i'm choking [on the hope meant to save me]
{expectations}
it was your dream school, but you thought you couldn't get in.
[your parent looked at you with contempt. talentless. they tired to love you but..
you really were unremarkable, weren't you?]
you tried, but you were nothing but normal.
you even entered a lottery, hoping beyond hope you'd get lucky.
(you wanted to gain confidence in yourself, was that so bad?)
you didn't, of course. you weren't the lucky type.
{you didn't blame you're parents for being disappointed}
you were a simple guy, the kind of blank, clean slate one might find as a generic protagonist
(except, this wasn't some game. nothing exciting was gonna happen to you, of all people)
you didn't have any real defining characteristics, just a boring normal high school student
[it was worthless, pointless, to try to say differently.]
for a little while, you thought maybe you had a chance.
{those teachers who said everyone was unigue were lying, you learned that the hard way}
it wasn't that bad, your parent cared for you, that much was true
(it was hard to believe, though)
they just had high expectations, and anyone would be a bit effected that everything they did was for nothing.
[you couldn't met such expectations, you were just a normal kid..]
what surprised you is that they found a way to get you in anyways.
reserve course.
it was a new system in place, talentless students such as yourself could attend if they had the money to.
apparently being regarded as the most prestigious school in the country didn't pay as well as one would think.
everyone still passed you by.
{talentless, talentless, talentless, they said, like it was a fate worse than death. like you weren't worthy of being in their presence. you supposed you weren't.}
you began to except such things as fact
[like the fact youd never be good enough]
you stopped going to class.
{such a good for nothing. I thought our son would have more talent than that.
they think you cant hear; that you've already gone to bed, as they hiss under their breath. at the time, you were only 5}
one day, the school approached you.
(they said your love for the school was admirable. they promised to make all your dreams come true)
they offered you the chance to become someone, to become hope.
(you couldn't refuse, but you couldn't accept, either)
after all, they had high
{expectations}