Chapter 17
James wiped his sweaty palm on the soft black material of his trousers. Then he switched the flowers from his right to his left hand and finally rang the doorbell.
For a minute nothing happened. Maybe he wasn't even home? Then a bit of movement on the door caught James's eye. Just below the height of his sternum a small flickering had appeared and James took a step back and bent his head.
He looked at the small circle shape in the wooded door. Its surface flickered and blinked like sunlight dancing over water. It looked almost like ... a peekhole.
"Regulus?"
When still nothing happened James took another step back. He should be fully visible by now, he thought and kempt his hands through the mess on his head.
The door opened, just the tiniest sliver of a bit. "James?" A whispered voice asked.
"Yeah. It's me."
Again he was met with silence. Then; "what was the thing you brought me when I felt sick and I ate it until I was nauseous?"
James smiled at the memory. "Chocolate covered strawberries."
The door swung completely open, revealing a disheveled looking Regulus who definitely hadn't been expecting company. He was wearing low hanging sweatpants, a large but short black T and a weary expression.
"Hi?"
"Uh hi." James said.
When he didn't continue Regulus stepped a little further out, his eyes taking in the dress pants. "What's with the flowers?"
Right. The flowers. "They're for you." Regulus's eyebrow quirked up and James thrust them at him. "Go out with me Reg. Really go out with me. On a date. A real one. One that Sirius knows about and we can do whatever we want to do."
Regulus was staring at him as if he'd just proposed. Then he reached out and a bit of hope kindled in James's chest when he gingerly took the flowers. "I don't think it's a good idea Jamie," he said softly.
"Do it anyway," James said and he tried to put all his convictions all his resolution and his struggle into the words. Regulus worried his bottom lip, staring right past James's shoulder, somewhere into the staircase of the shabby apartment building. "Please Reg I- I need to know if we could be real. If the happiness I remember was just the hormones of being a teenager, or the memories got distorted by a hex to the head. Just, please. One date. That's all I ask."
Regulus cast his eyes down, began plucking at the leaves of the bouquet. "But then what? I might owe it to you to go out once. But what comes after?"
"You don't owe me anything. You don't owe anyone anything. If you don't want this I'll leave, but ... if you do ... we'll work it out. After. Okay? For now, let's just focus on what we have."
"And what's that?"
James smiled sheepishly. "A dinner reservation at the Lacuras?"
"The one Siri picked up food from a few days ago? The one I liked?"
"The very one." He'd paid a lot of attention to the reservation. A nice place but not to fancy. Food Regulus liked but not so special they served it in bites. They were there to eat.
Regulus took a deep breath. "Alright."
"Alright?" James felt a smile splitting his face and it took some considerable strength not to whoop.
"Alright."
~~~
Regulus stepped out of his apartment half an hour later in something like a suit. His pants were better tailored than James's and the material seemed soft and stretchy. Regulus had also skipped the blazer and wore a darkest of blue polo shirt, the silky material shimmering in the light.
James didn't want to stare. But it was a close call. The shirt almost seemed see-through sometimes, letting Regulus's milky skin shine through. When they arrived at the restaurant Regulus cuffed his sleeves, which did not make things easier for James.
They chatted during the appetisers but focused on the food once it came. It was good. Everything was good. Regulus was flippant and funny, kind of mean and sweet without meaning to be.
And yet. Something still felt off. Regulus seemed distant ... Withdrawn somehow. On the other hand, what did he expect? Immediate reconciliation and them riding off into the sunset together? Well kind of.
Once he was done Regulus set down his cutlery with determination. "So, are you seeing anyone?"
James choked on his last piece of bread. "What .. uh no. I- I'm here with you aren't I?"
Regulus crossed his legs, looked out the window, "well. I just wanted to make sure."
James hummed. He could ask about Regulus's dating life but he knew from a very overprotective Sirius that there was none.
Regulus cleared his throat. "Just so you know, I, well, I don't have much experience. Not in .. dating or, well, anything."
James nodded. He'd figured as much. And then, because he knew Regulus, he asked, "do you want to know about my dating experience?"
"Sure. If you want to brag about it so badly." That was Regulus for: I'm dying to know.
James laughed. "Going for nonchalance, are we?"
"Shut up Potter."
James couldn't really stop the flush of his cheeks, because that, that was Regulus's version of flirting. He reigned in the dopey grin and cleared his throat.
"I've dated people. Many people actually."
"Way to prove me wrong and keep it humble," Regulus said dryly.
"They didn't really matter."
"How so?"
James leant back in his chair. If only he knew. "I'm not actually sure. It was just," he made a throwaway hand gesture, "not completely real. Like I kept waiting for, I don't even know, things to feel right? And they never did? Could have been the war, I don't know." Could've been longing for you, he thought but didn't say.
Regulus looked away, took a big drink of his wine. They sat in silence for a while, not completely uncomfortable, but ... strained. Charged like wire.
"I told Sirius." Regulus suddenly said and the words shot down James's spine like lightning.
"You did?"
"Yes."
"He knows?"
Regulus nodded. Now it was James's turn to empty his wineglass. He stared out the window, signaled the waiter for more wine, then abruptly changed his mind, "should I go and talk to him?"
"To Sirius?"
"Yeah! I mean he's probably furious. Or at least ... confused, I should-"
"He's fine James. He's know for months." James mouth fell open and he saw Regulus's mouth twitching. "Don't get me wrong, I'm all for you two having a little heart to heart about this, maybe Sirius will finally stop moping about it and you two can go back to braiding each others hair."
James sank back in his chair. "My hair isn't long enough to braid," he murmured