Even Stranger Magic

Everything that Sirius and Theo had told Harry just hours ago replayed in his mind on an endless loop…

The man who killed his parents was terrorizing the country, killing witches and wizards like El - muggleborns. Voldemort was a monster, a terrible evil, and many people, including Sirius, believed that Harry was the only one who could stop him.

Harry could save lives, if he went. That was what they said, they said that Harry could save lives. The wizards in white coats who took him and his sister had twisted the magic inside of Harry and turned it into a weapon - they wanted Harry to use it against Voldemort.

"Harry?" A fuzzy blanket was wrapped around Harry and it was almost as warm as the arms that accompanied the blanket. Harry was shivering, frozen in the cabin that he was thinking - not ‘hiding', but thinking - in.

Sirius thought Harry could save lives? Harry accidentally took himself to an abandoned cabin surrounded by mountains of snow when he wanted to go home. Harry dragged Steve along when he touched his shirt sleeve at the wrong time.

Harry wasn't a hero, he didn't want to be one. Harry was useless, cold, he didn't want a duty to protect other people.

"Nobody's going to make you go," Steve said quietly, sinking down to sit beside Harry. They had started a fire in the fireplace and it crackled away with mesmerizing flames that Harry couldn't look away from.

"Your sister told them to shut the hell up, I heard her. You don't owe them anything."

No, Harry didn't. Where were they when Harry was a child, when Siri was a child, and they were being tortured? Who had stepped in when it was Harry being killed over and over and over?

"Harry?" Steve had his arm around Harry still and his voice was soft, sweet. It made Harry's throat ache to turn his head even a little to see his big brown eyes staring at him. "I don't want you to go," Steve whispered. He reached up slowly and placed his hand on Harry's cheek.

It burned, at first. It was hot and nearly painful, then it became warm and Harry closed his eyes, leaned his face into Steve's hand.

"Don't go," Steve said. "Please. Let's stay here, just us."

Harry could see that, he could. Harry could picture himself and Steve staying in their cabin in the snow, staying curled up in front of the fire with each other to keep warm. They could have hot chocolate, tea, toasted biscuits. Steve could talk about basketball, Harry would tell him the exact temperature that they would need to melt the snow outside if they wanted to ever leave.

It would be safe, Harry would be content and warm and happy.

The problem with that vision was that Harry could also picture a wizard, faceless in his vision but with robes of flawless white. He would walk through a castle full of children and kill the ones who he considered to be lesser. Before their death, there would be pain and blood - they would learn what flesh smelled like when it was singed off of bones, they would know how loudly they could scream before their throat would tear. They might learn the pain of having a blade driven through the center of their forehead.

Theo could be one of them, he could be caught up in the fight and he would be tormented and tortured.

Then they would all die for it, they would die.

Sirius and Theo believed that Harry could keep those children, all those innocent children, from that fate. Theo believed that Harry could be the hero that he himself had needed for years. Theo believed in Harry, even if Harry didn't believe in himself.

"Harry…" Steve's voice shook when his thumb swiped under Harry's eye, picking up a trail of wetness and smearing it on his cheek. "Tell me you're crying because we're staying. Tell me you're crying because - because you love me too."

Why would he say that? Why would he say that he loved Harry when they both knew that Harry couldn't stay?

"I do." Harry opened his eyes and had to blink away the blurriness, blink until he could clearly see Steve's eyes in front of him. Harry did love him, Harry loved him and he wanted to stay and he wanted to have Steve say he loved him two times every hour to make up for the hours he would spend sleeping.

But Harry couldn't have that if it meant children were being treated the way that he and Siri had been.

"I love you," Harry said. His lower lip quivered and he tried to sound strong, firm, sure. "But I'm going to go with Theo and Sirius, I'm going to help if I can."

Steve tried to get Harry to stay, he begged him with tears on his face to not leave. Harry thought that defeating Voldemort would be easy compared to how hard it was for him to leave Steve there, alone.

When Harry and Theo walked in Hogwarts together, hand-in-hand, planning to defeat evil together, Harry could still see Steve in his mind. Steve's crooked smile, the way his hair lightened over the summer, the freckles that popped out on his skin. Harry imagined he could feel Steve's arms around him while he walked through the castle that had once been home and tried to find the wizard responsible for other childrens' pain and suffering.

And when Harry found him, when Harry prepared to try and save every kid who needed someone to stand up for them, Steve's face was the very last thing that he saw while green light flew toward him with a vicious cry—

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Harry woke with a gasp and sat up quickly, too quickly. He knocked his head on the bars of the bed above him and kicked and struggled until he accidentally rolled off his bed. Harry hit the floor, right beside where his sister slept on a trundle bed, and he heard a tired sigh.

"Harry?" Siri started shuffling around. "Bubby? Did you have a nightmare?"

Did he? Was it a nightmare? Why… why would Harry have a nightmare like that?

"Yes," he whispered, shivering from the sweat that cooled on his skin.

"Come on." Siri held up an arm and Harry could see the opening she made for him through the darkness of their room. "We can cuddle and you can tell me about it in the morning."

"Okay." Harry crawled over to Siri's bed and slid under the blanket. They both shifted around, moved until they were comfortable. It was Siri who made Harry's heartbeat slow, his cold chills to disappear.

"Siri?" Harry whispered his sister's name, wanted to ask her something while they were alone. It was embarrassing, but she wouldn't laugh at him. Harry had his head on her shoulder and she smoothed his hair repeatedly, calming them both from the dull fear Harry's strange dream caused.

"Hm?"

"If… if you think you love two people, how do you choose?" Harry asked her.

"Oh, that's easy." Siri bent her head and placed a small kiss on Harry's forehead. "All you need to do is ask yourself…"