Abilited

Before we start this mind baffling story keep in mind I made these characters with middle school humor (my bad guys) I'm trying to improve writing and would like kind criticism on how I write. There's swearing and I'm not including Mori going to the school but I will make fun of him bc I don't like pedos. I despise writing the hunting dogs (most of em) so uh don't expect Fukuchi(?) or Teruko. Most of these are based of head canon but I try to stay as realistic as possible only ships mentioned is Tanizakis love for Naomi and dazais love for women. And for the age gap between hogwarts students and Bsd characters um ignore that.
Were also assuming all bad characters know Japanese and Fyodor and Nikolai know Russian
Basically crack heads at Hogwarts

Thanks for reading my long rambling and sorry for bad writing and character misspelling

CHAPTER 1

What the hell happened He slowly blinked open his eyes but immediately shut them upon noticing unknown surroundings.
"So these are the Yokohama ability users" A displeased sounding voice hissed. They're speaking English! He strained his ears to make out more of their conversation.

"They may look unruly, but I assure you they will be great students" A more calm voice said.

"I doubt they can even use magic!" Magic what is this a fairy tale... a story made by Poe, no it can't be. "Even if they can't use magic their abilities will sure be interesting" Wait did he say students.

His head whirred with information, so magic, students and did they kidnapped multiple of us because there's 100% someone laying on top of me. He waited till the door open and they both exited before throwing the person on top of him off.

"Hey what the fuck man" A tallish guy with a terrible bowl cut yelped. Isn't he from the mafia.

(MY WRITING SUCKS)

Upon everyone waking up some confused some angry but most nervous upon what Kunikida told them.

"How can we be students for magic!?"

"MAGIC ISNT REAL NO WAY"

"The fuck I just wanna sleep for all eternity"

"Magic? Are these people crazy"

It was honestly too loud in the room they were currently in everyone talked at once some even tried to pick fights. "Everyone calm down"
A commanding shout from the one and only Fukuzawa.

The room when silent all eyes turned to the cross white haired man. "I know this situation isn't good... we've been kidnapped taken from our homes and are going to be turned into Students for these magic users but Ranpo has told me that no harm will come to us." his voice commanded respect and obviously people believed what he said about not being harmed.

"So called magic users" Someone called out angrily.

Just as Fukuzawa was about to open his mouth two people came in, a man with a  gray beard and hair in robes and an old woman wearing a tall pointy hat. Everyone stared them down as they strolled in like they were in no danger.

A few activated their abilities, readied weapons or just glares menacingly.
"Please calm down we will explain this in all due time" the old lady spoke before getting interrupted.

"I don't give a shit about what you have to say old hag why did you kidnap us" a ginger male retorted. "As I was saying-" but she wasn't able to finish as a knife came flying towards her from the ceiling.

"Petrificus Totalus"(googled this)
She yelled, everyone and everything went still "this is a simple paralyzing spell, and as I was saying you will be students at our school of witchcraft and wizardry."
After finishing her grand speech she undid the spell.

"Do we get a say in this" a dual hair colored boy said raising his hand. The glare she sent to him said all he needed to know.

"I'm Dumbledore the head of the school I welcome you to Hogwarts. I will say we had to create a new house for this! Students here are decided into four houses Gryffindor, HufflePuff, Slytherin and Ravenclaw but as of today you will be part of our new house called Abilited!" His words causing dropped jaws, some excitement and some very angry guys about to beat him up.

"In your time here you will learn Magic, How to make potions and so much more! One thing" he waves his wand aand multiple what looked to be school uniforms appeared on a table. "These are your school uniforms".

(Just imagine the uniforms from the movie  but the capes are black and the tie colors are black and white btw this is where the crack starts kicking in)

"How about we go around say our names and what your looking forward too, I am Professor McGonagal, now please you go" she gestured towards Atsushi.

"I'm Atsushi Nakajima... uh I don't know what I'm excited for" He said very pathetically.

"Kenji Miyazawa and I'm excited for everything!" It was noted he was very enthusiastic.

"Fukuzawa Yukichi"

"Doppo Kunikida I still do not appreciate being taken here against my will" he said pushing his glasses further on his face.

"Junichiro Tanizaki" he offered awkwardly putting a hand on his head.

"Akiko Yosano and this is Kyoka Izūmi and we're excited to leave this place" Kyoka blushed and tried to rebut the leaving claims.

"Ranpo Edogawa and I'm smarter than all of you!" The professors already thought he was a handful, but multiple others clapped and said things like.
"Beautifully said" and "Isn't he so cool"
Just to piss them off.

"I'm Osamu Dazai and I can't wait to die with a beautiful woman" Dazai said cheerfully.

"Chuuya Nakahara and I'm excited to kill your ass" he said pointing at McGonagall. He looked very hot and se-.

"Kouyou" she said very gracefully.

"Motojirou Kaiji I'm excited to explode this building" the professors thought his name sounded like a spell.

"T-Tachihara" he was only nervous cause he didn't know if he should be loyal to the mafia or the huntings dogs.

"Akutagawa Ryunosuke" he growled his hands shoved in his pockets and his glare so sharp he could cut gojo in ha-. (Ok I'll stop)

"Hirotsu I'm excited to leave same as Yosano" he looked old very old he looked like he could be a teacher himself.

"Mushitaro Oguri" he 100% was sparkling and boosting and it hasn't even been 10 minutes.

"Bram Stoker" a very vampireish vampire said very unenthusiastically.

"I am Fyodor Dostoevsky feel free to just call me Fyodor" He stared at the teachers with that cold and calculating glare. Definitely scary

"Nikolai Gogol!" Nikolai said doing his little spin and bowing but his eyes just showed mockery.

"Sigma... can I leave now" sigma sighed he looked done with this.

"Tecchou" Said a Ranpo look alike.

"Ango Sakuguchi" he said with such malice everyone was shaking. (Jkjk)

"And I'm Poe" said the guy with a raccon on his shoulder and very necessary pet indeed.

(After getting changed and the old people explain rules I'm getting zilly again)

They were lead down moving, twisting halls that seemed to have a mind of their own constantly switching where they went. "You will one day learn to use these stairs to your advantage". Dazai and Kenji looked at the bottom one excited at the flying stairs one wanting to see if the jump would kill him. Sigma clung helplessly to the railing not wanting to fall.

They arrived in front of a picture and guess what the pictures moved multiple people *cough cough sigma freaked out about that.
"To enter your rooms you must say a passcode they change every three days so check the board in the common area for the changing code".

"That's actually kinda smart we should let Ranpo guess the code" Dazai said smiling. They all moved out of the way for Ranpo who took out a pair of glasses "ULTRA DEDUCTION". His green eyes opened and his pointed at the door. "According to my calculations the passwords are made by the picture itself.
This particular picture is of ability user Natsume so I assume it's Rashomon".
Akutagawa looked quite surprised "but that's my ability not his..".
"Just a guess" Ranpo put his glasses away and walked into the now open door.

There was a beautiful room when they walked in a fire was lit big windows lined the walls, massive couch's and a few tables as well. Two large stairways on either side led to two other levels the entrances still seen from the main floor room.

"Girls will stay on top and boys on the bottom" Dumbledore explained.

"IM NOT SHARING A ROOM WITH THAT SHITTY MAKERAL"

"Ain't no way girly pop"

"I'm not getting touched tonight"

"I shall take my leave now please don't go roaming around school grounds yet students have not yet arrived" and with that poof he was gone.

This is where the crack really starts.

Within two hours the room was ruined and everything was in disarray thanks to the chaos, fighting and Nikolai's ability. Atsushi, Tetchou, Tanizaki and Kenji were playing monopoly.

Dazai was playing can I survive falling from the third floor and Motojirou was trying to blow up the bedrooms.

Nikolai had teleported many things in there supposed dorm rooms, most of these items highly illegal or dangerous.

By the time night rolled around half of them were drunk asleep or just roasting each other... on that note let's go to Dazai and Nikolai's terrible roast battle.

"You look like a cracked out mouse" Nikolai pretended to be offended by that.

"You look like a meth addict suicidal" Nikolai shot back all he got in response was "you're not wrong!"

"That's fucking sad" Mushitaro drunkenly slurred collapsing to the floor.

"Ew emo fag" Ranpo shouted in surprise when some black haired Fyodor looking mf entered the room.

His eyes widened at the destruction. "Tomorrow you will attend the sorting ceremony of other students per Dumbledores request I hope you mud bloods know how to behave then, besides you better get into your uniforms" he hissed.

"It's giving gay-" instantly a figure called Kunikida went and slapped Dazai into unconscious.

THE FUCKING END
Hope you liked it plz give feed back I promise I'll be serious later on..... mayhaps

But um this was kinda fun to write idk how fun to read