Chapter 1
Gilderoy Lockhart exits the International Portkey Office with a practiced flare of his expensive designer robes and a tooth-flashing smile. The press is notorious for choosing the worst possible pictures for their gossip columns. No, it would not do to give them the opportunity to catch him at anything other than his absolute best. And at such a momentous occasion at that!
Just a bare hour ago he heard the news from a rather well-placed acquaintance. Of course, he immediately arranged for his return to Britain. However, he is still undecided on how to handle the situation. One wrong move and he would come out of this with a tarnished reputation, or worse - completely unmentioned.
He shudders internally at the thought. Outwardly, he winks at an employee as he passes them in the hallway, making them giggle and blush. Now where is the press? Usually, they would have mobbed him the second he stopped spinning! They must really be off their game tonight - or they are all busy with the truly unprecedented situation that called Gilderoy himself away from his travels. At least this gives him some more time to decide his course of action.
Now on the one hand, he could be the one who rushed back to help with the inevitable fallout of the defeat of You-Know-Who. Give the press a heroic face to print under their headlines to reassure the public that all the remaining Deatheaters would be rounded up and that there was nothing left to fear. Which, of course, would invoke the question of where exactly he had been during the height of the war. Naturally, Gilderoy would never even allude to the simple truth that he was purposely avoiding it and instead used the time to find the plot for his next best-seller. But the truth is subjective anyway, so that doesn’t really matter.
On the other hand, he did learn about the whole thing early enough that he can easily pretend to not have known about it at all. He came back from his travels - maybe some kind of secret apprenticeship, he is certainly young enough to pull that card at least once - to lend his wand to the war effort. What a shame he was too late to truly help with You-Know-Who!
Yes, yes, that would certainly work to his advantage. Too bad he won’t really have a chance of making the title page. Not with the fact that You-Know-Who got defeated by a baby - a baby that is already more famous than Gilderoy himself and the news is barely out. That really should be considered a crime - he is nowhere near old enough to have his fame stolen by the next generation already! And the little thing didn’t even consciously do so!
A commotion of some sort blocks his path in the Ministry Atrium. There are a lot of people gathered close to the fireplaces - including the reporters Gilderoy was missing after his arrival. There are also a lot of Aurors, the Minister Bagnold and what appears to be Albus Dumbledore. The most noise comes from someone whom Gilderoy identifies as Sirius Black. The man seems to be entirely incoherent. More than that, after closer inspection he looks like he is twitching uncontrollably, while being barely held upright by Remus Lupin, a friend of Blacks, if Gilderoy remembers right. Hard to forget them, really. They, James Potter and another rather forgettable kid had truly shaken things up during Gilderoy’s last years at Hogwarts.
Come to think of it, James Potter’s death is probably the reason for Black’s pitiful state. That and at least one Cruciatus, from the looks of it. Not that Gilderoy is an expert by any means, but not even he managed to evade the war entirely. Everyone has seen things.
“Now, now, my boy. I truly believe -” Dumbledore says placatingly. He seems to be attempting to move towards a woman in healers robes and the baby she is holding.
“Absolutely fucking not! He is MY godson! You can not take him from me!”
“And why exactly do you believe it to be a good idea to put a magical child with muggles of all people? A child as high profile as this one no less?” Minister Bagnold boldly steps in between Dumbledore and Black.
“They are Harry’s last remaining family. It is imperative that he stays with them. Lily’s sacrifice will only give him the protection he needs if he stays with her blood.”
“BULLSHIT! I -”
“Control yourself, Mr. Black! Now Albus, you cannot possibly expect muggles to be capable of protecting young Harry, blood wards or no! They are also not at all equipped to properly deal with all the things that come with raising a magical child. No, the laws against placing a known magical child with muggles are there for a reason and I will see them be followed!”
“Lily’s sister certainly knows how to deal -”
“Watching accidental magic happen as a child is quite different from dealing with it as a parent, headmaster.”
“Now I must insist -”
“No. This discussion is closed. All that remains is to find a suitable guardian and then we can deal with the further fallout. I am sorry to say Mr. Black, that you are not currently capable of raising a child. Exposure to the Cruciatus like you experienced is not without its consequences as you well know. Now as a member of the Sacred Twenty Eight, James certainly had a vast amount of distant relatives, however the child’s protection is of utmost importance and vetting them all will take quite some time.”
Now this is quite the unexpected opportunity. While Gilderoy does believe himself to be far too young for the mentor thing, it will take a number of years before it gets to that point. And now is truly the only possible time he can set himself up as such — not that he had planned on doing such a thing, but far be it from him to leave such good fortune by the wayside.
“Excuse me, I could not help but overhear —” Looks like he will make the Prophet's title page after all.