Bulge: The Anthology

Luna observed Blaise as he moved around the long table in the greenhouse, grabbing soil for the plant he was repotting. His dark trousers, while perfectly tailored, did very little to hide his significant bulge. She had heard rumors about his size and ability to please a witch. 

And Luna was looking for another specimen. 

So, after Professor Sprout dismissed them for the day, she slipped him a note requesting to meet her outside the sixth-floor tapestry that night. 

At 11pm, Blaise sauntered up to where Luna was patiently waiting. 

“Hello, Blaise.” 

The wizard took her hand and kissed it. “Evening, Luna. I was intrigued by your note promising to show me a secret room.” 

She smiled sweetly and wove her fingers with his. “Right this way.”

Lifting up the tapestry, she revealed an ornately carved door. 

“What is this place?” 

“I discovered Rowena Ravenclaw’s study earlier in the year while trying to solve a puzzle.” 

Luna opened the door, and Blaise’s eager face morphed into horror. In the room stood four Hogwarts beds–one from each house. Three other men–Longbottom, Goldstein, and McMillian–were shackled to the bedposts, their screaming mute from a silencing charm. The Slytherin bed was empty, and he knew he was doomed to the same fate. 

“Petrificus Totalus.” 

Floating his frozen body over to the bed, Luna explained, “You see, I discovered over the summer that I’m a Succubus, and I have found that the larger a man’s penis is, the more semen I can procure. Using one man would be quite laborious on his part, so the most logical solution is to have multiple sources to satisfy my hunger.” 

She removed the charm, and Blaise thrashed against the restraints. 

“This is a rather lovely room if I do say so myself,” she refrained whimsically, looking around the space.