Chapter 3
How ingenious!
Tom stares fascinated at the swamp that was formerly a fifth-floor corridor. He tries to find the bottom with a conjured pole, but it is deep. When he lets it go, it only sinks about two-thirds in—obviously a failsafe to keep people from drowning. Or losing their stuff. Clearly, the Weasley twins are nowhere near as thoughtlessly cruel as their mother likes to call them.
And what a highly advanced bit of magic! There are actual toads and bugs in there—and the stench is atrocious. Tom can’t even begin to guess which charms they used, and that is saying something. One can only wonder what else these two terrors have thought up. With their boundless creativity, Tom wouldn’t put it past them to have invented entirely new spells and potions already—or new uses for the existing ones. These are the kinds of people that further the bounds of magic, not those rule-obsessed, book-smart sheep. Like Miss Granger. Yes, the girl is very smart. She clearly has some sort of eidetic memory, and certainly a knack for mastering a charm within the first few tries. She also has managed to actually learn something from Cuthbert Binns, so she has an extra edge in Tom’s class. All of that doesn’t change the fact that she is dreadfully narrow-minded. If it’s not written down it’s not real. At least she has the sense to apply logic to the things she reads and cross-reference different sources. Tom thinks he wouldn’t be able to stand the girl otherwise.
For the most part, the rest of the staff agree with Tom about the sheer genius of the magical swamp. Argus Filch is ranting about shackles and ‘the good old times’—which Tom can personally attest to not being a thing—and Dumbledore is too busy watching Tom for any potential proof of him being a deranged Dark Lord. As if Tom would give him any with so many witnesses around. Flitwick is somehow even more impressed than Tom is, while Minerva tries to hide her proud look behind a stern frown.
"What are we supposed to do with them? Those boys are clearly not impressed by either point loss or detention, and their scale just keeps growing. I fear it will cover the whole school by the time they graduate!"
"I might have an idea for that - I mean, clearly, they aren’t properly challenged by regular school work, yes?"
"We can not just let their behaviour go because they are bored, Thomas!"
"Of course not! However, this is a truly ingenious feat of magic—we should not stifle them, but help them grow. How about some extra curricular work? Unique challenges that they can complete on their own time and hand in for some extra credit, with the stipulation of also completing their regular work, naturally."
"Why would they agree to that? They create their own side projects, without doing school work."
"It would get their stifling mother off their backs. I, for one, would love to have breakfast without hearing one of her riveting rants."
"She does have quite a way with them. Alright then. I assume you already have some ideas for their extra curriculars?"
"Certainly. And if I am not much mistaken, so has Filius."
"Oh, I would so love to pick their brains! They would have done so well in my house!"
"Keep your grubby paws off my lions, you thief!"
"Now, Thomas, my boy, I feel I must ask. Where is Madame Umbridge?" Dumbledore steeples his hands and gives Tom an intense stare over the top of his half-moon spectacles.
Tom visibly startles and sends a confused glance towards the other teachers. "Who? Ah—pardon me, headmaster, but who might you be referring to?"
"Albus! Why would Thomas, of all people, know that? Wouldn’t it be more sensible to write the ministry for that information?" Minerva angrily shuffles the folder in front of her. "Besides. The point of a teachers' conference is to discuss the ongoings of the school, not wayward ministry employees."
"A m-ministry employee? Did something happen to this Madame Umeridge?" Tom nervously twiddles his fingers. Of course, he knows exactly what happened to that horrible woman, but they can’t exactly prove that. Just because he himself can’t teach Defense doesn’t mean he’ll let someone like her take the job—he does want the best for the students, unlike others. But Tom has yet to encounter a problem that can’t be solved with an unforgivable or two, so it’s all fine, really.
"Madame Umbridge was supposed to teach Defense against the Dark Arts this year—you know this, because you met her at the pre-term conference, my boy. What I want to know is why she disappeared right after."
"Really Albus—"
"Oh my, how forgetful of me! And how terrible—I do hope she is quite alright!"