Knee Deep in Raw Sewage
The three of them looked around the room they were in searching for any way they could escape. Jack was trying to figure out whether or not they could blow a hole through the door to escape and ignoring the part of brain telling him that a great big hole in the door would maybe raise suspicions. Clara was thoroughly searching the walls, floor and ceiling for any windows or trap doors that may be helpfully located to aid their breakout. And Me had given up on looking for anything and was trying to calculate just how long it would take them to dig their way to freedom with a spoon.
After a while of scanning the floor Clara spotted a small drain in the corner of the room. She pointed it out to the others and the three of them made their way over to it. Judging by the god awful stench emanating from the drain, they figured that it led to the sewers.
‘Right so who’s up for a wee swim?’ Said Clara enthusiastically, trying to make it seem like they were about to do something fun and not escape from prison via the sewage system.
‘Yes this is brilliant and all, but there is the minor setback of the fact that the drain seems relatively set in the ground’ Me sighed, annoyed that the day’s events were just getting more and more hopeless.
‘Wait I’ve got this’ Jack said excitedly, eyes lighting up rather menacingly as he pulled out a weird gun shaped item and aimed it at the drain ‘See, Captain Jack Harkness always solves the problem.’
‘And does he always cause the problem?’ Clara asked rolling her eyes at him.
Electing to ignore Clara’s entirely correct assumption, Jack aimed his blaster at the drain and blew a hole in it. They stood around the hole for a moment, no one wanting to be the first person to jump down into the sewer, looking at each other as if to say that someone else should jump first. Their moment of silence was suddenly very rudely interrupted by a wailing siren and a voice announcing that prisoners were trying to escape from the dungeon. God this place really had a flare for the dramatics. Deciding that there was no time to waste, all three of them jumped down into the sewers at the same time, landing in knee deep raw sewage. Jack aimed his gun back up at the hole he just created in the floor and suddenly the hole was seamlessly fixed.
‘What the hell is that thing and where can I get one?’ Me asked in awe of the amazing piece of technology in front of her.
‘It’s a sonic blaster and if you’re looking for one you should probably take a trip to the 51st century.’ Jack said smugly, very proud of the fact that he had finally done something that impressed Me.
‘Oh hey the Doctor has one of those,’ Clara said. ‘I’m sure I saw it in the TARDIS once.’
‘Yeah that was mine and he totally stole it from me. Thank fuck I had an emergency back up one.’
‘Guys as much as I would love to sit and discuss awesome technology with you, we are kind preoccupied right now’ said Me, reminding them that they were in fact in a sewer attempting to pull a Freddie Mercury and break free.
From above them they could hear aliens in the dungeon trying to figure out how they had possibly escaped and where they could have went. Carefully, the three of them crept along the sewer trying not to make any noise or trip over god knows what that was floating around in the murky water. They kept on walking until they could no longer hear the frantic shouting of aliens trying to locate the fugitives. By this point in time Clara reckoned that she had performed more impossible feats of escapology than Harry Houdini himself, with less dramatics and more running and hoping.
‘You know if we ever decide that time travelling isn’t for us we should really look into becoming escapologists’ she joked while giggling to herself.
Me and Jack both laugh quietly at the idea of it whilst shushing Clara just in case anyone heard them and decided to re-imprison them. After what seemed to be about an hour of trudging through the rank smelling brown watery sludge, they finally came across a set of ladders which led to what they could only hope was a man hole in the city somewhere. Being the shortest and most nimble of the three, Me climbed up the ladder and peered through the hole in the man hole cover to attempt to find out where they were. She couldn’t see anything apart from a couple of buildings and one or two aliens walking past so she guessed that they must have found a quieter part of the street they had originally landed on so she carefully pushed up the cover to the man hole and climbed out onto the mainly empty street, gesturing for Jack and Clara to follow her. After a while of Jack complaining that his coat now weighed roughly a metric tonne and that it made climbing out of a man hole almost impossible, the three of them emerged, admittedly very ungracefully, onto the street. They quickly made their way to the side of the nearest building in an attempt to attract as little attention as possible. They starting discussing which way was the best way to go to find the diner.
As they were arguing over whether they should walk back towards the busier part of the city and try to find it from there or to walk around the emptier streets until they found it they suddenly heard the sound of running and screaming that ‘the prisoners are over there!’
‘Oh shit.’ They all said in unison, before turning away from their pursuers and Usain Bolt-ing it away from them.
They ran through the streets like crazy until empty streets turned into the hustle and bustle of the city centre and their sprinting turned into frantic pushing and shoving and squeezing past. Thankfully, the massive crowd also slowed down the blob fish with legs that were chasing after them. Jack spotted the diner down a side street before either of the girls and he violently grabbed both of them before dragging them towards it praying that one of them had their key on them. Pushing the other two aside, key in hand, Me stood in front of the door and fumbled trying to quickly unlock the door. Just as the aliens reached the end of the side street the door to the diner flew open and all three of them ran inside before slamming the door on their chasers.
As much as all they wanted to do was to collapse onto the floor and catch their breath, they knew they had to take off before the diner was commandeered by the high court of whatever the fuck the planet was called. They rushed over to the control panel, Me and Clara pressing buttons and Jack flipping a massive switch, yelling ALLONSY!
As the diner took off, both girls turned to look at him questioningly, ‘Why do you always say that?’ they asked simultaneously.
‘The Doctor used to say it all the time. What he doesn’t say it anymore?’ he replied.
‘No. He used to say Geronimo a lot,’ Clara said laughing at the thought of the Doctor, ‘He just swears a lot and hits things these days. Now if you don’t mind, I stink of alien crap and I would quite like to get myself cleaned up’
The other two agreed whole heartedly.
As the three of them stumbled their way around the diner trying to find either a washing machine, a shower or a somewhat decent hose, Me and Clara imposed a new rule: Under no circumstances is Captain Jack Harkness allowed to twerk on unknown alien planets.
AN: Sorry I didn’t update yesterday. My friend came up for Avengers and chill and we may have gotten carried away talking about the utter beauty that is Tom Hiddleston and his snake hips. Anyways this took me so long to write it as I kind of suck at writing dramatic scenes. I had [Insert epic getaway scene here] on the page for about an hour so I hope that it doesn’t suck and you like it :D