What if Peter never meant to betray his friends?
No… no I… I’d never do that. I won’t do it… they… they’re my friends. I couldn’t possibly betray them like that. But… he planned it. All of it. Through and through. That’s why he wanted me. That’s why he noticed me in the first place. But I can’t… I can’t… I… I cannot resist him. I couldn’t till now, so how could I possibly resist him now? They’re all right. I’ve always been too weak. But… could anyone resist the Imperius Curse, really? If so… please help me. I can’t… I can’t tell him. They trusted me. They still do. I cannot betray their trust. I cannot betray them. They’re my friends.
"Wormtail!" he raised his voice and my head snapped towards him, my eyes looking into two crimson pools. "Speak," he hissed. "Where are they hiding?"
Nothing.
"Tell me, where are they hiding, Wormtail!"
I can’t. They’re my friends. I cannot speak up. If I did… who knows if they didn’t pour Veritaserum into my cup earlier? But I couldn’t risk it. I can’t tell him. I won’t-
"Crucio!"
Pain… utter pain… can’t… pain… James… pain… Lily… pain… sweet… always so sweet… Harry… can’t…
"I’m going to ask you again, Wormtail," his voice was cool. Almost as cool as ice against my face.
"I can’t tell you," the words came out as a bare whisper even though I didn’t intend to speak them.
"You can’t tell me." he stood back up and took a few steps backward. "That’s right. Even though Lucius was so kind to bring you to me, a simple Imperius Curse isn’t enough. You must tell me willingly," as if. "So, Wormtail, it is purely up to you. Either tell me now or I’m sure it won’t be so hard to find someone who’ll take pleasure in torturing you as long as it takes for you to speak."
Pain. Even more excruciating pain. I don’t know how much more of it I could take. But for James… and Lily… and little Harry… I have to. I cannot tell him. Harry is just a baby… just a baby…
***
Peter lay defenseless on the cold stone floor, Lucius, Bellatrix, and Severus standing high above him. The door swings open and the Dark Lord walks in, his face wearing, one could say, a grin.
"Leave," he ordered the three Death Eaters.
He kicked my side to turn me around, his eyes piercing a hole into my soul.
"So they are in Godric’s Hollow I hear."
No. No, you didn’t. I didn’t say that. I didn’t. I wouldn’t.
I could feel my whole body aching. The tears so heavy sliding down my cheeks.
"Show me," he said, wrapping his skinny hand around my wrist.
The next thing I heard was a loud snap. My back hit the ground, even though I lay still. I opened my eyes, and under any other circumstances, the prettiest view was held above me. The sky was so clear you could see the stars. Even the moon shone bright. It was in it’s first quarter. I couldn’t remember the last time we were all together during the full moon. At least Remus always has Sirius by him.
"Stand up, Wormtail!" his hiss brought me back to reality. "Show me where they’re hiding."
Slowly, very slowly I got up on my feet. Revaluing my options I tried to think of any other way this could go.
I could try to run…useless.
I could try to hex him…what am I even thinking, me, hexing the Dark Lord?
"Get going, Wormtail," all my thoughts dismissed as I spotted his raised wand. I was cornered here. So…I took a step. Then another. And another. And another. And almost without even noticing I was leading him to the Potters.
When we were there, I started thinking again. No. I can’t let him get inside. He still can’t see it. I still haven’t told him…
"So here?"
"No," my response came out as a bare whisper.
"I see…" I could feel his stare on my back. "Say it. Say it Wormtail!"
I turned to face him, but one look into his eyes froze every word that was forming on my tongue. He raised his wand again.
Maybe James will hear me scream. Maybe they’ll run away. They’d have the time.
But a slight swish of the wand and his lips forming around the word Imperio is all it took.
"Yes!" just like that. All of my bravery had gone. "Yes, they’re here…"
He turned his head. The glint of the house almost visible in the red pools. He stepped towards it.
"Wait here, Wormtail," he inclined his head back to me. "Wait here until someone comes looking for their bodies."
With these words, he left.
I saw him standing in front of the door and then he just…he just knocked? Really? What kind of fool, who’s hiding with only one person knowing where would…
James… of course it’s James. And then… glimpse of green light. He didn’t stand a chance. He must’ve thought it was me knocking on the door.
I could see Lily through the window on the upper floor. That was Harry’s nursery. She was putting Harry down as if his crib would protect him. She stood in front of it. Oh… Lily… sweet, sweet Lily… He took her down next.
Then there was only Harry. The next blast was for him.
***
I don’t know how much time could’ve passed, ten minutes, twenty, thirty? But it felt like hours. I stood there, unable to move with shock or his curse I didn’t know.
It was then that I heard the footsteps behind me.
"Peter?" Sirius. Of course, he’d be the one to show up first. But his voice wasn’t clear. There was something in it as if he suspected something had happened.
"James…"
"James? What’s with him? Peter what happened?" he was now close enough to see into my face. All reddened and wept.
I couldn’t say anything more, even if I were able to, as he sprinted to the house.
I could only see him stop dead at the entrance.
He turned to face me.
"What did you do!? Peter, what the hell did you do!?" he was now coming closer to me and I couldn’t help it but take step after step backward. "How could you!? How could you have betrayed him!? He is our friend! He trusted you! Do you hear me!? He trusted you! He trusted you and you betrayed him!"
His words were getting fuzzy with his sobs. It was a tragedy alone to watch him. Watch him as he realizes, that his best friend is no more. I couldn’t bear it. But… he was right, wasn’t he? It was all my fault.
"Sirius… I… I couldn’t… I didn’t… I didn’t mean to…"
Maniac.
That was the first word that came to my mind as he started laughing.
"You didn’t mean to?" he whispered. "You… didn’t mean to? What the fuck do you mean, you didn’t mean to!?"
"He tortured me… You’ve no idea the weapons the Dark Lord possesses… Sirius… What would you have done? What would you have done!?"
"I would’ve died! I would’ve died rather than betray my friends!" he cried out.
"Sirius… He… He would’ve killed me!"
"Then you should’ve realized, Peter," his voice dropped low, "that if Voldemort didn’t kill you, I would."
Suddenly his stare, always so friendly and mischievous, felt more murderous than the Dark Lord’s even.
"Sirius…"
"Avada Kedavra!"
And all went still.
***
Sirius never knew the whole truth, but he knew enough.
When the Aurors came, they would’ve found Peter’s body first. And with two more dead bodies inside the house, who would’ve thought twice about the murderer? After all, Sirius was the only other wizard, capable of such magic, present.
Who cared about the whole truth, when it was so painfully evident?
It definitely wasn’t Remus. Despite that Sirius might’ve been the love of his life, he just killed three of his best friends. And besides, he knew it, didn’t he? He had suspected Sirius for so long now. It just never occurred to him, that Sirius would ever be able of such a horrendous act.
And when Remus tried to contact Mary again, after the call, he only found out, he truly had no friends left.
He was left utterly alone.
Unaware of the fact, that that is exactly how in a few years will the little boy feel like as well. The boy who lived.