He dreams
POV Regulus
Regulus had been waiting for James to come home last night. He didn’t fully expect him to be home, but he still hoped.
He fell asleep on the couch and woke up around 9:30.
James isn’t home.
Wtf, James? Where are you?
Regulus cleans himself and the house up.
He’s so tired.
He misses James so much.
He’s been so distant towards him lately and it was breaking his heart bit by bit.
He’s so mad.
What the fuck has been going on?
He hears the door being unlocked. James walks in, expression emotionless.
Give him credit, he did try. He tried to keep his cool. To stay calm. To not freak out. But the moment James steps in the house, regulus snaps.
“Where have you been?!??!” He says sharply.
He feels a slight bit of guilt as James flinches slightly, but it is instantly gone when his boyfriend stares at him blankly
He wants to know what’s going on in his mind. To know what's keeping him away. Is Regulus doing something wrong? Did Regulus fuck up?
He wants to be gentle. He wants to be kind, and careful, but his anger taking control of his voice.
“Are you going to answer or just stand there like a total dumbass?”
He stands there like a total dumbass. Maybe Regulus is the dumbass for thinking he would do anything else.
James shrugs, and Regulus scoffs. Really, James?
“Unbelievable. You are unbelievable, James. Days out of weeks you just don’t come home. I don’t understand James. Are you cheating on me?” He says the last part quietly as if he’s scared of the answer.
“No,” James answers. It’s the first word he heard him say in 3 days, and he doesn’t believe it.
“Then answer me, damnit!” His voice is getting closer to a yell, and he reminds himself to stay cool. He hopes his face doesn’t give away how much he’s hurting, he hopes that James will just be honest.
James continues to be silent, and that only pisses Regulus off more.
He doesn’t know if he wants to scream or walk out.
He looks away, fighting the tears that threaten to form. He turns and walks into their bedroom.
He can hear James standing in place for just a moment before following him. He begins to pack a bag for 3 (maybe 4, just in case) nights.
He can feel James staring at him, quietly watching him pack. The tension between the two could be cut with a knife, and Regulus wants to throw up and cry.
He doesn’t turn around, taking a moment to compose himself, before saying,
“I’m going to stay with Sirius and Remus for a bit. I can’t do this right now,”
He finishes packing his bag and after one final breath, he turns and accidentally locks eyes with James.
“Let me know when you’re ready to talk. Honestly.” He says, then brushes past James toward the front door. He stops.
Please don’t let me leave. Ask- no, tell me to stay. Please. I love you, I need you, please, Jamie.
James doesn’t ask, tell, or do anything for that matter. He just stands and stares, like that’s all he knows how to do. And recently, it is.
So, Regulus sighs and walks out, a singular tear sliding down his face
He steps into his car, and with great dread, he pulls out the driveway, and onto the road.
He senses something off but blames it on the whole situation itself. Either way he doesn’t care. He’s too angry and tired and sad to truly care. He just drives to his brother’s, trying his best not to wreck because of the blindness his tears bring.
Little did he know he would regret ever leaving in not even an hour. Little did he know he might’ve just lost the best thing he’s ever had, for good
*******
He's freaking out.
The moment he left the house he knew something was off, he was just too mad and determined to leave to care. But now, with no distraction, he can’t do anything but care.
He had arrived at Sirius and Remus’ place about 35 minutes ago, Remus wasn’t there at the moment but Sirius was. And of course, the moment Sirius opened the door, he saw the distress and hurt on Regulus’ face and immediately asked what happened.
Regulus had told him about James’ recent behavior. How he’d been extremely distant, barely even looking at him let alone talking, how he would just not come home some nights and have no reason. Regulus told Sirius that he thought James was cheating.
That would have been horrible, Regulus would’ve been heartbroken. But he would’ve preferred that to this.
Sirius had explained to him James’ state of mind before Regulus came into the picture, and how things were looking too similar for his comfort. Sirius had texted James, just a simple ‘Hey you there?’ But James didn’t answer, and hadn’t even read it (which is beyond normal because James always answers his phone within 3 minutes of getting the message).
Sirius had decided to call him. He didn’t answer.
Called again, and the phone rang for a shorter time but was declined.
And when they tried to call once again, it didn’t go through at all.
So yeah, Regulus was freaking out, but who wouldn’t be?
"Alright let's go. We shouldn't jump to any conclusions yet," Sirius says.
Regulus feels like throwing up. His head is spinning.
"Yeah- yeah let's- let's go."
He stands and rushes out and back to his car, Sirius following behind him.
On the road, the car is filled with soft music from the radio and the silence between the brothers, both lost in their separate thoughts.
They are about to get on the bridge when they are stalled by traffic.
Regulus taps the steering wheel impatiently as they slowly make their way up the bridge.
Getting closer, Regulus sees an ambulance, and some police cars surrounding what looks to be a bad wreck.
He looks over at Sirius, who has a pitiful look on his face as he looks at the crash.
Regulus looks at it again.
Is that- holy shit. Regulus pulls forward a little more and squeezes in, parking next to a police car.
He hops out and rushes over.
Oh my God, it is.
His whole body is shaking and before he can get close enough to see what's happening, two officers stop him.
"Woah woah, sir what do you think you're doing?"
Regulus struggles against the officers, air caught in his lungs.
He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks over to see Sirius.
"We know who that guy is, officer," Sirius says.
The officers look at each other before nodding.
"Relation?"
"Best friends. But he-" he gestures to Regulus "-is his boyfriend"
The officers look at the boys for movement before letting them pass.
Regulus rushes over to where they are getting James onto a stretcher, Sirius close in pursuit.
He and Sirius falter as they see the condition James is in.
Unconscious, sweaty, bruised and cut up, bloody. His eyes closed and he looks like he's dead.
One of the doctors notices the boys and clarifies who they are.
Regulus can't breathe. He knew he should've left. He knew the moment he left the driveway that something was off. He's completely outta it.
He blinks and then boom they are in the back of the ambulance with James. Never has Regulus been so scared, not like this.
Please don't leave me, baby. Please please, please. I need you, I love you, please.
The next time he blinks, he and Sirius are now in the waiting room of the hospital, and Regulus doesn't even remember getting inside side or out of the ambulance, only being in it and being so scared.
Regulus hasn't prayed to God. Not since he ran away from his parents. But now, he couldn't stall praying. He was begging a god he wasn't for existed to save James. To give Regulus the punishment for all of James' sins and keep him alive. To take him instead.
Begging for James to stay with him.
He lays his head on Sirius' shoulder and closes his eyes. He's so tired.
Sirius wraps his arm around Regulus, "Go to sleep, reg. You're exhausted."
"But-"
"No buts, Reggie. I promise I will wake you up if anything happens."
It doesn't fully clear the doubt from Regulus' mine, but it is reassuring. He knows Sirius will. Sirius knows how important James is to him.
So he closes his eyes and lays back down on Sirius' shoulder. He slowly drifts into slumber, the weight of everything drifting away as well.
He dreams of James. Of them. Together. Happy. At peace. In love. He dreams of them. He dreams of his love. He dreams of James.
Please don’t leave me. I love you, Jamie.