theo what was going on, he denied it.

Then Theo turned around and tried to buy heroin from Eddie. Eddie told Chrissy, Chrissy told Sirianna, Theo told Sirianna that Eddie was lying. Then suddenly their lunch group was divided and it was all Theo's fault and Harry didn't look like he liked it anymore than Steve did and Steve's parents were not freaking abusive.

Steve couldn't do anything about Harry's boyfriend, but he could fix whatever idea Billy had in his head.

"My parents never hit me," Steve said, cutting off Billy's complaint about Theo. It wasn't that Steve didn't like hearing how other people saw what an obsessive and addicted dick Theo was, it was that Steve was stuck on the abuse thing.

"Cool." Billy took the next exit, one that had a sign for a twenty-four hour truck stop. Steve would buy them all food from there, Billy wanted to drive straight to California since all three of them could drive.

"I'm not bragging." Steve flushed, feeling like an asshole. "I just mean - they didn't abuse me."

"Jesus fucking Christ. Shut up for two minutes, will you?" Billy sighed, but it wasn't pissed off, it was like some exasperated parent with a kid who kept asking for ice cream. Steve did shut up though, if only because Billy looked like he was thinking hard while he navigated the car to the truck stop.

When Billy finally lit a cigarette and parked the car in the parking lot instead of by the pump, Steve thought he probably wasn't going to like whatever he had to say.

"Look, we are not ruining this trip by bitching about shit we can't change, okay?" Billy started, not saying another word until Steve nodded - as did Eddie in the backseat.

"So they didn't swing a belt or a fist at you, big whoop," Billy said, his tone biting even if his eyes were kind of too soft to pull it off just right. "They left you, dude. Like your whole fucking childhood they've been gone and now they just fucked right off in the sunset? You're not even an adult, you think that shit's not abusive?"

It… no, not really.

"They worked," Steve said, his argument sounding flimsy even to himself. It wasn't really an argument, it was the truth though. "It's not - not the same thing, Billy." And Steve suddenly didn't want to talk about it at all anymore. "Let's just get snacks, gas, whatever."

"Aht." Billy hit the button for the lock when Steve tried to get out of the car, away from the conversation he just had to poke at. "Nope. Cause we're not going to talk about this shit again this week, you're not going to be thinking about it, all our fucking problems stay in Indiana," Billy said sternly.

"We're in Missouri," Eddie piped up, getting a swift middle finger from Billy that would have been a fist not so long ago. Billy was still fixated on Steve and Steve - Steve didn't have any reason to not steal a cigarette from him.

Who cared if Steve smoked? Not Harry, not his parents. Not Billy either, Billy at least let Steve light the damn thing before he kept on with the shit Steve didn't actually want to hear anymore.

"They didn't have to kick your ass to leave bruises and scars, Steve." Billy suddenly looked older, older than Steve or Eddie both - despite being the youngest of the three. "Some of the worst scars aren't physical, man. They abandoned you, they discarded you, they made you think you're someone who could be thrown away, alright? It's fucking abuse. And - you know… you didn't deserve that. You don't. Okay? They're abusive, I hate them, we good?"

Steve's eyes prickled and he inhaled on his cigarette hard enough to burn that feeling away, thanks. Steve was not going to cry because Billy Hargrove said Steve didn't deserve to be left behind by his parents.

Abandoned.

Abused.

Shoe on the other foot, Steve - Steve could see Billy's point. Except he didn't want to and weren't they supposed to be having fun or something?

"Yeah, yup," Steve said quickly, a little high pitched but nobody called him out. "We're good. I'm hungry, anyone else hungry? Eddie? Food?"

"Fuck yes." Eddie was out of the car as quickly as Steve was the instant Billy unlocked them from the horrifyingly uncomfortable conversation. Billy climbed out more languidly, since nobody was telling him something he didn't know, and he paused to finish his cigarette before they went inside.

Steve was caught up in his thoughts - his parents, Harry, Billy's dad, all of the shit that he did want to leave in Indiana - and started grabbing food at random from the shelves while Billy got drinks and Eddie went to the bathroom. Steve insisted on paying for everything so Billy shrugged and prepaid for fuel to fill up the car while Steve's purchases were bagged up.

Steve had the cashier add a few packs of cigarettes and an extra lighter to the bag, only in case of more shitty conversations. If Steve didn't smoke them, Billy and eddie would - those guys were freaking chimneys.

They all finished up about the same time and played shuffle in the car. Eddie took the driver's seat, Billy called dibs on the passenger seat, so Steve crawled in the back and started tossing candy, chips, and soda to everyone else.

"Which way?" Eddie asked when he pulled out of the lot. Steve didn't know why Billy wanted to be up front and awake while Eddie drove his car, he already looked stressed about the decision.

"West," Billy said tightly. "For fuck's sake, man, don't - don't fucking hit anything, alright? I'm going to be pissed if we have to take up sun-time to get my car fixed because you can't fucking drive."

"I can drive just fine," Eddie insisted. Steve didn't have any reason to doubt him, Billy was a worse driver than Eddie. "Are we still talking about your guys's shitty parents or can I turn on some music?"

"Music," Steve and Billy said at the same time, making Steve grin a little when the awkward discomfort began to lift and Billy's excitement filled the car again.

"Wait a minute!" Billy grabbed Eddie's hand by the wrist when he reached for the radio and Steve wondered what he had already done wrong while he opened up his bag of gummy bears.

"You live with your uncle," Billy said to Eddie.

"Yup," Eddie quipped. "Uncle Wayne, good guy."

Steve bit the head off a gummy bear, waited to find out what Billy's problem was.

"So where's your fuckin parents?" Billy demanded. "No way you get a free ride, hearing stupid shit about ours. Cough it up, Munson, what's your sad story?"

"Nothing." Eddie pulled his hand from Billy's grip and played drums on the steering wheel while he cruised down the interstate. "Mom's dead, Dad's in prison. Sorry, fellas, I guess I can't join your super cool club."

Billy's eyebrows shot up and Steve was busy chewing his gummy bears to say anything, but he shook his head in disbelief when Billy glanced at him. Somehow, Steve knew exactly what Billy was saying with just that one look - ‘Is he fucking serious?'

When Steve learned Billy's mannerisms, he wasn't sure. It was cool though, if Billy knew Steve too well then at least it was mutual or whatever.

"Your old man's in prison and you think you're out of the club?" Billy shook his head again and then abruptly leaned his seat all the way back, nearly smashing the pile of road trip snacks on the bench beside Steve. "You can be like the fucking vice-president," Billy told him.

"Fuck yeah," Eddie said, throwing a dramatically cheerful fist out the open window. He leaned his head out of it too and Steve was glad Billy threw his arm over his face to try and sleep because he'd have a freaking stroke if he saw it.

"Hear that?" Eddie crowed. "I'm vice-president!"

Steve didn't think that was something to brag about, but Eddie was a weird guy. He was cool, Steve liked him more and more, but damn he was weird.

"Who's president then?" Steve asked Billy, unable to resist.

"Me, dumbass," Billy said, his voice muffled by his arm. He flipped on his side and Steve handed him one of the pillows Eddie had smashed on the floor in the back so he could get comfortable.

"But we live in your mansion, so I guess you're treasurer," Billy muttered, apparently his version of ‘thanks for the pillow, Steve'. "Now shut the fuck up so I can sleep. Wake me up if Munson puts a single scratch on my car."

Eddie sputtered and started some overly energetic spiel about what a great driver he was so Steve leaned up to kick the radio on, turning it up loud enough to drown him out. Billy could sleep through music, he seemed to prefer it like that most of the time.

When Steve learned that about a guy who he hated just a year ago, he wasn't sure. It was probably around the same time as when Billy learned entirely too much about Steve.

It should have been uncomfortable to think, but it wasn't. Steve - Steve liked it. He liked not having any secrets with his friends and he liked that they could have horrible conversations in the middle of an impulsive cross-country road trip.

And Steve liked when he saw the sign for the Kansas state line approaching and he decided to take Billy's advice - he was leaving all his shit in Indiana.

The fight with Harry, Theo and his drug problem, Steve's parents who left their own invisible scar on Steve's chest… all of it stayed in Indiana.

Or Missouri, whatever. It wasn't going to Kansas, which was the point. And it sure as hell wasn't going to California where the very first thing Steve was going to do was buy his best friend a new surfboard and find a way to take it back to Indiana with them.