Harry Potter and the absolute Fuckery of life

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/F
F/M
M/M
G
Harry Potter and the absolute Fuckery of life
Summary
First Year: Philosophers stone, only difference is he kept it and let them think It was destroyed by something else. After all he still wanted to like potions.Second year: Beginning after the fallout of the duelling club, when it was revealed he was a parselmouth, except Ron and hermione don't believe its not him at first. And so with everyone leaving him alone you'll see what happens.
Note
He was on a like three week binge of books and being alone so it's the 4th of January in both chapters one and two.
All Chapters Forward

her skeleton will lie in the chamber forever

June 14th, 2013

 

As Hades walked hand in hand with Theo down the dimly lit hall, the atmosphere felt thick with tension. His eyes caught a chilling message scrawled in blood: “Her skeleton will lie in the chamber forever.” A shiver ran down his spine. “Huh. I wonder who got put in the chamber,” he mused aloud, his curiosity piqued.

Theo glanced over, his expression shifting from intrigue to exasperation. “You want to go check, don’t you?” he asked, a resigned sigh escaping him. “Alright, let’s go. You’ve been wanting to test that spell anyway.”

“YAS!” Hades exclaimed, his excitement bubbling over. He tightened his grip on Theo’s hand, the thrill of adventure coursing through him. With a swift movement, he approached the hidden entrance to the Chamber of Secrets and hissed the incantation that would unlock it.

In one fluid motion, he picked Theo up, cradling him against his side as he leaped forward. “ Ferio Levitatum! ” he called out, and they began to float gently downwards, suspended in the air. Hades concentrated on maintaining their descent, feeling the warmth of Theo’s body against him as they floated slowly and safely to the ground.

Once they landed softly on the chamber floor, Hades set Theo down, grinning widely. “Open up, girliepop,” he said, his voice laced with excitement as he approached the stone entrance that led deeper into the chamber.

Theo shook his head, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You’re ridiculous, you know that? But I guess if anyone’s going to get us into trouble, it might as well be you.” He glanced around the eerie chamber, his nerves tingling in anticipation. “Just… be careful, okay? We don’t know what’s down here.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Hades teased, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. He pushed open the entrance, revealing the shadowy depths beyond, his heart racing with both fear and exhilaration. Together, they stepped forward, the thrill of discovery urging them on into the unknown.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be as careful as I can be.” Hades turned to the darkened entrance, lifting his hand. “ Open. Doxio Thundaris.

A crackling ball of lightning formed in his palm, casting an eerie, shifting glow around them. Shadows danced against the chamber walls as Hades stepped forward, Theo close behind, until they reached the heart of the chamber. Standing there, as if waiting, was a young Tom Riddle.

“Oh hey,” Hades remarked, sizing him up with a casual glance. “So, it was Ginny. Guess she’s the poor soul who opened the chamber and let Achlys out, huh?”

Tom turned, his dark gaze landing on Hades. “Hello,” he said coolly, eyes flickering to the crackling lightning. “You must be… Harry Potter.”

Hades chuckled, raising an eyebrow. “Technically, yeah. It’s a popular nickname, though I go by Hades. Let’s just say it’s complicated.”

Tom tilted his head, studying him with a thoughtful expression. “Yes, that makes more sense.” His voice took on a self-assured tone. “As you guessed, I possessed the girl, opened the chamber, and aimed to continue Slytherin’s noble work. But suddenly, Achlys stopped responding to me.” His eyes narrowed, suspicion dawning. “I’m guessing that was your doing?”

Hades shrugged, the ball of lightning in his hand sparking brighter as he turned to glance at the room. “Yeah. Thought it was time she had a change of plans. So, you’re controlling Ginny through… the diary, right?”

Tom’s jaw tensed, but he kept his silence. Hades didn’t wait for confirmation. With a sudden flick of his wrist, he hurled the lightning directly at the diary lying near the base of the chamber statue. The impact sent the diary flying across the room, and Tom’s form flickered, letting out an anguished scream as a dark crack split the diary’s surface.

Recovering slowly, Tom stared at Hades, a mixture of fury and fear twisting his expression. Before he could speak, Hades took a step forward, his gaze steady. “Tell me, Tom—have you ever heard of the unlisted Unforgivable?”

Tom’s expression wavered, confusion giving way to dawning horror. “No…” he whispered, his voice barely audible, though the fear in his eyes betrayed him. “I’ve studied every spell, every hex, every curse Slytherin left behind. There’s nothing—”

“Oh, it’s there,” Hades interrupted, his voice almost conversational. “It was buried deep within Slytherin’s library. It’s a spell that converts someone else’s soul into magic, transferring it to the caster’s core. Instant and painless.” He tilted his head, watching Tom’s face as realization took hold.

Tom looked utterly horrified, as though he’d glimpsed something far darker than he’d ever imagined. He staggered back, knowing he had no other escape. Slowly, he closed his eyes, resignation settling over him.

Hades raised his hand, his voice a whisper but filled with cold authority. “ Animus Reddo Invalesco.

A beam of dark, crackling lightning shot from his hand, arcing directly into the damaged diary. Tom’s form contorted as the piece of his soul unraveled, dissolving into pure energy that surged back into Hades. As the spell ended, Hades felt a new wellspring of power settle within his core, steady and potent.

He took a steadying breath, glancing at Theo, who had watched in stunned silence. Hades allowed himself a small, triumphant smile. “Well,” he said, the echo of magic still lingering in the air, “that should keep the Chamber quiet for a while.”

Hades walked over to where Ginny lay on the cold chamber floor, her face pale and still. He held his wand gently over her, his gaze softening. With a careful tap to her forehead, he murmured, “ Rennervate.

A faint glow passed from his wand, and Ginny’s eyelids began to flutter. She let out a small, confused groan as her eyes opened, squinting up at him.

“Hey,” Hades said with a gentle smile. “You should be awake now, kiddo. You had a bit of an adventure, but it’s over.”

Ginny blinked, dazed, her eyes darting around the chamber as if trying to piece together where she was. “H-Harry?” she stammered, her voice small.

“Sort of,” he replied with a reassuring tone. “It’s complicated, but you’re safe now. Just relax for a bit, alright?”

As the haze in her eyes began to clear, she looked at him with a mix of gratitude and awe, slowly realizing she was free from the nightmare that had bound her to the diary.

“I finished off the diary,” Hades said, glancing at the smoldering remnants. “It should be fully dead in a few seconds.”

Right on cue, the diary burst into flames, curling into ash until nothing remained but a small, dark pile. Hades gave Ginny a small, rueful smile. “Yup. So, here’s a tip for the future: if it doesn’t have a face or a brain, don’t trust some random magical object just because it talks.”

With a flick of his wand, he scooped up a handful of the ashes, concentrating as he transfigured them into a bracelet—simple but solid, with dark interwoven threads holding an onyx charm at its center. He whispered an enchantment over it, binding it to resist compulsions and to bolster mental resilience.

“This,” he said, fastening the bracelet around Ginny’s wrist, “is your reminder. And your safeguard.” He looked at her meaningfully. “Next time, don’t trust Tom Riddle or anything he leaves behind. Keep this on, and it’ll help protect you from similar… situations.”

Ginny stared at the bracelet, wide-eyed, and nodded solemnly. “Thank you… Harry,” she whispered, her hand tightening around the charm.

Hades extended a hand to Ginny, helping her to her feet. She swayed slightly, but he steadied her, then reached out to take Theo’s hand as well.

“Alright,” he said, glancing between them with a slightly mischievous grin. “I’ve been practicing shadow traveling… but I haven’t tried taking others with me yet, so prepare yourselves—it might feel a bit weird.”

He took a deep breath, focusing his energy as he pulled shadows from the corners of the chamber. The darkness thickened, swirling around them like smoke, before rushing forward to envelope them. Ginny gasped as the shadows wrapped tighter, making the room feel as if it was melting away.

In an instant, they reappeared in the bright, sterile light of the hospital wing, the transition jarring after the dim atmosphere of the chamber. Ginny stumbled slightly, looking pale and disoriented, and Theo squeezed her hand to steady her.

Hades gave Madame Pomfrey a brief nod. “Hey, she’s probably suffering from magical core exhaustion. Tom Riddle’s been siphoning her magic for… a while.” He gave Ginny a small, reassuring smile. “But she should be okay now.”

Madame Pomfrey’s expression shifted from surprise to determination as she hurried over. She gently guided Ginny to a nearby bed, her touch brisk but gentle. “You’ve been through quite an ordeal, young lady,” she murmured, checking Ginny’s pulse and looking her over. “And how exactly did you three end up here so suddenly?”

Ginny, still dazed, managed a tired smile as she sank into the bed. “Harry…  he got us here,” she whispered. Her hand drifted to the bracelet on her wrist, her fingers curling around it. “He saved me.”

Hades cleared his throat, a hint of warmth coloring his cheeks as he tried to brush it off. “Just… doing my part,” he said, glancing over at Theo, who gave him an encouraging nod.

Madame Pomfrey raised an eyebrow at the group but chose to focus on Ginny. “You’ll need rest. Magical core exhaustion isn’t something to take lightly.” She placed a gentle hand on Ginny’s shoulder, urging her to lie back.

As Ginny’s eyes began to flutter closed, she looked over at Hades, her voice faint but filled with gratitude. “Thank you, Harry. For… everything.”

He offered her a small smile. “Rest up, kiddo. And remember, don’t trust strange diaries ever again.”

Theo pulled him back slightly, giving him a knowing look. “Well, that was quite the rescue,” he murmured. “I think you’ve officially earned your hero status for the year.”

Hades shrugged, though he couldn’t hide the satisfaction in his eyes. “Couldn’t have done it without you,” he replied quietly. As Madame Pomfrey ushered them out, he threw one last glance over his shoulder at Ginny, feeling a mixture of relief and pride.

 

Hades pulled Theo into a hug, letting the warmth of the embrace settle between them before he focused on shadow traveling. In a swift swirl of darkness, they reappeared in the quiet of the boys' dorm, the familiar surroundings wrapping around them like a second skin. He held onto Theo a moment longer, feeling the reassurance in his steady presence.

Over the past months, they'd come to understand each other in ways few others could. Hades had shared everything about the Dursleys—the cold indifference, the endless hunger for something as simple as a touch that wasn’t meant to hurt. He’d explained why even the smallest act of kindness was sometimes overwhelming for him. And Theo, in his own quiet way, had confided things he'd never told anyone else: about his father, a convicted Death Eater, about his grandfather’s prolonged illness, and the house-elves who had cared for him in a near-constant solitude.

They pulled apart slowly, and Theo gave him a soft, understanding smile. “You know,” Theo murmured, “I don’t think either of us really expected to find… this.”

Hades nodded, his expression light but with a depth that spoke of the weight they both carried. “Guess we’re a good match in a way,” he replied, a hint of a smile breaking through.

Theo’s eyes softened. “More than you know.”

For a moment, they just stood there, the silence between them filled with a quiet understanding. Theo’s lips curved into a smile, and Hades returned it before leaning his head onto Theo’s shoulder, relaxing into the comfort of their closeness.

“School’s ending soon,” Hades murmured, a touch of excitement in his voice. “Do you want to go straight to our apartment, or would you like to visit your grandfather first?”

Theo tilted his head thoughtfully, a warm look in his eyes. “Going to our apartment would be nice,” he replied, his smile widening just slightly. “Maybe you could teach me that spell you used on the soul piece while we’re there.”

Hades chuckled softly, his eyes glinting with a mix of pride and mischief. “Animus Reddo Invalesco?” he said, his tone light but knowing. “I’d be honored. Just don’t go stealing souls left and right.”

Theo gave him a playful nudge. “Only with your permission.”

They shared a quiet laugh, already looking forward to the summer days ahead, knowing that whatever challenges might come, they’d face them together.

Hades smirked, correcting Theo with a touch of pride. “It doesn’t steal the soul; it converts it into magic that then expands your core,” he explained, his eyes gleaming. “I just turned half of a soul into magic, and I got a pretty big boost—especially since it was from a Dark Lord's soul.”

Theo’s eyes widened, impressed. “So… it’s more like alchemy with souls?”

“Pretty much,” Hades replied with a grin. “Not something you want to try on just anyone. But in the right situations, like that diary, it’s… useful.”

Theo gave a small nod, clearly intrigued but thoughtful. “Useful is one way to put it. I’m not exactly complaining if it gives us an edge against threats like that.”

Hades chuckled. “Exactly. And maybe this summer, we’ll dig through some more advanced spells, too. Something tells me we’ll need all the tricks we can get.”

Hades gave Theo a serious look, his tone shifting to one of caution. “Oh, and remember,” he said, lowering his voice. “If you cast that spell on someone who’s still alive, it’s the same as giving them the Dementor’s Kiss. You’d be draining their soul completely, leaving nothing but a shell.”

Theo nodded, absorbing the warning. “Got it,” he replied quietly. “Not exactly a spell you’d want to use lightly.”

“Exactly,” Hades said, the weight of the spell’s consequences clear in his gaze. “It’s powerful, but it’s final. So, only if you’re absolutely sure.”

Theo gave him a small, resolute smile. “Thanks, Hades. For trusting me with this—and for the warning. I’ll remember.”

Hades relaxed, reassured that Theo understood the gravity of the spell. “Good. Then let’s focus on the practice and keep this as a last, last resort.”


June 21st,  2013
Hades shadowed into the gryffindor common room, popping up right behind ron and hermione.“Boo!” Hades exclaimed, a mischievous grin stretching across his face.

Ron jumped, while Hermione let out a surprised squeak, turning to glare at him. “Harry! You can’t just pop up like that!” she scolded, though a smile tugged at her lips.

“Why not? It’s much more fun this way,” he replied with a playful shrug. “Besides, I come bearing news.” He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Theo and I might have found a way to make summer a little more interesting.”

Ron raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. “What do you mean? Is it more spells? Or maybe some sort of adventure?”

“Both, actually,” Hades said, excitement bubbling in his chest. “But first, how’s Ginny doing? I left her in the hospital wing and haven’t gotten the chance to check back in..”

Hermione's expression softened. “She’s recovering, thanks to you. Madame Pomfrey said she’ll be back on her feet soon.”

“Good,” Hades replied, relief washing over him. “I was worried. She went through a lot, and she’s so young.”

Ron nodded. “You did well, mate. You always seem to be in the right place at the right time.”

Hades shrugged, but the compliment warmed him. “Just trying to help out. So, are you two ready for some fun this summer?”

Hermione exchanged a glance with Ron, her curiosity ignited. “What do you have in mind?”

Hades leaned back, a conspiratorial grin spreading across his face. “Well, I’ll be a lot more free this summer, so I’m going to be spending it with Theo. We’ll be practicing magic, so you and Ron can sneak into some place at the Weasley household and practice too.”

Ron raised an eyebrow, a cheeky grin forming. “You think we’ll just sneak around the Burrow? That sounds like a challenge.”

“Exactly,” Hades replied, excitement dancing in his eyes. “I mean, with the chaos of the Weasley family, it shouldn’t be too hard to find a corner where you can practice without getting caught.”

Hermione chimed in, her analytical mind already racing. “We could set up a schedule. We can rotate between practicing spells and keeping an eye out for Mrs. Weasley. I don’t want her finding out we’re up to something she wouldn’t approve of.”

Hades laughed. “That’s the spirit! It’ll be like our own little secret club. Plus, if we run into trouble, we’ll have each other’s backs.”

Ron nodded enthusiastically. “I can’t wait! And think about all the time we’ll have to learn new spells. We’ll be unstoppable by the time school starts again!”

“Just remember to be careful,” Hermione said, a hint of caution in her voice. “We don’t want to draw too much attention to ourselves, especially with everything that happened this year.”

“Trust me, Hermione, we’ll be careful,” Hades assured her, a confident grin on his face. “We’ll make this summer one for the books.”

Ron muttered something about “nerds” at the mention of books, rolling his eyes playfully.

Hades chuckled, not taking the bait. “Well, I guess because we’ll be leaving soon, I should give you guys these.” He pulled out two compact mirrors from his bag, a proud smile on his face.

“I haven’t figured out how to get an actual phone to work yet; I’m still working on it,” he continued, “so I’ve set up a couple of compact mirrors with a dial. There’s a rune to expand and shrink it on the dial. You just switch the dial to the name of the person you want to call, and it’ll connect.”

He handed a compact to both Ron and Hermione, their eyes widening in surprise.

“Seriously? This is brilliant!” Ron exclaimed, examining the mirror. “So, we can talk whenever we want? No owls or anything?”

“Exactly,” Hades replied, excitement bubbling in his voice. “It doesn’t matter with receiving calls—you’ll get them anyway. Just remember, it’s linked to each of us, so don’t be alarmed if you hear my voice suddenly. I’ll probably just be interrupting your day with random questions.”

Hermione took her mirror, her expression a mix of admiration and curiosity. “This is incredibly innovative, Hades. I can’t believe you figured this out!”

“Just a little bit of tinkering,” he said with a modest shrug. “I thought it would be a fun way to stay connected over the summer, especially since we’ll be practicing our magic.”

Ron grinned, giving Hades a playful punch on the shoulder. “You’re the best, mate. Now we can really plot our summer adventures without worrying about anyone eavesdropping.”

“Exactly,” Hades said, feeling a swell of camaraderie. “Just make sure to keep an eye on those mirrors. I want to hear all about your sneaky practice sessions!”

 

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