Chapter 1
Title: Snapeback in Time
A Completely Serious Fanfiction
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Severus Snape was dead.
Or at least, he was supposed to be. One moment, he was bleeding out on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, listening to Potter’s voice, and the next—
BOOM.
He woke up in his childhood bedroom. His old, miserable, dust-ridden bedroom in Spinner’s End.
And he was thirteen years old.
Snape took a slow, deep breath. Then another. Then he looked at his scrawny hands, his greasy (but significantly less greasy) hair, and the cracked mirror reflecting his very much alive teenage face.
Then he promptly walked over to the wall and punched it.
Because of course, of course, he got sent back to his miserable teenage years instead of, say, anywhere else.
But then—he remembered. All of it. The spells. The war. Every bit of magic he had ever learned in his forty years of existence.
And just like that, the despair melted away.
Because now? Now he was going to break the timeline.
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Step One: Get Stupidly Overpowered.
The first thing Snape did was raid his mother’s potion stash and drink everything.
Then, he started training.
Legilimency? He was already a master. But why stop there? He developed a technique to punch people in the mind.
Occlumency? He made his mental defenses so strong that Dumbledore himself would get psychic whiplash just trying.
Duels? Snape found a dark wizard fight club by the time he was fourteen and wrecked everyone.
Potions? He reinvented Wolfsbane by accident and started casually brewing immortality elixirs for fun.
By the time Hogwarts started, he was basically a magical demigod.
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Step Two: Flex on Everyone.
First day back at Hogwarts.
James Potter tried to hex him.
Snape blinked the spell away.
Literally.
Lily Evans gasped. “Sev—how did you do that?”
Snape smirked. “Magic.”
James tried again. Snape caught the spell mid-air, turned it into a butterfly, and set it free.
James was speechless. Sirius dropped his wand. Remus considered whether he was hallucinating. Peter just ran.
Dumbledore watched from his office and whispered, “Oh no.”
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Step Three: Break the Plot.
By Year Five, Snape had:
Invented wandless magic.
Discovered time travel (and refused to explain how).
Convinced Voldemort that baldness was a weakness and got him to start wearing wigs.
Adopted Harry Potter’s grandparents just to be petty.
Bullied Lucius Malfoy into giving him free money.
Made a Patronus so powerful it punched Dementors out of existence.
By Year Seven, he had dueled Dumbledore for fun and won.
By Year Eight (because he demanded an extra year), Voldemort took one look at him and retired on the spot.
Snape sat on the Hogwarts throne (which he installed himself), drinking a potion that gave him wings while the timeline shattered around him.
And he smirked.
Because this time?
This time, he won.
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[The End.]