Both Of Me
Lucina had her quirks, but she was just like most other teenagers in terms of being quite frisky and occasionally unbearably horny. That being said, usually, when she had the chance to invite Severa over and have time alone, the time was taken.
Every now and then, though, she would tell Severa that her parents or brother were home, or that she was hanging out with her cousin, when in reality, she was home alone. That was the case when her parents went to her brother Inigo’s dance recital and she told them that she had a ton of studying to do.
That was the farthest thing from her mind.
As soon as the door shut and she heard the car pull off, Lucina dashed into her room and undressed, rifling through her nightstand’s drawer to find the mask that her brother’s friend had given her as a birthday gift. Her next stop was the bathroom, tying back her hair. It was still a little visible, but that would be fixed soon. She pulled the mask down a little so that she could see.
Lucina went into her brother’s room, feeling along the top of the door and grabbing the key that he kept hidden up there. After breaking in, she went over to his dresser and began gently shifting things around, making a mental note of where everything was. Lucina found a long-sleeved plaid shirt; it was burgundy, blue, and purple. Lucina nodded, took it out, and digged some more, snatching up a cranberry colored vest. Lucina grabbed some of his jeans and loafers, then went back to her room and began dressing herself.
Lucina had made it a ritual, waiting until everyone was gone to steal some of her brother’s clothes and dress herself in them. When she started in her eighth grade year, she wasn’t sure why; then, it became clear that there was something that wasn’t aligned in her head.
Sometimes, she felt comfortable with how she looked, but other times, she wanted to escape from her stupid body and become someone else. At first, she called that part of herself “Luke”, but when she heard the name of one of her ancestors mentioned, she fell in love with it: “Marth”. When Lucina wasn’t Marth, she didn’t really think about it. However, when she was Marth, all she could do was think about how much she wished she didn’t have to be Lucina all the time.
She wished she could talk about it to someone, wished she could find someone who could tell her what those feelings meant. But she had nobody. She wanted to tell the Geography Club, but it would inevitably get back to Severa, and that wouldn’t be good. Severa was adamant in her hatred of the opposite sex, baring her fangs at every boy who dared to hit on her. If Lucina told her about the confusion she was feeling, then Severa would surely leave her, and Lucina wouldn’t be able to handle it.
Lucina looked in her full-body mirror after getting dressed, turning at different angles and smiling a sad, tortured smile. Everything was okay, for that moment. Lucina put the mask on, obscuring her vision, and stumbled over to the bed; she climbed on, not caring that her brother’s loafers were dirtying her blankets. The pants were a little baggy. The shirt was, too. However, they both hid any womanly curve she had, no matter how small, and they were comfortable. She was content just laying in her bed. After a couple of minutes, she whispered, “Hi, I’m Marth.” Then, she spoke up a little. “Hi, I’m Marth! That’s...that’s me.”
It felt foreign. Even when she just moved her lips and mouthed it, it felt odd. Something she could get used to…
Lucina chuckled wryly. “I’ll never have to.”