Chapter 3
“Owo” i said, looking down at the round aeehyehss of dibella “whut this?” She was a sexahhhh statue. Like a cOCKatrice had petrified a voluptuous, fine piece of sexaaaaahhhhhehyehsss
“Wow you kno, its making me real uncomfortable that you lookin so much at that ass,” said some BIthc named lidia who i broght places with me.
lidia was swol, like a swol blood god. It made me moist, but not too moist becuz i was in love with brynjolf and had his bbz and i wasnt gay, i was STRAIT, OKAY?
but I got moist again when I soaked myself in a tub of brinejolf (yum) brine juice because that’s what happens when brynjolf touches you because brynjolf is actually mae of water. Like most humans, brynjolf was mostly water. Not like those dirty Lesbians, who were 50% potASSium, that was why they spontaneously combusted when their chemical constituents were split open and exposed to the elements AND THAT'S WHY THE SWOL BLOOD GOD HATES THEM CUZ THERE NO BLOOD TO HARVEST
It was then that i realized this moment had not been in my head and I was actually screaming it up dibella’s stoner boner. I thought that is was strange (but I guess you could say that Life is Strange) but i sucked it off anyways because i was STRATE. STRATE LIKE A MUSHROOM SUBSTRATE SHAKA BRAH.
“Oh dayum, you a fine looking ladahhhhyyyy,” said somone. I turned around ans gasped! It was Mr Krabs!
"AWW YEA MR KRABS" I moaned as I immediate organismed.
I ogranismied like a microscopic algae soaking in brynjolf's brine heat bruh
“My name is naht Mr. Krabs, i am just a talking mudcrab, you wholesome bitch!” but them i got bored and left to go find Brynjolf. I had a sudden craving for that sweet sweaty ass brine. I longed to soak my tender sexy body in it. I had reel big boobs (boobcritic dot cum rated 8/8) and a real big butt. My penis pierced the upper stratum of nirn itself, and nearly made the eye of magnus blink with how close it CAME to the cosmic fabric of his iris.
I didn’t have a vegenna because i WASNT GAY. I'M ALSO NOT A GARY STU SUPER SAIYAN LIKE VEGENNA. FUCK DROGON BULL. when i was little my brother had all these draken bill toys but i wasn’t allowed to play with them because i was a girl and i said that was sexiss and that he was part of the toxic patriarchy and also the reason that dad left and never came back and now we were living with mom even though she doesn’t make enough money at the strip club because she only has one leg and the guys there are abilist pricks who don’t care about us or our issues because theyre just part of the patriarchy so yeah that’s why i burned his dragon ball toys on our christmassive menorah. SUCK dICCOLOS INSTEAD
aNYWAYS I yeeted myself into aetherius and used it like a well lubed wormhole to go check out some gross tomb thingy, cuz jolfy's brine was making my toes pruny and I needed to dry off using some gross draugr skin as sandpaper
but instead I found some cute vampire bitch with emmmasculate porcelain skin and I really wanted to peel it off of her skeleton and wear it as a toga. But when i tried thsi dumb slut was like “hey dont do that” and i was like “okey”