Severus snape and the ultimate wish list
Title: Severus Snape and the Unlimited Wish List
A Time-Travel Shenanigans Fic
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Severus Snape opened his eyes and groaned.
He was alive.
That was already unacceptable.
Even more unacceptable? He was lying in his childhood bedroom at Spinner’s End, staring at the cracked ceiling, his eleven-year-old body weak and pathetic.
It took exactly four seconds for him to process what happened.
He had traveled back in time.
He sat up, flexing his tiny fingers, then smirked. “Oh. This is going to be fun.”
Because if life was going to keep throwing him into the past, then this time, he was going to win.
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Step One: Test the Limits
Snape quickly discovered that, for some unknown reason, he could now wish for anything—and it would just happen.
He started small.
“I wish for perfect eyesight.” Boom. No more glasses.
“I wish for my hair to be permanently silky and non-greasy.” Done. He now had luscious, shampoo-commercial-worthy locks.
“I wish for infinite money.” Instantly, a Gringotts vault appeared in his name, full of gold.
It took him ten minutes to go from poor, scrawny child to overpowered, rich, and stupidly good-looking.
Then, he started getting creative.
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Step Two: Fix Everything (But Pettily)
At Hogwarts, things went very differently.
James Potter tried to hex him? Snape wished for spell immunity. James hit him with a hex and it bounced off, smacking Sirius instead.
Lily Evans looked at him, confused. “Sev, what happened to you?”
Snape casually flipped his perfect, flowing, godly hair. “I grew as a person.”
Sirius Black tried to prank him? Snape wished all of Sirius’ hair to turn neon pink. Permanently.
McGonagall gasped. “Mr. Black, what have you done to yourself?!”
Sirius screeched. “IT WAS SNAPE!”
Snape simply sipped his pumpkin juice. “Prove it.”
Dumbledore sensed something was wrong. But every time he tried to investigate, Snape wished for Dumbledore to be mildly distracted by something ridiculous.
This resulted in Dumbledore spending an entire week pondering why socks always disappear in the laundry.
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Step Three: Absolute Power
By Year Three, Snape had:
Wished himself to be the most powerful wizard in history.
Banned Divination. Just because he felt like it.
Hexed Voldemort’s soul to explode the second he made a Horcrux.
Made Lucius Malfoy his personal butler.
Given himself the ability to fly (without a broom, just to flex on everyone).
Erased the concept of homework from Hogwarts. Students loved him.
By Year Five, Snape was so overpowered that the Sorting Hat tried to run away when he entered the Great Hall.
By Year Seven, Dumbledore retired early. “I can’t keep up with this child.”
Snape replaced him as Headmaster, Minister of Magic, and Supreme Mugwump.
And he still wasn’t done.
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Step Four: Get Whatever He Wants
Snape stared at his reflection in his gold-plated mirror. He was handsome, rich, immortal, and absurdly powerful.
And yet, something was missing.
He snapped his fingers. “I wish for an entire library of dark magic that only I can access.” Boom. Instant secret lair.
“I wish for a potion that makes me immune to stupidity.” Done. The mere presence of idiotic people now physically repelled from him.
Then, finally—
“I wish for a lifetime supply of Butterbeer and a throne made of James Potter’s shattered ego.”
James, somewhere in the castle, suddenly tripped and fell.
Snape sat back on his new Ego Throne™, sipping a Butterbeer, as the universe bent to his every whim.
Because this time?
This time, he got everything he wanted.
The End.