Her Right Hand

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Multi
G
Her Right Hand
Summary
Hermione is tired of being silenced and pushed aside so she tells the ministry to fuck off and forms a crime ring. Draco, in his unending wisdom, decides that doing the same is the best way to gain Grangers attention.Shenanigans ensue.
Note
A monumental thank you to Stephydfab for pulling this story out of my head, for hyping the absolutely chaotic crack that my brain came up with, and of course for keeping this from being a poorly written dumpster fire. You’re the bestest.I’m half asleep posting this so tags will be added at some point.I’m leaving this one open to everybody, pray everyone behaves and it can stay that way.Without further ado I present you mafia queen Hermione. Enjoy!!I have no idea why this is showing as a one shot, I promise it’s not. I’ll fix it later.
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Chapter 7

Draco walked downstairs to find his mother and Pansy leaning over the main dining room table, and by the looks of the table and the surrounding room they had officially turned it into a war room. Or the wedding planning room, but to Draco’s eyes he couldn’t really tell the difference. Swatches of fabric hung from chairs and sconces alike, bouquets of about 50 different species of flowers were laid out where there was room, a miniature scale of the gardens was set up in the center of the table. Two particularly massive parchments hung in the air, one holding the rough guest list and the other containing the potential seating arrangement. 

 

Draco walked to his mother and placed a kiss on her cheek before greeting Pansy with a “have you even gone home yet Pans? The hair is looking a bit stringy.” 

He prepared for the hex coming his way from Pansy, what he naively did not prepare for was the one coming from his mother. He forgot how powerful her wandless magic was as he struggled to remain upright after the direct sting to his side. 

“Do not be cruel Draco, Pansy looks stunning as always and you will apologize to her,” 

Draco winced, whether from the pain of the hex or the pain of having to apologize he couldn’t be sure. “I’m terribly sorry Pansy, that was utterly uncouth of me.” 

Pansy looked down on him, and narrowed her eyes before accoing a separate parchment and handing it to him. 

“What’s this then?” Draco asked. 

“It’s your proposal plan, I thought it would be best to set it up on Sunday when Hermione will already be here for tea.” 

Draco read through the plan, it was a good one, something he would have planned himself had he been allowed the freedom to do so. 

“I’ve already contacted the Daily Prophet darling, promised them exclusive access to the announcement and rights to two photos of the happy couple,” Narcissa happily stated while sending offending bouquets to the aether. 

“So this is me being told to show up essentially? Since you already have everything planned out?” Draco dumbly asked out loud, he already knew the answer of course. 

“Yes, exactly. Thank you for being so quick with that conclusion,” Pansy claimed with a wide smile. 

Draco was saved from further rudeness flowing from his mouth with the sounds of Theo and Adrian entering the manor, and though he couldn’t hear him he knew Blaise was with them. 

Before their presence could push Pansy to throw anymore hexes Draco exited the dining room to meet his friends. From the absolute giddiness on Theo’s and Adrain’s faces he knew they were about to get messy. 

“What’s happened?” Draco asked. 

“Word from the zombie king: an out of town pureblood causing problems, we have the name, favorite haunts, and permission from the chosen one himself to do as we please,” Adrian looked as though he was going to begin weeping tears of absolute joy at the prospect of free reign from the boy who wouldn’t die. 

Draco raised one eyebrow, “so he really is fully in with us then?” 

Blaise answered, “it would appear so, word is that he and Pansy have finally worked out their problems and now that he’s in her bed, he’s in ours as well.” 

“Well, alright then. And this foreigner, he’s not-“ 

“I already checked’ Blaise answered before continuing “he doesn’t belong to any of the other families. A Frenchman.” 

Draco delighted in the prospect of catching and playing with a Frenchman, he slapped Theo and Blaise on the back and said “well boys, what are we waiting for?” 

“Fuck the French” from the illustrious Hera. 

“Exactly my gorgeous girl, fuck the French. Run along and spend the day with Artemis now, I’ll be back later for you.” Theo said before giving the bird a small kiss on her head and watching her fly off. 

 

 

And while the boys were off perpetuating a centuries long rivalry, Hermione found herself lost in a whirlwind of drama in the club. 

 

One of the potlicians, the new one that had joined during Lupercalia, apparently was now regretting his decision to take part in the festivities. 

“What do you mean he’s going to sue us?” Hermione asked with an air of incredulity. 

Claire shrugged before replying, “his solicitor stopped by this morning demanding entry, said that his client had been bewitched and hoodwinked and demanding we pay for his mental distress.” 

Ginny piped up, “I could just kill him, can’t sue when you’re dead after all.” 

“Apparently his solicitor had already thought of that, explicitly told me that if anything were to happen to his client he would, quote, ‘start a witch hunt to rival those in the 1500’s.’” 

Hermione sat in silence for a moment, with muggles like this she could understand how Voldemort gained so much ground so quickly. 

“Bring them in for a meeting, tell them I’ll settle out of court, and place them both on the black list.” 

“What are you planning, Mi? I know you’re not just going to throw money at them and think they’ll go away.” 

“Good old obliviate Gin, I am going to handle them here while you and your brothers will go to both their offices and their homes and remove any evidence that either of them knew of our existence.” 

Ginny seemed to consider this for a moment “A little smash job yea? Make them scared? They won’t remember what to be scared of but…” 

“Why the hell not, free reign for all of you to do what you need to do.” 

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