Keep on keeping on

When Harry arrived back in his dorm room, it was 9pm. The boy flopped on his bead, exhausted. It had been a long evening and Harry was struggling with everything that had happened. He was starting to feel safer around Professor Snape, but it still terrified him that all his secrets were laid bare. Harry stared up at the red hangings on his bed and let a solitary tear slip from his eyes. It was all so overwhelming. Harry curled up and fell into an uneasy sleep.

The small boy woke up with a start, breathing heavily. His whole body felt clammy and shaky. Early morning light streamed through the windows, castling a golden glow throughout the dorm. Harry could hear the heavy breathing of his sleeping classmates and Harry knew that he would not be able to sleep again so he decided to get up and get dressed before heading down to the common room.

Harry reached the common room and chose the familiar chair that he had become accustomed to. He allowed himself to read his charms textbook and sit quietly in the space, hearing only the gentle crackling of the fire. Harry smiled to himself, grateful that he was so peaceful after the events of last night. His nightmare had shaken him but sitting here, now, Harry felt the calmness wash over him and Harry sighed contentedly. After an hour, Harry heard footsteps coming down the stairs. His head snapped up just as Hermione made her way into the common room. Harry looked at her briefly and then looked back at his book, expecting her to walk past and ignore him.

“Harry?” A quiet voice rang out and Harry jumped. He looked up at the girl who was stood nervously over him. Hermione was shifting on the balls of her feet and was running her fingers up and down her arms.

“Harry. I wanted to say I’m sorry. I’ve been a bad friend. Professor Snape spoke to me and told me that we were friends and that someone took my memories of it. He didn’t tell me anything else, but I’ve been thinking, and I think that I can remember that we were friends I just can’t remember the details. I’m sorry and if you want to, I’d like to be friends again please.” Hermione explained. She stumbled over her words and didn’t make eye contact with the black haired boy. Harry smiled at Hermione and nodded, without hesitation. He needed her and he’d missed her, and he was glad that she wanted him back. Hermione’s face broke into a wide grin.

“Thank you, Harry. Let’s go for breakfast!” Hermione held out her hand and Harry took it, squeezing reassuringly. The reunited friends walked out of the common room, both smiling and happy that they had each other.

For the next week, Harry and Hermione had slipped easily back in their familiar rhythm. Granted, Harry was closed off and reserved about what he had gone through, but he did talk (a word used loosely about Harry) to Hermione about it. He explained about the notebook that she had gifted him and small parts about his home life; about how he was treated unkindly. Harry did not go into detail as he did not want to scare the girl away, but he shared some details. Harry explained that Snape was helping him to talk again. Hermione always listened quietly and comforted Harry when he cried, and for that, Harry was grateful.

So, when Harry made his way to Snape’s office once more, a week after the last, the small child was looking forward to telling his professor that Hermione and he were friends again. Harry had a large grin on his face as he walked through the door.

“You certainly look happier Mr Potter!” Snape exclaimed warmly, waving his wand and immediately to cast the eloquor charm.

“Yes professor! Hermione and I are friends again!” The boy’s voice was gleeful and excited. Harry was clapping his hands like a child on Christmas day and jumping up and down.

“Harry that is wonderful. I am so very happy for you. How does that make you feel?” Snape’s smiled kindly, his eyes alight with joy. He watched the boy as Harry expressed his happiness outwardly to the world.

“I’m not sure sir! Happy, obviously. I’ve never had a friend before so when I met Hermione on the train, and when she became my friend, I was overjoyed but then she started ignoring me and I felt so lonely.”

“You must remember Harry. Hermione did not ignore you. She could not remember your friendship. Some evil magic was cast upon her and whilst it is still there, I believe that by you two getting close again, the spell can be broken. With time, the strength of your friendship can overpower the memory charm, and she will remember everything. But for now, let us focus on the matter at hand.”

For the next 45 minutes, Severus used legilimency to revisit Harry’s memories, exploring all the times when Harry attempted to speak but the words got caught in his throat. Snape worked tirelessly, battling against the black curtains that clouded Harry’s mind. Every memory he saw had the same dark fog and Severus concluded that this was evidence of Harry’s unintended occlumency. The work was intricate, and Snape felt exhausted even after a short time. The man could feel Harry battling against him, his mind squirming uncomfortably at the intrusion. Each memory bit at Severus harshly, each revealing more dark truths about Harry and his treatment. He tried to ignore the loud voices and sounds of fists finding their target, accompanied by quiet, tortured whimpering. Snape had no wish to hurt the boy further by focusing on these memories and Snape had no wish to torture himself either. So, the man worked quickly.

Slowly, some of the dark fog began to dissipate and some memories became clearer in its absence. Snape smiled to himself, realising that Harry’s voice would return. The man withdrew back to reality, finding himself once again in his office. Harry was still in the chair he’d left him in. Whilst pale and trembling, the boy was not in the same state of panic that he had been in last week.

“Harry?” Snape asked cautiously. Harry flinched slightly but looked into the eyes of the man before him. Severus had removed the eloquor charm before he began. He wanted Harry to focus on talking rather than relying on his thoughts to be spoken aloud. Now that Snape was sure his voice would return, it would just be a case of practising – using a muscle that had not been used in a long time.

“Harry. I have begun to break down your barriers. I believe your voice will return now. I will not put the charm on you again now. I want you to practice. Let’s start simple. What is your name?” Snape explained, eyeing the boy curiously. Harry shifted in his seat and pulled at his fingers. He swallowed harshly, licking his dry lips. Snape conjured a glass of water at this and handed it to the boy, who took it with shaking hands.

“Go on, Harry.”

Harry swallowed again but opened his mouth.

Harry felt different. His head felt less sluggish and clouded. He heard Snape’s reassurances and felt warm inside, grateful that the work might be about to pay off. Harry thought of his name. Harry James Potter. Harry James Potter. Harry James Potter. He chanted the words in his head like a mantra. Harry opened his mouth and tried to force the words outwards. He felt them rise in his throat. Harry James Potter. But just as they reached the front, they caught on his lips and Harry stuttered. Anger bubbled up inside him and the boy clenched his fists. He slammed them against his head and groaned in frustration.

“Harry it’s ok. We knew that this would take time. Take a breath, calm yourself. Let the anger inside you dissipate and try again.” Snape whispered kindly.

So, Harry tried again. He heard the words in his mind, and he felt them creeping into his mouth. Harry took a deep breath and allowed a feeling of calm wash over him. Once again, Harry opened his mouth and allowed the words to flow from his mouth.

“H-Harry J-James P-P-Potter. Harry James P-Potter.” Harry stuttered the words out. His face broke into a wide smile and his eyes lit up with joy as he heard himself for the first time.

“Harry! That was excellent! Well done, child! Well done!” Snape cried jovially. He clapped his hands and smiled at the boy.

“I-I am H-Harry!” The boy cried again. He was bouncing up and down in his seat, clapping his hands repeatedly like a child.

“Yes, you are! Well done, Harry. I am so proud. Can you tell me what house you are in?”

“G-G… G-Gryffindor.” Harry replied. He stumbled over this word, his glee waning as his face showed exhaustion over the effort.

“Brilliant. Harry, I can see that you are getting tired now so we shall leave it there for this evening. Run along to Miss Granger and tell her the good news!” Snape said, emphasising the words tell, knowing now that Harry could. His voice was a muscle that needed exercising, and Snape would not begrudge the boy the opportunity to practice. Harry nodded and ran to the door.

“T-Thank y-yo-you.” With that, the boy fled, and Severus lent back in his chair, his heart filling with pride.

Harry ran through the castle halls, his whole body buzzing with excitement. He reached the common room in record time and clambered through the portrait hole. He looked frantically for Hermione and grinned when he found her. Harry sat down beside her, and Hermione looked up from the book that she had been reading.

“Hello.” Hermione greeted, smiling at her friend. She took in his happy smile and the excited glint in his sparkling green eyes. “Everything ok? How did it go with Professor Snape?”

Harry clapped his hands again and then gripped Hermione’s hands with his own. He looked deeply into her eyes and smiled again, excited to see her reaction.

“E-Everyt-thing went brill-b-brilliantly!”