If This Were A Movie
Come back, come back, come back to me like
You would before you said, "It's not that easy."
Before the fight, before I locked you out
But I take it all back now
“This is the final boarding call for all passengers.”
Watching intently, the next plane took off and was up in the air gliding its way higher and higher. It was mind blowing to imagine that humans have created technology to allow us to be free in the air.
It would be an adventure to soar through the air with no weights holding you down. The way the wind would whistle through your ears and engulf your entire being. For once in your life no weight would be on your shoulders with nothing on your mind.
Being on a plane or in an airport a sense of adventure filled the room. Every passenger was off to a destination writing their own story as there was something waiting for them when their feet touched the soft earth again. Stories were so magnificent because no one ever had the same. Without a doubt she was sure this story was one not heard.
What was their story though? A woman who came prancing in the middle of night to tell her to dance in the rain changed her whole momentum of her life. Becoming enamored with the unknown girl she found herself inspired and motivated. That stuff was just pure movie quality and now she was faced with this choice.
The universe clearly kept slapping in her in the face as their fates have entwined from their grandparents, to work, and now to their personal life. If Clarke ran somehow she knew she would meet Lexa again, it would be inevitable.
“Clarke.”
Looking up she saw the woman standing there in her usual business clothing. Those damn business clothing she was so attached to. It was almost mind boggling not see her in them.
There was hopefulness in those green eyes as the words rolled off her tongue. A desire was aching and there was no control over what she wanted. Clarke shut her eyes tight feeling her brain about to burst.
Lexa made her happy. She couldn’t think of a moment where she didn’t want to be with the woman, well after she found out she was Heda. Waiting day by day there was something more new and marvelous about the girl.
Smiling to herself, she knew she could pinpoint the moment where she started to fall completely in awe of this incredible woman. Lexa had played the piano with such passion and emotion she had understood now why Lexa related to her paintings.
Maybe it was pure coincidence it worked both ways. However, there was a sense of understanding towards the other’s emotions, especially the pain. For an unknown reason words were not a necessity for expression.
Every note was laced with an emptiness determined to fight through it. Just as Lexa claimed that her paintings were extremely relatable, Clarke couldn’t help but feel the same way of her music.
She wanted to beat herself up sometimes when she remembered that Heda and Lexa were the same person. So many times she wondered what would have happened if she left the studio a few minutes later. The choices we make are so impactful, the wrong one could leave you regretting your entire life.
Had she made the right choice?
“Lexa, I won’t run away. Not from us.”
She dropped her bags to the floor taking the other girl’s hands in hers. The words were all the clarification she needed as Lexa’s smile grew wide. It was those words Clarke needed to hear herself say.
She brought their lips together having been aching for them for so long. Lexa’s touch was sensational it was all she needed to drive her crazy. The brunette had wrapped her body close not wanting to let go, afraid she would lose her.
This was the right decision. Clarke was convinced of it. Lexa had her way of getting into that deep place no matter how much it scared her. She didn’t have to worry because she had Lexa now and that was all she needed.
Lexa pulled away cupping the girl’s face. A tear rolled down her cheek having felt something right clicked in her.
“Thank you Clarke.”
Just as Clarke went to press her lips against hers, Lexa had grabbed her by the shoulders and began to shake her worriedly.
“Clarke?”
The shaking continued as Clarke frantically looked into the worried eyes unable to open her mouth and communicate. She felt her throat thicken as her head became foggy. Lexa’s shaking was not helping as nauseous began to brew.
“Clarke!” Opening her eyes she saw the woman shaking her and felt a sigh of relief.
Her eyes scanned the brunette standing there not understanding what happen. Blinking a few more times her mind snapped back into reality quickly looking to hug her best friend.
There was nothing more she had missed than being in her best friend’s arm as she was embraced by them. Clarke was met with a tight smile of understanding and not wanting to push her for details.
Gratefully, Octavia knew her all too well picking up the bags to leave the airport. The nausea filled her stomach again remembering everything that had happened in that spot.
“Come on let’s go home.”
The beginning of the ride back was mostly met with silence through the rough airport traffic. Clarke spent her time on the phone texting and making numerous calls.
“You got tanned.” No response from the blonde.
The only focus Clarke had was trying to get to the person on the other line. Since she had walked out of that airport she felt herself walk in shame as if she was coming back home from a terrible night the next morning only this was much worse.
“She isn’t going to pick up.” Octavia spoke from the driver’s seat frustrated.
“Drop me off at her job.” Clarke demanded unable to keep her eyes off her phone. There was determination hoping she would get a response sooner rather than later, well maybe just any response.
Octavia sighed knowing the girl was in denial. This was all sorts of fucked. After Clarke had called her one evening telling her of past events she felt her body tense with anger at her friend. Stupidity was her middle name.
“Come home Clarke. Raven has a surprise for you.” Her attempt to be civil only could go so far.
“I’m not in the mood for one.” She tried to reason with the girl hoping to get her mind off of it but she was not going to deal with rudeness.
“Cut the crap Clarke. You know I don’t put up with bullshit. We aren’t going to her job and that’s final.”
Getting angry at the girl Clarke whipped her body towards her away from the phone.
“Pull the car over then.”
“No.” She gripped her hands tighter on the wheel letting her anger flow into it.
“Fucking shit Octavia. Pull this goddamn car over before I jump out of it!”
Octavia locked the door as she pulled over to the side of the road just as Clarke went to reach for the handle.
“Octavia!”
“Shut the fuck up Clarke!” Another attempt was made by the girl but Octavia was stronger and held her grip on her arm pulling her back into the car. When the blonde whipped to face her, the blue eyes were glassy.
Shame. Guilt. Humiliation. Disgrace. Regret. The list could go on of all the emotions plastered on her face. Her friend had done what she does best, put up walls. For once she had something really working for her but she flushed it down the toilet and there was almost no way of getting it back.
It took one look, the first real look Octavia had seen in a year from Clarke to break down. She found herself crying in her arms.
“I fucked up Octavia.” Clarke mumbled into her shirt. Rubbing her back there was nothing she could say or do to take the pain away.
The ride back was solemn as Clarke had finally given up on the phone. Octavia was right about that surprise because as they walked into the apartment she was bombarded with a ball of fluff.
The fluff ball began to bark insanely as he greeted the new face to him.
“A dog!?” Clarke screamed as he jumped excessively.
“Meet my new companion, Cado. He is a pomsky!” Raven gleamed with pride.
“He is a service dog.” Octavia whispered in her ear as she entered the room.
“Good boyyy.” Clarke chime petting the very hyper boy.
“Sit.” Cado happily obeyed which allowed Raven to tightly hug her friend.
After settling back in the girls ordered pizza and drank a few beers. They all caught up on the past year but things didn't go so well when Clarke asked about her building.
“How's the urgent care?”
Octavia looked down afraid to answer the question as Raven turned her head towards the dog. Was he eating her shoes? No wait that’s Clarke’s shoe. She probably should stop him but he looked like he was having so much fun.
“Hello?”
“You tell her.” Raven mumbled a little too loudly.
“Hell no I had to deal with her in the car.”
“What’s going on?” Confusion set in the blonde as she watched the girls bicker over telling her some news.
“Rock paper scissors?”
“Best 2 out of 3.”
The girls competed while Clarke provided them with a death stare and crossed arms. Obviously something was up but it couldn’t be that serious. After all if things had gone to shit they would have called her. Right?
“Fuck.” Raven had lost and was now the bearer of bad news.
“Uh Clarke, someone bought out the urgent care.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Well you see um LexaBoughtTheRightsToYourBuisnessWhichAllowedHerToBuyTheBuilding.”
“WHAT!?”
Having somehow understood every word in one breathe she had said Clarke was now up on her feet. Clutching to her chest there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she was about to have a heart attack.
“Clarke?” Octavia stepped forward to her friend who fell back onto the couch trying to find her breath. Everything and anything was running through Clarke’s head. She couldn’t understand what was happening right now. If her father knew what was going on he would kill her.
Her fingers comb through her hair having lost one of her family's biggest prize possession. Where was her mother throughout this?
“I don’t understand? You know how much that building means to me and my family! How could you let her do this?” Clarke stood up pushing Octavia at the shoulders.
No response. Octavia kept a straight unmoving face taking somewhat of a beating.
“Why didn’t you stop her?”
Pushing her again she felt the blood rise inside her with another cry of words.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Another push. She had entrusted her best friend to take care of her prized possession while she was gone. She was supposed to protect it with her life.
“You left Clarke!”
Octavia retaliated now as she stepped closer towards the girl.
“How could YOU do this to her?” Octavia delivered her first push sending Clarke back in the direction she came from.
“She was fucking hurt and seeked vengeance for the heart YOU shattered!”
Another push back as Clarke took them without fight, rightfully deserving them.
“Don’t blame me or Raven or Lexa for any of this! You fucked up. This was your fault Clarke. This one is on you.”
The words lingered in the air as no one understood what was going on Storming the living room, Octavia left full of anger at her friend. Raven quickly left the paperwork on the table following Octavia into the room.
She stood as a bystander knowing Octavia had meant every word. Cado followed suit and the door to the room was slammed shut causing Clarke to flinch.
Trying to put everything in the back of her mind she began to read the new contract.
Nothing made sense anymore. This was not how it was supposed to happen. Clarke knew she messed up but now she had to pay the price.
Thinking back to the night in the airport Lexa gave everything she could to get Clarke to stay.
No one would know that this strong hard woman would crumble for the blonde. Now Clarke was going to be met with as Raven called ‘Bitch Lexa’.
She was doing what was best for her company but she also knew how much Clarke would hurt over this. If Lexa swung hard before she was going to come swinging ten times harder now.
The girl tried her cell phone again. No response. There was a possibility that maybe she was out of the country but she was sure she was just ignoring her.
Wait! Clarke thought she finally found a loophole in the contract. Reading through the clause again pencil gripping tight her eyes feverishly scanned the page.
“Thought about it too but you waived your rights when you didn't attended the meeting.”
Clarke looked up having to blink a few times to see who was standing there.
“Octavia I'm so sorry.”
Clarke stood up to embrace her friend in a hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes unspokenly apologizing and forgiving the other for their actions.
“I've read through it so many times Clarke. I tried so hard to get it back, I even had my boss check it.”
Clarke placed the contract on her table feeling her body relax into the couch. Octavia sat across with a stern but sorrowful look in her eyes.
“I'll never understand why I didn't stay.”
“I do and so do you.”
“I know Finn-”
“It's not about Finn.” Sighing from her side she wished Clarke wasn't so blind to her emotions. It could make her a stronger person if she tried to realize she wasn't made out of stone.
“You have to fight for her now. Forget the building right now. It won't go anywhere. You aren't the person I thought you are if you don't do this.”
Standing up the girl rewrapped herself in her robe. “It's three in the morning. Let's go to bed.”
Rubbing her eyes Clarke followed having not realized she spent six hours picking apart the contract.
Nodding her head she reluctantly went to bed as millions of thoughts of Lexa clouded her mind.
-------
“A hot macchiato half carmel, half mocha no whipped cream but extra foam and an extra shot of espresso with a dash of cinnamon and a black coffee.”
Digging in her bag she pulled out her wallet to pay for the coffees. It was still early in the morning and the girl had no idea if she would be here. This was probably the worst idea she had but she couldn’t think of anything else.
Her business would always be there but the girl wouldn’t and so she had to fight for the right thing. At least that was what Octavia had been pounding in her head for hours.
The town car pulled up feeling the anticipation build inside. As the door opened the heels that collided with the sidewalk were not the ones she hoped for.
She waited for another pair to follow but the door was slammed shut.
When the woman made eye contact with her she rolled her eyes as continued towards the entrance.
“Anya!” Clarke called out but she didn't respond keeping her focus on the door.
Entering the building she followed suit trying to get the woman's attention.
“Anya. Anya. Anya.” Walking through the lobby she prayed the girl would turn around but she would not shut up. Turning right before the turnstile to the woman she gave the girl the deadliest look.
“I need to talk to her.”
“She isn't here.”
“I know you two are always together. Please.”
“You think coffee is going to fix this?” Anya was always straight up and lately she had enough of Clarke's crap.
“Let me explain myself.”
“I don't want to hear it.”
“Let me see Lexa then.”
“I'm serious Clarke she isn't here. She moved back to Florida where our headquarters are.”
“Could you just-”
“Stay away. Lexa doesn't want to see you, you made your decision and so has she.”
Shrugging her shoulders Anya decided to grasp the coffees and take it upstairs. With that Anya left the girl in the lobby as her heels clicked her away.
Sighing in frustration she had no idea what she was going to do. A time machine could be really useful right now.
-----
Come back, come back, come back to me like
You could, you could if you just said you're sorry
I know that we could work it out somehow
But if this was a movie you'd be here by now
“The Trigedakru festival is coming up Ms. Woods.”
Last year was not as ideal as she hoped. She made it to the summer festival but this was not one she wanted to attend. Lexa had almost killed a man and though their culture allowed it, the American law was not as understanding.
There was duty that needed to be filled and she knew she would have to fly to New York soon. She avoided it like the plague so much that she flew to Newark airport in Jersey if she had to.
How could she be mad at Clarke when she knew she would have done the same thing. Work always came first, it was just how they were built. Personal desires always took a back seat in their lives and now it was biting them in the ass.
She felt so stupid she gave an ultimatum but this time didn't hurt as bad as the last time she fell into oblivion.
The situation was not her fault, she tried to convince herself of this so much. Had she been wrong in believing they had a chance?
“Ms. Woods?”
Oh yeah that's right, she is Alexandria Woods. Happiness just wasn't in her cards. Her name just sounded ugly now as it felt branded with misery.
“Yes book my flight to Newark day of.” Unfortunately she still had responsibility though she did miss her city.
Indra had left the room now leaving her to scan over the presentation for next week's meeting.
Lexa felt it was best Anya took over the New York quarters as she took her next assistant to help her here. Of course she missed her sister dearly but sacrifices had to be made.
Anya deserved the position and there was no one else she would feel more comfortable with. Trust was so important in a business and luckily for her she had her sister.
It worsened though when Lexa demanded Lincoln to move with her. She wanted him to be her new detailed bodyguard but the problem came in the form of an Octavia.
It meant he would have to move away from her something neither were fond about. Lexa promised him more days off to make the deal more intriguing.
Lincoln spent so many hours fighting with Lexa to reveal their relations but she held her ground. Reluctantly he caved in leaving an angry and confused Octavia at home as they tried a the long distance relationship.
The younger one was convinced she had it out for but the truth was she needed her family. With Anya staying in New York she needed stability in Miami.
Her phone rang again for the hundredth time today.
Clarke
Lexa knew the year was up, mostly due to the fact she had been counting down the days herself. Having been good at avoiding her calls she reluctantly picked up the phone. She read through their old messages hoping for some comfort, maybe a better understanding.
Clarke: No you can’t be serious
Lexa: I was just as disappointed
Clarke: How is that possible?
Lexa: The naked eye does not have the necessary color cones. So we mostly see it in white and grey
Clarke: Thank you for that dork
Lexa: It'll cost you for information like that
Clarke: It's on my bucket list
Lexa: Paying me for valuable information
Clarke: Haha no, to see the Northern lights
Lexa: Why?
Clarke: After my father passed I wanted to make sure I lived and not just went through it because I had to. So I started writing down things I want to do
Lexa: Have you done any?
Clarke: Yup. Meeting a famous person.
Lexa: Who was that?
Clarke: You, you dummy!
Was there anyway she could go back to being Heda? Clarke really liked her, even Lexa liked her more. There was no expectations of Heda not like the demanding ones she had now.
What was worse was that all Clarke had to do was come home again and say sorry. Lexa knew she would cave in eventually but she couldn't help but be selfish for once.
If this were a movie Clarke would already be here by now. There would be no more waiting and there would be a happy ending. That was all Lexa really desired, a happy ending just like everyone else she was no exception.
Shutting off her phone Lexa knew no work was going to get done today so she decided to call it a night.
Paging her driver, she let Indra know she was done for the evening and to have food be sent to her house.
“Lexa.”
Upon hearing her name her head shot up to look at the door. She was surprised someone had used her her first name as no one in the office did.
What shocked her even more was the woman standing in front of her. Everything in her hand fell to the floor feeling her whole body shake.
“C-Costia?”