Even Stranger Magic

It started at lunch.

Well, maybe it started sooner and Billy just didn't give a shit until it involved him - which was at lunch.

Lunch was annoying enough lately, there were too many fucking people sitting around Billy. There had been months where Billy sat alone, nobody bothered him, nobody gave a fuck.

Then Sirianna Lily Hammond-Potter showed up and ruined everything. All of a sudden, Billy was sitting at the most populated fucking table in the cafeteria. Even the douches that Steve used to be best buddies with didn't have as many people crowded together, bumping elbows, sharing their stories of schooltime terrors.

There was Sirianna and Harry, Steve, Jonathan and the Nancy chick he was banging that used to make-out with Steve. Sirianna's bestie Chrissy started sitting with them, her boyfriend Jason Carver. And somehow, against the rules of logic, somehow selling Harry cocaine once had scored Eddie Munson a seat at their table.

It was irritating as fuck.

Billy's seat stayed open, he had gotten pissy the first time that Carver had taken it, but it didn't mean that everyone didn't talk to him. Sirianna, great. Harry, didn't do it. Steve, whatever - they were roommates kind of.

The rest of them? God, Billy just wanted to eat his shitty school lunch in peace. Maybe flirt with his girl, maybe watch the losers in the school while they sniffed around each other at their tables like animals.

Lunch was usually loud and Billy liked it as much as Harry, then Steve decided to make it a clusterfuck of epic proportions one day by being a dumbass.

"Nancy!" Steve fell in a seat, wild-eyed and fucking insane. He actually dropped his elbow in Billy's sandwich and Billy pushed the tray away, knocking Steve's arm down unnoticed. Everyone else's side conversations went quiet while they tuned in to see what was up with Steve.

"Yes?" Nancy asked, tilting her head and speaking oh so properly. Billy didn't get the appeal that she had for Steve or Jonathan. Yeah, maybe they liked someone all prim and proper, but Billy liked when chicks were gritty, real, with some fire.

"Are you busy tonight?" Steve asked her, ignoring everyone else and focusing solely on Nancy. "I need you to come to dinner at my place."

"What the fuck? Why?" Billy asked. It wasn't a big deal, Billy didn't have his fucking heart set on it or anything, but they had put on steaks to marinade before they left for school and Billy thought it was for them. Billy would grill up steaks, Steve would make a salad or some pasta or something, at no point did Billy think Nancy Wheeler would be joining them.

Steve didn't answer Billy, he was staring at Nancy like she held the key to his entire future.

"Please?" he asked. "My parents are coming home tonight."

Oh fuck.

Billy had been hoping, stupidly, that Steve's parents were kind of imaginary. Sure, Steve said they existed, but nobody else had ever met them, so how real were they? Maybe Steve was some rich fucking orphan who pretended to have parents ‘away on business' so he didn't have to deal with CPS. Billy wasn't judging, Billy was just bumming in the Harringtons' pool house… a cozy arrangement that had a real close expiration date apparently.

Sirianna placed her hand on Billy's knee under the table when it started jiggling. Billy wasn't exactly prepared to be tossed out on his ass. He'd been working, a part-time gig with the city park - just shit like mowing and pulling weeds on the weekends.

It didn't pay great, Billy didn't really have much leftover after he put gas in his car, bought cigarettes, tried to buy some food to keep in the pool house in case Steve got sick of sharing every fucking meal together. Basketball dues wiped out the measly money Billy had saved though, so fuck a whole lot of even renting a motel for a night or two.

So, yeah, fuck Billy for hoping that Steve's parents were figments of his fucking imagination.

"Why do you need Nancy to come over because your parents are coming home?" Chrissy asked, her chirpy fucking voice cutting through Billy's pathetic attempts at making a game plan.

His car for a few weeks? Drop out of school and find a full-time job? There might be some places that would ignore a seventeen year-old working during the day - they wouldn't pay great though.

"I - I told them I had a girlfriend," Steve said, his rush of words quieting Billy's mental planning. Billy turned his head so he could look Steve dead in the fucking eyes while he made him repeat himself.

"You told them what?" Billy asked.

Harry's shoulders curled up some and Billy didn't notice Sirianna's hand left his knee to find her brother's hand, he wouldn't have minded if he did notice it. As far as Billy knew, Steve had some first grade romance going on with baby bird.

That was the worst part of living in Steve's house - pool house - having to watch Steve and Harry dance around each other with their little oh so shy smiles and their fucking innocent kind-of-hand-holding. It was fucking ridiculous to watch, even if Billy and Sirianna got a kick out of it every now and again, and suddenly all the hours Billy spent rolling his eyes at them was for nothing?

"It just fell out!" Steve's voice got as squeaky as his cheeks got pink with everyone's attention on him. Every fucking person at that table had to step in at least once when Steve was getting fucking gay bashed. Billy figured if he couldn't pay rent, he'd at least keep Steve from getting his ass kicked… everyone else just liked him, or something.

Carver might have actually only done it because Chrissy said she'd stop screwing him if he wasn't nice to gay boys.

"My mom said they were coming home and I panicked and she asked about my grades and basketball then she asked if I was dating anyone and I - I said yes!" Steve said, twisting his fingers around anxiously. "She said she wanted to meet her this weekend. So - so, Nancy? Please?"

For the love of God…

"Steve," Nancy was about to be sickeningly sweet, Billy could see it in her gooey soft eyes. "No, I can't pretend to be your girlfriend."

Jonathan nodded his head, though Billy knew he would have fucking loaned his girlfriend out if Steve asked - pussy.

"I can come sit with you if you want to tell your parents that you're - you know," Nancy whipped her head around before leaning toward Steve and whispering, "bisexual."

Billy, only thanks to years of practice not reacting to Neil's shit, didn't show he was disgusted. But seriously? Some people were fucking eating.

Munson. Munson was eating and watching everything happen with bloodshot eyes that probably only tracked half the shit going on.

Steve sunk down in his seat, making Billy instinctively straighten up. If his only payment toward housing was keeping Steve's ass from getting kicked, whatever, there were worse ways to earn a bed at night. Billy glared at Carver first, but the dude didn't seem to give a shit at all.

Chrissy must fuck like a porn star.

Outside of Carver, nobody else even blinked. Steve was the one who cringed like a little bitch when he was the one who wanted to act all in love with Harry while he had fucked half the chicks in their year.

"Shut up," Steve mumbled, his eyes ticking to Harry then quickly back to the table. Harry didn't lift his eyes from the table and Billy was going to knock both their heads together.

‘Let them figure it out, they're so close', Sirianna said. It had been stupid fucking advice and Billy shouldn't have listened to it.

"Whatever. The answer is no, I won't be your fake girlfriend," Nancy said, shutting that dumb idea down.

Or not.

Steve was a lot more stupid than Billy ever gave him credit for because instead of moving on, he slowly looked at Chrissy.

"Chrissy?" he asked, all hopeful like that would happen.

"Buddy, be serious." Carver had his arm around his girl and he was smiling, a real strained and possessive sort of smile. "I get split custody as is."

Billy quirked a grin because that was what he had said, told Carver that they were part-time boyfriends while their girlfriends were part-time girlfriends with each other. They'd had a laugh about, then split a bottle of whiskey when they started to realize it was about the fucking truth.

The mildly amused grin that Billy had died quicker than anything when Steve fucking moved his eyes from Chrissy to Sirianna.

"Steve." Billy took a breath, made sure he was being rational and Sirianna couldn't bitch about it later. He was, he felt real rational. "I will fucking kill you," he promised.

Not as a joke, not for a night, not for ten fucking seconds. Billy didn't care if Harry wanted to put on a wig and play pretend for Steve's parents, his fucking girlfriend was not going to sit by Steve's side and act like she wasn't as much Billy's as he was hers.

Not. Fucking. Happening.

"Great! Thanks!" Steve jumped up all pissy and threw his hands up; fucking drama queen. "No, really, thanks all of you! I'm so glad I could count on you guys to help me out!"

Billy sat back against the corner where he always sat and watched Steve storm out of the cafeteria, prissy as shit.

"What was that?" Chrissy breathed, her eyes perfectly round.

Billy scoffed, crossed his arms over his chest and ignored Sirianna's unimpressed little glare at his bitter explanation.

"That was Queen Steve, defending his fucking title."

It wasn't a fucking jab about Steve being gay, it was a commentary on how Steve was dramatic as fuck.

Steve was a bitch for their next few classes, Billy ignored him. All Steve had to do was tell Mommy that his ‘girlfriend' dumped him and that was why she wasn't there. Nancy was a stupid choice anyway, she was all ‘let's talk about your preference for dick with your parents'. Really, if Steve was dead set on pretending that he wasn't in love with a dude, Munson could probably pull off a dress.

Billy expected Steve to still be pissy in gym, but he wasn't. He teamed up with Billy and Harry to rotate spotters for free weights and Billy waited for him to explain while he worked on his chest.

"I'm bringing Robin to dinner tonight," Steve announced. Billy grunted because who the fuck was Robin? Harry didn't say a fucking word because his little fragile feelings were probably being kicked by Steve's stupidity.

"Cool," Billy said. He had half a set left, he guessed he'd get eight more reps in before Steve was pouring his heart out about whoever that was.

Twelve… thirteen… fourteen… fifteen…

"She's in band and I guess she knows Munson? I don't know, but he told her I was looking for a girlfriend for the night and she just told me she'd do it? Which, cool, right?"

Robin… Buckley…? The fucking dyke?

Billy huffed and pushed the barbell up into the rack so he could catch his breath before he sat up to stare incredulously at Steve. Billy didn't turn to look at Harry, who was supposed to be spotting him in Billy's most suicidal choice to date, because he knew he was going to be all doe-eyed and sad.

Which was Steve's fucking job to care about.

"You got one of the few chicks in this school who don't even give handjobs to agree to be your fucking fake girlfriend?" Billy asked, wiping his forehead and staring incredulously at Steve, checking that he understood him clearly.

"I don't want a handjob?" Steve said, crossing his arms over his chest. He had to know he was being stupid, he wouldn't get defensive otherwise. "You don't get it, Billy, okay? It's my parents, I can't just - I can't just tell them things."

Yeah, Billy didn't get it. How the fuck could he? Billy didn't have rich as fuck parents who left him a god damned mansion and visited twice a year. Billy didn't actually have any parents left and that wasn't on Steve, but fuck him anyway.

"Yeah, hiding behind some chick is gonna fix everything," Billy said, adding a bitter laugh because he was pissed. Steve winced and Billy wasn't going to apologize, Steve was a fucking idiot and Billy didn't have to sit there and play pretend.

Billy didn't have make believe parents or a make believe relationship. Billy had a real possibility of being homeless and nowhere to fall back to. Sirianna would bitch that Billy could stay with her, he couldn't - Chief Hopper already had three kids in a two-bedroom. A few of the lunch crowd might toss up token offers out of pity, but Billy wasn't going to get comfy in someone else's house again.

God damn it. Billy had gotten comfortable, gotten used to the little house he decorated with all of his shit. Billy couldn't even remember where half of his clothes were anymore - as scattered as they were between the pool house and Steve's main house.

"No, really," Billy got to his feet, decided to hell with class and to hell with the entire idea of graduating. He pushed Steve, for something to do with his hands, and didn't care if Steve actually fucking flinched. "I'm sure that if you pick the right pretend girlfriend that maybe your parents will start showing up more than twice a year, right? You be a good boy, Stevie, they'll start giving a shit! You just have to pretend hard enough!"

"Hey, don't push him," Harry said, speaking up and pissing Billy off. He was going to defend Steve when Steve was practically screaming in his face that Harry didn't mean jack to him? Really?

"Why?" Billy spun around and people were watching them, lighting up like sharks who could smell blood in the water. "Did you want to do it?" he asked Harry, mockingly-serious. "Because you should. If you had a backbone, you'd knock his fucking teeth out and find someone who gave a shit."

"You don't fucking get it!" Steve yelled, like that was going to calm the situation down. "You've got no idea! They aren't going to show up and just - just be thrilled with me! They won't even know me, Billy! It's not going to be a fist fight with my dad, I will never see them again!"

"Yeah?" Billy couldn't see, he was so mad. Everything in the room was blurred except for Steve and his very punchable face. So Billy focused on that, focused on Steve who kept screaming that Billy ‘didn't understand' when Billy could have - he could have.

If Steve had asked, Billy could have told him exactly what it was like to have two parents living and breathing and leading entire lives without him involved in it.

But Steve didn't ask and Billy didn't give a shit.

Billy's fist flew forward and connected with Steve's jaw, harder than he meant, sending Steve stumbling back with a look of utter betrayal. The shock in Steve's wide eyes, mixed with the hurt tightening his features, cut deep.

Too deep, not deep enough.

"Tell them the only person you fuck is yourself, then do just that," Billy said, breathing hard despite his calm words. He smirked at Steve, because he didn't give a single shit if Steve looked like he'd just been hit by someone he trusted, then he walked out of the gym, straight to his car.

Fuck Steve, fuck Hawkins High.

And fuck Billy for thinking that things were going to end up alright.

Billy peeled out of the high school lot, very briefly considered trying to kidnap Max from school for someone to bitch to. He might have, but in the mood he was in Billy thought he might end up just taking everything out on her and things there were rocky enough.

If Billy was throwing punches and burning bridges, he figured Max didn't need his shit thrown at her again. Max dealt with enough with Billy and Neil's last fight and Harry fucking with Neil's head.

Nah, Billy really just needed to be alone. That usually meant the quarry, but Sirianna would show up there and Billy wasn't in the mood to be bitched at for being a dick.

There weren't many places to park and drink in Hawkins without being bothered. The park was too public, the downtown square too close to the police station. Billy didn't want to sit on a backroad and end up getting picked up by a county cop instead of warned away by a city cop.

That left the mall parking lot. It was just busy enough to hide Billy's car in the mix of moms spending the day blowing their money on shit they didn't need, not so busy that Billy would be heckled by too many people.

Billy slid his car in the furthest row away from the entrance that still had two other cars in it. He turned the radio down enough to not draw attention and slid a bottle from under the passenger seat. It was Steve's and that reignited the flame in his stomach - it was also expensive as fuck, which could dampen the flame once he got into it.

Billy leaned the driver's seat back and took a swig, letting the liquor burn down through him. Billy closed his eyes, took another drink, let those flames replace the others. Liquor was a safer option than lashing out, he was only hurting himself that way.

"Shoulda tried it, Dad," Billy murmured to himself, raising the bottle in a toast. He took a longer drink, invited the flames to scorch away the anger. Billy was so god damned sick of being angry, and he thought - he thought… well, fuck it, it didn't matter what he thought.

The reality was that Billy was on his own and he shouldn't have trusted Steve Harrington anymore than he should have believed that one day he and Neil would have a normal fucking relationship.

Billy let himself think that - yeah, alright, he didn't have any parent left, no real fucking family, but, hey! Billy had a cozy place to crash, someone to hang out with and talk basketball or whatever the fuck else came up. Billy didn't get any peace at lunch, he got to listen to a bunch of other people talking to him and asking him to do shit with them. Billy had a part-time job, his car had gas, there were cigarettes to be smoked.

So Billy didn't need Neil, like he never needed his mom. They were gone and Billy could deal; he did deal. It wasn't much but it had been something and Billy didn't think about it, but everything could always be gone.

Anything could disappear at any time. So every little thing that Billy had going for him - gone. Poof.

Billy lit a cigarette, blew a smoke ring out of his mouth.

"Poof."

If Sirianna were there, if she were there and not comforting her brother while he stood on his side of the bridge Billy tossed gasoline on and then burned, she would tell him to quit being a dick. Not in those words, she would say it in words that almost didn't make sense, maybe call him a wanker or something else that made Billy grin, but she would say it.

Sirianna wasn't there though, Billy was alone and he'd burn down the bridge between them soon enough. The monster in Billy's chest, the one that was his father's son, wouldn't be satisfied until Billy stood on his island all alone without a single friendly face in sight.

Billy was only a fourth of the way through the bottle and beginning to lose feeling in his fingertips when a van pulled in the parking lot, catching his attention, and he slumped down when he recognized it. Eddie Munson.

Awesome.

They weren't friends, they just ran in the same circle lately. Eddie tried to sell Harry an eighth of coke, Billy made him cry when he sold it to the first dude looking to score for a pathetically low price of fifty bucks. Billy could have gotten more for it if he held on to it, waited to find a serious buyer, but the longer he had it the more he wanted it and Billy had enough vices as it was.

Munson parked a few spots over and Billy knew he'd been spotted when he saw Munson strolling directly toward him. Since Billy didn't tell him to fuck off in time, Munson leaned against Billy's door and nodded casually at him.

"Long day?" Munson asked, eyeing Billy's bottle with a knowing gaze. "Interested in a trade?"

Billy heard that before. He took a drink and kept his eyes straight ahead, wouldn't give in to Munson's bullshit.

"‘M not a queer, Munson," Billy told him shortly. "Try a fuckin' truck stop."

Munson chuckled and pulled a joint from the pocket of his jeans.

"I was thinking grass, not ass, but, hey, if you want to have a pity party on your own, who am I to intrude?" Munson dangled the joint then flipped it in his hands, raised it to his mouth to cup and light.

Billy hesitated then figured fuck it. He'd smoked before, it usually chilled him out in a way he didn't want to be chilled. But Billy didn't have anyone left to stay vigilant against, just himself.

"Hop in," Billy offered, "to smoke."

Even if Billy ever got a fucking lobotomy and started thinking about taking dick, Munson wouldn't be his type. Munson didn't need telling twice though, he bounced around the front of the car and slid in the passenger seat so they could trade the bottle for the joint.

They smoked in silence for a while, passing it back and forth. The anger sizzling Billy from the inside finally fizzled, receded back to the pilot light setting it always stayed at, as the world became fuzzier, easier to understand.

Billy was pissed, pissed that Steve could have everything anyone could ever want and was pissing it away by being a coward, and Billy was fucking terrified. It was the same shivering and sniveling fear that pooled in his stomach when he had to wait for Neil in his room, when he knew that he was going to be walking into his home and finding a fight waiting.

Beneath the fear was guilt - guilt that Billy was turning out to be just like Neil and everyone would see him as a monster soon enough.

It was worse than the anger and that was why Billy shouldn't have taken a single hit of the joint.

"You seem… tense," Munson commented, watching Billy from the corner of his eye. "Trouble in paradise?"

Paradise? Billy snorted. Maybe before Steve fucked everything up that day, maybe before Billy fucked it up for good.

"Something like that," Billy said. He waved away the joint when Eddie offered him the final hit, he'd had enough. Billy was boneless, relaxed, nothing but skin when he fumbled with getting himself a cigarette. It took a few flicks with his lighter, Billy's fingers felt like separate entities, before he got the job done.

"It's Steve," Billy said, figuring Munson was probably as imaginary as Steve's parents weren't. "Fuckin - he let me move in, right? All peachy keen and gung-ho, gotta feel bad for the - the fuckin guy with the bootprint."

"Bootprint?"

"Shut up," Billy said. God, he hated to be interrupted. That made him laugh because who else hated to be interrupted? Good old Neil.

"Today he talks to his parents, gets all gay and panicked, and - and did he mention one time if I still had a place to live? Nope." Billy made an annoying noise, the one that Max made when she was being her brattiest. It was like - like a pop.

Billy put his finger in his cheek, popped it. Yeah, like that.

"What's Steve do? Talks about bringing a chick home in front of Harry. What's Steve do? Found a fuckin carpet muncher to pretend to be his girlfriend. And you know what?" Billy slapped his hand on the steering wheel, didn't feel it. "I was going to make that mother fucker steak!" he said, more pissed by that than anything.

They had plans. Billy was making plans.

Why couldn't Steve get over how it sucked to be queer - Billy laughed and it sounded like a giggle but nobody was there to call him on it so it didn't sound like a giggle, it sounded masculine - and see how damn good he had it?

"Are you jealous or something?" Munson's eyes were deep, real deep. Maybe Munson was some secret fucking well of wisdom, like he learned something new with every drug he dealt.

"No." Billy wasn't jealous. "It's bullshit that he has parents who give a damn at least twice a year and I don't."

That wasn't jealousy, it was bullshit.

Billy's heart pounded once, hard. Because - because why wouldn't Steve's parents be around him more than twice a year? What kind of crap was that anyway? They made a kid, decided they'd rather work, and left Steve to fend for himself?

The kid couldn't even win a fucking fight when it was fair and he was getting his ass jumped all the time since someone outed him at school.

Had that been Billy? That didn't sound right. It was Harry, Harry and the way Steve stared at him. Anyone with two eyes could see that Steve was all mushy for baby bird, even Steve's eyes got all soft and dewy - like a baby deer.

Baby Bird and Bambi.

Billy laughed again, it was funny, that's why. It was funny that Steve was a baby deer and it was bullshit that if his parents found out he was queer that they might not bother with even their twice a year visits. Steve would hate it, he'd hate thinking about how much happier his parents were without him, how easy it was for them to go about their lives without wondering what happened to the son they made.

If Steve had asked, Billy could have told him exactly what it was like to have two parents living and breathing and leading entire lives without him involved in it.

But Steve didn't ask and Billy wished he had.

"But not jealousy," Munson mumbled. When Billy hummed, he couldn't hear him at all, Munson cleared his throat. "So maybe talk to Steve about it so you don't end up homeless," he said.

Munson was a wise well, the wise well in the passenger seat of Billy's car. Billy's car was a wise well, wise enough to turn right over when Billy twisted the key and well enough to rip out of the parking lot in a squeal of burning rubber.

"Fuck! Where are you going?" Munson squealed, grabbing the oh-shit-handle like a chicken shit.

"You said talk to Steve," Billy said, "that's where we're going."

He literally just said it. How fucking high was he?

"I didn't mean show up when you're blazed!" Eddie hissed. Billy hissed back. Hiiiissss.

Billy laughed with the rush of the wind and let his cigarette fall between his fingers so he could surf his hand on invisible waves. The wind was easy to surf, easier to talk to.

"Stevie Wonder didn't even want his parents there," Billy informed the wind. "They treat him like shit, you know? Neil's a bastard, but he was there. He used to even come to my games and shit."

"Yeah, yeah, because that's important, showing up to games."

Billy looked out his window, raised an eyebrow. Was the wind speaking back to him? Billy looked for a cloud that curved the way Sirianna smiled…

"I love you," he tested. The wind didn't say it back, it yelped even Billy swerved and took out a mailbox.

Like the mail was fucking important or something.

Billy parked in Steve's driveway and rolled his eyes at the slick black BMW in his usual spot. Aside from gas mileage and less transmission errors, why the fuck would anyone want a car like that over a Camaro?

"Oh, good." Munson was there and Billy had sort of forgotten about him. Munson was cool, he knew the right hair to have and had a badass rocker vibe. He was rocking then, back and forth, while he seemed ready to hurl. "Just this morning I thought to myself, I really want to meet someone's parents. Yeah, it was my top quest of the day."

"Yeah? Perfect." Billy slapped his shoulder with a cheery smile. "Cause Steve's are inside."

And, God willingly, there would be food too.

Billy was starving.

The house smelled like food when Billy let himself inside - the door wasn't locked and Billy had a key anyway. It was kind of his house too, or it used to be. Billy liked the house, it was like a mansion.

"Honey, I'm home," Billy sang, laughing like an idiot at that. One day he'd have a home of his own, one with Sirianna. They'd live on the ocean, Billy would have a key, he couldn't be kicked out. Then Billy could unload his emergency stash of supplies from the Camaro; the blanket and clean clothes, the liquor and the cigarettes.

Not yet, but one day.

"You think Sirianna will kick me out of our place when we get one?" Billy asked Eddie curiously. Sirianna was too good to do that, probably.

"I think it's even odds."

Billy spun around when he heard his favorite person snapping at him all pissy. His girl was there! The house smelled like food and Billy was helping Eddie complete a quest!

"Babe!" Billy's face hurt, that was how hard he was smiling. Sirianna wasn't smiling because she wasn't a fucking idiot line Billy, but the hard edges of her glare softened for him.

Just for him.

"You're drunk and a dick," Sirianna sniffed when Billy finally kicked his boots off and went for a hug.

"Yeah, I'm super high too," Billy confided in her. God, she was pretty, prettier when she was pissed. That was when her eyes glowed and there was some color on her cheeks.

"Fuck." Billy didn't think about it, but he bet she couldn't tan for shit. "Do you get sunburned easily?" he asked, looking down at her skin that was as soft and light as a doll.

"What?" Sirianna didn't seem to understand that they couldn't live on the ocean and spend every day at the beach if the sun was going to cause her pain. Billy could not fight the sun…

… maybe he could. For her, he would try.

"It's fine," Billy decided, no need to bother her with something that Billy wouldn't let happen. Fuck, he was hungry. "Is there food?" he asked her hopefully.

"I - yes." Sirianna was a fucking angel. "If you come in to eat you need to keep your mouth shut," she said. Billy nodded and Sirianna reached up to grab his jaw tightly. "Billy, I mean it, you have to keep your mouth shut, do you understand me?"

"I can't eat with my mouth shut," Billy tried to say. She was holding him tight, a feisty angel.

"This'll be fun." Sirianna sighed and let go of Billy's jaw. He worked it side to side, sad to feel the pressure gone, and she waved for Munson to follow them. "You too, Eddie. One stupid word out of either of your mouths and I will make you miserable."

"She's sort of terrifying," Munson whispered to Billy when they followed Sirianna for food.

"I know." Billy glanced down at Sirianna's ass, couldn't stop the dopey grin that spread out on his face. "Fucking amazing, isn't she?"

"Shut uuuuup."

Billy stuffed his hands in his pockets and talked only to himself so that nobody kicked him out too early. Munson needed to meet Steve's parents for his quest, Billy needed to tell Steve what it was like to have parents who didn't know him and didn't care about him.

And someone should tell Steve that it was okay if he was queer, it wasn't like the guy chose to like dick. The dick lickin life wasn't a volunteer placement.

Fuck. Why did he think that? Suddenly Billy was starving and wanted a blow job.

Okay, okay, maybe if Billy kept his mouth shut like Sirianna told him that he could boss her around later. Yeah, yeah, that sounded like a good plan.

Eat. Tell Steve his parents were trash and Billy knew a shit ton of gay dudes who didn't have to act crazy. Get his shit packed up in the Camaro. Then see if Sirianna wanted to fuck around.

Aside from being homeless, it could be a good night.

The dining room was being used, which Billy should have expected. The dining room was fancy, uncomfortable, Billy avoided it at all costs. When it was Billy and Steve, they ate in the living room or in the pool house or once in Steve's room when Billy's TV shit out on them.

There were too many people too, two too many people. Actually, three. Because Steve's parents were there and Billy only recognized the woman with the fluffy chestnut hair and the man with the sharp brown eyes from photos he'd seen in the house. Then there was also Robin Buckley… in a dress… with her hand on Steve's.

"Billy?" Steve looked confused, confused and bruised. Man, Billy really shouldn't have hit him. Steve embarrassed himself enough on a normal basis, Billy didn't need to bruise his jaw and make it worse.

"And Eddie," Robin tilted her head to see around Billy from where she sat and Billy was really glad baby bird wasn't there to see his - his… his whatever Steve was… holding hands with a card carrying lesbian. "Hi," she said.

"Great." Steve's mom looked Billy and Munson over didn't seem real impressed with what she saw, which was bullshit because moms loved Billy. Billy could see food, could smell it, he wasn't going to let some prissy bitch be anything less than fully charmed by him.

"You must be Mrs Harrington." Billy offered Steve's mom his hand, a lazy smile that worked for him. "I didn't know Steve was adopted, but you're definitely too young to be his mom."

"He wasn't." Steve's mom seemed mollified, his dad didn't look thrilled. Billy didn't give a fuck, he was waved toward the table and decided to sit right by Steve.

"What are you doing here?" Steve whispered, his head ducked so only Billy could hear him.

"Hey, I shouldn't have hit you," Billy said quickly, as quietly as he could. If Sirianna heard him, he was fucking cooked.

"Your parents suck, man, alright? They suck and it sucks that they don't give a damn, but who the fuck cares? You've got a place to live, friends, a really fucking ugly car. You'd have someone you actually want to be with if you got your head out of your ass, who cares if it's a dude? He's a fucking wizard too and nobody who matters will care, man."

Steve stared at Billy, slack-jawed and stupid, for a long moment. Billy stared back, kind of wiggled his head to see if Steve's eyes were following him. When Steve finally eased back in a small grin, Billy cheered when his plate was pushed over in front of Billy.

"Thanks, man," Steve said. He said something else, Billy didn't care, because food. Billy looked across the table and saw that Munson had food too because Sirianna was a wicked witch and an angel.

A wicked angel? An angelic witch?

Fuck, she was pretty.

Billy looked down the table at Sirianna and he waved, showing her how quiet he was being. Sirianna rolled her eyes, but Billy saw her smile too. She liked him… crazy.

A crazy angel-witch.

Steve's mom started talking, Billy ignored her. She didn't make the food, Steve probably did - or Sirianna. Steve gave Billy food and Billy was going to focus on that.

Fuck, it was good.

Everyone's conversation faded around Billy while he cut off pieces of steak, chewed, swallowed. The marinade was good, Billy was a fucking genius really. Every bite was its own mini-orgasm.

"Mom, Dad." Steve stood up and Billy looked up at him with his cheeks puffing out and shot a thumbs up. He didn't know what Steve was doing, but good for him.

Or not, whatever.

Food.

Billy was cutting and chewing at the same time, trying to make sure he had his next bite ready.

"I'm not dating Robin," Steve said. Good for him! Robin was gay anyway, Billy was sure of it. Steve should be dating Harry, that would make him happy. He didn't need shitty parents if he had a Potter.

Not Sirianna though, she was Billy's. Billy gave Sirianna another soppy ass grin, he loved her, man. Sirianna met his eyes and she was so fucking pretty, beautiful, gorgeous. Billy really hoped that she wasn't going to dump him on his ass when he smelled like BO after a few days in the Camaro.

"I'm dating Billy."

That - what?

Billy blinked, tore his eyes from Sirianna to look up at Steve. They were not fucking dating… right? Right. When Billy looked up at Steve, Steve looked down at him, and the knife in Billy's hand slipped. The knife slipped hard and through the peaceful bliss buzzing through Billy's body came a white hot pain in his left hand.

"Oh, fuck!" Steve's eyes, already panicky like a trapped animal, went white and the blood drained from his face when he and Billy looked down at Billy's plate.

In a very calm, very detached, manner, Billy saw his right hand clenching a knife. Billy saw his plate of food and the red blood spurting all over it, probably ruining it.

And Billy saw the tip of his own finger sitting on top of the steak like the worst topping ever.

That… that was his finger. In two pieces. Fingers should not be severed at the end.

Billy tried to swallow, he tried to fucking breathe, but that was his fucking finger severed and he was not dating Steve.

"Siri…" Billy's head was spinning and there was so much blood, so much fucking blood and people were screaming and someone was trying to grab his hand and that was when the spike of pain burned hottest and Billy knew exactly what was coming.

Billy's eyes rolled back and just before his head hit the table, Sirianna was there to catch him.

"You idiot," she breathed.

Yeah, yeah, Billy was an idiot. He kind of hoped she loved him anyway.

*****

"Billy… baby… time to wake up…"

"Seriously, if he ever calls me dramatic again I'm going to remind him of this."

"If you ever call him your boyfriend again I'm going to remind you of what magic can do."

"Yes, ma'am."

Billy groaned and tried to roll away from the voices, away from the annoyances. Fuck, his head ached.

And… it shouldn't… right? Billy had to try and sift through his own foggy memories, tried to remember why he thought it should be his hand that ached.

"Baby, time to wake up." There was a soft hand on Billy's cheek, he turned into it, lifted his head to keep it there. "You're all healed up, no need to faint again."

Healed up? Billy slowly flexed his hands and there wasn't any pain, none. Billy opened his eyes just as slow and the first thing he saw was his girl right in front of him.

"Hey, kitten." Billy tried to smile, winced when there was a pounding in his head that twisted his face into a grimace. "Fuck, what happened?"

Billy remembered… blood? Or steak? Maybe rare steak? Billy also remembered something about angels with green eyes and that made him doubt his own memories.

Did Steve call him his fucking boyfriend?

"You were a giant arse, then a sweetheart, then an idiot, and you got hurt." Sirianna smiled and her eyes glittered playfully. "Rather normal day, love. I'll let Steve fill you in, I'm going to go let Harry know that he's saved your life again."

Billy didn't have any idea what Sirianna was going on about, but he still accepted the quick kiss she gave him. When she bounced away from him, Billy saw that he was in the pool house. That sucked though because Billy wasn't trusting his own fuzzy memories, but even the clear ones told him that it wasn't his place anymore.

Steve was there, grinning, and he sat on the edge of the bed that Billy was laying across.

"You know what every guy needs? A friend to heroically cut off their finger to take the sting off of coming out," Steve said brightly.

Billy lifted his hands, squinted at them. There were plenty of scars covering them, but the thick white one around the ring finger on his left hand was new. It was sick, Billy kind of dug it.

"I'm not your fucking friend," Billy said gruffly. He was starting to remember getting stoned with Munson, mixing some good grass with expensive whiskey. There was no telling what kind of shit Billy did, he didn't smoke often and he never mixed it with booze before.

"Nuh uh. We're like best friends," Steve mocked him. "And all a fella really needs is friends, right?"

God. Billy really hoped he didn't say that.

"Fuck off." Billy shoved at Steve and ground his teeth when all he got was a laugh from him. "What happened? With your parents?"

The laughter falling from Steve's mouth died and he got nervous and twitchy, he started twisting his fingers together again. Damned anxious idiot.

"I - uh… I did tell them that, uh… you know. Then you cut off your finger and Sirianna said we needed Harry so we piled in your car—"

Great. Someone drove Billy's car.

"— and they were gone when we got back from pretending to take you to the hospital."

"Your parents fucking left?!" Fuck, that was such garbage. It wasn't like Billy expected anything better from the douches that only stopped by their mansion a couple of times a year, but it didn't feel awesome to be abandoned either.

"Yeah." Steve exhaled shakily and Billy could see him working to try and smile again, act like it was no big deal when Billy knew it sucked. "Whatever. It's - it's better when it's just us anyway, right?"

Billy wanted to shoot some shit off, push away Steve and the pathetically hopeful look in his red-rimmed eyes. Billy wasn't Steve's emotional support friend, except Billy knew how shitty it was to be the kid left behind by a parent.

"Yeah, man." Billy relaxed back against the pillows on the bed it didn't seem like he was being evicted from. "It's better when it's us. And," because Billy wasn't going to say some gay shit and leave it at that, "when there's food."

Steve bounced up with a promise to bring back leftovers and Billy scrubbed his face with his hands, scrubbing some sense into himself.

Pros, Billy had ten fingers and a place to stay.

Cons, Steve's parents were jackasses and Billy probably said a bunch of dumb shit when he was baked.

A bed and shower were still good, Billy wouldn't have wanted them at the expense of Steve finding out what it was like to be an orphan with living parents.

Good on him for claiming himself in front of them though, that took balls. Billy wished he could remember it - maybe it would come back to him later.

Sirianna returned before Steve did and Billy wasn't complaining at all when she climbed up in his bed and got comfortable in his arms. Billy bent his head down, kissed her head, and closed his eyes in momentary contentment.

Billy had ten fingers, a place to call his own, and his girl. Steve would get past the sting of being left behind by his parents eventually, Billy knew it.

"Billy?"

"Hmm?"

"If you ever yell at my brother again, I'm going to personally cut off all ten of your fingers."

Billy smiled to himself, more relaxed than any weed could have brought him.

"I love you." Billy said, soft and completely on accident. Billy did love her, Billy loved her more than he had ever loved anyone. Sirianna was the one good constant thing in his life, the one thing he wouldn't survive losing.

His parents? Fuck ‘em.

Ten fingers? Whatever.

Billy would live in his car for the rest of his life before he would lose his girl. So, yeah, Billy didn't mean to say it, but he wasn't lying either. It felt good to admit it, to say to Sirianna the words he had been thinking over for months.

It felt good to have someone he loved, to have someone he could say it to, until Sirianna tensed up all at once and Billy realized that somehow he had fucked up.