Just Us?
Noire tiptoed to the door of her parents’ bedroom. Tharja was snuggled up to Robin, who was reading a book. Tharja was snoozing casually; she would probably be in a deep sleep soon, it was almost ten at night.
Noire cleared her throat, and Robin looked up from his book and smiled. “Noire. What can I do you for?”
Robin was nice, but Noire always felt as if she were outside of the loop when it came to the family. Noire would never be upset with Morgan about it, but Morgan was obviously their father’s favorite, and Tharja was pretty indifferent to both of them. As much as Noire wanted to tell her parents that she was a lesbian, it felt as if she was already unimportant to them; why upset the balance they had, especially when it wasn’t even clear how they would feel about it? Morgan’s thoughts on it were quite carefree; she felt as if it was nobody’s business what her sexuality was, and felt as if there was no need to bring it up. Nah didn’t care about it; she herself wasn’t out.
However, Kjelle was a different story.
Kjelle was out and proud, willing to mention it to anybody who would listen. Although she wasn’t as hateful towards men as Severa, Kjelle wasn’t afraid to talk about how much she loved women (although she always made it clear that Noire was her number one). Everyone who knew her (and even people who didn’t really know her) at school knew that she was a lesbian. In the seventh grade, Kjelle told her parents, Sully and Vaike, that she was gay, and they took it very well, treating her not at all differently. It seemed as if that instant support that she got put on blinders; when Noire told Kjelle that she had no plans on coming out any time soon, Kjelle was instantly confused. Noire tried to show Kjelle stories of kids who had gotten kicked out, beaten, or abused by their parents for being gay, but Kjelle refused to believe that that would happen to anyone she knew. “C’mon, Noire. You’re being a worry-wart,” Kjelle would say. “Just be confident!”
Noire brushed it off, but soon, Kjelle became very insistent. One day, Kjelle confided in Noire and told her that she was starting to wonder if Noire’s worries about her parents’ reaction was the only reason Noire wouldn’t come out. Kjelle said that she really took their relationship seriously, and that she wasn’t sure if Noire did too. Noire was sure she did. For some time, she did hate herself for being a lesbian, and part of her wasn’t certain if that part of her was really gone...however, she did love Kjelle, that was definite, and she had to show Kjelle that.
That’s why, when Kjelle told Noire that her family wanted to take an overnight trip to a beach that was two hours away before the weather got too cold, Noire had to go.
Her parents knew that her and Kjelle were friends, but that was only because they knew that Kjelle was a part of the Geography Club. Noire was sure that it would be a slight shock for her parents to know that Noire was going on a trip with Kjelle and her family, and that the rest of their group wasn’t going. However, Noire wanted to show Kjelle that she wasn’t completely spineless, so she shuffled into her parents’ room and said, “I wanted to know if I could go out of town next weekend.”
“That’s...vague,” Robin admitted with a soft chuckle. Tharja stirred and opened her eyes, then looked up at Robin. Robin looked down at his wife and said, “Noire wants to go out of town.”
“...What?” Tharja deadpanned. “The school year just began, so I guess it’d be nice to have a little tussle before things start to get serious, but...with who, Noire? And where?”
“With Kjelle, and Miss Sully, and Mister Vaike,” Noire babbled. Sully and Vaike told Noire to call them Mom and Dad, but that felt too...personal. It felt too real, like that was the final straw, cemented proof that she was a lesbian and that her and Kjelle were together. She never called them Mom and Dad, but Kjelle didn’t comment on that. “They’re going up to this beach and staying at a hotel, and they wanted to know if I wanted to go. They said they’d pay for me to go, and...yeah.”
“What about Lucina, and Severa, and Morgan, and all the others?” Tharja said with a yawn.
Noire began to panic. They were asking questions. Did they know? Was it obvious? Her hands were sweating. She was shaking a little. “No,” she croaked, “just me, and K-Kjelle, and...her parents…” Mom and Dad, right? “Everybody else has plans, a-and Kjelle, um, w-wants someone her age, so M-Morgan is staying behind!”
Robin frowned. “Morgan’s only a year behind you two.”
“You can go,” Tharja said dismissively. “I want to talk to Sully tomorrow, though. Just to confirm.”
Noire sighed in relief. For once, her mother had come to her rescue. Robin still seemed a bit miffed, but didn’t say anything. “Thank you,” Noire breathed. “I...this...thank you!”
“Noire, it’s just a weekend trip, you don’t have to give yourself a heart attack,” Tharja mumbled. She cozied herself against Robin again, and Noire dashed out before anything else could be said.
Noire stumbled into her room and fell onto her bed, grabbing her cell phone and kicking the door closed. She dialed Kjelle’s number by heart and crawled under the covers. Kjelle was almost always up late, so Noire wasn’t surprised when she heard a chipper, “‘Sup, Noire!”
“Th-they said yes,” Noire whispered excitedly. “I actually asked them, and they...said yes!”
“Really? Awesome! I don’t know why you were so scared.”
“I…” Noire paused. Their relationship was flawless aside from the “coming out” issue. They were going to go on a trip together and probably have time alone, on a beach, together. Everything was good for them. Why ruin it with the sourness of their one and only fault? Noire laughed anxiously. “You know how I am…”
“I wouldn’t have you any other way, babe. Now, get some sleep, alright? We’ll talk more at the club meeting tomorrow,” Kjelle said. Noire could hear the smile in her voice.
“Right. See you at the bleachers. Oh, and…” Noire’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I love you!”
Kjelle sighed a little, and Noire knew why. The hushed tone, the secrecy...Kjelle hated it. But, even then… “I love you too, Noire.”