First to Fall

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Definitely.” Lapis parked her car outside the facility where her mother, Blue Diamond resided. “I made a promise I would visit her more often. And besides,” Lapis grazed Peridot’s cheek, “we’ve dated for over seven months already. I won’t be able to hide someone like you forever from her.”

This would mark as the second time Peridot would get to see Blue Diamond, this time fully conscious. “Are you sure she will be alright with, you know, us dating?”

“My mom’s always been more open minded. The mom I know shouldn’t care.”

Peridot hoped that would be the case.

Walking into the facility, Lapis went before Peridot up to the counter, where the receptionist was working. “Hi, I’m here to visit a family member during open hours.”

“What’s your family member’s name?”

“Blue Diamond.”

“I’ll tell staff to let her know you’re here. If you both could just sign here in the visitor book first, as well as on your way out, that would be wonderful.”

The blonde almost did not hear those words. She was too distracted by the bouquet of fake flowers on the counter, and making a positive impression in front of Blue Diamond. What would she think of her? She was dressed nicer than usual, though she kept her hair the same. On top of that, she and Lapis bought chocolate truffles for her. Chocolate always put people on a positive note, right?

It was going to be okay. No longer having any immediate family members, it was all more important to make sure Blue Diamond liked her. Peridot wished she was not an only child to begin with. If she had a father or siblings in her life, she would actually have family to share with her girlfriend. But no family was perfect, and Lapis definitely understood that.

“Are you okay,” Lapis looked over, holding Peridot’s hand.

“I’m fine,” she cleared her throat. “Though I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a tad nervous.”

“It will be fine. If I like you, she will have to as well. And like I said before, I’ve known her to have an open mind about these kinds of things. And if she hates you, the reason won’t be the fact you’re dating me.”

“Thanks for putting me at ease,” the shorter girl said sarcastically. But Lapis’ reaffirming words did help.

A staff member came for them, checking over their unwrapped gift of chocolates before Lapis’ leather messenger bag. “I have to make sure there’s nothing else in here,” the lady told them. “For the patient’s safety. Its standard protocol with any gift. I must add that any food brought to a patient must be consumed during the duration of the visit.”

“No worries, I’m glad you do,” responded Lapis.

“Blue Diamond’s awake and doing better this past month in particular. Lately she has taken to reading much more than usual. Alternatively reading out loud seems to help calm her, if her anxiety appears,” the staff member informed them.

“That’s good to hear. This facility really seems to take care of their patients,” Lapis relayed back, massaging her chin with her hand.

“We do our very best around here. If you follow me, the common room is in this direction. She should be waiting there.”

Walking down the wide hallway, Peridot could already tell this place was much cleaner than the one Blue Diamond used to reside at. Although, there was something about the building that made her mildly uncomfortable. It had nothing to do with how the hospital’s interior was decorated. Rather it stemmed from an internal feeling, with no rhyme or reason as to why. Perhaps it was her subconscious picking up some small detail. It was silly, really, when being in hospitals made her uneasy anyway.  

What was Lapis feeling anyway? Looking at her face, Peridot could not interpret. Her girlfriend’s facial features were expressionless.

Did Lapis really believe her mom would approve of them dating? Though Peridot wanted to hope for the positive outcome, she was seriously doubting what her girlfriend said was true.

The door opened to one of the common rooms, and the staff worker walked in first before leaving. “Blue Diamond, you have visitors.”

Lapis walked in front of Peridot, and directly to her mom who was lounging on the sofa with a book.

“It’s great to see you again,” Lapis took her mother’s hand. “You look good.”

“Oh stop lying,” Peridot could not tell if her mother was being sarcastic. It must run in the family. “I look just alright. Is everything going well for you?”

Lapis nodded. “Classes have started up again, and now there is summer break far in the future to look forward to,” she sighed. “I should tell you I’m looking for a new job. The bartending job just wasn’t meshing well with school.” Peridot knew that was not the reason behind why Lapis quit. But Lapis had told the blonde before, that her mother did not know the details of her job. Only that she was a bartender and worked very late.

“That’s too bad, I know you’ll find something just as exciting.”

Yeah, exciting.

“And who is your friend?” Blue Diamond turned her head to make eye contact with Peridot.

“Mom,” Lapis sandwiched her mother’s hands with her own. “This is Peridot. And, well, she’s my girlfriend.”

The smile, if she would even call it that, dropped from Blue Diamond’s face. “Girlfriend you say.”

Peridot knew this would happen, that Blue Diamond would not approve. She totally called it in her mind, when her girlfriend said otherwise. She could feel her forehead become warm with nervousness.

“Hi, I’m glad to finally meet you,” Peridot stuck out her hand. The least she could do was be cordial on her end, though she was low-key terrified.

“Lapis,” Blue Diamond completely ignored the blonde. “Why did you bring her?”

“Well, she’s a big part of my life and though it would be fun if you two could finally meet.”

“Finally meet,” the older woman was processing everything with a blank stare. “You mean to say you’ve been dating for a while?”

“Um around six or seven months so far, has it really been that long?” She looked nervously over to Peridot for confirmation. Clearly the blue haired girl did not see this coming, and was trying to play it casual. In any other situation it would have worked.

“So you are attracted to women then.”

“I suppose that’s why Peridot and I are dating.”

“Let me ask you again,” Blue Diamond’s voice was shaking, “why did you bring her here to meet me?”

“I want to be open with you, so you could feel more involved in my life,” Lapis muttered softly. “I know that it must be weird to be living here, and for me to be gone all the time.”

But Blue Diamond’s older face turned pale. “You’re no different than her,” she whispered, “like Malachite.”

Even though they were not even looking at each other, Peridot could feel a wide range of emotions radiating off Lapis. Arms wrapped tightly around her own waist, Lapis was taken aback.

“What do you mean?” The blue haired girl said, too horrified by that comment to be sad or angry. Peridot could not even imagine being compared to a person that abused you.

“That faggot was going out and hooking up with a new girl right and left. Look at what gays and lesbians did to her!” Blue Diamond croaked. “They brought her down that path, and that’s how she became an addict in the first place. That’s what homosexuality is. A dirty addiction, an illness, which destroyed our family. You have to see the direct correlation, it’s dead obvious. You always made better decisions than Malachite, and a nicer person than she was. I never imagined you would choose to go down that same route, and behind my back of all things.”

Lapis remained silent, and Peridot did not dare touch her.

She must be aware her mom is not in her right mind, and is seriously mentally ill, right? She must understand that. She had to.

Little did she know herself, Peridot was allowing her own emotions to rile up inside.

“And now you’re telling me you’re dating this blonde whore,” Blue Diamond spat.

That was the tipping point for Lapis. 

“Don’t you dare call my girlfriend that ever again,” Lapis raised her voice, pointing an intimidating finger at her mother, sitting straight up now on the sofa.

Tightly pursing her lips, every angry wrinkle could be seen on Blue Diamond’s face. “I will call her what I want, if it’s true.”

Lapis continued assertively, “She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Peridot is kind, smart, generous, and cares about people a lot. You would know that, if you were open to giving her a chance. And you better not bring Malachite into this, because my personal relationships have nothing to do with her at all. Malachite hurt me just as much as she hurt you, mom. She deeply hurt many people.”

“This has everything to do with Malachite. I know what she was doing to you, and it was disgusting. No daughter of mine who’s sexually attracted to other women and into drugs is really my daughter.”

Hands partially covering her face, Lapis wiped tears from under her lids. “You… knew and you didn’t do anything?” The blue haired girl said weakly.

“I knew and…”

“Shut up!” Lapis yelled. It was the first time Peridot had heard Lapis yell like that, ever. Frankly it was terrifying. “No mother would ever let their child endure something like that! Why? Why didn’t you do anything?”

Peridot desperately wanted to hold on to Lapis, to let her cry on her shoulder. As she watched, the blonde did not realize her own eyes watering.

“No, I can’t accept this.” Lapis caught herself, let down her arms, stood up straighter. “Mother’s don’t stand by and watch their children be abused.”

“If you don’t break up with her now in front of me, I no longer have a daughter.” Blue Diamond looked enraged, sad, and vacant all at the same time. There was no word to describe her appearance besides “given up.”

Lapis looked at the floor, shutting her eyes and waiting a few moments. Was she truly considering breaking up with her?

“Then there’s no point in me visiting if you don’t want me. I won’t bother you again.” Without saying another word, the taller girl reached for Peridot’s hand, and walked them both out of the room.

“Wait just a second, don’t you think about leav-,” the door to the common room shut, and two staff members rushed in responding to the screaming, shortly after Lapis and Peridot exited the building.