Many battles are lost
As Harry continued to limp his way to school, blood trickling down his shins and seeping through his trousers, which dried in a deep red crust, from the previous fall. His thoughts were racing at 100 miles per hour, overwhelming him and giving him no room to think of anything else. He knew he'd messed up, that was a fact. The boy even considered just running away, a notion he'd return to consider later.
As he approached the gates of school, the initial feeling of sickness had passed, he knew he'd remain safe in school so long as he could avoid Dudley, which was proven to be rather easy (he knew plenty of good hiding spots around his school). He would, however, not be safe from his uncle but Harry chose to cross that bridge when he came to it.
Harry walked into the classroom and took his seat at the back. Though he did get lonely sometimes, he supposed it was for the best. He was weird, after all. The Dursleys never missed the opportunity to remind him.
***
Remus felt his tired eyes flicker to Harry more today. After the new information Sirius had told him, he couldn't help but sympathise for the boy. He was just so young to have already gone through so much.
His stomach lurched at the thought of the cigarette burn scars lining his forearms.
What if that's not even the worst of it..? the thought circled his mind all day.
To anyone else Harry probably just seemed like a quiet, reserved child, perhaps just wasn't a fan of the other kids and preferred to spend his time with books (Remus knew what that was like). But he couldn't help but think that being deprived from interaction was going to affect the boy, maybe it already had?
Sirius had been open with him about his childhood at Grimmauld Place and Remus had always regretted not helping him escape there earlier. It broke his heart to think Harry was experiencing similar things. Remus wanted to help as much as he possible could. But he needed to make sure Harry trusted him before anything else.
***
At the end of class Harry hung back again, mainly because he didn't want to get thrown around the cloak room again, secretly because he was hoping Mr Lupin would talk to him again. (He wanted to procrastinate going 'home' as long as possible, the thought of Uncle Vernon waiting in the playground to take him back was making him severely irritable. He'd been pinching his skin, unconsciously, with his nails, trying to keep himself grounded.)
"Hello Harry." Lupin smiled kindly as he approached (slightly cautious, but Harry decided to ignore that).
"Hi.." he said in a timid voice.
"Great work again today! I expected nothing less from my best student."
"You think so..?!"
"Of course!" he went to lay a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder but stopped when he saw him flinch and his posture immediately tense. Lupin's eyebrows knit close together. "Are you alright?"
Harry's breath hitched slightly.
Should.. should I tell him? he discussed internally.
He knew how much trouble he was going to be in the second he got home. On the other hand, Uncle Vernon always threatened him with unspeakable consequences if he was ever to tell anyone.
"Harry?" Mr Lupin interrupted his thoughts. "You can be honest with me, you know? Tell me anything." he reassured.
But Harry had already abandoned the idea of a confession, he was already in enough trouble as is. He bit his tongue, still anxious for what was in for him. The boy knew Vernon wouldn't be happy, that was a given, he'd have been foolish if he expected anything less.
Harry knew the Dursleys far too well. Aware that Dudley was a complete snitch; he'd do anything to get Harry in trouble.
"I'm okay..." he lied.
The teacher gave a dejected sigh and frowned before saying, "If you say so..."
Harry nervously directed his eyes to the shabby-looking ceiling.
"Have you made any friends today, perhaps?" Lupin continued to make conversation, maybe he could sense that Harry didn't want to go home yet.
He shook his head.
Lupin frowned again. "Why not?"
The boy hesitated slightly before he spoke, "...I'm different. My Uncle and Aunt always tell me so." he bit his cheek, "Say I'm freak."
"Oh, Harry... I promise you're not."
"Yes I am. I can-" but he was cut off by someone bursting through the classroom door, heavy steps echoing towards him.
Vernon Dursley cemented his plump fingers around Harry's upper arm.
"I've been looking for you." he stressed through gritted teeth.
Lupin looked shocked by the sudden invasion and tried to intervene, "Sir, please calm down I think you're hurting him." he said, looking at Harry's tense expression.
"Enough of this! Come on boy."
He began to roughly drag the ravenette towards the door, much to Harry's dismay.
"No-" he protested, trying to rip his arm from his arm free from his uncle's firm grip. "No, NO!"
Lupin stood there, a shocked expression on his face.
"Sir, I really think you should-"
But Vernon had slammed the classroom door behind him after he'd dragged his nephew out.
Harry tried to dig his heels into the floor, whilst he was pulled away, but his worn, second-hand shoes had no friction whatsoever.
He was in hysterics now. Those that were still in the building were staring at the scene, probably thinking that Harry was just throwing a tantrum. Who could blame them? They had no idea what he was in for the moment they stepped through the threshold of their door.
***
Remus returned home feeling more unsettled than he had the day before.
"Moony? What's wrong?" Sirius gave him a sullen look.
The brunette gave a shaky breath and looked towards his boyfriend. "I think Harry might be in trouble."
Sirius' eyes shot towards Remus, heart beating in his throat.
"Or maybe he's not... I could be overreacting, but Vernon quite literally dragged the poor boy out my classroom." he paused, trying to collect him self as his words were slowly merging. "I just... I froze, Sirius. I couldn't move or help. All I did was stand there like a fucking idiot and try to tell him to knock it off. Some help I am..." Remus muttered the last bit.
He collapsed onto the sofa and rested his head in his hands; feeling shameful.
Sirius crouched down infront of the brunette, deep brown orbs staring back into his piercing blues.
"You are not an idiot, Remus Lupin." he peeled the other's scarred hands away from his face and leant up to his lips. "You're probably- no- definitely, the smartest person I know. I understand what it's like to freeze in times when you feel like you should be doing anything but." he kissed his partner again, this time they both lingered. "I'll go round later, as Padfoot, see if he's alright (Merlin, I hope he is) and then we can have an early night, yeah?"
Remus let out a relaxed sigh, "Okay.."
"Right then. You stay here and I'll start dinner, then I'll go straight away."
Sirius put both his hands up to Remus' face and pulled him into another loving kiss on the lips then pecked him on the cheek before pressing his forehead against the latter's. He gave a content sigh,
"I love you, Moony."
"I love you too Padfoot."
***
Harry knew he'd be in trouble the second Vernon threw him into the car.
He usually never missed the chance to degrade Harry; the car ride home was painfully silent. It made his ears ring and his skin scratch.
He knew he'd be in trouble, the second they stepped over the threshold of the Dursley household and Uncle Vernon grabbed a handful of hair then threw him. into a wall.
But he really knew he was in trouble when he dragged him into the living room, by his black tresses, and shut the door behind him. He'd never done that before; Petunia or Dudley were always nearby, watching. He must be in for it if they weren't allowed to observe like he was some sort of animal at a zoo.
The second Vernon let go (just to roll up his sleeves, mind you) Harry made a desperate attempt to scramble away;
Get to the door, a corner, the garden, anything. he thought in desperation.
But his Uncle overpowered him by a mile. His hand clasping around the frail boy's ankle to drag him back.
Harry was screaming, sobbing, crying out for help as he gripped his tiny hands around anything they could find, trying not to be pulled back to the monster.
Vernon stepped on his nephew's hand with his steel toe cap boots. A horrifying crunch sound echoed through the room and Harry let out a deafening shriek.
What happened after that was a blur.
He remembered the scent of his flesh burning after Uncle Vernon put his broken hand into the fire. And the several cigarette butts that he put out on the boy's arm, adding to the collection of previous burn scars on his forearm. He could also recall being punched, kicked, thrown around. But he had no idea how long that went on for, or what order the events occurred.
Harry lay motionless on the carpet (which was now dyed crimson from his blood). Vernon grabbed a handful of hair and roughly pulled his head up.
"You are never to use your freakish ways on my son ever again. Do you understand me?" he murmured through gritted teeth. When Harry didn't respond, he shook his head roughly and repeated, "I said, do you understand me?" Vernon said with more aggression.
"Y-yes" Harry choked.
"Yes what?"
"Yes, sir.."
And with that, the plump man dragged his nephew back to the cupboard under the stairs, roughly shoved him inside, then slammed the door shut. Leaving the fragile shell of a 7 year old boy in the dark; scared and alone.
Harry quickly crawled to the furthest corner from the cupboard door, making sure his back was against the wall.
The ravenette pulled his knees up to his chest and laid his head on them.
I can't breathe.. his thoughts were racing throughout his mind IcantbreatheIcantbreatheIcantbreathe
Tears fell out his eyes like waterfalls. Blood rushed past his ears. Heart thudding in his chest. Breathing was hard. Too hard. He began to dig his fingernails into the palm of his (unbroken) hand. Next, he began to scratch away at any bare skin he could find, but he hadn't time to change and was still in his oversized school uniform, he opted for the skin his face.
Harry couldn't remember how long it took for him to pass out and whether it was because he'd cried himself to sleep or due to the fact he lost the capability to breathe.
He woke up the next day in so much pain that he couldn't move. Not that it mattered much, anyway. The Dursleys didn't let him out the cupboard.
However, Dudley had slid the metal plate (which blocked out any trace of light) away from the cupboard door and whispered through the gaps,
"Harry, I'm sorry..."
When he closed it again, the ravenette let out a ragged breath followed by quiet cries into his battered teddy bear.
Harry didn't go to school that day.
***
Sirius did as he promised, he went to the Dursley's straight after dinner but had not been as lucky as he'd been the previous day. He'd not caught Harry reading in his leisure, this time.
However he swore he picked up a scent of blood. The scent was overwhelming, whenever he was in his animagus form. He's recognise it anywhere. Padfoot quietly made his was toward the estate's window and peered in. His dark beady eyes peered into the window but all he could see was Harry's austere Aunt watching the telly with her piggy son.
No Vernon, no Harry in sight.
Padfoot made a slight whine at the discovery which, unfortunately, did not go unheard for Petunia. She whipped her head around and immediately saw the large black German shepherd and began to chase him away.
Before he could get caught, Sirius escaped from the back-garden, the smell of blood becoming faint as he got further away from the house.
Nerves churned in his stomach. Was Harry in danger?