Safe
“Everything is so green!”
With windows rolled down, they were driving in Peridot’s car around the rolling bluffs. There was a sudden burst of rain the night before, flooding the dryland. Reacting desperately, the plants perked up and the foliage around them turned green. Peridot could not remember the last time she saw Beach City this green, though even compared to back east, it was nowhere near the same par. The smell of last night’s shower engulfed them inside the car, overwhelming their senses. It smelled fresh and clear.
Lapis was sticking her head out the window, as Peridot drove along the two lane road. They were the only car on the road. Her blue hair ruffled in the wind, blowing in all sorts of different directions. The sun beaming down through the clouds landed tenderly on her face, giving her usually tanned skin a soft, bright glow.
Today was a good day.
And it was going to become an even better day.
The highway turned into city streets, and they drove through a little beach town on the outskirts of Beach City. Most of the houses looked like old shacks, with classic beach decoration like stylized old surfboards and plastic flamingos. Many of these houses had motorcycles and small scooters parked in the lots.
Making a turn left, they went up the hill through a nicer, built up neighborhood. They drove along the street until it turned into a dead end and turned into a parking lot for a trail. They were near the top of the short mountain, and had a crystal clear view down of the beach, which was no more than a mile or two out.
Peridot picked this hike specifically, because it was supposed to have a great view. It was given the name “the highest point in the world,” though it was only in nickname. Checking online before leaving, the area had several trails along the bluffs, and to the top of the small mountain. The blonde could not remember the last time she ever went hiking, but Lapis mentioned a few days before how she loved doing things outdoors, especially near the beach.
They parked the car in the half filled lot, and she pulled the lever to pop the back trunk. Lapis wore extremely short navy shorts and a white, tight tank-top. Her electric blue sports bra showed through underneath. Around her neck, she wore a vintage choker which seemed to come back in style around campus.
Peridot just had on a homemade muscle tee, where she cut off the sleeves of her shirt from shoulder to waist. She had on running shorts, knee socks and running shoes, and put her hair partially up. At home she hesitated whether to put on her makeup, but decided to anyway.
She was going to ask Lapis to become her girlfriend.
After hanging out with Jasper, she contemplated for a long time whether or not it was a good idea at all. They both needed to make a choice, since they were seeing each other almost every day and over a month had passed. Was she in fact still holding on to her past, and Rainbow Quartz’s disappearance? She used to be in love with her, yes, but it was way back in high school. What she felt then was real, and could vaguely remember the high of butterflies she got whenever they hung out. But was that feeling how she defined love? She felt that same way about Lapis, though it did not happen nearly as much, there was something added to that feeling. It was deeper than just the quick, temporary flutter, but a genuine desire to be there for her. And rather than that feeling being brushed off, like with Rainbow, it was reciprocated with Lapis. This feeling, whatever it was, was not just one sided. It was familiar, yet dissimilar. With Rainbow, Peridot deep down always knew a romantic relationship would never work. But with Lapis, as much as she hesitated, inside she knew it would.
As they walked up the narrow trail along a cliff’s edge, Lapis talked to the blonde about her work. She would share with Peridot all the details of what it’s like to work at a club, as well as the horror stories. Peridot was very much entertained with those, and hearing how Lapis handled all kinds of awkward situations. The blue haired girl sure knew how to tell an engaging story.
“Right now trying to juggle both school and work is starting to tire me out. Perhaps it’s the kind of work I do, running around all the time, sometimes not able to even take breaks. But still, it’s not like I could just quit.”
“Why don’t you find a different job, one that’s more sedentary? Would that be easier?”
“Well, it would call for me to work in the day and conflict with classes. That was one big reason why I applied for this job, because I would have long hours without having to battle with my school schedule. There’s always fast food… but I need something which pays a little more than minimum wage. And usually fast food chains force their employees to refuse tips, if their lucky enough to even get a tip. And frankly, I never have enough time to invest in applying to other jobs.”
“I admire how you work so hard.”
“I have to.”
“But do you really need to?” Peridot continued. “You mentioned you had school and housing covered, that you did not really need to work. You don’t have to stress yourself out, if you’re getting to that point.”
Lapis sighed. She looked down at the dirt path, with sad eyes. “I have to.”
The blonde hesitated slightly, “Is it okay if I ask why?”
“I suppose you can call it my way of feeling independent, sort of a pride thing really,” she laughed, but Peridot felt there was more to it than just that. “I’ve always been working ever since middle school, so it would feel really weird if I decided to just stop during college.”
“Since middle school? How does that even happen?”
“Connections,” Lapis turned her head to look at Peridot and winked.
“I can relate, I started working my freshman year of high school.” Peridot wanted to stop there, and hoped Lapis would change the subject. She did not.
“What did you do?”
“Um well it’s a long story really.”
“We’ve got time.”
“It was not very interesting work…”
“Please?” She eagerly batted her eyes flirtatiously.
“Well, I guess… How do I begin,” Peridot rubbed her forehead and averted her eyes. “So,” the blonde prolonged the word, “you know how my last name is Diamond?”
“Yeah we talked about it before, how it’s also my mom’s maiden name and went back to it after my dad left.”
“It’s a pretty uncommon last name, and growing up people always compared my last name to the company.”
“Diamond?”
“Yeah. Anyway, like you I grew up in a wealthier home, over on the east coast. But it wasn’t a normal growing up experience. I… ugh I don’t know how to explain it without it sounding like a complete lie!” Peridot said frustrated.
“It’s okay Peridot, you don’t have to say it,” she sounded disappointed.
“No, no, it’s just… my first job was at Diamond as a software engineer, because my mom is the CEO.”
“You’re kidding!” Lapis laughed but when she saw Peridot’s face, it changed. “You’re not kidding. Are you serious? That’s like saying your mom invented the lightbulb!”
“I know,” The blonde covered her eyes with her hands. “I didn’t want anyone to know, because I don’t want to be seen as just that; the daughter of the CEO of Diamond, everywhere I go. I’m tired of being associated with my mom, and trust me, she’s not a nice person.” She covered her mouth in shock of what she just said. “I’m sorry, I said too much! I just didn’t want to hold it from you any longer. You don’t know what it’s like, I-”
“No,” Lapis took Peridot’s hand, and pulled her close, faces just inches apart.
“Lapis…”
“I knew you were holding something in, and that wasn’t easy for you,” she was not whispering but her face was so proximate to her own, it felt like she was. “It means a lot that you told me.” Did Lapis know how fast Peridot’s chest was beating? It’s like the violet eyed girl had a sixth sense for this sort of thing.
She moved away, and Peridot felt air come back into her lungs. Every single time Lapis pulled one of those moves, the blond would pathetically keel from it. A mirror was not needed for her to know that she was positively red in the face.
“Do your friends know?”
“No.”
“Does anyone?”
“Back where I grew up, people in high school and at work knew. You could say I was sort of treated differently there. Life was different, but that’s all in the past now. I like my life here, right now. It’s not a big part of my life anymore,” Peridot brushed it off.
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I would’ve believed you, and wouldn’t have saw you any differently than I do now.”
“I… I don’t know,” the blonde heavily sighed. “I say it’s no big deal, but I still think about it. I wanted to tell you earlier, but didn’t know how. It’s not exactly the easiest thing to explain. I admit I was afraid you would see me differently. It sounds weird, but I wanted to be seen as just a regular person, whatever regular is. Without my famous mom around, I can take advantage of starting fresh here on my own. As you can imagine, my mom surveilled me a lot.”
“No kidding. Do I even want to know?”
“Yes and no.”
Lapis nodded, “Well I definitely do. But you already know that. So are you going to tell me the rest?”
“The rest?” Peridot’s voice slightly cracked. “The rest of what?”
“Your story,” the taller girl said eagerly. “You know, you’re so mysterious.”
What did Lapis Lazuli even mean by “mysterious?” Peridot’s mind scanned through all the definitions of the word and ways it could be interpreted, but realized after a few seconds in thought she was contemplating too much.
Backfiring the comment, “So are you,” the blonde massaged the back of her neck. “We spend so much time together, and well, there’s so much I still don’t know about you.” She quickly added with frantic hand waving, “But that’s not a bad thing! I just, want to understand you better, where you come from.”
“I don’t know where to start myself, honestly. I can relate to you, in a different way.” Was Lapis finally going to open up? If she sensed that Peridot was keeping something from her, then her own wonderings might not be too far off. “It’s a bit of a story.”
“We have time right now, nobody’s around.”
“May I tell you tomorrow?” Lapis asked. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you about it, I really do. There’s just a lot to explain, things that you deserve to know about my life. And it’s such a beautiful day hiking with you so far, and I’d rather not put a damper on things. Is that alright with you?” She sounded so sincere and slightly apologetic, making the blonde feel guilty for even pressing the subject. Of course, Lapis urged her on about her own history. But she ended up not going into specifics. If Lapis felt comfortable sharing about her own life, then Peridot had to be on the same page. Though she wanted to tell Lapis more, she also needed to know for certain Lapis felt equally as safe. Now the blue haired girl presented Peridot with an “okay,” that she one hundred percent trusted her. She hoped. She did not want to move things too fast, not knowing what “fast” was in the first place. And ironically, today she was going to ask Lapis to officially go steady.”
“Whatever you’re okay with.”
They reached the top five minutes later, and the view did not disappoint.
“Amazing,” she said almost in a whisper.
But Peridot’s eyes were not fixed on the landscape, instead at Lapis’ figure. The blue haired girl gazed down at the world around them with a pure fascination.
“Amazing is right.”
It was just them at the top. They had passed by a few parties and a hiking group, but the trail remained pretty empty for such a lovely day. There was also a summer festival happening downtown, so perhaps that was where everyone was. Beach City was all about their festivals.
She was beautiful. Her face shone with awe while absorbing the sight of the world below. The way Lapis expressed emotion was entirely different from how Peridot conveyed it. First of all, Lapis was never afraid to. If she was happy or upset, it was evident, at least to the blonde. Peridot could only wish she was more comfortable with her feelings. She was gentle, never forcing Peridot to do anything, apart from her occasional pranks like pulling her into a pool. Every word which she spoke was as smooth as glass. But like glass, she could also crack. And when she did, Peridot wanted to be there for her regardless. Lapis was enigmatic, alluring, surprising, with also a very kind heart. She was a siren, and Peridot was ready to drown with her.
“Lapis,” Peridot reached for her hand from behind, weaving their fingers together. “I’ve wanted to ask you for some time now.” Lapis did not say anything, but listened while gazing into Peridot’s bright green eyes. “We’ve been dating for some time now, and I was curious to see where you think this is going.”
“You know I’m not dating anyone else.”
“I’m not either.”
“I still want to date you, but I understand if this is the end.”
“Wait,” the blonde let that sink in. “The end? No, I’m not ending anything!” Peridot’s voice gave an embarrassing crack, and she covered her mouth quickly with both hands. “Why would you even think that?”
“You sounded just so formal, I wasn’t sure if you were breaking it off. Maybe it’s a total misinterpretation, but you squeam a little every time we just hold hands. I’m not sure if it’s because of me, if my palms were sweaty, or if you’re just uncomfortable with it. We haven’t even kissed yet, and we’ve been dating for almost a month and a half.”
“You want to kiss me?”
“Of course I want to kiss you. I have since the day we met. But I don’t want to push anything with you, so I’ve refrained,” she chuckled. “I’m super attracted to you, I thought you knew that.”
“I did… I do, I-,” what could she say in her defense? Nothing. There was no reason to be defensive, after all it was miscommunication. Clearing her throat, Peridot restarted, “I’m sorry Lapis, and thanks for telling me.”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“But I do. Since I met you, I’ve wanted to kiss you, not just be your friend. I want that so much. You are so much better with expressing emotion than I am, like stating how you’re feeling and if something annoys you. That’s not my forte. And now I realize this whole time, it was all misperception. We’ve never really talked about it at all, but I want to. No way in hell are you gross. If anyone is the gross one, I am. You always smell wonderful, and look gorgeous 24/7. I’m not uncomfortable with you at all. You’re one of the only people I do feel totally comfortable with. It’s more that I’m not comfortable with myself. I’m afraid I’ll come off as a complete nerd or do something embarrassing in front of you.”
“Why do you even think that? It’s adorable! It’s part of what makes you you. And so what if you’re into more nerdy things, so am I! It’s nice to be with someone who has similar interests. You always seem so grounded in yourself, and that’s something I love about you.
“So I’m not a complete embarrassment to you?”
“Peridot, no!”
Peridot sighed. “Sorry.”
“And you don’t need to apologize all the time. You’re doing nothing wrong,” Lapis said kindly, pulling closer.
“So… where do we go from here?” Peridot followed the blue haired girl’s lead. Performing a huge leap, the shorter girl wrapped her arms around Lapis’ skinny waist, taking initiative to press their bodies together. Now they were seeing eye-to-eye.
“How about you kiss me first, and we’ll find out afterwards?”
Peridot was redder than a firetruck now. She nodded, and when Lapis leaned in, she closed her eyes.
Even though she was aware of every moment, Lapis’ lips on her own came as a surprise. She did not expect kissing to feel this way, though she could not imagine beforehand what it actually felt like. Though her slips were soft Lapis kissed in an entirely confident way, though slowly. Everything around the blonde was melting. Mind going numb, Peridot did not stop after a minute, influenced by some suppressed, unknown, primal instinct to keep going. This was her first kiss with a girl, but it felt more than natural. It felt right. It felt safe.
The blue haired girl had small lips, but sure knew how to use them. Same went with her hands. They trailed up and down Peridot’s back, teasing her. Enticing her more than she would like to admit. Every movement was so loving and so sure. There was no possible way Peridot could be Lapis’ first kiss. The taller girl reeked of experience.
A small part inside Peridot’s head screamed out, that she was too inexperienced for her, that Lapis would soon realize the blonde was not yet on her level. And leave. But for once, the shorter girl pushed those anxious thoughts aside. They were not true. Lapis said it herself, that she was attracted to Peridot. The fact that they were still dating and that she had not left was enough proof.
Lapis was the one who broke the kiss. “Woah,” she breathed.
“Woah is right.”
“So,” she said rather flirtatiously, “where do you want to go from here.”
“Forward, preferably. Lapis, would you be my girlfriend?”
Her face radiated beautifully with joy. “Of course!”
Not losing their grip on each other they kissed again, this time with more assurance. She really could get used to this. Kissing Lapis was more addictive than any hard liquor Amethyst attempted to pour down her throat, though she was nowhere near being an alcoholic. She tasted as sweet as she smelled, and the scent of plumerias engulfed her thoughts.
They were so firmly pressed together, Peridot could feel Lapis’ phone go off in her pack. But it did not stop ringing after the first and then second missed calls.
“Perfect timing,” Lapis said sarcastically as she reached inside of her pack. Fishing for her phone, she pulled it out, and checked to see who had rudely interrupted their moment. When she saw the caller ID on the third call, Lapis’ face dropped, and Peridot automatically knew something was wrong.
“I have to get this,” Lapis told her apologetically, and answered.
They were in for a long day.